My Fucking Nightmare

The first thing I did when I got back to the hotel was hit the bar. I needed something tall and snarky, like a Burt Reynolds. Stiff and hard to choke down. Mind the bad pun, but if I wasn’t ever going to get laid again I might as well have drowned my efforts in some shitty shot at a beautiful Vegas bar. I hadn’t a clue where Matt ran off to. I’d have assumed he would join me here discreetly and match every shot I took. My next best guess was that he hit the buffet again. It didn’t take much to make him hungry.
All the same, it was relieving to me that I didn’t have to hear anything from his head. Not a single sign of that awful oncoming headache, no mild confusion, nothing. Just peace and quiet in my own mind, and no intent to change that besides slight inebriation. Eventually he joined me on the stool to my left, asking the bartender for a glass of Jack on ice. “Glad that’s over.” He sighed, leaning over the bar to stretch his back. “Think I might play Blackjack the rest of the day. Maybe there’s a pool hall around here somewhere.”
I stayed silent, enjoying his company for the time being, as I’d have to return to my normal life with normal, boring sex. Planning a normal, boring wedding. Brian wasn’t boring, but I wouldn’t dare deny needing some excitement in my life. It just got so repetitive. And now, having to hear about his visit with his family, the people who I hadn’t yet formally met? Not something I was all that excited about, honestly. I didn’t do family that well. Although, you do things for people you love, right?
Matt bought two more shots for us to share. A sour apple for me and another Burt for him. Bitter, nasty flavour. Better than straight Jack, probably. “You okay?” He asked, and I finally found the light in his eyes that Liz made mention of. It was the first time in forever I saw a genuinely happy smile stretch across his face. In person. The weight was lifted, leaving only one thing left for me to do: make a goddamn decision. Matt or Brian? It wouldn’t be easy. And I wasn’t the type of girl to force Brian’s hand with the whole ménage à trois bullshit, not that I wasn’t into it. I mean, goddamn. Two big brutes for the price of one? Yes please.
Still, not within my rights or powers to beg for that sort of stuff in a relationship. As far as Brian was aware, the sex was still okay. Always room for improvement. We just didn’t try new things, is all. It wasn’t bad, just repetitive. So I reiterate, my entire life is repetitive and something needs to change or nothing will work. For my sanity of all things. “Oh, yeah. I’m okay. Just thinking about today is all.”
He grunted and sipped more Jack. “Weight’s been lifted.” We nodded in agreement, exchanging glances of sorry attitudes and disappointment. “Sorry it had to come to this.”
I ordered another sour apple shot and slammed it back, hoping I wouldn’t be tasting it again later in a bathroom stall. “Well, we just make something of it is all. You’re still gonna be the same old Matt. I’m not going anywhere. Worlds collided, but they didn’t end. Fresh start?” I offered my hand.
He took it and kissed the back. “Fresh start.” Finishing the rest of his glass, he slid off the bar stool and headed towards the blackjack table. I watched from a distance for a while, absently thinking of how I was going to spend the rest of my night. I didn’t come to Vegas to get drunk, so instead I paid off my few shots and Matt’s, heading back up to the room. Maybe I’d go shopping. It was still early in the evening after all, allowing the nights adventures to be far from over.
When I got to the room I ordered dinner and a movie. I felt like I needed a good, long, frustrated cry about how pathetic this whole thing was. Although I knew that all the same, it was just as cathartic and relieving to find that Matt wasn’t going to suffer. For the time being I wasn’t sure what this would mean for my relationship with both Brian and Matt, yet I was optimistic. We left Liz’s quite happy and satisfied, so I’d chalk it up to a success on her behalf. Thanks, Liz. If you’re listening.
Once again I put my housecoat on and sat atop the bed covers neatly made by the housekeepers while we were gone. Fresh mints were placed on the pillows, all the spare amenities neatly tucked away or folded. The room even had a fresh tinge of…lavender to it.
