I am falling once again. One last glimpse of a beautiful blue sky flashes before my eyes, then my body hits the ground. No, not ground. Water. It surrounds me and I sink deeper and deeper, struggling to swim to the top. This bottomless pool has swallowed me up and all I can do is scream.

"AAAEEAAHH!!!" My eyes flew open and I shot up crying. I heard the pounding of foot steps outside my door then Jas burst in. Flying out of my bed, Jas caught me before I face planted and sat me on the floor.

"Oh Mari..." She stayed with me all night keeping me company. I fell back asleep around dawn desperately wishing the nightmare would go away.

~~~~~~~~~

"Look there she is!" All of my family was gathered in the den eating lunch when I walked in.

"Come on Mari, sit down with us." I plopped down on the couch next to Jas and flicked on the t.v. Acting as normal as I could, I hid the fact that on the inside I was ravaged by guilt. Be strong Mari, for them, I willed myself. While my parents discussed trivial things, I tapped Jas's leg.

"Thanks for staying with me last night." She smiled sadly at me.

"It's no problem sis. But... What's been wrong with you lately? You seem so distracted and depressed, it's awful. Does it have to do with Zacky when he visited?" I jolted at the sound of his name and nodded. She nodded in return and suddenly stood up.

"Hey guys, me and Mari are gunna go for a walk." Our parents nodded and told us to be home soon, then we were out the door. We walked in silence for a few minutes before Jas finally spoke.

"So, what happened? Did you two fight or something?" Shaking my head, she and I sat down and I sighed.

"No, we didn't fight," I whispered to hide my cracking voice, "we..." Just thinking of that night made all my feelings come rushing back and my head dropped. Jas rubbed my back as I sobbed, holding me close and whispering soothing things.

"Mari, I hate seeing you like this. So sad, so hurt...." I gritted my teeth, forcing all my feelings back into my heart. Wiping my tears, I quietly explained what went down when he came to visit. Her face changed from worry to anger in a second.

"How could you do that Mari?!? He's Jimmy's best friend, and you fucked him? You SHOULD feel like shit Mari... GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" She stormed off towards our house, leaving me sitting there stunned. Then my emotions came back, 10 times worse than before, and I collapsed crying uncontrollably.

~~~~~~~~~~~
(Jasmine's Point of View)

"You SHOULD feel like shit Mari... GOD I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU!" I leaped to my feet and ran to my house. I didn't look back, but I could hear her sobs all the way down the street, twisting my heart.

"She deserves it!" I reminded myself as I approached the house. I took a deep breath to calm myself before walking in.

"Oh Jasmine, you're back. Where's Mari?" I looked at my mom with fake happiness.

"She went to Claire's house for a bit." I lied. Claire had been my best friend since we were 5, and I loved her as much as I did Mari. She and my sister had never been particularly close but they didn't hate each other either.

"Tsk tsk, that girl. Doesn't she know she needs to start packing up? She IS leaving in a few days isn't she?" I left my parents in there talking about her and her responsibility problems and went into the backyard, stripping off my clothes before jumping in the pool. I floated there thinking about everything Mari had told me.

"Oh Marissa, what have you done?"

~~~~~~~~~~

The light fades away as I sink deeper and deeper. I've accepted my fate and relax, not thinking, talking nor moving, simply floating down. It feels like I'm being covered with a heavy blanket that makes it hard to breathe and move.
These feelings of isolation and loneliness find their way into my mind, clouding my rationality and immobilizing me.
You'll never be able to hit the bottom, never be able to resurface. I can do nothing but think this one thought, welcoming madness to claim me, to kill me. It's a living hell, in its own way.

My eyes blinked open and I glanced around my room. The nightmare is over, I sighed in relief. I slipped out of bed and got dressed, then tip-toed down the stairs and out the door. The sky was dark and filled with stars and the air crisp and cold. I leisurely walked from our door to the sidewalk and started jogging.

After running around the neighborhood to clear my head, I crept back inside and hopped in the shower. I washed my body and hair, then turned off the faucet and wrapped a towel around me. Even before I opened the door, I knew that Jas was in the hallway waiting for me. She looked like a cougar stalking her prey and I passed by her quick to get into the bedroom.

"Stop." She commanded and I instantly did.

"What do you want? I need to get dressed."

"Do that then." She snapped before disappearing into the living room. I got dressed and reluctantly walked back into the den.

"I'm here." I squeaked nervously.

"Don't act so afraid, I'm not gunna hurt you. We just need to talk." I nodded but still didn't sit near her.

"I'm sorry about what I said to you yesterday. I know what happened with you and Zack wasn't what you planned, but that doesn’t make it ok."

"You don't think I know that?!" My voice rose slightly. She flinched and I mentally slapped myself for getting mad.

"Look, I know why you hate this so much. I know what Jason did to you, how he hurt you, but I have no intention of hurting Jimmy. I LOVE him, Jasmine. More than anything in this entire world." We sat there in an awkward silence until Jas spoke again.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Of course. This was all just a mistake, and I see no reason to keep it from him. If I never tell him and he somehow finds out, he’ll hate me more for hiding it."
“And if he leaves you?” I paused for a second then answered;
“Then we’ll be even.”

She looked at her feet but soon got up to leave. Eventually I left too, slipping into my room and crashing onto the bed, bracing myself for the nightmare that was sure to come.