Leana’s POV

“Come on, Zacky!” I whine, wrapping my arms around his waist as we stand in my side yard. “Don’t be such a goody-goody lets go to this party tonight. I promise I’ll make it worth your while,” I giggle, wiggling my eyebrows at him.

Zack threw his head back with a laugh and leaned forward, gently kissing my lips. “Oh yeah? And how are you going to do that, Miss Silver?” he chuckles. Damn he was cute when he laughed. That little smirk was my favorite and he knew it.

“You’ll just have to meet me in an hour to find out,” I say with a wink before pulling away from him. I knew it drove him crazy when I played these games, but I also knew he always gave me what I wanted. “Plus you and I both know Matt will be there…”

Ever since Michelle started showing up at parties with me, Matt Sanders also started showing up. And if you asked me, it was not a coincidence. Something was brewing there, even Zacky thought so, and I was going to get to the bottom of it. You see, over the past year Michelle and I had become pretty close, but don’t tell Valary. If she knew, she put an end to it and I didn’t want to lose the one girl friend that I had.

“Fine, I’ll go but you owe me,” Zack jokingly sighs.

“Oh, act like I’m forcing you into it. You know you want to go hang out with Matt and get the dirt on everything. You’re just as much into gossip as I am,” I tease even though we both know it’s true.

“Yeah, yeah…go get your ass ready,” and with that he gave me a spank and headed back towards his house.

I couldn’t help but smile as I made my way back to the little shack we called a home. Zacky always made my day and I was really glad to have a friend like him in life. He always looked out for Josh and I and made sure we had enough of anything. He even passed me some of his sister’s hand-me-downs when I outgrew my old clothes. I honestly didn’t know what I would do without him in my life.

But what were we? Sure I liked him and we kissed frequently but did that make us a couple? I didn’t know but I didn’t mind the thought of being in a relationship with my best friend. There were worse things in the world right?

“Yeah, twelve will be fine,” I heard a familiar voice say as I came through the back door into the kitchen. Great my mother was dealing in the kitchen again, but that’s not what bothered me the most. It was who she was dealing to.

“Fifty bucks,” My mother replied in a hoarse voice as my eyes met a pair of crystal blue orbs.

“Jimmy?” I gasped out loud, looking between him and my mother. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Jimmy passed my mother a wad of cash and glared at me with narrow eyes. “What the hell does it look like?” He shrugged and I was surprised that his tone wasn’t darker. Jimmy almost looked shocked to see me as I shook my head and pushed past him into the living room. I was disgusted.

I couldn’t fucking believe this! My mother was dealing to minors now? How fucking desperate was she? I knew we didn’t have anything but that didn’t make it right for her to ruin kid’s lives.

She knew that she frequently sold bad drugs and the last thing she needed was to kill some kid experimenting with the wrong thing. I mean, just a few months ago four or her clients died because she sold them lethal meth. Did she not have a conscious anymore?

I scoffed as I moved down the hall from the kitchen, hearing them still talking. And how could Jimmy be that fucking stupid? I mean pot was one thing but my mom rarely sold that. She had moved to peddling harder drugs. Was he really that much of an idiot to get into those kind of drugs at seventeen? I thought he was smarter than that and that really pissed me off. How could someone with so much talent and promise throw it all away for a high? God that made me sick.

Just as I rounded the corner to go up the rickety old staircase, someone grabbed me by the arm and pushed me against the wall. Before I could even blink there was a hand over my mouth and a very freaked out pair of blue eyes staring down at me. “Don’t say anything,” Jimmy hisses, looking around to make sure my mother was still in the kitchen. “Listen you better not tell anyone about this, do you hear me?”

I narrowed my eyes at him and he removed his hand from in front of my mouth with a small, ‘oh’. “Who the hell am I going to tell?” I shot back, looking at him. I was so disappointed in him.

Yet something about him pushing me against the wall was exciting and terrifying at the same time. What the hell was that thought? Come on, Leana, get your head out of the gutter. You don’t mean that.

