CAITLIN'S POV

Jimmy was jumping up and down excitedly when I pulled up in his driveway. The route was new to me. He never stayed in one place for too long. Ever since I had my driving license, I had picked him up from three different apartments and, of course, the laundromat. But now he had a real house and as far as I knew, he was determined to stay there.

It was way past midnight, and I had spent the evening with my family. My sisters had come home, too, which meant a lot to my parents.
Evelyn, who just turned 32, lived in Oregon with her husband. She had a 4 year old daughter named Claire and a 2 year old son, James. Yes, she named it after the strange guy who used to join us for breakfast, and who was sitting in my car right now. She was heavily pregnant with baby number 3.

The sandwich sister, Kara, was facing her 28th birthday. She lived in Phoenix and worked for a big company. At dinner, she had announced her engagement to her long term boyfriend Vlad, the company's CEO. Needless to say, everyone was very pleased about the news. It was something about my sisters, who always excelled and never failed, that sometimes made me feel inferior.

Having barely made it to graduation with about a total of two weeks without detention, the studies were hard for me. And while my sisters were getting married to millionaires or having one cute baby after another, I wasn't even finished with college. But hey, I grinned to myself, they haven't been requested by porn magazines, either.

After the Beast and the Harlot video, I'd received many requests for magazines, pornos and the likes, and I had accepted a few offers. No pornos, no playboy of course. The "worst" I did was starring in a bunch of underwear commercials - underwear, not lingerie. I wasn't really "famous", and I had no intentions to be. After all, I was too small to be a model anyway. Plus, my collarbones were to thick.

"CAT!" I bet Jimmy's excited howl woke up the whole neighborhood. It definitely shoved away my sad thoughts. He jumped into the passenger seat. "Shhhh," I laughed as he leaned over to peck my forehead.

I looked at him in silence. His jet black hair was messy, he hadn't bothered to style it. His piercing reflected the moonlight, giving it a glow-in-the-dark appearance. Even though it was the middle of the night, he was wearing shades. I chuckled to myself as he excitedly put in his CD while I started the engine. Jimmy was my person. He had always been my person.

"Drive oooon," he growled and then broke out in maniacal laughter. I carefully steered the car through the quiet streets with all our windows open and Barbie Girl by Aqua blasting in full volume. "Come on barbie, let's go party," Jimmy screamed and sang. He was so funny. Five minutes with Jimmy were my patent remedy for almost everything.

"I'll ask the band to play that at Matt's wedding," he announced, bouncing up and down on his seat. I laughed. The song was so stupid, yet it was one of his favorites. Jimmy and I had always been the wedding partners-in-crime.

We went there together, though it was never a date, got drunk and danced together. Jimmy was a great dancer - of course he was, he was a drummer, after all - and we made fun of the other couples and tried to "accidentally" bounce into them as often as possible.
An evening that made you laugh so hard your eyes tear was programmed. I remembered Sophia and Taylor Pattigan's wedding, where they had us thrown out after a couple of hours. Rumor had it that the party was totally boring after that, but what do we know...


"Yesss, beach," Jimmy cried out as we finally reached our destination. See, Jimmy loved the beach, swimming and the likes, but he hated the sun. He hated being approached by fans, too. He was a creature of the night, at least that was what he called himself. We walked the short distance to the beach, spread out our towels and lied down.

"Skinny dipping?" I asked, and in the pale moonlight I saw him nod. "Skinny dipping it is." We ran into the cold water, splashed each other, swam, dove and had a blast. I was never uncomfortable with being naked in front of Jimmy. He wasn't the kind of person to take advantage or anything. Sometimes I felt like he didn't even look. Even if he did it didn't make me uncomfortable. He didn't look at me like a sexual object. We knew each other too well to be more than friends.

We got out of the water after what felt like hours of joy and got dressed again. We emptied a couple of beers, smoked a bunch of fags and some Mary Jane and joked around until the sun came up again. Then, side by side, we sat in awe, unable to breathe, and Jimmy said what he always said, "Cat, isn't that the most beautiful sunrise you've ever seen? And Cat, aren't you the best girl friend I ever had?"

We hugged and then, as the first earlybirds started filling the beach, we headed back home again.


MATT'S POV

I wasn't been able to talk to her yesterday. No matter how much I tried, the words just wouldn't come out. I knew what to say, knew how to say it, I just couldn't. When she asked me to come to bed I told her I had to finish a song. I lied, but I think she knew that at the time.

I waited for another hour to make sure she would be asleep when I joined her in bed. I couldn't face her snuggling close or even trying to make me horny. Not tonight. Although I wasn't someone who drank alone, I emptied two cans of beer that we still had from our last barbecue party.

