Maya’s POV

My dreams were filled with strange scenes from the past, they were all mixed up and smashed together but in a wrong order, at least that’s what it looked like to me… in my still lazy and hazy dream state.

There was Ave and I going to the party where I first met Jimmy and the Avenged guys, then there was the party in the UK and me meeting Ben after Matt and my break up. And then in between all that was Matt, us being together, us fighting, making up and then there was Ben again, looking at me hurt and questioning what it was between us, and then him telling me that he loved me but the last image I saw how Matt’s lips oh so gentle pressed down on mine, and with that I woke up with a jolt.

I sat in the hotel bed and frowned, this wasn’t the room Ave and I had shared, and then the events of the last evening came crashing down on me, how I waited for Ave to tell me to come back to our room, waiting in the lobby and then Matt showing up, like the knight in shining armor, keeping me from a sleepless night in the lobby chair.

Matt and I had been talking a lot and he told me that he wanted to be my friend, I frowned, does he really mean that? Does he want to try us just being friends?
Would we even be able to do that?

And then he was trying to somehow fit in between those two chairs, which looked so uncomfortable that I would have never let him sleep in them…
So he had moved over to the bed, but I had been nearly asleep when he laid down beside me… so I just remembering how he reminded me about our breakfast appointment, I wouldn’t call it date, that would be wrong, and then…

Did I dream about him kissing me? Or had he actually pressed a kiss to my lips?
I licked my lips, as if that would give me any clue if it had been just my dreamy state or the truth, but nothing gave me a hint about it… my heart had sped up at the sheer thought and guilt washed over me as well, making me even more confused than before.

I deeply breathed in and out and let my eyes move to the side of the bed, seeing a still sleeping Matt beside me, he hugged the pillow and a small smile came over my face seeing him like that, one of his legs were nestled between mine and I just realized that, so I pulled my legs a little to the side to give him free reign again, he frowned in his sleep but then he turned to the side.

I looked down on myself and found the shirt Matt had given me, which was one of the few that had been lying on his bed, probably one he had been sleeping in. I pulled it up and allowed myself to smell on the collar, Matt’s unique scent wavered into my nose and I sighed.

This was not good, I shouldn’t have stayed the night in his room, Matt probably thought that this was a sign for us to start all over again, while I was still with Ben, god I was so confused about the whole situation that I didn’t know how to handle it, and now having Matt in the same bed as me, with only his shirt covering me…
A really dumb idea!

I quickly wanted to get up, when a hand grabbed my wrist pulling me back down, and my eyes immediately snapped to Matt’s now opened eyes.“Good morning, babe” Matt’s deep rumble sounded and a huge smile spread over his face.
His hand let go of my wrist and I tried hard to ignore the spark that his skin on mine had ignited between us.

“How did you sleep? I didn’t take away the blanket too much did I? I am not that used to have anyone sleep in my bed anymore” Matt smiled charmingly and gave me a wink and I had to swallow thickly, he said he wanted to be my friend, but that wasn’t friend’s behavior, was it?!

I decided just to leave it at that and gave him a small smile back, “No, you didn’t and thank you again for letting me sleep here.” I told him and grabbed my things from the floor beside the bed.

“We should get ready and leave for breakfast before everyone else is up and wants to spend their time with you and Ave” Matt pulled the blanket away, and my eyes move towards him, my eyes quickly taking in the view of his muscular and toned body and then I turned away, shaking my head quickly.

“Okay, yes. I will take a quick shower and when you are ready we can leave” I told him without another look back and headed for the bathroom.

After the shower and putting my clothes from the previous day back on I felt a little better, during the shower I was still confused about the whole night and the previous adventures but tried to push them to the back of my mind.

Matt had quickly made sure no one was around the hotel and saw us leaving, he was determined on spending the morning with me alone and I didn’t really know how I felt about that, but my heart began to pound a little faster, while I knew it shouldn’t.

About an hour later, Matt and I sat in a nice little bakery of his choice. When we had arrived there a whole table filled with all different kinds of foods and drinks was already set up for us and my stomach growled, making me aware that it really had been some time ago since I had a full meal.

“I’m really glad that you and Ave came to visit us, M. We missed you, and I am not only talking about myself.” Matt said and his hand touched mine over the table and I had to pull my hand away, afraid he really would get the wrong message.

“We missed you, too. I wasn’t lying about that Matt, and the talk that we had before you left, four weeks ago made me realize even more how much you and the rest of the guys felt like family to me… to us.” I admitted and Matt’s eyes softened a smile present on his face.

“But-” I continued and Matt’s smile wavered a little.
“What is it?” He asked and looked at me uncertain and I was afraid that this talk could head in the wrong direction, especially after the night together in his room.

“What you told me yesterday… do you… I mean, do you mean that?!” I asked Matt and he frowned “What do you mean? I think I said a lot yesterday” Another dimpled smile making me roll my eyes, “That you want to be my friend? Because… Matt right now, I can’t give you anything else beside that.” I said honestly, I didn’t want to let him think there was more.

