My Fucking Nightmare

We got to Harriet’s apartment, finding Matt’s truck idling outside. He wasn’t in the vehicle, and since he still had a key inside, surely he was up there ransacking the place. I grabbed Melissa and pulled her behind me, Zack trailing behind, all of us unsure of what we were going to find.
Melissa thankfully still had her key, which I assumed she’d given to Harriet since they had a fight…but whatever, I was glad she didn’t and it may have saved someone’s life. We found Matt screaming at Harriet, who was hiding in the bathroom with the door locked. Aaron wasn’t home, and man were we happy about that. I grabbed Matt’s arms and pinned them behind his back and Zack helped me pull him out of the apartment, fighting his banshee yelling and hollering, filling the air with awful slurs and words I wished he’d never use again.
Melissa ran up to the door and started talking through it to reach Harriet, hoping to calm down her muffled sobs. I didn’t hear anything that was said, since my attention was completely focussed on dragging Matt’s ass out of the apartment and into the truck before the cops showed up. I told Melissa to take Matt’s truck back to my place when she was done talking with Harriet, hoping she heard me over the raging man we struggled to hold onto.
When we got him in the truck, Zack sat in the back seat with him, making sure he wouldn’t try and make a run for it. I’d never seen him behave this way before. Maybe he was broken. Maybe this was his snapping point and the damage that was dealt was completely irreversible, and we lost our leader before we could understand what had happened.
Like the pain from the shiner he gave me, I put it out of my mind for the time being and focussed on driving us home without causing an accident. “Maybe we should get him to a hospital instead, Brian. They can give him some sedatives and keep him on suicide watch for a couple days.”
I sighed. “I don’t think he was thinking of suicide, Zack. He told the priest he was sorry for the crime he was going to commit. I think he was planning on murdering Harriet and Aaron.”
Finally his fussing stopped. The rage was over. He hung over Zack’s shoulder, sobbing like an infant. “Get him inside, Zack. I need a minute.” Zack pulled him out of the truck in several attempts, forgetting that he was dealing with a massive, ape-like guy who again, had a lot of problems dealing with his anger. I heard my door open and shut, and that was good enough for me. With the engine of the truck still idling and the door open, I sat in the driver’s seat, leaning out over my knees, trying to catch my breath. The sound of vehicles approaching was alarming, but when I saw it was Johnny and Jimmy, I sighed with relief. They met me, their expressions completely void of emotion. Or maybe they were just scared out of their wits.
I wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
“He’s inside with Zack. Just make sure he doesn’t smash anything else, please.”
Jim placed his hand on my shoulder and pulled my head up so he could hug me. “We found him, buddy. Nothing bad happened. We’re all alive and okay and not in jail. Where’s Melissa?”
“Still at Harriet’s. She’s bringing Matt’s truck here when she’s done. I think she’s bringing Harriet too.”
He looked at me with wide, cautioned eyes. “And you think that’s a good idea?”
Shaking my head, I regained my gaze at the ground. “I don’t know anymore, man. I just don’t know what to do. He’s never been this bad.”
Jim nodded and left me sitting there, joining the other three inside. After a few minutes of moping by myself, Melissa showed up in Matt’s truck. She shut off the engine and approached the entrance, unsure of what to say to me as she looked my way. I shook my head and watched her go in, unsure of what exactly she’d be stepping in on.
Eventually I got it together, after taking a few deep breathers, letting all the stress of the situation sink to the ground beneath me. I walked into my house and found everyone in the kitchen and living room, each with a look of extreme disgust on their faces, until I heard the sound of Matt retching in the bathroom. “He’s gonna be in there for a while, probably.” Jim commented, cringing every time that awful noise resonated through the hallway.
Melissa patted the cushion beside her, so I went to sit down and lean my head against her shoulder. “Guys, I have no idea what we’re gonna do. He’s a danger to himself and others, and until we get something figured out to help him…we can’t live like this.” There was a unanimous agreement in the room. “He’s gotta sober up for a while. All this drinking is gonna create a bigger problem than it solves.”
“Melissa, what did Harriet say?” Zack asked.
