MATT'S POV

I didn't know where she went. Nervously, I paced the hallways like a tiger in his cage. Her words were the only things I could think about. Betrayal. Betrayalbetrayalbetrayalbetrayal. A week from now we'd be halfway through the ceremony. How did they call it again? Infidelity. Adultery. Adulteryadulteryadulteryadultery. What a fucking stupid word. Sounds like being an adult was a crime. Escapade. Side leap. Euphemisms for the worst thing a human can do to another.

I worked out until I was drenched in sweat and completely maxed out, only to realize twenty minutes had barely passed. By now, three quarters would be over next week. The important part. I closed my eyes and imagined the preacher asking us the question of all questions. It was like a vivid dream.

Me standing there, right next to Jimmy, my best man, waiting for Val to enter. And God, she was beautiful. Her blond hair, her pretty dark brown eyes, her beautiful dress that clung in all the right places. She placed the veil over her head and lifted it again. Suddenly, her hair was brown and her eyes were darker, her expression angry. What was wrong? The orchestra started playing Unholy Confessions. My palms started to get sweaty. What was up now? Did we plan it that way?

Then, finally, the preacher turned around, only for me to discover it was Zacky. His eyes were smeared with red make up like in one of our music videos. He gave us a devious, toothless smile and then asked, "Do you take this man in death for the rest of your unnatural life?" And as Val answered, I wondered if she'd made these arrangements when I was not paying attention.

But I didn't care, we'd be married in mere seconds. When Zacky asked me the same, I gladly opened my mouth to reply, but the words wouldn't come out. Instead, I heard Jimmy answer. Val grinned and they ran outside, and Jimmy let out a long "fuck youuuuu!" just like in our new song Critical Acclaim. It was only then that I realized all of the people in the church pews were fire ants.

I screamed and that broke the trance. Suddenly, I wasn't in the church anymore, but in my own bed. By now, the ritual would be over.


I went into my music room with the soundproof walls and screamed until my lungs felt dry. Nothing seemed to help, seemed to soothe my pain. I knew I'd get over it with time, forgive her after a while. But could I trust her after what I heard? Was Jimmy the only one she'd ... betrayed me with? I mean, if she did it with my best friend and not consider it necessary to at least tell me, how could I be sure she wouldn't also take a complete stranger? In the past or in the future? Where was she?

Jealousy is an ugly feeling. It eats us up alive, slowly, painfully from the inside. It makes places like your own bed suddenly turn to hell at four am. It makes you worry about things you usually don't even think about, like the whereabouts of your significant other at nine pm. Wait? Was it really that late? I checked my watch. It was. My first thought was, How did it get so late? But it was immediately followed by, Where was she the whole time?

I felt so angry. The little green demon rose inside me and I had to restrain myself from hitting a hole into the wall.

I had to drive. I knew I had to just get onto the highway and push the gas pedal down on the floor. My rage was dangerous, but so were my ways of coping with it. See, I didn't get angered easily, but when I did it took me the hardest time to get rid of it. And since it wasn't long until it needed to be gone, I figured I might as well start now.

I had to drink, I had to drive. Combined worked the best. Hey, don't be shocked, I told you it was dangerous. I had to smoke. Cigarettes would do, don't worry. I wasn't going to drive high and drunk. And I needed to get laid, and since I wasn't planning on cheating like Val did, this would have to wait until most of the anger subsided.

Gah, stupid bachelor party. I was supposed to be ecstatic, and to pretend I was ready to lose my life as a single person, but today, I'd have to use the opportunity to wrap my head around the idea of getting married in a week. To someone I thought I knew, only to discover I hadn't figured her out at all. To a stranger. Damn you, Shadows, you're overdramatizing. But yeah, Sunday was coming dreadfully near.

I quickly dressed myself in a button-down shirt and black jeans. I didn't know what my boys had planned, so to be prepared for everything I threw a suit coat and a tie into a duffel bag, as well as a cap and a sleeveless rocker t-shirt. I knew could leave it in the car. After mere minutes, I heard a honk outside and saw Zacky's car pulled up in our driveway. I forced myself to grin as I entered. My five guys were in it.

Jimmy sat next to me and handed me a beer, all while bouncing up and down like a maniac. Seriously, how could I be mad at him? He was my best friend. He wanted what was best for me. Before I could even finish my second beer, we pulled up in the front of San Dominique, LA's hottest celebrity club at the moment. Clubbing it is, I thought to myself.

I was pleased with my shirt and jeans as I noticed Zack, Johnny and Syn wore something alike, and even Jimmy had put on a black shirt. Ironed. I grinned at the imagination of him standing in front of Cat's house five minutes prior to the departure, begging her to iron the thing.

When we entered the club, I saw it had been reserved for me. There were so many of my guy friends, including the guys from Good Charlotte, Hell or Highwater, My Chemical Romance and a couple of other bands we were close with. I spotted Tally Wood, Dan the Body, the Berry brothers, hell even Larry, our manager, was here. Maybe the night wouldn't be as bad after all.


CAITLIN'S POV

"Caitlin, are you awake?" My mom's voice woke me up after my long night with Jimbo. "What time is it?" I mumbled, still drunk of sleep. "It's twelve-thirty. You asked me to wake you up at that time. When did you get home?" Mom asked softly and sat down on my bed. "Seven," I mumbled and popped one eye open, then the other one.

