I've Lost the Power to Feel

A couple days later we receive our promised RV, courtesy of an old friend of mine who lives up north and has dropped it off out of the kindness of his heart (and fifty bucks), since it was in Mound and he was closer. As we tape the numerous boxes shut and label them with permanent markers of all colors, Maya and I take turns loading the boxes in the compartment underneath. While we went through all of our stuff and got rid of half of what we own, I am baffled at how much stuff we have put together. I am in charge of taking garbage bags and boxes of various sizes to Goodwill and Plato’s Closet, and, based on the number of both in the living room, it’ll probably take me a solid 5 hours to move it all.

Since the RV can pull a car behind, it is unanimous decision between us that it would be mine, since Maya sold her Prius a week ago and bought a truck. She told me she has always wanted a truck, but has been obsessing over the environment as of late. We decide it would be in our best interests to take the RV in for a tuneup and an oil change, since there’s no way to tell if it will make it to California--a good 2000 miles or so. The thing has to be from the 80’s, so basically ancient. I make an appointment for the day we begin our journey out West with Matt.

By the time we have closed the house and have handed the keys to the new owners; an older couple from Arkansas; nearly two weeks have passed since our decision was made to move away. Vic has been kind enough to fetch the trailer we acquired through some bargaining, as she is still in Minnesota. She decided to stay for the rest of the summer to grieve with Mom and help her with her own move. After loading Sootar at Wyndem, which takes a significant amount of time since he decided he wants to stay home, we head over to Matt's shop, Wees Automotive.

Matt and Riley sit just inside one of the open garages, escaping the heat of the June sun, sitting on cardboard boxes and smoking cigarettes. Matt stands up first and dusts off his jeans, covering them in even more grease and who-knows-what-else, when our caravan pulls in. In order to not get lonely, Maya and I bought a set of long-range walkie-talkies so we can annoy each other to death, er, communicate.

I jump down from the RV driver's seat and engulf Matt in a hug. I tug his pitch-black hair, which is currently resting in its usual low ponytail, and he ruffles my hair in return, which I crinkle my nose at, showing my detest.

"How've you been?” I ask, letting go. “How's the shop?"

He grins. "It's been good, yeah. Business isn't too shabby. Ri and I are holding up."

"That's really good. So,” I gesture to the beat-up old RV, “how much are you going to spank me for this?"

He shrugs. "Well, I know very well that getting these things was not cheap. How about $200, including an oil change for your Viper?” He glances at my beloved vehicle, now being lowered to the ground by my best friend and one of Matt’s employees. “You know I love that thing. You ever want to get rid of it, I’ll personally drive my ass out to California and get her myself."

I smile. "Matt, have I ever told you that you're the bestest friend ever?" I hug him quickly and I hear a quiet 'ahem' behind me. I turn around and nearly ram into Riley's tall, willowy form. I crane my neck up to look him in the eye and he smiles at me, flipping his honey-blond hair out of his face with two fingers. Matt is tall and thin, but nobody I know can rival Riley. He stands a good 6-foot-2 and can’t weigh more than 190. He used to be much more gangly and a little awkward, but I notice his physique has improved tremendously.

"Oh, hey, Ri," I say, surprised.

He smiles boyishly. "Hey, Jordan. How’s it going?"

I look over his body more closely and notice the beginnings of tattooed sleeves on his upper arms through his dirty white t-shirt. The shirt sticks slightly to his biceps because of his sweat, showing hints of muscles that had definitely not been there during our school days. There’s still an innocent yet wise look to his face, that hasn’t changed, but the acne that had been there years ago is now gone, only fading scars in its wake. There’s more emotion to his expressions now; he used to lack that. To my surprise, Riley has finally begun to take care of his eyebrows; something that had bothered me for years. It became a huge joke after a while, but it seems he eventually caved.

Damn, this boy is hot and he doesn’t even know it. We've been friends for years, and he still has the same old chill personality he’s always had. I've had an itty bitty crush on Riley for years, but nothing major since I was dating Ashton and I never wished to ruin the great friendship we had.

We make small talk for what only seems like a few minutes.

"So, you're working here now?" I ask, coming out from my thoughts and silently hoping he didn’t catch me staring a little bit ago.

He shakes his head. "Only for a few months. I'm being deployed to Afghanistan soon. Until then, I'm earning my keep here."

I nod solemnly.It has been Riley’s dream to join the military one day. "Woah, I can’t believe you actually did it. Did you make it into the Marines?."

"Marines, yeah." After a pause, he hugs me. For being so thin, he’s a great hugger, although he wasn’t fond of it during school when I knew him best. "I'm going to miss you, Jordan. A lot." He whispers softly into my ear.

“But, we haven’t really talked in ages,” I comment, feeling confused and surprised at his sudden display of affection.

“Yeah, but soon you’ll be thousands of miles away and I won’t get to talk to you, or Matt, or anybody. I’m already lonely.”

"Don't worry, I'll write you while you're there; I will, promise." I encourage him.

He pulls away from me, his hands gripping my forearms. I glimpse tears welling in his eyes.

"Jordan," he whispers hoarsely. "I'm afraid to go. I'm so, so scared."

Oh man… I rest both hands on his shoulders. "You'll do wonderfully, Ri. I know you will."

Riley shuffles his feet and watches the dust poof. "Thanks."

"Jordan, Matt's almost done! We gotta leave before noon," Maya yells at me from beside the horse trailer, where Sootar is getting impatient and begins stamping his hooves in protest to his confinement. I’d take him out, but I decided to wait because I know he’ll throw a fit again. I’m shocked at how much time has passed. I didn’t even notice Matt leaving my side. He and his guys must be working double time to get us driveable so fast.

Riley tenderly brushes a piece of my dark red hair out of my face, a rather sweet gesture. "You be safe, now. For me."

I nod. “You too.” Thunder claps overhead, signaling an oncoming storm and making me jump in the process. "Goodbye, Riley. You’ll make all of America proud. "

Riley suddenly jerks me close and kisses me gently on the lips. "Goodbye, Jordan." With that, he turns on his heel and strides back into the dark depths of the first garage. I stand there, completely shocked, and touch my lips. Hours seem to pass as I stare at the garage where Riley disappeared. Did he really just kiss me? I mean, we’ve been best friends since the eighth grade; does he actually think of me more than that?

"Jordan, come on!" Maya and Matt both shout simultaneously from Maya’s Tundra.

I shake my head in hopes of clearing it. "Coming!" I counter, trotting to the RV, which is now outside again, and hop into the driver's seat after hugging Matt one last time in thanks and paying him.

I rev the engine, listening to the diesel engine rumble for a long minute before putting the vehicle in gear.

Off we go.

Notes

Yay, I just about doubled this chapter. DOUBLE. Still way under word count, but for simply editing, I'm proud. Also, I'm mastering Dutch braids on my own head if anyone cares.

Vote and comment, you know the drill. :)

M