Matt’s POV

“Are you sure this will work?” I asked Gates as we stood by the drink table, watching the Rev swing Jess around as they danced.

Seeing them together and so happy made me feel sick to my stomach with jealousy. Why was everyone fucking happy except for me? Well, maybe Gates wasn’t happy but at least he got to hear the girls’ voices, which was more than I’d gotten in the past three months. God I fucking missed her—everything from the way she crinkled her nose at me when I hugged her after a workout to the look in her eyes as we fell asleep together. It was like the other half of me just decided to call it quits and walk away and I didn’t know how you could live that way.

“Trust me, I’ve never seen the guy deny an opportunity to get a beef burrito,” Gates chuckled. “I think I saw a Taco Bell or something like it a few blocks away when we in the vans.”

“Did someone say Taco Bell?” Jimmy was suddenly standing next to me, looking at Gates and I with wide eyes. Okay, so maybe he was right.

Gates laughed and looked at me when he pulled Jimmy into a one armed hug. “Yeah, I was just thinking about venturing over. Do you want to—“

“YES!” Jimmy screamed, jumping up and down as he pulled Gates back into a hug. Those two really were something else. “When are we going? Now? I can already taste that beefy goodness. Now all I have to do is get my queen and then—“

I shot Gates a pointed look and shook my head behind Jimmy’s back. It would totally ruin the plan if they took Jess along. I needed her to get answers, that was the whole point of this, not some big party. “No!” I interrupted, Jimmy turning to face me with a raised brow.

“What he means is that the cab is waiting outside,” thank fucking god Gates was quick on his feet tonight. “We’re just going to grab takeout and bring it back so we can party.”

“But-but why don’t we just bring the fucking party with us?!” Jimmy protested, slinging his arms around us. “What is wrong with you two? Are you going soft on me? No fucking way I won’t except that and I will beat if out of you if I have to! One fucking drum stick at a time!”

Why was this motherfucker always so on top of things? Could he not question things for once in his life? Fuck, there was no use getting upset with Jimmy for being who he was just because I was in a bad mood. Though that seemed to be a common occurrence lately. I had been in a permanent bad mood ever since that call from Maya, even when I tired to forget about it. I was miserable and angry and I just wished I could see her to fix all this!

“Come on, let’s round up the gang for old time sake? Have some fun, cause some trouble, you know the drill,” Jimmy tried again and I groaned. “You know that Europe is the best fucking place for a party! Let’s do this!” He grabbed both Brian and I and started pulling us towards the door.

Normally we would have all piled into the van and invaded whatever establishment we wanted to eat at, not caring about the repercussions. It was probably why we had all been arrested so many times, but who was counting.

“No,” I groaned, running my hands over my face in frustration and putting on the breaks. Just fucking go to Taco Bell Jimbo and stop asking questions!

“Why not?” Jimmy glared me down with a pointed look, almost like he was reading my mind. The guy had the ability to read me like a fucking book and that scared the shit out of me sometimes. I just hoped he didn’t catch on to what I was actually up to. He would be pissed off at me for using Jess to get to the girls, who obviously didn’t want to talk to me. But I had to make them see reason and at least find out where they were. This little charade had gone on long enough.

“Well, shit on Shads because he is being a little bitch again today and doesn’t want to go out in public,” Gates said and I flipped him off, playing along. Jimmy stared at me with his mouth agape until Gates added. “He’s tired…like a fucking pussy.”

“YOOOUUUU WOONNT?!?!” Jimmy let out an obnoxious groan. “Well then I hope he doesn’t expect delivery because I won’t be Debbie downer’s delivery boy!” he screamed, throwing his arms up in the air. “Come on, Shads pull your head out of your ass and live a little! It’s time to fucking move on and have fun again!”

My brow furred at Jimmy as we stared each other down. Did he really just say that? Had he gotten that from Maya; that she was moving on and having fun without me? Fuck, that couldn’t be true because I still didn’t believe she didn’t love me anymore.

