A little piece of heaven
1/1
8 February, 11:30 p.m.
I looked around the store carefully once again. The same wooden cabinets, big shelves filled with liquor of different brands and varieties, small shelves of the same kind filled with hundreds of Marlboro packets. Nothing had changed. Except that everything had changed.
I grabbed two bottles of Jack Daniels, the old no. 7, and headed towards the counter. I paid the man behind the counter and grabbed my stuff. "Enjoy the drink." I heard the man say as I made my way towards the door. Oh, I will enjoy it; every single drop of it.
I walked down the street under the dimly lit street lights without even looking up once. I knew it clearly what I was doing. Before leaving my house this evening, I had taken quite a big dose of heroin. And oh my god, the feeling.......so bright euphoria, so much energy and self confidence. Though I walked in perfectly into that store, but my legs did wobble a few times.
The road was wet and the air gave me chills. Was I doing the right thing?
It was 11:40 when I walked in alone into the dark graveyard. Gravestones lined the eerie graveyard and mould covered the engravings dedicated to the dead. Trees were leaning towards the stones, branches were reaching out to each other. The graveyard was surrounded by black fencing. The smell of old stones filled the dry air, weeds covered the graves of the dead.
Rows of tombstones stood erect in silence to my left and right, back and front, like a sea of the dead. I walked over to my best friend's tombstone and saw the engraved name once again: James Owen Sullivan.
"I'm here, Jimmy...." I said, looking at the name on the stone. "....and, I've brought us a little treat." I said, lifting the bag in my hand a little.
I sat down in front of the tomb and took out the Jack Daniels. "Good news first; you're gonna be an uncle again. Lacey and Johnny are expecting baby number 2. Damn, that Short Shit. He still goofs around cracking the weirdest and lamest jokes ever." I said with a chuckle, shaking my head.
"Did you notice how fat V got since last Christmas? Man, I've told him to hit the gym but he's way, way too lazy." I said and licked my lips. "And, he and Gena are also very happy with their little one." I said with a smile.
"Matt is....like the same old Matt, even though his voice changed a lot and he's keeping long hair nowadays. He and Val are the perfect parents to their perfect, little kids. But the kids are always either screaming or breaking stuff. I'm telling you dude, they're gonna be totally rebellious like their dad and uncles." I say, pondering our own childhood together.
"I'm sure you know Arin, or the kid as we call him sometimes. After....you left, we lost hope. Mike was with us for some time, but he had to go. Then came Arin. He was like the light at the end of the tunnel. We worked together for a good couple of years, until he left the band. But don't worry. We've got Brooks now." I say, smiling faintly.
"As for me, well, I'm me I guess." I said, looking down at my knotted fingers. "I'm married though, to Michelle." I said and took a deep breathe. "Everyone you loved and cared for are fine. Every time we have a get together Jimmy, we remember you. Every single concert, every interview, photo shoot....everywhere...we miss you, dude." I said and felt a big lump of pain rising in my throat. My eyes had turned watery, but I refused to shed my tears. I couldn't cry....not in front of Jimmy.
"I'm lonely, Jimmy. When you left, you took a big part of me with you. You had told me to remain strong and not to fall down. I always did what you wanted me to do, but now....it seems all....meaningless." I said and somehow lost to that small drop of tear that ran down my cheek.
I opened a bottle of Jack and drank down half of it. I felt a burning sensation pouring down my throat, but that pain couldn't be compared to the pain I was feeling now mentally. After downing the first bottle, everything seemed as if it was moving. It felt as if the sky was gonna collapse on me any moment or the ground was gonna crack open and engulf me. But nothing happened.
As I started to open the second bottle, I felt weakness in my body. For some reason, I couldn't hold the bottle properly. I felt dizzy and could not keep my body in this sitting position anymore. I stood up somehow and walked upto the tombstone and laid down beside it. The dark sky seemed blurred and all the glimmering stars seemed to mix up with each other.
My head ached and my chest hurt badly every time I inhaled. But I shrugged away that feeling. "Remember, Jimmy. In 2006 during our tour, we stayed in that hotel in Germany?" I asked and looked beside me. "Remember how we five fooled the guards and went to the terrace of that hotel at midnight?" I said and a smile crept over my face.
