Brian's POV
When we got back to Ohio and said goodbye the kids, I could tell it wasn't easy for Penny. Chloe understood why we were leaving for a while. "Mom has been hiding in that house for two months and you guys haven't been home in California for over 3 months. We know that you aren't always going to be here." When we left Penny had tears rolling down her cheeks.
"This was harder than I thought to leave the kids, but I know I need to get used to it. "She said.
"Are you sure you want to right now? I don't have to be back for a couple of weeks. It's not easy for me to leave either, they are my family too."
"No, Chloe is right. We have both been stuck here for too long." She said.
"Then let's get Pinkly and get going." I reached over and held her hand.

Penny's POV
It was good to be back in California and out in the world again. I would sometimes have anxiety in crowded places. The therapist said it would take time and that I shouldn't try to avoid those situations. I just didn't know if I was ready to take off on the road again. I wanted to be with Brian and it was something that I used to enjoy. I knew it was something he and I needed to talk out. We were still having therapy sessions via video conferencing. I decided that maybe it was best to talk it out with therapist's help.
"Brian, what do you want Penny to do?" She asked.
"I want her with me, but I don't want her to do anything that will set her back."
"Penny, what do you want to do?"
"I want to go with him, but I am still having anxiety issues around large groups of people. It's hard to avoid that on the road." I said. "I know you told me not to avoid it, but that coupled with being away from home might be too much."
"Well, I hear you both saying you want to do what's best for Penny. We just need to figure out what that is." She said.
"Is there a way for Penny not to go the whole trip? Maybe at the very first and then a few days here and there after that. Brian, how long will you be away?"
"Four months, but I will be back the week before Thanksgiving. I leave again right after that for another couple of weeks."
"Penny, are you ready to travel yet without Brian?" She asked.
"Yes, as long as someone I know stays with me at the airport until I get on the plane and is there to meet me when I get off."
"We can work that out, no problem." Brian said.
"Okay, now we're getting somewhere. Penny are you reasonably comfortable traveling with Brian when he first leaves?"
"Yes."
"Okay, what about going and trying it out for a week? You can decide after that if you want to stay. If you decide to go home, I suggest you consider trying it again after a couple of months. Maybe going with him after Thanksgiving. What do each of you think about that?"
"I think it is worth a try." I looked at Brian.
"I think so too." He smiled.

Brian's POV
Having Penny with me meant a lot, I knew she was really stepping out of her current comfort zone. But leaving her at home alone was out of mine. I hoped she'd make it more than a week and she did. At first it was rough, but when at all possible she never left my side and she was always at the side of the stage with a kiss before the show and a hug after.

I think I had more anxiety than Penny at times. There were a couple of times I would look to the side of the stage and I didn't see her and I was worried, but then I would see her.
The dreams were the worst part. The dream was always basically the same, we would be at one of our houses and Penny and I are in the gazebo dancing I am holding her close and I go to kiss her but she's gone. She just disappears right in my arms. I always woke up right after that. The dream really bothered me, but I didn't tell Penny about it. It was just a crazy dream. It was probably because of almost losing her. I couldn't help holding on to her even tighter when I woke up. I wasn't going to have that luxury when she goes back home. At least I had 3 more weeks before she had to go back go back Mid-October to help Bianca with wedding planning.

The twins were both sick at the end of September so Penny had to go home to help Chloe. It was hard for both of us, we had not been apart since May. Her leaving in three weeks, now became tomorrow. We would not be together again until the week before Thanksgiving.
The night before Penny's flight, we made love and took a shower. She fell asleep in my arms and I watched her sleeping so peacefully. It was going to be so hard to let her go tomorrow. I knew it was going to be hard for her too. I decided to make sure she had something to remember until we were together again.