“Fuck you, Rev,” I hissed before turning and walking away. If Jimmy of all people thought I should move on then obviously all hope was lost. I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel on her but maybe I should. No, I wasn’t going to give up on us, no matter what anyone said! I’d show them! All of them, including her! We weren’t fucking over damn it!

“Come on, Shads, you know I didn’t mean it like that!” Jimmy called after me as I stormed away, only to run into both Jess and DJ sitting at the bar area.

“Why the long face, soldier?” DJ asked with a frown. She was a good friend to me as well as a decent lay, but no one I could ever seen myself happily settling down with. I made the right choice in ending our little ‘relationship’.

However, I didn’t pay her any mind, I just grabbed Jess by elbow and pulled her towards the back door. “I need to talk to you,” I half growled, though it wasn’t her I was upset with.

“Matt? Matt!” Jess said, finally pulling away from me once we were outside alone. “What is going on?” she looked slightly frightened as I paced back and forth, trying to control myself. Fuck, I knew I really wasn’t angry at Jimmy either. I was mad at myself for letting Maya get away and at her for giving up on us. We fucking promised each other we would stay together and she just threw it all away. Why? I had no fucking idea but I just needed to hear her voice—to know where she was so I could fix all of this!

I took in a deep breath and slowly blew it out. I needed to calm down so that I could talk to Jess in a civilized manner. “Are you still talking to the girls?” I asked after a few moments of silence.

Jess took in a sharp breath and raised her eyebrows, looking shocked at my inquisition. She quickly masked her features though and crossed her arms over her chest, appearing to size up my question. “What do you mean? Oh, come on Jess don’t play dumb! She knew exactly what I was talking about.

“Are you still talking to Maya and Avery?” I tried again but she just shook her head in the least convincing way possible. Jess was almost as bad a liar as Avery, which was really saying something but the little gnome was terrible at lying. “I know they are still talking to Zack and Jimmy, so that secret is out. Please, Jess…what do you know?”

Now it was Jess’ turn to sigh. “Not much actually,” she said softly, now avoiding my eyes. She acted like she was betraying the girls trust by talking to me but I didn’t see it that way. “They don’t really say too much…”

“Look, I don’t know what they’ve told you but whatever it was, it’s not true or was a mistake. God…” I ran my hands over my face as those haunting brown eyes appeared in my thoughts again. “I just fucking miss her and I want to make everything right again. I know she doesn’t really mean that she doesn’t love me anymore. So please…anything, Jess, anything…” I pleaded, literally ready to fall down on my knees and beg if I had to.

“Well,” she said apprehensively. “Shit they would kill me they knew I was doing this but…I know they are still going to school. That’s pretty much all they talk about lately.”

“Like what? Going out to parties at school?” I tried but Jess just sadly shook her head.

“No, as far as I know, they haven’t been out. They been working really hard…and Avery is a complete mess,” but what about Maya? “And I don’t know about M. You know she’s good at hiding what she really feels.” Jess shrugged, confirming my thoughts. She still acted like she didn’t think she should be telling me any of this but I was thankful she was.

“Do you have any idea where they might be?” I knew I was pushing my luck by asking all these questions, but that question alone was killing me.

Jess bit her bottom lip and glanced down at the floor. Come on, Jess, just tell me what you know. If only she knew what I was going through. I could tell she still didn’t really trust me and was definitely on Maya and Avery’s side, but she had to see that

“Please…Jess, I’m begging you here….do you know where they are?” I asked softly, feeling like this was hopeless. Of course she was going to side wit the girls and it didn’t matter how much I begged. She wasn’t going to tell me.

To my surprise Jess crossed her arms in front of her chest and let out a soft sigh. “I don’t know where they are,’ she said sadly, and I believed her. “They wont tell me but I do know they are in relatively the same time zone because of when they call and what they are doing.”

The same time zone? What did she mean they were in the same time zone? Last I knew they were in California and that was what, six or eight hours behind? Fuck, if they were in the same time zone then that meant they were in Europe. My eyes grew wide with that realization and I knew I had to hear Maya’s voice. If she was close by I could find her and make everything all right. I knew she wouldn’t talk to me if I called, but she would talk to Jess. So maybe if Jess called and I could hear her voice I could figure out where she was and relax a little know that she was okay.