Otherwise, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. I kept thinking about her, approaching Jimmy, asking him to sleep with her. I knew Jimmy wasn't quite himself at WARPED, he wasn't the one to blame. It was the time when he would try all kinds of fancy drugs and mix them to get to what he called the "ultimate state of mind". We were so torn between worrying and trying to reason with him and joining him and his dangerous experiments.

At WARPED, I tried LSD for the first and only time. It was horrible and I wanted to die just to make the trip stop. The guys liked it. Brian and Cat eventually tried coke, shrooms, and a bunch of pills, too.


When I came back to the bus after Val and I had this stupid fight about her being so jealous of fans, I saw Cat sitting on the floor. She'd come to visit with Val and Val's sister Michelle in the afternoon. "Cat?" I asked, tears running down my face.

Actually, I was happy to see her, wanted her to comfort me. But I found it kind of strange that she wasn't out and about like the others, too. "Cat?" I repeated, this time louder. The only thing that escaped her lips was a weak grunt. I finally reached where she was sitting. Through the blur of tears, I didn't see anything out of the ordinary at first.

But when I sat down next to her, I noticed that her eyes were wide open with shock and her pale lips were moving, mouthing words I couldn't make out. "Cat," I screamed in panic and took her hand. It was ice cold. I felt the fear rising as I shook her. "Help," emerged from her lips, and that was all that it took.

I immediately dragged her out of the bus, shoved my fingers deep down her throat, and made her throw up. Good thing I knew Jimmy took pills at that time, so at least where they came in, they would come out again. I spent the rest of my evening in a thorny bush, my hand and even shirt covered in puke, sobbing and telling passed out but stable Cat things she wouldn't remember.

It was the last time Jimmy ever shared his stuff, and some weeks later, he stopped taking it himself.


Now I know, I thought bitterly. While I saved his best friend's life (that he endangered) he fucked my girlfriend. Strangely, I wasn't mad at Jimmy. He was my fucking best friend, he was drugged and it wasn't really his fault that Cat joined him. Still, the thought made me uneasy. I took a deep breath before deciding to go to bed. I would confront Val the next day.

I spent the night tossing and turning. It was so strange lying next to her, yet not cuddling close to her like usually. You get so used to having someone close, holding them, having them in your life. You start thinking for two people instead for one. Two become one. You forget who you were without them. I had so many thoughts shooting through my head, keeping me awake that night. When I opened my eyes the next morning, I felt like I had slept for mere minutes.


"Val," I said with a forced smile as we were sitting at the breakfast table. She narrowed her beautiful brown eyes at me, expecting a random question. "I need to ask you something, and I need you to tell me the truth." Immediately, her smile began to drop, but once I had started this conversation, I knew I had to finish. I couldn't make peace with the situation if I didn't know what happened.

"Val, did you ever cheat on me? With Jimmy?" I asked, and I immediately knew the truth from her reaction. "Baby, I...," she began and I harshly said, "If there's anything you wanna tell me about it, do it now." She looked at the floor as she spoke, "I believe you already know it, since you ask. Yes, there was this one time. At WARPED. Don't blame Jimmy, it was my fault. We fought, Matt, and I was so blinded, I thought you were gonna fuck that fan. I saw her kiss you and you didn't even push her away...,"

"Damn, Val," I cut her off, "I told you I was just surprised. I pushed her away after a second. You even heard me tell her I had a girlfriend!" "I know, I know," she tried to allay, "you're the perfect guy who'd never cheat. And I'm just... flawed. So we fought and I was so angry 'cause I thought you'd go meet her. I mean she told she'd wait in case you changed your mind.

"And then I met Jimmy and Cat in the bus, and they were both just so out of it, and Jimmy asked me what was wrong and I kind of just convinced him to come with me. He didn't wanna do it, Matt. He said you'd be mad and you were his best friend. But I kept telling him you'd never know." "Val, I said coldly, "I'd rather you go now."


Even if you know what's coming, you're never prepared for what it feels like. The best way to describe my feelings would be as if thousands of ants were released under my skin, crawling through my veins, and slowly reaching under my ribcage. They stung my heart and filled it with a paralyzing, numbing poison. I didn't feel a thing, yet everything at all.

It was a lie, it had to be. They'd jump out and laugh at me any second, I kept telling myself.

Except they didn't.

Notes

Sooo here we are guys :) While Cat is spending some quality time with he best friend, Matt finally works up the courage to ask Val about her side leap. In addition, we get some more information about their past.

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