My Fucking Nightmare

Honestly, I’m not sure what I expected. We came home from our lengthy—and need I stress lengthy—and I was fucking exhausted. All I wanted to do was see Harriet, make love to her. All I wanted was to see my wife. She was the only thing on my mind besides the music and instead of coming home to find my wife crying with happiness or jumping in my arms, she tells me some guy moved into her apartment and that she couldn’t commit to our marriage. I mean, what the hell just happened?
I was fucking pissed. Outraged. Couldn’t go to Brian’s. Couldn’t go to Jimmy’s or Zack’s. They were surely balls-deep inside their own women. And here I sat again in my truck, vibrating from the rage, from the adrenaline, making me want to find this douche and smack him straight. What could have been worse than all this? My world just fell apart in front of me.
So I drove to Johnny’s. He lived in this little cozy bachelor’s suite downtown. Close to all the hot clubs, including Harriet’s bar. I sneered as I drove by, cursing and wishing I had the choice not to go. Maybe I wouldn’t have fucked all this up. Was it even my fault? Surely Melissa didn’t have the same fucking problem, or I’d have heard from Brian by now. She at least was strong like the other two. She had her own career to worry about. Harriet was a waitress at a bar.
Whatever, I didn’t care. I pulled into Johnny’s and walked in as I usually do without knocking. His place looked like a tornado hit. “The fuck you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be with your lady?”
“Seems like she found someone else to comfort her while we were gone.”
Johnny’s jaw slacked. “No fucking way. Not again.” I nodded in disbelief. He was right, it happened again. “What the fuck dude?”
I shrugged. “I dunno man. Got any beer?” I didn’t wait for his response but dove straight for his fridge in the corner of the living room. It was a mini bar fridge. Convenient, really. I snagged the first one I laid hands on it. Didn’t look at the label, and tore the cap off, tossing it to the side. We had a collection of bottle stoppers in the corner, sort of like a collection of fucked up, drunken memorabilia. “Yeah, I got there and she wasn’t even excited to see me. There were all these boxes lined up along the wall, taped up. I thought they were hers. Then she told me some guy named Aaron moved in to share the rent. Too bad I don’t share pussy.”
“Fuck, man. What are you gonna do? You got married before you left.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, don’t remind me. I just wanna get drunk.”
He grabbed himself a beer and flopped down on his couch. The thing was old and tattered and smelled like spilled booze. “Well there’s always the titty bar. And you know how good they work to cheer up. All those girls, all that cash.”
Nah, I just needed time to myself. “I dunno man. Maybe. I should go see my dog. Oh, fuck. My dog.” I forgot all about Bishop. She better not have forgotten about him. Or maybe Melissa was a bigger hero than I was led to believe. Whatever the case, I’d finish the beer and head home. Bishop was the one great thing that always cheered me up. I knew that eventually the pain and shock of this situation would hit and I’d wanna be close to home when it happened.
“Seriously, Matt. You gonna be okay?”
I drank as much of the beer as I could before it started to burn, then set the bottle down on the table. “Yeah. Sorry, I forgot all about Bishop. I’ll call you if I want to get some tail. Probably call Harriet first and see what she wants to do about all this. Maybe I’m reading into it wrong.”
“No, man. You gotta let her go before…” I slammed the door before Johnny could finish his sentence. Bounding up the road, my heart was racing. Oh, god I hoped my boy was okay. I’d actually probably murder someone if anything happened to him. Practically bursting through my door, I found Bishop waiting in the porch with one paw crossed over the other. Looking around, nothing seemed to be destroyed. I couldn’t smell any piss or shit so that was a bonus, though I had no idea what to expect.
His bowl had a little bit of food in it, probably from being fed earlier that morning. Was it Melissa? I’d have to call and ask Brian. Or maybe it was Gina. Whatever. He was fed, let out, looked after. One thing left in my life I could count on, besides my brothers.
It was late in the afternoon when I finally looked at the clock. Feeling somewhat hungry, I checked in the fridge, forgetting there was probably nothing in there. But to my surprise I found a half of a grocery store sandwich still in its Saran wrapper on the top shelf, and a couple cans of soda. Weird, almost seemed like someone was living here. “Who made camp here while I was gone, Bishop?” I asked him rhetorically, half-ass expecting an answer when he cocked his head to the side.
Whatever, a sandwich was a sandwich.
I sat on the couch closest to the kitchen, feeling too exhausted and lazy to make it to the comfier couch across the room. Flicking on the television, I scrolled to the news to catch up on what had been happening since we were gone. All the while unconsciously waiting for my phone to buzz with either Brian on the other end, or more regrettably, Harriet. Her and I had a lot to discuss and not in the manner as previously done. I needed her to know that our marriage meant a lot more to me than she probably thought, and since being away for so long, the distance made me stronger, though somehow made her weaker. She was a woman of high maintenance. I couldn’t do it; I couldn’t get invested in someone who made me pick between my love life and my career. The band was all I had. Girls would come and go.
Just with everything that already happened between us…it hurt so much to think that after a year of being gone, a marriage would crumble and turn to dust over nothing. I mean, perhaps it was nothing. Perhaps it was all in my head, this whole other guy living in her apartment. But then why would she still be living there in her little place when she had a beautiful home up on the hill?
There were red flags up all over the place. I wish Brian would call or text or let me know it was clear for me to come over without risking seeing genitals everywhere. Surely they weren’t going through what I was. And a little over an hour after I flopped into the sofa, the phone began buzzing on the coffee table. Brian’s name came up. “Hey, man.”