“Will you call her?” I burst out, only to receive a confused look.

“What?” Her brow furred as she tilted her head to the side, obviously not following my line of thought.

“It’s not that late, specially if she’s in the same time zone as us. Just call her, please!” I was staring her down intently as my heart started to race with anticipation. I was so close to hearing her voice again that it wasn’t even funny. The only thing that stood between me and her was the push of a button.

Jess shook her head and took a step away from me. “No…I cant do that.”

“Why not?” I groaned, running my hands over my face.

“Because she doesn’t want to talk to you. I’m sorry but she’s made that blatantly clear for the past three or so months,” she replied and I felt like I had been slapped in the face.

“She doesn’t know what she’s saying! I can fix all this…besides I don’t even have to talk to her, I-I just want to hear her voice!” I was literally begging down, more than I ever had in my entire life.

“I’m sorry Matt,” Jess said shaking her head and heading toward the door. “I just cant do that to them. It wouldn’t be right. If they want to talk to you and Brian, they will call you. Until then, you’ll just have to wait,” and with that she headed back inside.

“Jess wait! Please!” I called after her but the door had already shut. “Fuck!” I raged, punching the brick wall to my left. This wasn’t at all what I wanted and now I was even more frustrated than before. Now what the hell was I going to do?

Avery’s POV

“So have you girls decided what you’re going to do after you graduate?” James asked as we walked towards my apartment. He had been a great distraction for the day, but I couldn’t help but feel like part of my wound had been cut open again.

I didn’t know why it bothered me so much for Brian to know about me going out, but it did. And as much as I hated to admit it, I wasn’t over him. Not by a long shot but I knew I needed to move on because he obviously had…with whoever that girl was. I had done everything in my power to avoid searching for him on the internet because I feared seeing him with someone else. That thought made the broke pieces of my heart ache.

I looked at him from the side to see him watching me carefully with a smile. This guy always seemed to be smiling, not that it was a bad thing. He had a gorgeous smile but it wasn’t the smile I wanted to see. No, Avery come on, get that thought out of your head.

“Um…not really…” I muttered, looking at the sidewalk. “We’ve just been trying to make it one day at a time, you know?” He had to have figured everything out by now but I was thankful he wasn’t asking questions. I wasn’t ready to talk about it to anyone besides Maya, and even then I wasn’t completely open. I was just lost and broken.

James nodded. “Gotcha…well, how would you and Maya feel about coming over to our place for our Asking Alexandria Friday night supper?” There was that smile again and it was contagious, I had to admit.

“You must be sick or something,” I chuckled, shaking my head. Only James’ smile turned into a frown.

“Excuse me?” His British accent was so cute. He looked a little shocked at my words, which only made me sigh.

“It’s just that you’ve spent almost twenty-four hours with me and I know I’m not the most fun right now…actually, I’m pretty much the opposite of fun and exciting. You don’t have to keep hanging around with me, James. I know you probably have things you’d rather be doing than hanging out with a girl with a-a….” I couldn’t bring myself to say ‘broken heart’ but he must have understood.

We stopped outside of the apartment door and James stared me down. I felt small and weak under his light brown eyes. “So you’re declining my offer then?”

“Declining what?” Maya’s voice called as she appeared next to me and pulled me into a hug.

“It’s just—“ I started but James cut me off with that cocky smile coming back over his face. Oh, he thought he was smart, did he?

“I invited you ladies over of the Asking Alexandria Friday supper. We each pitch in and get a good spread going and its loads of fun. We usually sit around, drink, eat, and watch some flick on the telly,” he said, Maya staring me down with a pointed look.

“We’re in!” Maya said, her dark eyes flashing back over toward James with a smile.

“You are?” James and I asked in unison, only my mouth was agape and he supported a huge smile.

“Of course we are!” Maya’s hand gripped dangerously tight around my waist as she pulled me into. “It sounds like a blast! What time does it start and where should we meet you?”

“Maya!” I hissed in her ear. Didn’t she understand that I just wanted to go lock myself in my room and put Jar of Hearts on repeat? I wasn’t feeling up to going to another hangout or party. I just wanted to deal with my pain in my own way.