Man, I was tired. We walked back from Liz’s shop. Took an hour with all the traffic and sight-seeing. Matt wanted to go to the theme park or walk through some of the casinos, however I was much too tired and hungry. Promised him that tomorrow we’d go back, and he was happier than a pig in shit.
As for the time being, I waited for my food to arrive in ravenous anticipation and picked the perfect movie. Usually I didn’t watch movies without something to focus on in primary. But I was on vacation and didn’t think to bring any reading or writing materials. I mean, it’s Vegas. It’s not like I’d run out of shit to do. I just wasn’t a big gambler and I could drink plenty at home.
Hope Matt was doing okay downstairs. Any time he could come up and we could just be together, hanging out in the room. I could indulge in my less than chaste thoughts and images in the privacy of my own head without his intrusion, and not think twice. I’d never take privacy for granted ever again. Only, the guilt of all those times I’ve subjected him to basically watch live porn between Brian and me. Sad, loveless, boring sex.
Maybe that was what I needed: some good old fashioned porn. This movie wasn’t gonna get any better, so why not indulge in that too? Hell, why stop there? I was free for the weekend. Matt didn’t have a room key. I was already naked. And I hadn’t done anything for myself in months since moving in with Brian. Even while he was away on tour I was too involved in tons of other stuff to even care about pleasure or where it came from. And then I thought, maybe it’s not about the lack of skill or foreplay in sex that makes it boring, but the fact that maybe we just don’t care anymore.
I flicked the adult channels on, paid the fees that were due, and waited for some epic action. Honestly I couldn’t remember the last time I watched a good quality porno, so it felt like a horrifically guilty thing to do. Yet again, it was Vegas. People passed out smutty little graphic cards in alleyways and street corners. Get tourists to pile into their topless shows, exploit the shit out of some nice boobs. That’s all they were, honestly, just nice boobs. With a little heroin in the mix.
Five minutes into this movie and I was getting hot as hell. Like, damn. I needed some help in here. Typically I lasted like, ten seconds before my arm cramped up. I wasn’t a serial pleasurer. I’ll admit it. I had Brian for that. He usually knew what to do, and I may have found my magical arousal secret. Only, one person wasn’t fun.
So I called room service again, and put the porn away for the time being. I ordered a few beer and two cosmos, hoping for the best. Vegas was amazing for having no limit on liquor consumption. As long as you didn’t kill anyone or yourself, you were pretty much fine. Ten or fifteen minutes went by and there finally came a knock on the door. A bellboy stood with his fancy silver tray of beer and martinis, handing them all over hesitantly, peering inside to see who else was in here. As he started to roll away I shut the door and sucked back one of the cosmos, revelling in the beauty of sourpuss and blue curacao.
And then the porno came back on. I was in single ladies’ heaven… Which got boring really fucking quick because I had no idea how to be single anymore and decided to turn on the sad movie I was watching earlier. With alcohol and sadness already built up deep down, it was only a matter of time before I became a blubbering idiot in a housecoat with tousled hair and the smell of vagina faintly stinking up the room. Seriously, where was the fun in this?
Like I said, about a half hour or so into this movie and I was ugly crying like I’d never ugly cried in my life. Why did things have to be so hard, sad, and complicated? Why couldn’t a girl just have her cake and eat it too?
I didn’t want to text Brian since I knew he was having a good time with his family. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him and that I thought we needed to take time for ourselves and our relationship, but that would probably make him panic and I didn’t need a panicking fiancé as much as I needed a studly boyfriend as previously imagined. Brian was built as fuck and all, but he just didn’t have that badass attitude I needed to get the job done. I needed it rough and fucking insane for a couple nights. Really scratch that itch.
And still, a girl couldn’t have her cake and eat it too. Shame.
Hours passed. Movie after movie after movie came and went and I was so done with the woe-is-me bullshit that I actually felt tempted to put clothes back on and go downstairs to join Matt for some blackjack. Maybe he found a nice girl by now and got his own hotel room. Well, that just made me sad and jealous. Fuck. Fuck these feelings in particular.
