CAT'S POV

Lizzie was a fan, nothing more. Her brother was Jimmy's surgeon, and he told her about Jimmy's problem, and also that she would be a suitable donor. In a heartbeat, she decided to give him a kidney.

I watched her closely as she talked. She was something, definitely. Even in the hospital gown, she managed not to look pale. She looked like she had some little Hispanic or Native American parts in her. Her dark auburn red hair was wavy and she had a little silver nose stud. Her eyes, though, were her most outstanding feature. They were dark blue, almost purple. She made small gestures as she spoke, explaining us how she got to know the band and that she felt honored to help Jimmy.

The surgery was scheduled for the early morning of the following day. She seemed very nice. For the kidney, she didn't demand a thing but for Jimmy to give her five lessons on the drums as soon as he was alright. She seemed nice enough, so we just drove home satisfied and hoped she wouldn't back out.

We drove to my house in silence. There clearly was something bugging Matt, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to ask him about it. There was an awkward tension between us, and unfortunately I was pretty sure that, if we did talk, it would get worse. After all, I didn't know what I wanted and I knew he did. So I planned on avoiding him and the pressuring question as to what this between us was until I knew.

But Matt didn't make it that easy. He took a deep breath. "Listen, Cat," he began, "I know we kinda, uhm, didn't finish talking earlier, and I just wanted to ask if you, uh, wanted to." Well, do I? Actually, everything is said, right? He's still interested, hell, a lot more than that, but he wanted to give me some time to myself. And maybe some time to figure out what I want ...

"I don't know," I finally replied, "I don't know what I feel for you." His concentrated expression didn't change, yet I knew it hurt him. But I had to let him know, so he wouldn't get his hopes up. "It's okay. I'll wait until you know. It's not like those feelings are going away anytime soon."

Him talking about his feelings towards me still made my insides twist. He was so sweet. How could a man like him love a woman like me? Before I could think of anything to say, I heard myself talking anyway. It felt like everything was on autopilot. "But I do want you to know that I care about you. That you make me feel safe, secured. That you're pretty much the only thing that keeps me from breaking down right now." Damn, where did that come from? Why did I just say that? But come to think of it, it's actually true ...

"It's alright, Cat. You got all the time in the world." And with that, he pulled up in my driveway. My parents' car was gone, so I figured they were probably out. Tomorrow morning my Dad would head to SF for a business meeting. My mom was still playing with the thought of coming along to meet up with her sister-in-law, but she didn't want to leave me alone anyway. Though, I personally wanted some space anyway, so I'd urged her to go.

Suddenly, the thought of returning to this cold and empty house alone made me sad. I wanted company. I didn't want anyone, actually. I wanted Matt. "Matt?" He looked at me with the softest expression. "Can you stay over? I don't want to be alone tonight." He shot me a dimpled smile. "Why don't we head to my place?" he offered, "So I could give the birthday girl her present, which I wrapped MYSELF." God, come on. Don't make such a fuzz out of my fucking birthday ... But somehow, it's kind of sweet, too ...

I agreed and Matt drove me to his house. Inside, I saw he'd removed all the pictures with Val, and all her stuff was gone. The house seemed almost too big and too empty without all her shit. In fact, it didn't even seem like the same house anymore.

Matt smiled at me as he led me to the living room and placed me onto his creme colored, jumbo sized couch. It looked surprisingly naked without all the cushions. Guess Val took everything she possibly could, I chuckled to myself. "One second," Matt smirked as he stood up, "I'm getting your present."


MATT'S POV

She thought I didn't catch her staring at it in a window at the Dubai airport, but I did. So when she didn't look, I went to buy it and had it sent to my place. I knew the golf set would make her really happy, since she loved to play and her old clubs were a little too short for her anyway.

That was no wonder, seeing as she'd had the same ever since age 14 when she started playing in Canada. I'd even wrapped it in a shit load of paper since we fought that one birthday we were together when she said I wasn't making enough effort for her. I mean, I was just this 18 year old guy, what did she expect? Anyway, this time I tried.

I carried the thing into the living room. "There you go," I grinned as I watched her pretty face lighten up. "But ... It's so big," she exclaimed and I joked, "that's what she said when she first saw my dick!" She laughed. It was one of those real, throw-back-your-head kind of laughs, not a fake one.

And God, was she beautiful when she laughed.

"Oh my God, Matt! It's the golf bag! And ... and the new Callaway golf set ... Holy ... I don't know what to say ... I'm ... I'm overwhelmed," she gasped. My heart danced when I saw how happy I made her with that simple gesture. Of course it wasn't exactly cheap, but hey: It was the cheapest birthday present I'd given a girl in a while...

I grinned. It felt good to make her happy. "Glad you like it." She smiled and leaned over, and when she kissed me, I couldn't help thinking that this was the first time she didn't just go with it but actually actively kissed me. It was wonderful, really. After all this time it still felt like coming home, like it always did, right from high school on.

I made my famous Chinese stir fried rice and even though it was three in the morning, we moved to the couch and started watching the Simpsons. After all, our inner clocks were fucked up from the jetlag anyway. It felt so natural, so right how she fit perfectly into my arms and when her breathing got steady, I knew she'd fallen asleep.

I simply turned off the TV and scooped her into my arms as I effortlessly carried her upstairs into our, pardon, my guest room, where I placed her onto the bed and joined her immediately. She snuggled closer and I kissed her forehead, wondering if she was awake. It was only then that I realized how tired I actually was, and I fell asleep easily.

We slept long in the morning, too long. When I woke up, my heart jumped at the sight of her sleeping in my arms.

Damn, I could get so used to that ... I hope I'm not getting too attached, I thought, I really do. I should remember that she still doesn't know what it is to her, and maybe this is just screwing around for fun, maybe it's just her healing process... But there is this tiny little flickering light of hope, the quiet voice telling me this could be the start of something beautiful, too.

Notes