“Zack. Don’t fucking tell Zack or I will make your life a living hell,” he threatened and I raised a brow at him. I think that this was the first time I had ever heard him be serious in my life and it was kind of frightening. “Promise me you won't tell anyone!” His voice was getting louder and louder with each word.

“I promise…” I breathed with a sigh. As soon as those words left my mouth, he took a step away from me, allowing me to finally breath. But before he could head out the door I grabbed his arm. “But only this time. Don’t be stupid Jimmy and don’t come back here.” I said.
“Mind your one business, Silver,” he said before he disappeared out the door without another word.

Michelle’s POV

Damn it! For the life of me I couldn’t get that stupid Brian Haner out of my head. I mean who the hell did he think he was just kissing me out of the blue? Not to mention admitting his feelings to me after he had been hanging all over my sister? No way, it was all bullshit! Who the hell did this guy think he was anyway?

Did I like Brian? Of course I did! I’d had a crush on the kid since fifth grade. I mean he was super hot, especially now with his rocker look, not to mention that he was kind, funny, and always looked out for me. So why didn’t I go for it when he approached me multiple times over the years? Well, because Val told me she would ruin me if I ever dated that loser and I believed her. She was the queen bee and I’d seen what she had done to other girls at school, though that was before Daddy passed away.

I guess a lot things were different now because it seemed that the No Brian Haner rule had been lifted, not to mention she seemed to like him. That really pissed me off because that meant that he was really off limits to me. How was that fair when I liked him first? This whole thing was just sick and twisted and I didn’t know what to think anymore.

As I climbed out my window and headed uptown to meet Matt and Leana at a party, I couldn’t stop thinking about the spark I felt when Brian touched me. What the hell was that? I had never experienced anything like it. I was completely caught me off guard when his lips touched mine and every nerve ending seemed to explode. It had never happened when I kissed any other guys and I had kissed a lot of guys so far. So what made Brian different?

“Finally you’re fucking here!” Leana yells, pulling be back to my senses. I hadn’t even realized I had made it to the warehouse and was blindly walking around. Did that kiss with Brian really mess with my mind that badly?

Her arms wrapped around me as she pulled me toward the keg. “I was starting to think something happened to you. You’re not usually this late,” Leana says, handing me a red solo cup filled to the rim with beer. I really didn’t like beer but I would choke it down to get the buzz. At least this piss water was good for something. “Did Val catch you?”

“No,” I smirked, pulling the cup to my lips and taking a sip. “Just had to wait until the Mother Dearest and Captain Douchebag went to bed.”

For weeks I had been sneaking out behind my sisters back to attend these parties. There was just something exhilarating about sneaking out and washing all my problems, fears, and worries away with alcohol, the occasional drug, and dancing.

It had gotten to the point where I craved the release that these parties offered and I snuck out every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday like clock work. It was amazing that Val hadn’t caught me yet but I think that was because I took her with me on Friday and Saturday nights. I don’t think she had any idea about the weeknight parties and I wasn’t about to tell her. She just wouldn’t understand and would tell me that I was overdoing the partying. The last thing I wanted was another lecture.

“Well, come on, you’ve got an hour to make up for and Matt Sanders has been looking for you,” Leana slurs, dragging me to the dance floor. The loud music and the bass seemed to synchronize with my heartbeat as I danced, moving my hips to the beat. “So what’s going on with you and Colonel Sanders?” she asks with a loud laugh. I can tell just by the look on her face that she is already half in the bag and will probably be hung over at school tomorrow. Well at least she was having fun.

I finished my first beer and wrapped my arms around her neck, pulling her closer as we danced together. I didn’t even care that the boys were gawking at us because only one of them had my attention. “Why, what did you hear?” I ask, meeting Matt’s eye over Leana’s shoulder.

I knew she wouldn’t say anything if I told her the truth—she had proven herself trustworthy time-after-time. “Oh, Zack was just telling me that he and Brian were arguing all day about you. Rumor has it they both like you.” A light blush took over my cheeks but thank goodness it was dark and no one could see it. “So what is going on?”

I chewed my bottom lip for a moment, still watching Matt with a small smirk. Leana noticed and turned around, following my gaze. My face had to be as red as a tomato now. “You are banging him, aren’t you? Michelle Louise Dibenedetto you dirty dog you!” Leana says with a shocked face as she elbows me in the side. “I would have expected that from Val but you…you go girl!”