“We usually start around seven and it’s at Ben’s house again. He has the biggest house so we can all crash if we drink to much or are just to fucking lazy to go home. So I’ll see you both at seven?”

“Sounds perfect, see you soon, James!” Maya waved after him while I went straight into the house, frustrated and slightly angry at Maya for not listening to me. Was it not enough that I had to put on a brave face all day instead of dealing with my emotions because James stayed with me? Sure he was a good distraction with his jokes and stories, but now I needed some time for myself, to deal with what happened last night.

I know James said nothing happened but what did he mean by that? That we didn’t go all the way? That we just fell asleep in the same bed together? Well, judging by the hickey on my neck and the way that my lipstick had been smeared this morning, I was going to guess we at least heavily made out. I just hoped that James wasn’t looking for something from be because I was in no state of mine right now to be dating anyone. We could be friends but that was it. I wasn’t ready to move on and even more so I was petrified to fall for anyone again—I didn’t want to be crushed.

As soon as I reached my bedroom, I locked the door and hit play on my itunes. And there was that song I had been craving all day. Jar of Hearts just seemed to speak to me and make me feel a little better, even if it drove Maya crazy. I moved over and flopped onto my bed, pulling my laptop with me. Maybe Maya would get the picture and leave without me and I could stay and do some more homework. It was a nice plan, but it didn’t work out.

“Avery Marie Jacobson! You open this door right now and you turn off that stupid song!” Maya yelled over the music some time later. I was surprised it took her that long to come try and drag me out. “Don’t make me come in there!”

Maybe if I was quiet she would go away? Nope, that didn’t work either because a minute later she was standing in my room and my music was shut off. That bitch must have picked the lock on my door! Damn it, I knew I should have gotten a deadbolt.

“Ave…come on!” Maya groaned, tackling me in my bed. She was all dressed up and looked like a million bucks, obviously ready to go to Ben’s house. I’m glad all of this seemed so easy for her but I couldn’t just shut off my feeling and pretend they didn’t exist. Had a lot of feelings and they definitely hurt.

“I don’t want to go,” I whined, hiding under the covers. “I just want to stay in bed...”

“You’ve spent enough time in bed and walloping around. You’ve been doing this for almost two months now and it’s time to move one, little gnome. It’s time to get that smile back on your face, and don’t pretend like you didn’t smile with James. I saw you smiling,” she said and I groaned, pulling the blanket down tighter over my head. “He has obviously moved on so you need to as well. Show him exactly what he is missing out on because, damn it, Ave you know he is starting to realized that. So get your hot little ass out of this bed and get ready for dinner. I am not cooking tonight and Ben said that Sam makes the best mac and cheese you’ve ever experience. Let’s go!”

With that she grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to the bathroom and started to curl my hair. “Maya…I’m just—“

“I know you are, Ave but its okay. Just have fun and let the pieces fall were they may. Please, Ave…just give it a try. I know it’s hard but I promise it will get easier,” she said giving me that motherly look in the mirror.

“How do you know it gets easier, M? He cheated on me and I found out with the whole world. There is no easy way to get over that feeling. At least you broke it off before you got hurt, I didn’t get that luxury,” I sighed and instantly regretted me words after they left my mouth.

“It wasn’t easy for me either,” Maya frowned and looked hurt as I looked up at her in the mirror. Now I felt like the worlds biggest jerk—I was the worst best friend lately. “It’s still not easy but I’m trying my best because I cant live like this anymore, Ave, and either can you. Its not healthy. Just think to last night! You were having a ball!”

I sighed and ran my hands over my face. “I also don’t know what I did last night which is another reason I don’t want to go to this party. All I know is that I woke up in bed with James with smeared lipstick, my dress half off, and this damn hickey!” I said pointing at it as I tried to cover it with makeup. “James said nothing happened…but—“

“You guys were just making out, little gnome and you were having fun, which is what’s most important. You weren’t thinking about douchebag and I wasn’t thinking about…well you know. It was good for us. So we are going again and it will be a good distraction for both of us. Now go put on something nice because right now we’re late.”