Matt leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes for a moment, making me regret to ruin the easy mood we seemed to have at the moment, but I felt the need to let him know where we stood.
“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it, Maya. If that is what you can give me now, I will gladly take it…” His voice trailed off at the ending and I was sure he planned to say some more, but then stayed silent, but the feeling that he finished the sentence in his head was very clear.

“How about I take you out for a walk around the venue after we are done with breakfast, it’s a huge area and if your are staying, I want you to know where to find us, we could see if Jess is working… and then Jimmy could get his share of time, and later this evening we have this party planned, I heard the guys already wanting to split the dances between you and Ave…” Matt continued and I sighed in relief, he seemed to really mean it honestly, and I liked to think about spending the time with all our friends tonight.

“I’d love that, that sounds awesome… and after the venue I really need to go to my room and kick Gates out of there, cause I need some fresh clothes” I grinned and Matt chuckled “You better show up dressed up to the party, the guys will expect nothing less” Matt winked and I nodded “Yeah, the guys.. right?!”

The morning went over quickly, and even when it sometimes felt a little awkward, it was still so natural to talk to Matt about everything.When we walked around the venue I sometimes felt him struggling with himself, he planned to lay his arm around me but then refused to in the end… at least that’s what it looked like…

When we were on our way back to the hotel, I laughed at something Matt said when my phone began to ring, I pulled it out of my pocket and even before I could say something Matt had a sad expression on his face but motioned for me to take it, him apparently guessing who it was.

“Hey” I said after picking up and heard Ben’s response immediately “Hey love… how was your first night?” He asked and I smiled sheepishly, “My night…” I looked at Matt from the corner of my eyes and I think I saw a small smirk on his lips but I quickly looked away again.

“Good… The hotel is nice… But today will probably be the first day when we really be able to discuss something with Zack… Yesterday was more like a saying hi to everyone and really arriving.” I told him honestly and Ben sighed.

“That’s good.. I guess… Damn, I miss you, love… I’m not going to deny it, I feel like shit without you, but I hope you can quickly settle everything… oh and another thing… is Ave near?” Ben asked and made me frown, what does he want from Ave?

“Not right now… why?” I asked and Ben sighed even more, and I knew from the way he acted he was probably running his hands through his hair in frustration.
“She hadn’t told James that she left… He was here and kinda freaked out… Can you, I mean… Can you tell her to call him at least?” Ben asked and I felt bad right away, I hadn’t even thought about that and hadn’t asked Ave if she talked to James before leaving.

“Shit, really? I will tell her, don’t worry… I didn’t know, but I’ll let her to call.” I said and saw Matt holding the door open for me, we were already at the hotel.
“Good, that’s good… So what are your plans later on?” Ben asked and I heard the frustration in his voice again and I was debating with myself to lie to him or tell him the truth.
“We are invited to a party with everyone tonight, it will be nice to see everyone again and be able to have a small talk to catch up” I said honestly and heard only silence on the line.

“Ben? You still there?” I asked when there still was no sound.
“Yeah, I’m here…” He sounded sad and my heart broke a little “What are you doing tonight?”
“We will be in the studio today… Cam said he will make some mean drinks for us later on… and we will be trying to write some more songs…Same old same old” Ben said and I smiled “Sounds good, will you play something for me later on? Maybe?” I asked and heard a chuckle.

“If we will really get to some writing, sure… Should I call you later on? Or will you when you are back?” Ben asked “I’ll call you, okay?”
“Perfect, then we talk later… Love you, M” Ben said and I closed my eyes, how to reply?
“Until later, babe” I said before hanging up and when I opened my eyes I saw Matt’s staring at me, his eyes burning in mine.

“I’ll head up to my room and get ready for later, thank you for taking me out to breakfast and showing me around, Matt. I really appreciate it. Now, I need to see how Ave is doing… Will you pick us up for the party?” I asked Matt trying to quickly get away from the topic and situation. Matt took a moment to answer “Sure, yeah… I’ll be at your room around seven.”

Brian’s POV

I had never slept this good and bad at the same time… It was a weird feeling. I mean I was waking up every few minutes just to make sure Avery was still with me, I had her still tightly clutched into my arms, always drawing the blanket back up over her, afraid she might freeze, and then when my thoughts calmed down, that she indeed was here with me, the thought of the future and what… what might be growing inside of her came to my mind and that freaked me out a little bit.

I never been the father type, at least I never thought of myself that way, of course I have a little sister but that’s something different.
I never even planned on having kids and especially not anytime soon… and now, that might be turned upside down right about now.
If Ave was pregnant, if… if a child was growing inside her, it was mine… and we would… I would take full responsibility for it, of course I would.

But that doesn’t mean I could just accept the thought of everything that would bring fatherhood with it… It is a scary thought and that wouldn’t pass that easily, but then…
My eyes opened up again, and the morning light was shining through the open curtains of the hotel suite, bathing Ave’s face in the early red morning light, god I never felt happier then to watch her sleep, to be able to pull her even tighter into my form…

Never have I thought just a day ago, that I would see her again, ridiculous even to have her in my bed, have her this close… have her on the verge to be with me again?
I mean… that’s what we were talking about yesterday, right?
We still had feelings for each other, that was more than obvious, and the slow and sensual kisses that we shared were more than just a small indices.