She went quiet, pulling on strands of her hair. “Uh. She’s not in a good way.”
I turned to her, squeezing her closer into my ribs. “Babe, it’s okay. What happened with Harriet? What did Matt do?”
Liss inhaled sharply and glanced at all of us around the room. “He told her that she better be happy with her choice of Aaron over him because he wasn’t gonna stick around and wait for her. Then I guess she asked him what the hell he was talking about, to which he responded saying he was wishing the liquor would kill him. And just before he went to the bathroom when Zack brought him in, he was all pissed off about how the hangover meant he didn’t have enough alcohol in his system to send him circling the drain.”
“Alright, so we boycott all the liquor. Jim, gather up everything you can find and pour it down the drain.” Jimmy was on it before I finished telling him. Johnny had gone to check on Matt, bringing him some water and a damp cloth. All we heard were dozens of cusses coming from the bathroom, followed by Johnny hurriedly leaving, his face drained of colour. “He isn’t breathing!”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes, waiting for the panic to set in. Deciding to go check on him myself, I too found Matt lying face-up on the ceramic floor, a thin stream of light brown bile coming from the corner of his mouth. As I approached closer, I noticed his lips had turned blue and his skin was clammy, not cold. Just really scaly. “Matt!” I yelled, dropping to my knees. Melissa followed closely, bringing the first aid kit from the closet down the hall. “Melissa, give me those towels! Fuck, Matt. No. No, no.” I checked his breathing, leaning down with my ear to his mouth, hearing nothing but gurgling. Rolling him onto his side, I drained all the vomit from his mouth.
Johnny poked his head through the bathroom door behind Melissa, and cleared his throat. I could hear his teeth chattering as he spoke. “The—the ambulance is on the way. He needs to go up, Brian. What the fuck do we do?”
“Nothing!” I yelled, as I clasped his wrist with two fingers, and using my other hand to check for a pulse in his neck. Airway was clear…but no breath sounds or pulse. Okay. Start CPR. Fuck, I don’t know where this was coming from. I couldn’t remember how long ago I picked up CPR, not that it wasn’t something I shouldn’t have known, but it was a long, long time ago. “How far out are they?” I yelled back at Johnny.
“Ten minutes they said. Oh god, is he still alive?” Johnny tried pushing past Melissa, but goddamn it if my bathroom wasn’t big enough for four people to comfortably sit around. Matt’s life was on the line, so comfortability had nothing to do with it, but still. The pressure was entirely on me at that moment, and I wasn’t sure how much longer it would be before I snapped.
I started compressions. Thirty, then breathe in through his mouth. God, I hoped he wouldn’t wake up and shoot vomit into my mouth. I wasn’t formally trained for this and I wasn’t about to be okay with being puked on. One set of compressions down, breathe. Restart compressions. “Johnny, come hold his head. Make sure his nose is pointing straight up to the ceiling. Need to make sure the air isn’t going into his stomach.”
“Calm down, Brian. The compressions are too fast. You’re gonna hurt him, move the fuck over.” I collapsed backwards, the whole world spinning. Before I knew it, my head was in the toilet. I couldn’t take this.
Five minutes later the ambulance showed up. EMTs pulled a gurney into the bathroom, but Johnny didn’t stop compressions. He was freaking out more than I was. “Sir, you need to step away and let us do our job. How long has he been unconscious?”
“F—fifteen minutes.” Johnny stuttered. He was red in the face from all the compressions. We were all in shock, but Johnny was legitimately freaking out. “He was in here puking. H—he went on a bender for three days, I don’t know how much he had to drink. I came in to s—see if he was okay and found him on the floor. He was blue. Brian and I came in and started compressions and it didn’t work. It didn’t work.”
The EMTs loaded Matt up into the ambulance as the rest of us waited to see what the fuck we were gonna do. Johnny went with them in the ambulance, as the rest of us decided how to proceed. We didn’t know whether to be angry or scared, or vice versa. Fuck, if we hadn’t found him…
I needed to gather my thoughts. I needed time to calm down, but when I sat on the couch, I began sobbing. And I couldn’t stop. Oh, god. My head. Matt. Please, god in heaven. Save him.

Notes