“Hey, Johnny mentioned something was up. Come over, we should talk. Had to call and let you know the coast was clear anyway, and Melissa went to go track Harriet down. I think she had the idea for all four of us to sit in a group and discuss what the hell’s been going on.”
I scoffed, somewhat taken back. “Uh, I dunno man. Might not be a good idea. I can’t even look her in the face right now. I guess Johnny told you what happened. Did he tell the other two?”
“Not sure. But seriously, come over. We’re making dinner and I think the rest are showing up in a bit for some celebratory drinks. Like a welcome home thing, remember?”
Rubbing my forehead, I sat in silence for a few seconds, hoping that if I decided to go over there that it wouldn’t turn into some fucking intervention. “Alright, be there in a few. Surely everyone knows by now anyway.” I hung up and peeled myself off the couch, sluggishly making my way to the door. This had been one painfully long day, and I didn’t need it to drag on for any longer than it needed. We all needed rest, time with our loved ones. Well, hypothetically.
When I got to Melissa and Brian’s, she was gone like he’d said and Johnny was already there, drinking a beer in the kitchen with Brian. I grabbed a stool and hunched over the counter, cracking open the bottle Brian handed to me. “So, what the fuck happened, man?”
I took a long, gracious sip of the Sierra and let out a relieving belch. “Well, we pulled into town. I went straight to Harriet’s after picking up the truck. She was in her room, not sure what she was doing before I walked in there, but she had this look on her face, man. Like she knew something was gonna go wrong. And then I tried getting it on with her, and she just pushed me right the fuck off. So at that point I had no idea what to say. Cuz that’s exactly what the last one did.” I referred to my ex as ‘the last one’ since bringing up that whore’s name was still a little too bitter for me. “I told Johnny I saw boxes piled up by the other bedroom and I thought they were hers and maybe some of Melissa’s old shit, but turns out they belonged to this guy who moved in there. Harriet mentioned they were kind of exclusive.”
Brian scratched the back of his neck, not sure what to say. Johnny, looking cross as hell, sucked back his beer and didn’t say a damn thing. “So what are you gonna do, then?” Brian asked.
Just as I was about to answer, Jimmy and Zack bounded through the door, their gazes meeting mine in complete and utter disbelief. Probably a little anger and doubt in the mix too. “Hey, fellas. Come get a couple brewskis. I dunno what you heard or anything but there’s something going on with Harriet, and we’re gonna get to the bottom of it. Hopefully Melissa comes back alone ‘cuz I don’t need to see her right now.”
Jimmy patted my shoulder and dropped his forehead to the back of mine. “Oh, Matty. Why does this keep happening to you? Why, oh why? Why not Brian? He’s way too fucking happy all the time. I mean, come on man. She can’t give that good of head.”
“Nah his dick’s just small, remember?” Johnny chimed in. I laughed and guzzled some more beer, almost finishing the bottle in one drink. “Anyways, what were you gonna say before they came in, man?”
I thought for a moment, exchanging glances with my boys who all stood around in an incomplete circle, all looking disappointed as hell. “One thing’s for sure…I’m giving her space to figure it out. By the way, who was staying at my place? They left a half-eaten sandwich and a bunch of Pepsi in the fridge.”
Brian cleared his throat after finishing his bottle. God, he reeked of sweat and sex. “Melissa stayed there for a couple days, she said. To look on Bishop. She said Harriet wasn’t going up more than once a day, since she didn’t have much money for a cab. And Aaron started refusing to take her, she said.”
That part pissed me off even more. Though I was grateful for Melissa. “If she doesn’t come back here before I leave, tell her how thankful I am for her help. Seriously, she couldn’t even come up and look after my goddamn dog? I mean, what the fuck? That’s one of the three things I asked her to do while I was away. Not that she did any of the other things either, but come on. It’s a living creature baking inside my house, not to mention peeing all over everything. Taking a shit wherever he wants. Goddamn it.” I slammed the bottle onto the countertop. Almost hard enough to break it. I was seething with rage.
Out of nowhere Melissa walked through the door, alone. I was disappointed, but relieved that I didn’t have to face my wife. Brian rushed over and kissed her, wiping a couple locks of hair out of her face. “Well?” he asked, hoping for some good news on behalf of all of us.
“She wasn’t there. I’m not sure if she’s supposed to be working or not, but it seemed like she was just there. Television was left on. Bathroom and both bedrooms were unoccupied. I even checked the laundry room, found nothing. Fucking weird, but I dunno. Maybe she had to go out and her roommate left everything on.” I was grateful for the fact that she didn’t use his name.
“You’ve been there lots lately, Melissa.” I belted out, trying to not sound super pissed, but I couldn’t help it. “Are they sleeping together? What’s his business, what does he do? And why was she totally not okay with seeing me?”
Melissa shrugged, dipping her head down so her gaze met the floor. She honestly looked upset. For the situation, not just for me. She knew something about her friend and I was determined to get it out of her. “I definitely think she’s seeing Aaron. There’s no possible way she’s sleeping in her bed every night. She never makes it and when I got there it was made. Was it made when you went there, Matt?”
I shook my head. “No, everything was all over the place. I was in such a rush to see her. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.”
“I’ll go back there in a little bit to see what’s up, and then maybe drive down to the bar to see if she’s working. Last I checked she didn’t have today scheduled, but I could be mistaken.”
We all nodded in agreement. I didn’t like Melissa doing this, but she was honestly so generous and kind. I couldn’t stop the feeling of jealousy for Brian’s stroke of luck finding her. If I had anyone like Melissa, I’d say to hell with the band and just devote everything I had to her. “I appreciate it, Liss.”
With all the air cleared I cracked another beer, completely oblivious to the fact that my phone was ringing, and her name was on the screen.

Notes