Nothing Lasts FoREVer

“Really? Do you mean it? Do you want me to read them for you?”, he asked pleasantly surprised.

“Yeah, I mean it! But I’d rather do it alone, if you don’t mind…”, I knew he would want to be there for me and I could see the hurt in his eyes when I told him that I wanted to do it by my own.

“Are you sure? Wouldn’t it be better if I was there with you?”, he insisted.

“Yeah, baby, I’m sure! That’s something I need to do alone. But I would like you to be there once I finish reading them. I’ll need you to be there to glue all my little pieces back together, I want you to be there to hold me tight when I burst into tears, to fondle my hair while I collapse and find a way to bring me back up once I reach the bottom!”

“Why don’t you want me there through the whole process? Why can’t I be there to dry every single one of your tears, to find a way to prevent you from reaching the bottom? I don’t want to see you collapse, I don’t want to see you miserable, Cat!”, I could hear the helplessness, the frustration in his voice.

“I know, baby! But I need to read them alone… I know you just want to protect me from anything that might be hurtful, but you can’t shelter me from pain! There’s always gonna be something that might hurt me and I need to be able to deal with it by myself! You can be there afterwards; you can comfort me, that’s all I’m asking!”

“I may not be able to shelter you from all the pain, but that’s not going to make me stop trying! I think it would be easier if I was there with you…”, he insisted again.

“It might not be the easier way or even the right way, but it’s my way, honey! I’d love if you could understand and accept that.”, I pleaded.

“I do understand and accept your will, but I don’t agree with it! I’d rather be there…”, he said with a saddened face.

“I love you! Did you know that?”, I twisted a little in his lap so I could kiss him. We kissed passionately, our tongues tangled in each other, dancing at the same rhythm. Nothing else mattered, but the kiss…
I suddenly broke the kiss when I remembered about the lasagna. Jimmy looked at me, his lips swollen from the kiss, confused.

“The lasagna…”, I answered to his questioning glare while I got up from his lap to take the lasagna out of the oven. I grabbed one kitchen towel and used it to take the lasagna out of the oven.

“Smells good!”

“Watch it ‘cause it’s hot! Let it cool off a little…”, I warned him as I placed the plate in front of him. “Beer?”, I asked.

“I’d rather some Coke instead.”, I handed him the soda and sat beside him. He took a piece of the lasagna, blew on it and stuffed it in his mouth.

“Hmmmm! My God! This is delicious! It tastes so fucking good! It’s the best lasagna I’ve eaten in my entire life! If I didn’t love you already, by making me this you’d have won my heart!”, he said with his mouth full.

“I’m glad you like it, babe!”, we kept eating and talking cheerfully with each other.

After we finished our dinner we headed to the living room with our hands intertwined.

“Baby, you’re gonna log in now, right?”, I asked with a wicked smile.

“Yeah! What’s that smile for?”, he asked curious.

“You’re pretty rude to Johnny earlier! I bet he already told the guys what happened.”

“Do I look like I care? I couldn’t care less about what he’s whining about! You haven’t told me yet what was all that with the girls! Girl talk? Why all that rush for a girl talk?”

“I kinda hoped you wouldn’t ask that! You have no idea what those girls wanted to talk about!”

“Sex!”, he laughed.

“How did you know?”, I glared surprised at him.

“We talked about the same! What did they ask?”, he asked curious.

“You talked about the same? What did you talk about exactly?”, I was starting to hyperventilate.

“I asked you first!”, he chuckled.

“Fine! They wanted to know how are you… down there!”, I said blushing, pointing with my chin to little Jimmy.

He bent on his knees laughing. “What did you say? You should see your face right now! You look so innocent!”, he managed to say through all that laughter.

“Is my face that funny? What did you wanted me to say? I said the truth, that it matches your height! Stop laughing at me!”, I sulked, I could feel my face burning.

“I’m sorry, baby! But your face is soo red! Looks like it’s the first time you ever talked about sex! You look like one of those religious prudes, and we both know that you’re no prude… That’s why it’s funny!”, he was still laughing, but not as hard.

“Yeah, yeah! Whatever… Now it’s you turn to tell me! Did they asked something about me?”, I asked nervous.

“Of course they did! We always discuss our sex lives…”, Jimmy noticed my eyes going wider. “There’s no need to be nervous about, babe! I only told them the truth…”, he looked at me but didn’t continue.

“Which is?....”, I insisted.

“That you’re the best I had until now!”, he smiled widely.

“Until now? Are you planning on try some new ones? Did you give them any details?”, I accused.

“I’m more than happy with you now, I don’t even think about other women. Details? Yes, I did… But it’s normal between guys, babe… “, he looked down to the floor, he knew that I’d be upset.

“How am I supposed to look at them now? I didn’t give the girls any detail, even though they asked and shared some of their experiences! I should kill you for embarrassing me like that! I’ll blush like a tomato once I see them again!”, I rubbed one of my cheeks. Jimmy approached me, held my hand in his and leaned in to kiss me. I stubbornly turned my face so he could kiss only my cheek.