"That night the sky was the same as tonight. The pearl like full moon, pitch black sky with millions of twinkling stars all across the sky." I said as my eyelids got heavier. "Twinkling stars...." I mumbled. All of a sudden, pain shot up through my veins causing me to groan. I realized it was the kind of pain Jimmy suffered, how it burned slowly under the skin......
I kept my eyes open and tried to see the sky clearly.....one last time. "I'm coming, Jimmy. See you on the other side in five......" My breathing increased as well as the pain in my body.
"....four,"
I know they'll all think it's an accident,
"....three", except for Matt, Zacky and Johnny. The note I've left for them,
"...two," They'd realize I couldn't go any further like this without Jimmy.
"...one."
It's all over............
I felt my body being carried in....the air? When I opened my eyes, everything was white. My skin felt cold and it was awfully blue. And that means I'm....dead..?
I looked around as I started walking on the white.....I don't know if I should call it floor or cloud. I felt like a little kid lost in a deserted place.
"Looking for me?" I finally heard that voice which I hadn't heard in all these years. That voice.....
I turned back slowly and everything seemed to freeze. There he was, standing against a white pillar, dressed in white. His blue eyes was the same and his skin and face were bluish as well.
"Jimmy...." I whispered unbelievably.
"God, I was tired waiting for you all these years. I was so damn bored! Now come on." he said and for a moment, I thought I was dreaming. I shut my eyes tightly and breathed deeply.
"It ain't a dream, Bri." I heard Jimmy's voice again and shot open my eyes. "We both are here in this little piece of heaven. Irony, isn't it?" Jimmy said with a smile playing on his lips. "Happy birthday, Jimmy." I heard myself say. "Oh, you're right. It's my birthday!" he said, God he was still the same!
Without thinking twice, I walked forward and hugged my best friend. Sorrow and happiness filled my heart at the same time. "Jimmy, I've missed you so much that I can't even explain." I said before noticing that I had been crying. "I know, Bri. I've been watching everything from up here." he said and I looked at him. I missed talking to him, I missed hanging out with him, I missed all of him.
"I've missed you too, Bri." he said, somehow reading my mind.
"I've missed you too, Jimbo." I said and hugged him once again.
I looked around the store carefully once again. The same wooden cabinets, big shelves filled with liquor of different brands and varieties, small shelves of the same kind filled with hundreds of Marlboro packets. Nothing had changed. Except that everything had changed.
I grabbed two bottles of Jack Daniels, the old no. 7, and headed towards the counter. I paid the man behind the counter and grabbed my stuff. "Enjoy the drink." I heard the man say as I made my way towards the door. Oh, I will enjoy it; every single drop of it.
I walked down the street under the dimly lit street lights without even looking up once. I knew it clearly what I was doing. Before leaving my house this evening, I had taken quite a big dose of heroin. And oh my god, the feeling.......so bright euphoria, so much energy and self confidence. Though I walked in perfectly into that store, but my legs did wobble a few times.
The road was wet and the air gave me chills. Was I doing the right thing?
It was 11:40 when I walked in alone into the dark graveyard. Gravestones lined the eerie graveyard and mould covered the engravings dedicated to the dead. Trees were leaning towards the stones, branches were reaching out to each other. The graveyard was surrounded by black fencing. The smell of old stones filled the dry air, weeds covered the graves of the dead.
Rows of tombstones stood erect in silence to my left and right, back and front, like a sea of the dead. I walked over to my best friend's tombstone and saw the engraved name once again: James Owen Sullivan.
"I'm here, Jimmy...." I said, looking at the name on the stone. "....and, I've brought us a little treat." I said, lifting the bag in my hand a little.
I sat down in front of the tomb and took out the Jack Daniels. "Good news first; you're gonna be an uncle again. Lacey and Johnny are expecting baby number 2. Damn, that Short Shit. He still goofs around cracking the weirdest and lamest jokes ever." I said with a chuckle, shaking my head.
"Did you notice how fat V got since last Christmas? Man, I've told him to hit the gym but he's way, way too lazy." I said and licked my lips. "And, he and Gena are also very happy with their little one." I said with a smile.
"Matt is....like the same old Matt, even though his voice changed a lot and he's keeping long hair nowadays. He and Val are the perfect parents to their perfect, little kids. But the kids are always either screaming or breaking stuff. I'm telling you dude, they're gonna be totally rebellious like their dad and uncles." I say, pondering our own childhood together.