Her light brown mid-length hair was carefully braided and pinned up, her slightly curly bangs and a few strands hanging down, nicely framing her heart-shaped face. She wore a casual dress and had put on make-up, so I knew something was up. It was Sunday, our lazy day. Normally we'd just hang around in our pajamas the whole day.

"So what's up with this?" I grinned and pointed at her. "Bebé," she said, putting a special emphasis on the French word. Yes mom, we all know you're from Quebec. "Vlad is coming for lunch. Get dressed, he should be here in half an hour. Besides, your friend Brian called and said he'd pick you up at three. Do you want coffee now?"

Gah. The perfect fiancé's coming. Another long episode of "My sisters' perfect lives and me: the good-for-nothing." "Yeah please, mom." I said absentmindedly as I played with the thoughts of inviting Jimmy so a) I could shock Vlad and my sisters with my crazy rock star "boyfriend" and b) we could make fun of them afterward. Oh yeah, great idea. I went outside of my room in the attic and bent over the rail.

"Mom can Jimmy come?" I screamed, but she didn't answer. I couldn't see her anywhere either. My room was the best place in the whole house, since it was the only small thing on the second floor and you could see the big open living/dining room. "Of course honey," Mom said as she entered my room with a big cup of coffee, "Do you want Dad to go pick him up?"
What? Where did you come from? I KNEW IT, I KNEW YOU ARE INVISIBLE MOM! DON'T MESS WITH ME! "Uhm sure," I replied, putting on my wide white t-shirt that spelled "Why Disneyland when you have Amsterdam?" and black shorts. It was supposed to hit the 90s again that day.


When I heard a deafening ninja-cry from downstairs I knew Jimmy was there. With him by my side I felt less alone in the middle of my family. I mean, my parents were great understanding people and I knew they were as proud of me as of both my sisters, but said sisters had this way of looking down at me that made me really uncomfortable. So I went with the shocking.

"Stalin is hereeee," Jimmy screamed as he ran up the stairs to my room. Oh damn, Vlad is already here? I quickly gulped down my cold coffee, gave Jimmy a quick hug and then ran downstairs.

Vladimir Koslovsky was a bald, bearded gentleman around forty who obviously liked to brag with his fortune. He wore a beige Armani suit and sunglasses that screamed "We're expensive!" from afar. But what really stunned me was that he wasn't alone. A little blond girl with the bluest eyes in the history of man was standing next to him.

"Chello," he greeted my parents coolly, a thick accent like I expected. "Vodka!" Jimmy exclaimed and nodded knowingly. My sister looked at him like he was an alien. "James Sullivan, pleased to make your aquaintance," he bowed down overpolitely before reaching out to the little girls hand. She didn't hesitate a second to hand it to him, and giggled when he kissed it. "Thas Svetlana, my daughter from first marriage," Vlad explained before greeting all of us in a very friendly way. I heard my mom whisper, "That Jimmy, he always knows how to loosen up the tension." I wasn't the only happy to have him.

After lunch, we were picked up by Zack and Brian. Svetlana wanted to come with us, so we took her. Well, you try going into a liquor store with a five year old girl in America, I dare you. We bought everything we needed, Svety - as we called her - either on Zack's or on Jimmy's shoulders, and then brought it to the place we rented for Matt's bachelor party.

After that, they dropped me and Svety off at my house and drove on since they had "guy stuff" to do. I was pretty sure they'd hire a bunch of fans as strippers. Luckily, the "Greatest Sisters Show" was already over when we arrived and both my sisters and Vlad quickly hit the road since they had long drives in front of them and they needed to be home by Monday.

I took a nice, long nap and then showered, getting myself ready for the party. I put on a short and sexy backless black dress that only started inches above my ass and showed off my sunkissed skin in the back as well as my cleavage. High heels, a thick red collier and some red lipstick to complete the look. As I threw myself one last look in the mirror, I heard the doorbell ring. Was my ride early? But when I opened the door, I saw a hysterical and shirtless Jimmy. "Help," he cried, "iron my shirt!"


I grinned and ironed his black shirt before Dan and Tally picked me up. Jimmy called the A-guys and asked them to get him at my place, too. When Tally pulled up in my driveway a little after Jimmy was picked up, he braked so hard his tires squealed. I got outside and saw green. "Tally Wally, long time no see," I grinned as I approached him and when he hugged me, I ran my fingers through his green hair. "If I were you, I'd sue that hairdresser," I chuckled and he pretended to pout.

Dan the body got out of the car to greet me as well. I never understood how someone could be even more built than Matt. I mean, Matt was extreme, but boy, Dan was huge. "Hey fatty," I grinned and he lifted me up like Matt normally did. Tally started the engine and let the wheels spin before finally heading to the LA club. Just when I had my sixth margarita and a nice buzz going on, I heard the people grow silent.


"There he comes," Tally's finger pointed at the door. Syn grabbed a microphone and announced Matt's arrival. "Lady, and yes I feel bad calling you a lady Cat but whatever, lady and gentlemen! Here he comes, the singer of the year, A7X employée of the month, well, second after me of course," he paused. Laughter.

"The man of the day, sexy beast of the hour, the incurable M Shadows aka Matt Horsecock Sanders!" God, Brian was so drunk already. And then Matt entered, and man, did he look good.

Notes

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