There Is No Me Without You

"Wake up Winnie, last day of school and then we have a lot of packing to do!" My mums voice went through me, it was too early for this and to make it worse it looked horrible outside, typical Scottish weather almost made me glad I was moving to America. As I scrapped myself out of bed I could feel the dread set in, I had to say my goodbyes to my friends today. I say friends like I have hundreds I really haven't, I have like two I'm not very popular at school so the friends I have are loyal and love me for me which makes it harder for me to leave them behind. I looked at my mum and I could tell she was upset to be leaving but considering the circumstances I can understand her pain after all she wasn't the only one feeling like shit. She recently lost her husband, my dad, to cancer. Trust me when i say that it is hard, I had to watch him for 3 solid years struggle with it, getting weaker and weaker with all the chemo he had to go through. It all got to much from my mum when he died a year ago so she finally made a decision to leave. Its a welcoming thought to start fresh see her be happy for a change for us both to be happy, but I had to get today out of the way.

I walked over to my wardrobe and grabbed my comfy jeans and my Nightmare Before Christmas jumper, and headed for a shower. After washing my bits and my bobs I joined my mum for breakfast, she was being unnervingly quite scrapping at her eggs "what's wrong mum?" she picked her head up ad gave me a smile "nothing Gemma hen, just thinking is all" I just nodded knowing full well something was on her mind but not to push at the matter, today was going to be hard for her as well as me. I finished my breakfast and headed out the door for school, plugging my head phones into my ears I listened to Nirvana whilst visualising myself singing in front of thousands on stage just like Kurt Cobain did, this tends to pass my time on the journey to school pity help anyone that sees me, head banging and all sorts. I finally made it to school, where I met my two best friends Charley and Jason two people i have the utmost respect for, people that would help me through anything life threw at me and never judge me, the two of them single handedly got me through my dads passing and now I had to leave them. "Hey Gem, you ok?" Jason asked as i pulled the head phones from my ears and wrapped them around my phone, I nodded "yeah just dreading it today, I don't want to leave you guys!" I moaned, they both knew for a while i was leaving it wasn't like i just sprung it on them gave us all time to come to terms with it. Jason rolled his eyes and pulled me in for a sideways cuddle "look everything will be alright, you will go to America and find amazing friends that will love you just the way me and Charley do, ain't that right Char?" we both looked to the left of us and there was Charley bawling her eyes out tears streaming down her face I frowned and grabbed her into a hug "no, stop it I'm not crying! it's just dust!" she said trying to defend herself I chuckled "must be some amount of dust out here in the fresh air for you to cry that much!" she shook her head "ok I'm crying but I can't help I know I said I won't but I will miss you" she bubbled, I squeezed her tighter "it's ok I will call you everyday, will keep you and Jason posted on everything. I will even make sure you get to have an amazing holiday to Cally for your summer! I promise now stop your bubbling and lets get out of here!" She pulled back a bit and grinned "now that's what I'm talking about! Lets go to the hot water pond!" and with that she was off, I shook my head along side Jason "take care of her Jason" I warned him, he put his arm around my shoulder and squeezed a little "Until death, I promise" I looked at him and smiled he meant it too, he always had a thing for Charly just wasn't brave enough to say.

We spent all day together down at the hot water pond laughing, joking, reminiscing of when we all first met. It was a great end to a perfect friendship, of course I meant what I said to Charley I would keep them both posted on everything but it was time to face the fact that I wasn't going to be here for them any more it was just the two of them whilst I left for America. "I will miss you guys." I said as i got up and looked at my watch 15:35pm I had to go home and pack the last of my things before leaving for the airport at 5. "do you have to go now" Jason asked as he Charley stood up from the rock we were sat at, I nodded and put my head down I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes. "We will miss you to Winnie, do you want us to walk you home?" I shook my head no "Its ok, I think if you walked me home it would make it harder" they both nodded I could see Jasons bottom lip quiver and decided that enough was enough, I walked over and grabbed both of them into a hug "look after each other, I will call as soon as I have landed! I love you both" and with that I walked away not being able to say anything else as I left what meant the most to me behind. It couldn't get any worse then this.

As I got home and packed the little things I had out from my shower this morning I looked around my room one last time, this was it. I was leaving and I didnt know if I'd be back again, it was scary yet welcoming to say the least. I walked into the living room where my mum sat looking around the empty room, "well Gemma, Its time to go" I nodded and picked up the suitcases that lay on the ground outside into the car where the rest were. As we got into the car and strapped ourselves in my mum took my hand and squeezed it gently "I love you Gemma, this is our new start. Lets go and enjoy it." she said with a confident smile one that I hadn't seen in a long time, it was then I realised that this was a great day. New start. New life. New Adventure.

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