Penny's POV
I awoke to the delicious feeling of lips on my breasts. I looked down to see Brian moving over my body. His hands caressed my thighs and then moved inwards to stroke me between my legs. I shivered in anticipation as he gently delved within, arousing me in the way that only he could do. "Hmmmmm, Bri?"
"It's time for your wakeup call" his sexy voice making my body tingle.
"That feels so good," I murmured stroking his back and kissing his hair. "Don't stop."
He was biting gently on my nipples, taking each one in turn and nibbling and sucking at the hard peaks. My arousal grew as his fingers probed deeper.
As Brian kissed and stroked my body, "hmmm, that feels so good." I said.
"I bet I can make you feel even better." He said. Kissing his way down past my belly button and spreading my legs.
He took his time slowly, knowing that tonight would be the last time we could do this for a little while. His tongue worked gently at first, making me gasp with pleasure. So, so slowly he licked around my pleasure center, his tongue was sending waves of bliss through me and I wanted more.
"Oh God, Bri..." I whispered as he started to alternate sucking and his tongue massaging the bud. "I can't take much more of this..."
He looked up and smiled at me, his hand resuming the motions his mouth had abandoned. "When we're apart I want you to remember what it feels like when I touch you, when I pleasure you. Will you do that Penny?"
My back was now arching as he was taking me over the top. "Yes! I will never forget!" Then he inserted two fingers forcefully and watched as I could not hold back anymore.
"That's it baby, I will not forget your beautiful face as you succumb to the pleasure only I give you." I couldn't stop, it had to be the longest orgasm ever. Then I just collapsed, he moved up the bed next to me. "Did you like that?" He laughed.
"It was okay." I laughed.
He was on top of me in two seconds. "Okay? Okay! That's it woman! Are you ready, because it's time for more!" Amazingly I was ready for more.
"I'm ready if you are, Junior!!"
We made love until the sun started to rise. I knew I was going to miss him so much, not just physically. I knew I would miss my best friend the one person that knew me better than anyone and loved me, flaws and all.

Saying goodbye was not easy. I was thankful that we had stayed up all night. I slept during the flight it was easier than thinking about leaving him.

Back in Ohio, Bianca met me at the gate and with her was Gwyn, a former co-worker that Bianca and I used to be close to. She had left the company after writing a bestselling novel. We hadn't seen much of her since she started traveling all around the world. She was now very successful. I have to admit I was a little jealous. It was still great to see her and I had missed her. We enjoyed teasing each other just the same as Bianca and I did. Even though I was the oldest of our group they never treated me differently.
"Well, if it isn't Miss Hot Shot Author! Living the good life, traveling the world! Did you forget about us poor slobs in Ohio!"
"Like you have room to talk, Mrs. Married to a Rock star! I've kept up on you traveling with your ultra hunky hubby! How many houses in how many states do you have now?"
"Brat!" We hugged. "It's good to see you!"
"Cougar! It's good to see you so happy, Penny." She said.
We caught up on the drive back home. Gwyn was Bianca's Maid of Honor and I was Matron of Honor.
Bianca dropped me and my luggage off at home. I headed over to Chloe's to help with the girls. I called Bri on my way over.
"Hi there Wifey!"
"Hi Hubby. Miss me yet?"
"I've missed you from the second you left. Are you home and everything went ok at the airport?"
"Yep, slept most of the flight and then Bianca and Gwyn picked me up at the airport."
"Who's Gwyn again?"
"Our friend who used to work with us."
"Oh yeah, the Author. I'm glad you have another friend in town while I am gone. Hopefully, I can meet her when I get back."
"I am sure you will. I'm at Chloe's now, video chat tonight?"
"You bet, I'll call you after the show. Give Chloe and the girls hugs and kisses from me. I love you."
"I love you too."