So instead, I decided it was maybe time to turn in for the night. After all, it was just after midnight.
While I was flicking through the channels I found that Ghost Adventures was just coming on, so for a few moments I began watching that. Funny. It was the Riviera episode that I was in a while back. And boy, did that camera ever add ten pounds. We all looked like deer in headlights, gaping eyes pointing at the camera, listening around for little sounds and motions. I recalled hearing way fewer noises than they put in the show. Fucking Zak, fabricating as much evidence as he could to try and stay relevant. Good media didn’t need to do that, sir.
I got drowsier the longer I watched. As creepy as it was to watch it, sure, I just couldn’t take the cheesy over-exaggerations. And the anger I had whenever I saw Aaron…ugh. Fucking dick. Then I thought, what if it was Brian’s fault that Harriet met Aaron, because Brian paid for the remainder of my lease? Forced my hand to move out, therefore forcing Harriet’s? No, no. Harriet was a grown ass woman. Her decisions were hers alone even though the outcome affected more than just her life. I could have shamed her much more than I did the night before. True friends are truly tolerant. Er, perhaps not, since I should have smartened her the fuck up before she went and tore Matt’s heart from his chest.
Well, lo and behold, a knock came on the door just as I was about to close my eyes for the night. Matt drunkenly stood in the doorway as he did the night before, with a much different expression on his face. Hair tousled probably from frustration over losing what easily might have been a hundred games or so. “Hey.” He swooned, pushing through the doorway and making his way over to the other bed. Fuck, the smell of Jack and sweat had never been worse on him. “You holed up in here the whole night? Not a very Vegas-y attitude, Liss.”
“It’s fine.” I had to hide the tears from him.
He snickered. “You might have been my good luck charm. Looks pretty cozy though. Aw, fuck, any food left?” stumbling over to the television stand, he picked through the plates I left that were once full of Margherita pizza and chicken wings, picking what he could. Normally he didn’t…do that…but fuck, he was drunk off his ass. Like, I’ve never seen him this drunk without being passed out or puking.
He watched me as he ate, trying to meet my gaze. “Hey, you okay?” he asked, setting the plate down on the nightstand. Staggering to find his balance, he found his way over and sat beside me on the bed. “Hey, Melissa. Come here. Why were you crying?”
I shook him off and pushed him away. “No, we’re not doing this again. You’re drunk as hell and I’m not too far off. It’s too far gone and there’s nothing either of us can do about it besides sit and watch it all fall down.”
“What are you talking about? Everything was fine when you and I got back here earlier. Did Brian call you? Did something happen?”
“Matt, stop pretending like everything is okay. What if you’re right? What if Brian is the reason Harriet left you? Maybe he’s the reason we all did what we’ve done. You went on that bender because he wasn’t there when you needed him.”
He pulled me into his chest, cradling my head against the pounding of his heart. While the emotions were still strong, the comfort was overpowering. And the softness of his skin made me forget only for the moment the sadness and desolation I’d undergone tonight. “Well, why didn’t you come and get me? You wouldn’t have had to be all alone up here. This trip was all about letting yourself loose, girl. And you’re holed up in your little stupid room?” he kicked my bag across the floor, sending my clothes flying all over. “No, you should have gotten that sweet little ass in a bathing suit and spent your afternoon making all the other babes jealous down at the pool. Tomorrow we’ll soak it the fuck up, yeah?”
I nodded, calming my breathing as the seconds passed. “Thank you. Did you have fun?”
“No.” he spat. “Fuckers took all my money. I think I might have been pickpocketed.” Feeling around his back pockets for his wallet, he pulled out his wallet. I saw the wrapper of a condom in there, not so hidden behind a stack of bills. He made no notice or mention of it. Hmm. “Nope, never mind. Well I lost a lot anyway. Anything good on the tube?”