“It’s nothing serious,” I blush, chewing on my bottom lip as Matt laughs at something Zack says. “We’ve just made out a handful of times…and we may have done some other stuff…”

“Oh my god, did you sit on his face?” I put my hand over her mouth, hoping that no one heard her over top of the music. Why did she always have to be so loud? I swear she was Jimmy Sullivan shoved in a petite female body.

“Leana…” I hiss, looking around with wide eyes as she laughs hysterically in my arms. “Shh….yes…and it was amazing but you can't fucking tell anyone. It’s a secret!”

“Does he know you still have you v-card?” she whispers loudly and I put my face in my hands. This conversation just keeps getting better and better and I’m sure my face is scarlet red now. “I mean are you going to give it to Matt?”

“Give me what?” I instantly freeze when I hear him behind us. No, please don’t let him have heard that last part of the conversation. I would honestly be mortified and I would seriously consider killing Leana. Damn her and her big mouth!

Leana burst into laughter as I slowly turned around to see Matt and Zack standing in front of us with drinks. “Nothing…” I lie, shooting Leana look as she falls into Zack’s arms and takes her drink. “Do you want to dance?” I ask, but before he can answer, I grab him by the front of his Iron Maiden t-shirt and pull him away.

As soon as we have our own spot on the dance floor, Matt pulls me into his arms, his hands resting fully on my hips. He looks down at me with that dimpled grin and I literally melt right there. My god this guy is attractive and I can't believe he is actually interested in me.

“I was worried that you weren’t going to show,” he whispers in my ear as our bodies grind together to the beat. My hands slowly wander down his toned front before I sling them around his neck. All I can do is imagine that chiseled chest hiding beneath that old t-shirt. Just that thought and feeling his hardness through his pants makes me wet.

I looked up into his hazel eyes with a small frown. “And when have I ever stood you up?” I ask with a raised brow, which only makes him throw his head back with a laugh. “Do you think I would make a promise I wasn’t going to keep?”

“I don’t know,” Matt shrugs slightly and pulls me even closer. “But I’ve been thinking about you all god damn day and it’s been driving me crazy. Last night was amazing…” his warm breath tickles my skin, sending shivers down my spine. “I want another taste…”

I moaned lightly at the growl in his voice. Damn that was sexy as hell. “I’ve been thinking about it too,” I admit, letting out another moan when his lips start to move down my neck. Each little kiss and nibble makes me feel like I’m in pure bliss. Did he have any idea what kind of effect he had on me?

“Tell me what you’ve been thinking about…” Matt slowly moves around and pulls my back into his chest, still moving to the beat of the music. I can feel his bulging mass stabbing me in the ass and I bite down on my lip to prevent the whimper from escaping. His lips were becoming more and more demanding on my neck and I knew I would probably have another hickey if he didn’t slow down. “Come on, Chelle…don’t be shy…you weren’t last night…”

“Mmm….I’ve been thinking about that thing your tongue was doing when you were….” In an instant, Matt had spun me around and pulled me into a hungry kiss. I moaned, giving him full access and our tongues danced together in a battle for dominance, making me wetter and wetter.

The next thing I knew, Matt had me in his arms and was carrying me down a dark hallway, our lips never breaking contact. “Mmm…I fucking want you, Chelle…” he murmurs against my lips, his hands roaming my body. I felt my shirt pulled up over my head and dropped to the floor as my ass landed on some piece of machinery. “Hold on…I want to see you.”

Suddenly I was sitting alone in the middle of the room, my heart racing like mad in my chest. He had really worked me up and I craved his touch and the high he was giving me. Damn I felt so good when we touched and kiss. It wasn’t a spark like I felt with Brian, but it was magical nonetheless.

As I sat on the machine, I looked around. Through the darkness I could see a conveyer belt and what appeared to be an assembly line of sorts. Where the hell were we and where did Matt go? I couldn’t see him but I could hear him curse every once in a while. “What are you doing? Playing hide and seek?” I giggle, still trying to spot him in the shadows.

