MATT'S POV

The morning came and went. Val remained gone, and as much as I wanted to take my words back, I didn't, and I know I couldn't. If even possible, I was in fact more convinced that I had done the right thing. I didn't sleep.

Every now and then, my hand automatically traveled to where she normally lay, only to, once again, discover cold and uninhabited territory. The bed was far too big for me alone. Eventually, I got up and wrote some lyrics for a song I called 4am (Even though it was about half past five.)

There comes a day when we all find out for ourselves
that once we have the words to say
there's no-one left to tell.
I know why I'm running away
It's four in the morning
you got one more chance to lie
Like beautiful stories, our greatest chapters flew right by

I found those lines beautiful and poetic and when I'd written them, I'd just stared at them for minutes, hoping they would vanish. Maybe I'd make a real song out of it, change the lyrics a little since I didn't think I could sing those without completely losing it.

I cried a lot. Whenever I passed a picture of her or just anything that remotely reminded me of her I felt the tears burn in my eyes, and there was nothing I could do to make them stop from running down my cheeks. I didn't want to speak to anyone of my friends. I didn't want to talk about it, to be reminded of my failure. Even though deep down I knew it wasn't my fault, I kept blaming myself.

I didn't eat, just walked around the house like a zombie. At five in the afternoon, I finally found the strength to call someone. Who would I call, though?
Brian? He'd just tell me to get back with her because he thought she was hot and had a nice twin sister. Zack? He'd just whine about his own problems with Gena.
Jimmy? Oh no, forget about it. Cat? God, I didn't want to face her after what I thought about her yesterday. Johnny. Yeah, Johnny. Damn, how low did I have to go to seriously think about calling short shit....

I dialed his number a couple of times before finally letting it ring. "Hello?" Alone the sound of his voice made me wince. "Sanders, you there?" I took a deep breath. "Johnny listen, I need you to cancel every arrangement for the wedding. Disinvite the guests. Cancel the honeymoon trip. Contact the wedding planner. Please, Johnny."

Johnny didn't say anything for ten full seconds. Please midget man, don't disappoint me. "Can you send me all the documents on my private email?" he asked. His voice sounded surprised, but that wasn't really something new. Good boy. That I like. "Yeah what's your private email?" "You know, dwarfberger at midgetmail dot com." I forced a laughter, but a dash of it was real.

Did he really just succeed in cheering me up for a sec? "No seriously Matt, that's my new private email. Anything else?" I grinned a little. Johnny the dwarfberger never got old. "Tell the others, but I don't want to see anyone for a while. No calls either. Just some alone time to wrap my head around things," I replied.

"Sure Matt, will do. Take care man. I'll call you if there are any problems. If you don't hear from me, everything is fine," Johnny said and I felt relieved. I couldn't handle all those things on my own at the moment. I just couldn't.

I quickly got on my laptop. I needed to get it out of my system, out of my way. I sent Gnomeo Midgetague the guest list, Melissa's number, and our travel documents. I felt my eyes water again as I hit send.


The day I asked Val to be my wife was a beautiful day last fall when everything was alright. First, we took a long walk through the orange and red colored forest nearby. We admired the Indian Summer and the pretty leaves and occasionally stopped to kiss.

In the meanwhile, Bian and Zack entered my house to put the white grand piano onto my porch. When we arrived at home, I asked her to make some hot chocolate and then join me on the porch. I sat down at the piano and waited. Believe me, those minutes of doing nothing were pure torture.

When she came, I started playing Warmness on the Soul. My fingers were trembling and so was my voice. I was used to performing in front of tens of thousands, but in this one moment, I had the jitters like I never had them before. I eventually made it through the song without screwing up and when I turned around, she sat down on my lap and kissed me.

"Baby, that was beautiful. I've always loved that song. What was that for?" she asked softly and ran her fingers through my messy hair. "Because I love you," I said simply. "I love you, too." Her words sounded so sweet. They gave me the final courage to take the very last step.

"One more thing, Val," I said and fumbled with the box in my pocket. It was so hard to get it out with her on my lap. Actually, I'd planned it old style with dropping on my knees and everything, but I felt like it'd be stupid to ask her to get up. "Val," I said and I loved how her eyes shone when she saw the box.

"Valary Dibenedetto," I repeated as I opened it, and then I asked her the question of all questions, "Will you make me the happiest man in the world? Will you marry me?" Her face expressed pure joy. "Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" She screamed, and before I could take the ring she'd already slipped it on herself. "I love you, Matthew Charles Sanders," she said and kissed me deeply until I carried her upstairs.

Now I wonder if it was a lie, if she hadn't better said "M Shadows".