I noticed that Ghost Adventures was also still on the tube, playing almost silently to lull me to sleep earlier. “Ugh, those fuckers.”
“Yeah, I should have turned that off.”
He shook his head and scratched the back of his neck, then started peeling off his plaid over shirt. “Well, I’m over the whole fucking thing. Harriet, Aaron, Brian, the whole. Fucking. Thing. I say fuck all those guys. We need to make our own happiness, you follow me?”
Shrugging I pulled my hair out of my face and let Matt see the full extent of my puffy, red face. “And what might that entail?”
“I don’t know about you, but I’m getting comfy. Pants are coming off, you’ve been warned.” He fought blindly for the belt buckle and button, and pulled the leather strap from the hoops of his jeans, letting them slide to the floor in a heap. All modesty aside, one can only get so much perspective from dreams and subconscious thought, but here rested one hell of a bulge in those briefs. I couldn’t help it. It was right there. And then I started laughing. Like the kind of laughter where you snort and spit and can’t control how hard you laugh because it starts hurting, and you just can’t stop. “What’s so funny?” he hissed, falling back on the bed.
“Oh…nothing. Brian used to make comments about how jealous he was of you. Never made sense until now.” I don’t know why it was funny. Ironic, maybe, the fact that my fiancé was jealous about how fucking hung his buddy was, while it sat on a bed not five feet from me. Nope, I was doubling the fuck over now. Holding my sides. “And I never fucking believed him until now!”
Matt, confused, sat up and bent sideways to face me. When he saw the laughter in my face, he too joined in. “Why is my dick so funny?”
“Because it looks like it means serious business.” I paused and cleared my throat, trying my hardest to keep composure. “You can’t tell me you came all the way here on a whim just to sit with me in a hotel. There’s a condom in your wallet and you’re sitting in your underwear watching a show you hate…making fun of my fiancé. What’s not to laugh about here?” I clenched my eyes shut, giggling to myself, and upon opening them again found he was kneeling on all fours above me, eyes glaring down into my soul. I wasn’t sure how to react, since I wasn’t sure about what his intentions were. Obvious, I mean, for the most part. But for one that was drunk off his ass a minute ago, he could sure sober up and gain back his poise in an instant.
I pulled the dangling chains off from around his neck and set them on the night stand beside the plates he’d placed just before. Those pulsating arms tremoring under his weight. Ink splayed out across the stretch of skin like I’d never seen before. “You know full well why I came here, Melissa. I’m here to claim what’s rightfully mine. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there and only the strongest survive. Tonight I’m cashing it all in.”
Oh, hell. Like my life wasn’t fucked up enough already. “Grab me a beer and we’ll talk.”
“I’m done talking.” His face fell down upon mine, nearly crushing me under the weight and force. Lips mashing together, hands cradling my head still. All the pain and the fear and the hurt melted away, falling into the cracks of my broken shell I’d be leaving behind tonight. Start fresh. Start new. Start with what this world needed from two people sharing air in close quarters.
Instinctively I wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling his arms grab me underneath and pull me upwards, carrying us both away from the bed to a wall—no, the window, where he pressed me against the cool, condensation-covered glass, propping my legs up on his shoulders where he would have perfect access to my loins. His eyes never left mine. “This is for you.” He whispered, diving straight forward, sending one of the most intense sensations through my legs and spine I’d ever felt.
Shrieking, mostly because I was off my fucking feet in mid-air propped up against a cold window where the whole world could see my butt, and because I was receiving some of the best fucking oral in history of sexual pleasure, there was nothing I could do but moan and cry for more. For better. And my god, did he deliver.
I have no idea how much time passed between when I hit the glass to when he began toying with me with sturdy hands, to when he pulled us both back down on the bed and stripped the rest of himself off. Massive muscle tensed and flexed above me, watching this behemoth of a man strip down to nothing and reveal the most vulnerable pieces of himself I’d ever seen. “Get up.” He softly demanded, pulling me to the edge of the bed, pushing my thighs apart. Kneeling, he pressed his face between my thighs and kissed the delicate skin of my navel and lips.