“No, just wait a minute, I’ll be right there,” he calls and I lean backwards, feeling some kind of rubber underneath me. What was I sitting on?

“Why is it that every time we meet, you always pull me into the shadows?” I ask with a smirk, just as a door opens and the moonlight instantly brightens the room. It was true, he always like to pull me into one of his secret hiding places for alone time.

“Do I have to start calling you Mr. Shadows or something?” Matt just laughs and I cross my legs as his silhouette races back towards me. Suddenly his lips crash into mine and he pulls away with a huge dimpled grin.

“You’re a genius, Chelle!” He said, kissing my lips between every word. “That’ll be my stage name…M. Shadows…that’s fucking bad ass. And I like to pull you into the shadows to do this.” His teeth sunk down into the tender flesh on my neck making me melt. He told me the other day he had a vampire fetish, and damn I loved it when he bit my neck. It was so sexy.

“Mmm…” I moaned, running my hands down his chest. I couldn’t take it anymore. I leaned forward and our lips came crashing together in a hungry kiss. Matt’s hands moved under my ass as he lifted me to the bulge in his jeans. I couldn’t help myself as I moved my hips against his. Matt deepened the kiss, our tongues dancing together. I could feel a dull ache building in my core from our dry humping and I knew that I wanted him.

"Oh fuck, Matt," I moaned in his ear while he kissed and nibbled my neck. "You don’t know how wet I am right now..." It was true. I was pretty sure I had soaked through my panties.
"Let me see then," he said, his fingers finding their way to my belt buckle and unbuttoning my pants.

"Let's get rid of this, I want to see your amazing arms, M. Shadows" I moaned into Matt’s ear as I pulled off his shirt. My nails dug into his skin and Matt moaned my name, making shiver with anticipation.

"You have no idea how much I want you." Matt bit my earlobe and pulled my shirt up over my head, his tongue and lips kissing around the black lace material of my bra.

The next thing I knew, his fingers had made their way into my pants. His fingers massaged my clit while he sucked on my breast. “God I fucking want you, Chelle…”

All I could do was nod my head in agreement, my mind swimming with a pheromone high. Matt slowly started to lean me back but when my arms touched the cold metal I froze, my eyes popping open. I was about to lose my virginity in the back room of a warehouse? No, this wasn’t how I pictured this at all. I couldn’t do this, not here. Not now…shit…this was fucked up. I know it was stupid but I wanted my first time to be special and not some random hook up in a warehouse.

“Chelle?” Matt asks, looking down at me with a frown. He must have noticed my tense frame? Or maybe it was because I had unconsciously pinched my legs shut. I just couldn’t do this here…not now.

“I-I’m sorry…” I stammer, hopping down off the conveyer belt and quickly pulling my clothes back on. “I-I can't do this…”

“What?” Matt looked at me like I was crazy and I knew I had hurt his pride a little bit. Damn it, now I felt like an ass. I guess everyone was right, I was a fucking princess… “What happened? Did I do something wrong?”

I frantically shook my head at him. “No….I just cant do this here…I-I’m sorry…” and without another glance backwards, I sprinted out the door feeling utterly mortified. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to have sex with Matt, because I really did. I like him and he was good to me, but I didn’t want it to be in a gross warehouse. I wanted it to be special…even if it meant that I just lost Matt with my actions.

I kept replaying the scene over and over in my head the entire way home, and each time was worse than the previous. God Matt was never going to talk to me again and I couldn’t even imagine facing him at school tomorrow. This really sucked and maybe if I had the balls to tell him I was still a virgin he would understand, but I didn’t even have the guts to do that. Damn it, Mom was right – I always ruined everything.

“Where the hell were you?” Val’s voice sounded as I climbed through my bedroom window. She was sitting on my bed with her arms crossed in front of her chest with her signature pissed-off look. Great just what I needed on top of this amazing night…not.