“Fine…but only because love you,” I sighed.

Ben’s POV

“I thought you said they were coming?” I said, pacing the room and checking out the windows. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Maya and how fucking good her lips tasted all day. She even inspired some lyrics but that was for another time. I knew she needed a distraction and I knew that I had just the thing and we both wanted it. She left me craving her and tonight I was going to close the deal with her, and that much I was certain.

“That’s what they said,” James shrugged, setting down the stack of plates. “Though Avery didn’t seem very keen on the idea. Did Maya tell you what was going on with that whole situation?”

I raised my brow at him as a smirk came over my face. So he hadn’t gotten any information out of the little one? Well that sucked for him, thankfully Maya is a talker when she is high and drunk. Not that she told me too much about her situation, but I heard the rest of the story.

“I don’t know,” I smirked, grabbing the bottle of whiskey and pouring a glass. “How much are you willing to pay?”

“Don’t be a dick, Bruce,” Cam said with an eye roll, his feet on the table. He looked amused by the whole situation. “And I think we should start fucking eating because I’m starving.”

“Worsnop isn’t here yet either so, hold your bloody horses, mate,” I laughed. These guys were the biggest group of assholes but I loved them dearly. “Anyway, what are you willing to pay for information, Cass?”

James rolled his eyes and sat down at the table. “What the hell do you want?”

“Oh, nothing…just a little guarantee that wont have any distractions tonight of the short and blonde kind…” I smirked wickedly as the guys, except for James, burst out laughing. They all knew what I was aiming at. So what if I was looking for a good lay? Everyone knew how I was so I didn’t need to explain myself—I just liked to have a good time and I knew Maya did too. We could be a great distraction for each other if you know what I mean. “Can you do that for me, Cassy boy?”

James chuckled and shook his head. “I can try but I cant promise anything. She’s a little bit of spitfire now,” and I didn’t believe that for a second. That wasn’t the Avery I had met—she was shy and timid. Had I missed something? Was I trying to score with the wrong girl?

“I know you have things you can do to keep her busy, at least long enough to seal the deal!” I said, swirling my drink around in the glass cup. “Is that a deal?”

“Deal…now tell me what you know,” James said and I smirked wickedly. Oh, he was going to have field day with that information.

“Gates cheated on her,” I shrugged, holding my hands up in the air. I was surprised when an angry expression came over his face. What did he actually care for the girl? It figured as much, he was that kind of guy.

“What?” he practically growled. Wow, now this was interesting.

“Yeah and the poor little lady found out through an online article,” I continued. “Apparently she cut everything off and hasn’t talked to him since. Guess that’s why she moved over here with Maya. That babe is on scholarship at fucking Oxford!” I said in awe and ignoring the look on Cassell’s face. He looked like he was ready to punch someone.

“That fucker, no wonder why she is a mess,” James said and I rolled my eyes.

“I bet you that if you gained her trust and fed her all those articles that she would be eating out of the palm of your hand in no time. You know, giving you a little something to get your dick waxed…”

“Fuck off, Ben. She’s not just some fucking toy, especially since you saw the state of her this morning.” James shot back and I rolled my eyes.

“Well you didn’t appear to have any problem with that last night when you were snogging and dry humping on my sofa,” I cut in just as I heard the front door burst open. “And I’ll bet you fuckers Worsnop has finally decided to grace us with his presence.”

A minute or two later he came in with his arms draped around Maya and Avery, though his lips were near Avery’s ear. She forced a smile but it was obvious that she wasn’t very impressed by whatever he was saying.

“And there is your chance to be prince charming,” I whispered to James, elbowing him in the ribs. “Welcome to the fucking Ben Bruce palace! Supper my now commence!” I announced, and took Maya’s hand, kissing it gently. “And the seat of honor is right here, babe.”

Notes

So Matt has a little clue as to where the girls are but will he keep pushing Jess for more information? Poor Ave is having an awful time with all of this! And will Ben succeed in his goal to seal the deal with Maya? Comments lovely readers! :)