As he buried his face between my thighs again, I couldn’t help but shriek and lash out, my head snapping back. Matt’s arms and shoulders curled under my hips and pinned my thighs against him as he ravenously continued to graze against me with gentle teeth and lips. The ring in his lip did fucking wonders too. “Matt, slow down I’m gonna…I’m gonna…”
“No, you’re not. I got you, girl. Ain’t gonna let you slip away that fast.” He crawled up so his face was an inch or so from mine, toying with me as he did before. Stretching and playing with the crease, feeling for the wetness we both so eagerly waited for. Licking his fingers off he stood and showed me how hard he’d grown.
Intimidated at first, I cocked an eyebrow and glanced up at him, taking his length between shaky fingers, pumping several times before diving for the tip. He pulled away reflexively, kissing me instead. “Ladies don’t suck cock on the first date. You’re too good of a girl for that. How do you want me?”
“However you like,” I panted, feeling my heart rate spike inside my chest. I felt the sweat start to build up on my forehead, my cheeks, between my breasts. His silhouette was lit up by the moon shining in, save for what was blocked by the condensation built up from the heat.
I felt him enter me, first the tip. Slow and reassuring with gentle thrusts. His soft groans grew more vocal and guttural. I feared the pain would be too great, that we’d have to stop. However there was enough wetness down there for him to glide freely. No tension or friction. Just pleasure and desperation. I didn’t want him to see me beg, but he was playing far too nicely. He slowed and bent over to see how I was doing. “Am I enough for you, Liss? Tell me how you want it.”
“I want it all.” I growled. Smiling with an animalistic ferocity, Matt grabbed me by my waist and held me down, slowly thrusting himself all the way in, speeding up with each pass until eventually all I heard was nothing but repetitive slapping, skin on skin. Fast and hard and rough all blended into one experience. An arm reached up and grabbed my neck, not squeezing, but running several fingers across my collarbone.
He slowed to a stop and flipped me so I was bending over the mattress, then taking me again by surprise in a burst of harsh mini thrusts to keep the momentum climbing. The hand closest to my collarbone gripped tightly around my neck, squeezing the sides to try and delay the circulation, where upon release would send a massive surge of blood to my clit and drive me closer to climax. He was totally fucking with me.
Panting, leaning over close to my ear, he whispered with pent-up rage, “You will not cum until I say you may cum.”
“Yes, Matt.”
“Louder.”
“Yes, Matt!”
Growling, he continued his raucous driving of his hips into mine. I began to quiver from the strain, having never been treated this way in the bedroom. God, it was driving me insane. I watched his eyes light up and bulge, knowing what was coming next, and he withheld for a moment to ensure he’d push me over the edge of climax before coming down on his own. “You…will…cum.”
Shrieking, I gripped the sheets of the bed, driving my face between the pillows. Feeling a hot jet of sticky cum fill me and drip down my legs, ruining the sheets and everything else it touched. He grunted and laughed, kneeling atop the mattress, hunky shoulders rising and falling with every breath. All I could do was watch in awe, while this man wiped the sweat from his forehead and face with a thick forearm.
Half a minute or more passed and my body still pulsated from intense orgasmic spasms. Arms jittery, legs Jell-0. Hell if that ever happened before. I felt him down upon me again, grazing every inch of skin with little kisses, a couple gentle bites. “Let me get you a towel,” he whispered, wandering away, illuminated only by the faint television light. When he came back I felt a warm, damp fabric crawl up between my tender legs, wiping away the sticky mess he left. Then with a different towel, a dry one, he wiped away the sweat and excess water left behind.
Matt pulled me up into his arms and brought me to the other bed, laying me within the sheets where he then crawled in beside me and wrapped a tender arm around my waist. Slowly I faded into the realm of shut-eye, praying that when I woke none of this would have changed.
And if this was all a dream, I never wanted to wake up.

Notes