“I went out,” I shrugged, moving into our shared bathroom to put on my pajamas. As I pulled them off the back of the door, I couldn’t help but notice the grass stained t-shirt lying in the hamper. How the hell did that happen? And then it hit me…

“Seriously, Michelle where the hell were you? It’s not safe for you to sneak around at all hours of the night,” she says and I roll my eyes. This is exactly why I didn’t tell her about the party.
“I could ask you the same question,” I counter, pulling the shirt out of the hamper. “You know what they say about grass stains on your back,” and thank god that shut her up. “So who was the lucky guy? You finally fuck Haner?” I ask bitterly as I push past her back into my room. I really wasn’t in the mood for this conversation after my crappy night. I just wasn’t good enough for anyone was I?

“What the hell are you talking about?” she snaps. “And why are you in a bad mood? What happened?”

“Nothing, okay?” I say before shutting my bedroom door. “Good night.” I quickly went back to my bed and pulled the covers over my head, ignoring Val’s lecture that was coming through the door. That was the last thing I needed.

The next morning I woke up feeling even worse about everything. I didn’t want to talk to Val because I knew that she would question me about last night and I was mortified to see Matt. I could already tell that today was going to be a crappy day, and boy it didn’t disappoint.

By the time third period rolled around, I had successfully avoided both Matt and Val, as well as got a collection of C’s and D’s on tests that I normally would have aced. Damn it, this day was just getting better. But I knew I couldn’t avoid Matt in fourth period, which was really stressing me out. I didn’t want to face him today and I wouldn’t have any choice because he was my chemistry lab partner. And speak of the devil…

At that exact moment, Matt started down the hall towards me and my face instantly paled. “Fuck,” I hissed and turned to go the other way. But as soon as I turned the other direction, I saw Val’s blonde hair headed towards me. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I moaned, looking for an escape route.

I quickly turned and walked straight out the emergency exit before either of them caught up with me. “Phew…” I breathed, leaning against the back of the door with my eyes closed. The California sunshine and breeze felt good over my face and instantly relaxed me. It wouldn’t be so bad if I skipped fourth through sixth period out here would it?

“Chelle? What are you doing out here?” Fuck, I just couldn’t find any freedom! I slowly opened my eyes to see Brian leaning against a tree with a cigarette in his mouth. “Don’t you have class?”

He blew out a cloud of smoke and my eyes instantly went to his lips. They looked so perfects as he exhaled and I subconsciously licked my lips, wondering what they tasted like. No, Michelle, that’s what got you into his whole mess!

With a sigh, I put my head in my hands and nodded, trying not to let the tears come. Today had been awful and the worst part was that it wasn’t even halfway over yet. I still had band practice with Val so I guess I would have to face her eventually. Maybe she would have forgotten by then? Yeah, not likely.

“Hey, hey, hey…” Brian says, wrapping his arm around my slim shoulders. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing…just a bad day…I wish I could just wake up and start over,” I muttered, still not looking at him.

“Well, I can’t help you start over but I do have something that will make you feel better…” My head instantly snapped up to see that smirk on Brian’s lip. Why was that so attractive? “Yeah? What’s that?” I mumble, still not believing him.

“A bunch of us a going to go get high, and that sounds exactly like what you need, Chelle,” Brian continues and I sigh, feeling guilty for not being in Chemistry right now. “Come on, you’re already skipping and you know a joint will do you good.” Damn it, I hated when he was right. “What do you say? It will take a load off your plate.” Brian flashed me another one of his charming smiles and I knew resistance was futile.

“Fine…but I have to be back for fifth period,” I say, even though we both knew that wasn’t going to happen.

A half an hour later we were sitting down by the beach by the cliff, smoking a Mary Jane and enjoying the sunshine. I had taken off my cardigan and was laying back on the rock with my shorts rolled up and my designer tank top on. Oh, now this is what I’m talking about! I didn’t have a care in the world and I felt relaxed for the first time in weeks.

“Why the hell are you so beautiful?” Brian asks. He had been staring at me for the last ten minutes without saying anything, but I didn’t really care. I was just riding my high.

“You’re hallucinating,” I giggle, propping myself up on my elbow to take another hit. Ahh…yeah…this was one of my better ideas, or so I thought at this moment. “So where are these other people?” I ask, looking around with red puffy eyes.

