Enough

My doctor was finally able to see me a week after Val's baby shower. Zack urged me to go to the emergency room, but I wasn't too worried about a case of the flu. I just needed my doctor to prescribe me something that would actually kick this flu out of my system.

"Ms. Bowman, how are you feeling?" My doctor asked me.

I laughed humorlessly, "Like shit."

My Doctor chuckled, "Well, let's get you taken care of. What seems to be the problem?"

"I'm pretty sure it's just the flu," I told him with a shrug. "I've taken all sorts of medicine for it but I can't seem to shake it. It's just the normal symptoms. I'm exhausted, my back hurts, I'm nauseous all the time, and I can hardly hold food down. I get these really bad headaches, and then a few days ago I started getting these random spurts of dizziness."
The doctor nodded and charted as I spoke. "Well, I do want to do a couple of tests before just sending you on your way."

I nodded. The doctor then began to explain he was going to take a vial of my blood and have it tested in the lab. I wasn't afraid of blood or needles, so it wasn't a problem. Waiting days for my test results to come back however, was.

"Um, am I going to have to wait for days to get my results back before I can get some medication?" I asked him.

The doctor shook his head as he pulled a tray with the supplies to draw blood on it. "No, our lab is pretty idle today. You came on a good day!" He smiled. "It should be ready in a few hours at the latest. You can hang out here or I can call you and you come back."

I nodded and the doctor began to clean my arm and prepare to draw the blood. Before I knew it the needle was in and the vial began to fill with thick, crimson fluid. The doctor dismissed himself for a few minutes and when he came back the vial was nearly full. He began to unhook me from everything and then taped a cotton ball on the small puncture in my arm.

"Now, I'm going to go have them test this. Would you like to wait in the waiting room or would you like me to call you when your test results are ready?"

I was tempted to go home and take a nap, but I didn't want the lab to forget about me or not receive a call back when I was supposed to. I used to be a practical nurse; I know how these things work.

"I’ll just stick around," I told him.

He smiled at me and led me outside in the waiting room. "I'll let you know as soon as I know something."

What felt like days passed and I was debating whether or not to ask the nurse if the doctor had forgot about me when a nurse walked into the room and called my name.

"I'm here," I told her standing up. She smiled and waved me in her direction, I followed her. She walked a little ways and then knocked on a door. "Doctor, I have Ms. Bowman." She said.

"Let her in please," he said.

She stepped out of the way and I entered the room. The nurse closed the door behind me and my doctor motioned for me to sit in a chair in front of his desk.

"Alright Ms. Bowman, I got your tests results back and you may be relieved to find out it is not the flu."

"It's not?" I asked him.

"No," he said, pulling a piece of paper out of a file with my name one it. "We ran your blood and according to your Human Chorionic Gonadotropin levels, you are about eight weeks pregnant."

"I'm sorry," I said shaking my head. "What?"

He nodded his head. "I double checked it myself."

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, but there must be some mistake. I'm on birth control. I've been on birth control for well over a year now, I've never missed a pill."

"Yes, Ms. Bowman. I read that in your paperwork you filled out. However, birth control is only about ninety-one percent effective, so it is possible to get pregnant while being on any birth control. I would be more than happy to introduce you to one of our ultrasound technicians, if you desire further verification. Or if you would like, we can talk about your other options."

I didn't answer him. He sat there patiently as I sorted through all this in my head. I was pregnant. I was eight weeks pregnant. I was going to be a mother. Zack. Zack was going to be a father.

Or I could get an abortion.

I shook my head and subconsciously touched my stomach. This was a good thing. I was on birth control and this baby still happened, it was meant to be. He or she was meant to come into this world. Zack and I were meant to do this, we were meant to be together and be parents.

"No," I said finally. "This is a good thing."

The doctor beamed at me. "Yes, it is!"

The doctor then began to get me set up on all the things I needed to know about pregnancy, and recommended a few OB/GYN's. He also recommended ways to calm my nausea, and insisted it would be over soon. After we talked about everything we could possibly talk about, he shook my hand and sent me on my way after wishing me luck.

I walked out of the doctor’s office and sat in my car for a long time letting everything that I just talked about sink in. Now I needed to find a way to tell Zack.

A smile ran across my lips as I remembered how happy Matt got when comparing fruit and other foods to the size of his unborn baby. I pulled out my phone and googled 'size of baby at eight weeks'. I clicked on the first website.

Our baby was the size of a raspberry.

I grinned, once again allowing my fingertips to linger on my stomach before I started my car and headed to the nearest grocery store.

After buying raspberries and a small, decorative box I drove home. Zack's car wasn't in the driveway so I called him. He answered on the second ring.

"Hey, baby. Everything okay?" He sounded worried.

"Everything is fine. Where are you?" I asked.

"I’m getting some coffee; I'm about ten minutes away from the house. Are you still at the doctor's office?"

I touched my stomach again and I smiled. "No, I'm at home."

"Well, what did the doctor say? Did he give you something to get rid of the flu?"

"No." I answered honestly.

Zack's tone was of confusion, "No?"

"We can talk about it when you get home," I said.

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too." I said and hung up.