“Come on, Cat! Don’t be like that to me… They’re my best friends, I tell them everything and they tell me… It’s not a big deal…”, Jimmy tried to kiss me again and this time I kissed him back. I had planned to make it a soft kiss, but our kisses always ended up leaving us both trying to catch our breaths.

“Go log in…”, I whispered breaking the kiss.

He did as I said resentfully and dragging me behind him by the hand.

“What the fuck was that, Jimmy? You didn’t need to log off like that… Were you teaching Cat how to play the piano?”, Johnny said suggestively as soon as the connection was on.

“I think Jimmy was trying to teach Cat how to play ON the piano!”, Brian implied, causing a laughter burst in the rest of the guys.

“Hey,guys! I’m here too, you know!”, I said.

“Hey, Cat! How was it? Did you hit the right notes?”, Zacky chuckled.

“I always hit the right notes, haven’t you heard that?”, there was no point in being mad, so I just played along.

“So we’ve heard…”, Matt implied with a giggle.

“I’ll let you guys practice! I’ll be in the bedroom, babe… I got some reading to catch up!”, I touched his hand as I passed by him.

“Call me if you need me, okay?”, he squeezed my hand before letting me go.

“Don’t worry, babe…”, I reassured him.

I climbed up the stairs and walked to my room, I didn’t close the door behind me. I reached the shoe box that Jimmy left over his nightstand, leaned my back against the pillows and pulled the box to me. I took a deep breath before I opened it… I had decided I would start by reading first the last ones, those I hadn’t read yet. I picked one of the red envelops, caress my dad’s handwriting with my finger and flipped the envelope so I could get the letter… I unfolded the paper, took a deep breath and started to read.

“October, 15th 2001
Hey, sweet pie :)
You’re never going to guess where I am now…
I’m in Cali, Huntington Beach to be more precise!
Oh, baby, you would love it here… They have amazing beaches here and the people are so nice! Next time, I’ll bring you with me… You really need to get to know this place. I can bet all my money that you would not want to leave if you ever come here.
I’ve been to a concert yesterday night; the band was like nothing I’ve ever seen! You should have seen the way the lead singer was dressed… he had a purple kimono and his fake blonde hair was all spiky, like he had been hit by some lightning (his hair was kind like that cartoons you’re always watching ‘Goku’ or whatever they’re called)! I was positively impressed and guess what? I got to hang with the guys of the band…
They’re called Pinkly Smooth, their lead singer also plays the keyboard, but I honestly think he masters it in the drums. He played the drums after the show, and he is the best I’ve seen in all my life! You’d love him, baby… He is a crazy kid with the most amazing heart and he is too damn funny… His best friend is a nice kid too, and is the best guitarist I’ve seen so far! They’re too damn talented… You would love to meet them.
I’ll be here until the end of the week; hopefully I get to watch a few more bands…
I miss you like crazy.
How’s mom doing? How are you doing?
I know you’re mad at me right now, but I never meant to hurt any of you! It was a stupid mistake, baby! I got drunk and I wasn’t myself when I let that happen. I love Patricia more than anything in the world, I’d give anything to undo what I did with Isabel, but it doesn’t work that way…
Do you think mom will ever be able to forgive me? Will you?
Will you ever hug me again and whisper to my ear “I love you, daddy! You’re my hero” like you used to before I messed things up?
I’m really sorry for what I’ve done, Cat. I hope you can forgive me in the near future, ‘cause it really kills me inside to see the disappointment in your eyes!
I’m not perfect, baby, I’ve never been… but you always looked up to me like I was flawless, like I was the most amazing person that ever stepped foot on Earth, and that used to be the most rewarding feeling for me. I wish someday you can look to me like that again…
I’ll write you again tomorrow…
I love you more than anything in the whole universe, sweetheart.
Take care of mom, will you?
Be good, baby
With all the love that I possess,
Your father and friend
P.S. – I almost forgot! I’ve been writing you a new song… I’ll show it to you when I finish it.
I love you, sweet pie “

Jimmy was by the door when I finished reading the letter. I somehow managed not to cry. I folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. I could feel Jimmy’s gaze on me. I lifted my head up and locked my eyes on his.

“I came to check on you…”, he half smiled.

“I’m okay… Are the guys still online? I have something to share with you all…”, I smiled while I remembered that my father had been one week near where they lived.

“Yeah, they are! But what is it?”, Jimmy asked.

“My dad was in Huntington Beach for a week in October last year.”, I put the envelope back in the shoe box, threw my legs off the bed and walked towards the door. I tipped on my toes once I approached Jimmy, and he leaned a bit to brush his lips on mine softly. I laced my fingers in his and dragged him down the stairs… I could hear voices and instruments on the other side of the line, echoing on my living room.

“Hey, guys!”, I greeted.

“Hey, Cat!”, they all said in unison.

“I got something to ask you guys…”, I started.

“What, honey?”, Johnny said sweetly.

“My dad was in Huntington Beach last October and he watched a band named Pinkly Smooth! He totally loved it and the band members! I was wondering if I ever get the chance to go there, would you guys take to a concert of that Pinkly Smooth band. I’m kind of curious to know those guys! I’ve never read my father so excited about a band…”

Notes