“They must have pussed out,” Brian shrugs his shoulder and scoots closer to me and puts his arm around my shoulder. The instant his skin touches mine, that familiar spark shot down my spine, causing me to sit straight up. What the hell is that? Did Brian feel it too? “But it’s there loss because now I get to spend the afternoon with the hottest girl in school.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him, a small blush coming over my face. “Yeah, right, Haner.” I slowly sat up and pulled my knees to my chest, chewing on my bottom lip. Why was his touch making me feel like this?

“I’m serious, Michelle.” Suddenly Brian took my face in his hands, sending a spark over my body again. I gasped as our eyes met and I knew he felt it too, whatever it was. Was it because of the drugs? I didn’t know, but what I did know was that he was making it hard for me to breath. Were the drugs affecting my judgment and body or was my heart racing from our physical contact? “You’re fucking gorgeous and I was serious when I told you I liked you yesterday. I have for years…just please consider it…”

My breath hitched in my chest as Brain spoke, my jaw hanging open. Was he serious? I looked into his eyes and they told me everything I needed to know. He did like me and there was no denying that I liked him. What about my sister? “And I was serious when I said you couldn't have both of us,” I replied firmly, watching his eyes. “You can only choose one of us…me or Val?”

Matt’s POV

I couldn’t believe my luck. Two fucking nightS in a row. I had the worst blue balls known to man. Everything had been going so well last night and then Michelle just fucking froze. What even happened? Did I do something wrong? I just didn’t understand and every time I tried to talk to her about it today, she avoided me. But she couldn’t avoid me forever. We were lab partners in Chemistry so she had to work with me and not sit on the opposite side of the room. And you better believe I was going to take that time to find some answers. Damn it, she wasn’t going to get away from me again!

“Yo Sanders, wait up!” The Rev calls, sprinting up behind me. He has that shit-eating grin on his face and I know that it never leads to anything good. I loved the crazy bastard like a brother, but he always had some crazy idea or plan to share with me.

“What’s up, Rev?” I ask, earning a smile from him.

“I was just wondering if you had thought about a stage name yet? Plus, I have a song that I’ve been working on!” he gushes and I just nod.

“Yeah, actually I have. I’m going to be M. Shadows,” I say proudly, thinking of Michelle in the process. Damn, I wish she would fucking talk to me so I could figure out what happened there. Did I offend her in some way? It was then that I saw her standing by her locker.

“M. Shadows? That’s fucking awesome!” Jimmy screams but I’m already pushing past him down the hall. “Where are you going! We have so many secret missions to plan now!” He bellows down the hall at me but I just keep moving.

However, as soon as Michelle sees me, she turns around to head in the opposite direct. Fuck, what the hell is her problem? Now I was starting to get pissed and she really owed me some answers. You can’t just leave a guy hanging like that. It was just fucking rude. And most importantly I wanted to know if I hurt her so that I could apologize, but again that would require her talking to me.

At the last second, Michelle turned around and headed out the emergency door. I quickly turned to go after but in the last second someone grabbed my arm and roughly pushed me into the lockers.

“What the fuck?” I looked down to see Val standing in front of me with her hands on her hips, looking ultra pissed. Great, just what I needed – bitchzilla.

"What the hell did you do to my sister, Sanders?” she yells, taking a step towards me. Her eyes were narrow as she poked me in the chest with a dangerous glare.

“What?” I gape at her, not really having any idea what she was talking about. Did she know about Chelle and I? Had Michelle told her?

“You fucking heard me! What the hell did you do to my sister,” she said again, slowing down her words and talking to me like an infant. Oh, and the attitude that went with it. “What the hell is going on between you two?”

“We’re just friends,” I lie, only to be slammed back into the locker again. Damn, for such a little person, Val really had some force behind her. Was Michelle the same way?

“Bullshit, Sanders!” she yelled at the first bell rang. “You better start talking or I’m going to make your life a living hell!”

“You already do that so I guess it really doesn’t matter does it?” I say turning to walk away and head to class. I wasn’t about to tell her shit when I didn’t even know myself.

Notes

Next chapter... Things are heating up... What do you think?