"I'm sure you know Arin, or the kid as we call him sometimes. After....you left, we lost hope. Mike was with us for some time, but he had to go. Then came Arin. He was like the light at the end of the tunnel. We worked together for a good couple of years, until he left the band. But don't worry. We've got Brooks now." I say, smiling faintly.
"As for me, well, I'm me I guess." I said, looking down at my knotted fingers. "I'm married though, to Michelle." I said and took a deep breathe. "Everyone you loved and cared for are fine. Every time we have a get together Jimmy, we remember you. Every single concert, every interview, photo shoot....everywhere...we miss you, dude." I said and felt a big lump of pain rising in my throat. My eyes had turned watery, but I refused to shed my tears. I couldn't cry....not in front of Jimmy.
"I'm lonely, Jimmy. When you left, you took a big part of me with you. You had told me to remain strong and not to fall down. I always did what you wanted me to do, but now....it seems all....meaningless." I said and somehow lost to that small drop of tear that ran down my cheek.
I opened a bottle of Jack and drank down half of it. I felt a burning sensation pouring down my throat, but that pain couldn't be compared to the pain I was feeling now mentally. After downing the first bottle, everything seemed as if it was moving. It felt as if the sky was gonna collapse on me any moment or the ground was gonna crack open and engulf me. But nothing happened.
As I started to open the second bottle, I felt weakness in my body. For some reason, I couldn't hold the bottle properly. I felt dizzy and could not keep my body in this sitting position anymore. I stood up somehow and walked upto the tombstone and laid down beside it. The dark sky seemed blurred and all the glimmering stars seemed to mix up with each other.
My head ached and my chest hurt badly every time I inhaled. But I shrugged away that feeling. "Remember, Jimmy. In 2006 during our tour, we stayed in that hotel in Germany?" I asked and looked beside me. "Remember how we five fooled the guards and went to the terrace of that hotel at midnight?" I said and a smile crept over my face.
"That night the sky was the same as tonight. The pearl like full moon, pitch black sky with millions of twinkling stars all across the sky." I said as my eyelids got heavier. "Twinkling stars...." I mumbled. All of a sudden, pain shot up through my veins causing me to groan. I realized it was the kind of pain Jimmy suffered, how it burned slowly under the skin......
I kept my eyes open and tried to see the sky clearly.....one last time. "I'm coming, Jimmy. See you on the other side in five......" My breathing increased as well as the pain in my body.
"....four,"
I know they'll all think it's an accident,
"....three", except for Matt, Zacky and Johnny. The note I've left for them,
"...two," They'd realize I couldn't go any further like this without Jimmy.
"...one."
It's all over............
I felt my body being carried in....the air? When I opened my eyes, everything was white. My skin felt cold and it was awfully blue. And that means I'm....dead..?
I looked around as I started walking on the white.....I don't know if I should call it floor or cloud. I felt like a little kid lost in a deserted place.
"Looking for me?" I finally heard that voice which I hadn't heard in all these years. That voice.....
I turned back slowly and everything seemed to freeze. There he was, standing against a white pillar, dressed in white. His blue eyes was the same and his skin and face were bluish as well.
"Jimmy...." I whispered unbelievably.
"God, I was tired waiting for you all these years. I was so damn bored! Now come on." he said and for a moment, I thought I was dreaming. I shut my eyes tightly and breathed deeply.
"It ain't a dream, Bri." I heard Jimmy's voice again and shot open my eyes. "We both are here in this little piece of heaven. Irony, isn't it?" Jimmy said with a smile playing on his lips. "Happy birthday, Jimmy." I heard myself say. "Oh, you're right. It's my birthday!" he said, God he was still the same!
Without thinking twice, I walked forward and hugged my best friend. Sorrow and happiness filled my heart at the same time. "Jimmy, I've missed you so much that I can't even explain." I said before noticing that I had been crying. "I know, Bri. I've been watching everything from up here." he said and I looked at him. I missed talking to him, I missed hanging out with him, I missed all of him.
"I've missed you too, Bri." he said, somehow reading my mind.
"I've missed you too, Jimbo." I said and hugged him once again.
Notes
I've been thinking about something like this for a few weeks now. And finally I planned out how this would take place. I hope it's good and you guys enjoyed it.
Once again: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JIMMY!
@DaphneG
Thats good to know!! I'll be here ;)
2/18/16