It was great being with Chloe and watching what a great Mom she already was. My granddaughters were the sweetest most beautiful babies in the world. I could have been biased, just a little.
I was thankful that I was busy helping plan Bianca's wedding. Spending time with them and deciding on caterers, venues etc. helped me not think all the time about how much I missed Brian.
But I kept having the same terrible dream. It was flat on my back in pitch darkness and screaming for Brian. I can't move, not even my head. I hear hospital monitors with a heartbeat, ambulance sirens all at the same time. The sound is deafening and then all at one moment there is dead silence. That is when I always wake up, usually crying. I didn’t tell Brian about it. I was sure it was just because we were apart.
When Bianca was busy with her fiancé, Gwyn and I would keep each other company. We went out to eat, watched movies and shared our stories about the last few years. She was even looking for a house in our neighborhood.
"I've decided I need roots again. I am going to buy a house here." She said.
"That's great! Well, you're all set for it. Wane for a realtor and Jay's girlfriend is an Interior Decorator."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jay's girlfriend? You guys hang out?"
"Yea, we all do. Brian and Jay even get together and play."
"How the hell did that happen?"
"Well, it's a long story." For the next hour I told her the whole story. We both laughed about Brian punching me instead of Jay.
"It's great the two of them get along so well. It's not weird for you?"
"They both along with my brother saved my life. I am thankful every day that they do get along." At first Gwyn laughed, then she looked at my face. She knew I wasn't joking.
"You're serious aren't you?" She said.
"Unfortunately yes." I told her the whole story, even about the baby I lost. She was in tears.
"Oh God Penny, I never realized what you had been through. She gave me a big hug."
"I forgot how easy it is to talk to you Gwyn. I trust you and I always know you will keep things private."
"I can't wait to meet Brian he sounds like a great guy. From what I have read and seen, he seems a little different than you describe him."
"You could have met him, if you had made it to my wedding."
"Low blow! You know I would have been there if I could have."
"Well now you're going to have to wait. We are spending Thanksgiving in California and then back out on the road until a week and a half before Christmas. We will be back for the twins first Christmas and you two can finally meet. Damn, I miss him so much."
"Then why the hell are you here? We've pretty much got everything set for now. I'm sure Bianca will agree with me, go be with your husband."
"I don't know, someone would have to go with me to the airport and then he or someone else would have to pick me up from the airport and it would be next to impossible to find a Non-Stop flight leaving soon."
"Really Penny! Really? The man risked his life for you without a moment of hesitation and you can't walk through an airport for him?"
"Wow Gwyn, that was brutal." She caught me off guard. "I just told you what happened."
"I'm sorry, it was wrong of me to say that. What I should have said is put on your big girl panties and get on a fucking plane!"
I couldn't even speak. I think only a squeak came out.
"Look Penny, you need to overcome this. Not for Brian, not for anyone but yourself. I may not be as old as you but I've seen a lot and studied human behavior for my writing. I also know you, there is no way it isn't bothering you."
"I don't know Gwyn..." She was right, it did bother me that I had lost that independence.
"What you need is a mantra."
"You mean a hokey statement I keep telling myself?"
"It doesn't have to be a statement, just something that inspires and empowers you. How about a song you like? You do still listen to more than just Avenged Sevenfold?"
"Of course, don't be a punk."
"What about that song from the musical Wicked? If I remember correctly, you even had a shirt with it on it."
"Defying Gravity? I don't think that one will work. There is one Halestorm song that I like, I actually haven't heard it in a while. It might be good." I looked up the song on my phone and we listened to it. The first verse really sealed the deal.

Am I brave enough?
Am I strong enough?
To follow the desire
That burns from within
To push away my fear
To stand where I'm afraid
I am through with this
'Cause I am more than this
I promise to myself
Alone and no one else
My flame is rising higher
"I remember that one, I think it's perfect. But it has to be the perfect song to you." She said.
"We have a winner, I am the fire it is!"
"You already have the song on your phone, grab a pair of earbuds and every time you get anxious or nervous on the way, listen to it. If you have to, just keep listening to it the whole way there."
"Why did I pay all that money for therapy? I should have just called you." I hugged her. "Thank you."
"You don't have to thank me. Do you remember how many times you pushed me to do more, overcome my fears? I probably wouldn't be a successful writer now, if it weren't for you. Now let's get a flight booked and get you packed."

Notes