CAT'S POV

The bright light invaded my room from my window. God, why didn't I close the curtains last night? Oh shit, speaking about last night... What the hell happened? I remember Tally and Dan picking me up for Matt's bachelor party. I remember talking to Larry and the Berrys. I remember beating Dipshit McMidget's ass at the shot challenge. But then? Gosh.

A wave of nausea overcome me as I tried to move, so I froze and lied still. After that, did I dance with Matt? Yeah, probably. I remembered him speeding on the highway with me, and then a whole bunch of nothing again. The memory was odd. I was almost sure it didn't belong. Maybe it was a dream after all.

Why was I practically naked in my bed? Oh God, please don't let it be Johnny, I thought as I slowly opened one eye. I then discovered I was alone in my bed. Phew. Thank God. Jimmy, I needed to ask Jimmy what happened. I pulled out my phone to discover Brian, Zack and Jimmy had called me countless times from 3 am on. Well, okay. I texted Jimmy.

Woke up in my underwear but alone lol. Who the fuck brought me home and what the fuck happened between approx. 1 and 4? Man, best party in a while.

I then put my phone aside and drifted back to sleep. When I woke up again, it was almost 3 pm. Jimmy had texted me back, saying Pizza Hut? Pick me up when ur sober, I'm home all day. So, Pizza Hut it was. I quickly showered and got dressed. When I pulled up in Jimmy's driveway, he wasn't standing there like usually. Odd.

I rang his doorbell but he didn't answer, so I tried his phone. Where was he? Panic started to rise. In my mind, I saw Jimmy lying on the floor, eyes rolled. Stabbed by some crazy fan. Died from his enlarged heart. Oh God, his heart. I quickly grabbed my keys. Which one was his again? I tried two and the third one fit.

As soon as I opened the door I heard heavenly sounds coming from the piano in his living room, which was more of a music room after all. He didn't have a TV or even a sofa, only a big wooden piano, drums, guitars, and a messy table covered with music sheets and sticky notes. I walked closer in awe. There he sat, his back facing me, effortlessly moving his fingers across the keys. After a while, he stopped abruptly.

"Cat, which one sounds better?" he asked, and while I wondered how the hell he could have noticed me, he played two slightly different tunes after another. "The first," I said, still amazed. On the rare occasions when I got to hear him play new stuff, I was swept away. He was one of the most talented people I knew, if not the most talented. "Okay," he said with a broad grin as he got up, "so I'll stick with the second."


Twenty minutes later, we were sitting in said fast food restaurant and Jimmy started talking, "So, YOU. And MATT. Practically glued to each other. You danced, man I thought he'd lay you right on the dance floor." Oh shit. Matt? Who has a fucking fiancée? My fucking ex? Oh no, it couldn't be.

"Jimmy," I asked, afraid of the answer, "Did we leave together?" "I'm afraid yes. Zack drove you guys to Matt's. So, you woke up in your underwear? Guess Val wasn't home or what?" Oh no, it couldn't be. I couldn't have slept with Matt. Please, not Matt. But wait... "Jimmy, I woke up in my OWN house. And I have this weird memory of Matt going 120 on the highway," I said.

"Oh, okay. Well he kept saying he needed to drive, maybe that's what you did. And then you probably went to yours and, you know, did it. And then he went home I guess...," replied Jimmy with a pitiful look. "Oh shit, fucking...," I started to curse and Jimmy nodded, "yeah, you can say that again." I cradled my head in my hands and focused on breathing.

"Cat, let's just hope Val never finds out. No-one knows except for both of you. And well, me of course. But that kinda goes without saying. I mean, what you know, I know, right? But I'll take it to the grave, believe me. And see, you don't even know it for sure anyway. And neither do I.

"Just... believe it didn't happen. That's gonna make it easier. And it's not like it's going to have any consequences. I mean, Val hooked up with me, Matt hooked up with you. Now they're even, he's at peace with it all and they can get married and have little dimpled kids and live happily ever after and shit," Jimmy tried to calm me down.

And hey, maybe he was right. I mean, there were absolutely no feelings involved. I'm not even sure I ever had real feelings for him. I guessed I did, but I liked to tell myself that I didn't.
But then, Jimmy's phone rang and pulled me out of my trance.

El Asshat De Minión his display spelled. Nice one, Sullivan, haven't heard that one before. "Pickle dick?" Jimmy asked into the phone. I watched his grin subside all at once. "What? Man that can't be true..."

And even though I didn't hear Johnny, I know something terrible, something life-changing must have happened. "What, why?" Jimmy swallowed. "Okay. Yeah I'm with Cat, you don't need to call her. Okay. Bye." He shook his head as he ended the phone call.

"Cat? The wedding's off."

Notes

Uh-oh... Matt's depressed and Cat thinks she's the reason why. Will she find out they didn't sleep with each other that night? Or did they, after all?