I pulled my keys out of the ignition and grabbed the decorative box and opened it. I grabbed a pen out of my purse and wrote: "Our baby is the size of a raspberry" on the inside of the box and then a few inches down I wrote my approximate due date. I picked a raspberry out of the container I had just bought and placed in inside the box before closing it and tying it with a ribbon.

I put the documents and papers from the doctor’s office in my purse, and got out of the car with the decorative box in my hand. I locked my car door and then walked up to the house and unlocked the front door.

It was a particular cloudy day, so the inside of the house was pretty dark with no lights on and the curtains drawn. I dropped my purse on the table in the entry way and continued into the living room with the decorative box still in my hand.

I walked into the living room and realized my car keys were still in my hand. I turned around to put them in my purse and when I did a light flicked on.

"Rebekah."

I dropped my keys and the decorative box. My blood ran cold. I stopped breathing. My entire body went rigid as I slowly turned back around to face the intruder. "Jake, what are you doing here?" I asked him. My hands were shaking so bad I thought I could hear my bones rattle.

Jake didn't say anything for a long time. I tried to keep my breaths even; my arm lay protectively over my middle as if I had a stomachache. I wanted to call out for help but I didn't dare. I hope Jake and I could talk this out. I hoped Zack came home soon.

"I want you to come home, Rebekah." Jake finally broke the silence. He didn't move towards me but I took a step back absentmindedly.

"Jake, I am home." I told him. My voice was shaking but I tried to hide it. I couldn't let him know how scared I was.

He shook his head aggressively. "No, Rebekah. Come home with me now."

"Zack is going to be home any minute now," I told him.

Jake took a few steps towards me and I backed up until my back hit a wall. "Rebekah, I love you. I love you so much, please come home. I miss you so much. I even came and saw you a few weeks ago but you were sleeping," he told me. "I just wanted to be near you. I just wanted to be with you. You were alone and then you weren't. I had to sneak out your bedroom window because Zack was coming up the stairs before I had time to escape. I couldn't risk being seen there again, not after he almost killed me. You really want to be with a man who is willing to do that? I just want to be with you and he tried to kill me for it."

I didn't move, I didn't speak. The day of Valary’s baby shower, I thought I heard Zack come home but it wasn't Zack. It was Jake. He was in my bedroom with me, Zack missed him by seconds.

Jake fell to his knees and looked up to me pleadingly. "Baby, please. Things are better now, I'm better now. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you I swear I will never do it again. Please just give me another chance. Please just come back to me."

Tears began to well up and no matter how hard I tried to hold them back they fell freely from my face. Jake kept rambling on but I wasn't listening. I needed to get out of here. I needed to escape.

I slowly took a step from the wall and began to take small side steps away from Jake, who was too busy apologizing to the floor to notice my movements.

Suddenly, he looked up at me and shoved his hand into his pocket and I froze, clenching my eyes shut when he pulled his hand out with something in his fist.

I didn't open my eyes until I head Jake speak again. "Rebekah, I love you. I promise I will never, ever lay a hand on you again. Please, come back to me and make me the happiest guy in the entire world." Jake was holding a diamond ring between his thumb and pointer finger.
I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. "Jake..." I choked out between tears. I had to get out of here.

"Please, baby." He begged me. He took my hand and pressed his lips to it.

I stared at him unsure of what to say or do. Where was Zack? He should be here by now!

"I know things haven't been well between us for some time now, but you're the most important person in my life." Jake said. The more he spoke, the quicker my breaths got, the more I cried, the more I silently begged for Zack to get here. "I love you, Rebekah. I love you so much. You love me right? You love me?" I didn't answer him, I couldn't. I loved Zack. I wanted Zack.
"Damn it, answer me you stupid fucking bitch!" Jake yelled. Before I knew what was happening, he dropped the ring and made a swift moment and pulled something from the waist of his jeans.

A gun.

My heart stopped. I couldn't breathe; my lungs had shriveled up out of fear. My brain stopped working. I stared at the gun that Jake had pointed at me. Suddenly, my lungs began to work again and I took a deep breath. Tears fell and I began to sob harder than I ever had before.

"Please, please." I begged. "Please don't do this Jake. Please just leave, I won't tell anyone you were here! Please!"

"You're coming with me! I love you Rebekah! Zack doesn't love you! He doesn't want you, but I do! I love you! I lo..."

"I'm pregnant!" I choked out in a sob. I covered my mouth as soon as the words slipped out.
Why did I say that? Why did I tell him that?

Jake stopped and stared up at me. His face slightly softened and he lowered the gun a few inches. "You're pregnant." He said softly. I think it was meant as a question but it came out as a statement. I didn't say anything and his hand, holding the gun began to shake.

A car door slammed shut and I knew Zack was home. The chirp of him locking his vehicle caught Jake’s attention and I subconsciously took a step towards the front door. Jake raised the gun back up and aimed it back at me. I stopped moving.

I heard Zack walking up to the front door but I couldn't take my eyes from the barrel of the gun.

"I love you." Jake said.

There was a crack of gunfire.

A white hot pain.

Another crack.

And then nothing but darkness.

Notes