My eyes moved to my hand that rested on her belly, was there really a little Ave or Brian growing inside there? A living being? My responsibility? Could I even take care of a kid?
How would the rest of the band react, knowing I would become a father? What would we do with the band?

Do I have to quit? Would they go on without me? Avenged Sevenfold throwing out Syn Gates?
No, fuck… these are my friends, we would manage, right? Ave could still come along… I mean, we could manage, others do that as well… We weren’t the first… It’s just a matter of-

My heart was beating so fast, my palms getting sweaty at all the thoughts that were going through my head, but when Ave’s eyes suddenly opened and met mine, a small smile on her face when her eyes focused on me, all those thoughts vanished and I knew, we still had enough time to worry about that, now I should be glad to have her here, we would find a way… together we would manage.

“Hey” She said softly, and I placing a small kiss on the tip of her nose as reply.
“How did you sleep?” I asked her when she began to stretch next to me and she smiled “Good, really good” and I had to smile, I liked to hear that, knowing she was feeling so good with me.
“Perfect… You know what?” I asked and Ave’s questioning eyes met mine “What?” She replied chuckling.

“I was thinking we get ready real quick, get some breakfast enjoy the silent morning, just us two and then get this test, like I promised yesterday, we will do that together, you and me, all the way, Ave” I told her and looked deeply into her eyes.

“Yes, that sounds good… And I am really glad that… that you are with me, Brian. I have no idea what I would be doing without you… I’m so scared” Ave said and cuddled closer into my chest, and I buried my face in her hair, breathing her in before we would move out into the world, making everything real again.

When Ave and I were done with grabbing our breakfast, I had noticed her pulling her phone out from time to time, “Is everything alright?” I asked her and Ave looked a little ashamed.
“I.. don’t get this wrong Brian, please… I kinda forgot to tell James that I left… now he keeps calling and writing that he is concerned… but I don’t… I mean I can’t really tell him...” Ave said and I felt a small ping of jealous inside of me but pushed it away, she was with me, and I didn’t have anything to worry about right now.

“If you want me to take care of that… I will” I suggested and I would gladly do that, but Ave shook her head “No, I’ll write him a message later on… I just don’t have a head for that right now.”
Her phone kept on buzzing from time to time and if he would keep that up, I would take action and solve that problem for her.

After that we moved around town and at the end we finally landed inside the next drugstore we could find to get a pregnancy test, I stood together with her in front of the shelf, so many different choices, which one was the one that would be the best? How is someone supposed to know which one?!

Ave finally made the decision and looked as uncomfortable as I felt, but I wouldn’t let her see that, I laid my arm around her waist and pulled her in my side.
After we paid and went back to the hotel room, my heart started to pound faster, with each step getting closer to the hotel room I thought my knees were getting shakier and shakier.

“I’m afraid” Ave swallowed and her eyes filled with tears “Ssshhh babe, don’t be. Everything will be fine, don’t worry. No matter what this tests says, I’ll be here… and I will be staying.” I told her again and Ave moved up to go to the bathroom. I followed behind her and she was about to close the door in my face when I stopped her “Wait… I mean-”
“Brian, you won’t be coming in here.” Ave looked at me shocked and I frowned “But I need to-”
“You will wait here, when I’m done I’ll come out and we wait together” With that Ave closed the door in my face and I began pacing.

How long would something like that take? I asked myself and when Ave finally came out probably 5 minutes later it felt for me like an hour.
“And?” I quickly asked and Ave rolled her eyes, while her hands were holding the test.
“We need to wait now 5 minutes, set the alarm, then we know what’s up” Ave said and I quickly set the alarm clock, we sat down on the bed, and I pulled Ave onto my lap, we didn’t say anything, just stared ahead in silence until the alarm let us both jolt up in shock.

Ave took the test and looked down on it, her face was unreadable and then she frowned and sighed, her eyes closed, was that a good or bad sign?!
“What?” I asked and Ave shook her head “What? What does it mean?” I asked again.
“Nothing… it didn’t work” Ave said quietly and I frowned “What do you mean?”I took the test from her hands and read through the manual and then frowned down at the test again.

“We don’t even have a control line… this son of a bitch didn’t even work! How can they sell shit like that!” I raged and looked at Ave, she looked pale again and I regretted my behavior.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled… I just… Fuck! This doesn’t change anything. You know these test, they know shit. We will go to a doctor, like I told you… As soon as the tour is done, we will go to the best doctor I can find, then we are sure… no more stupid tests.” I grabbed Ave’s hands in mine and made her look in my eyes.

“Ave? Okay?” I put a hand on her cheek until she finally met my eyes and nodded “I mean it Ave, I won’t let you leave my side anymore. You will stay here, and you will stay with me, I will keep you as close as humanly possible, at all time.” I placed a small kiss on her lips when a knock on the door sounded making us rush apart.

“AVE!” Maya’s voice sounded “Open up please… we need to get ready for the party” Maya again.
“AVE?!” I sighed “And I will move you over to my room, so we won’t be interrupted anymore.” I said before opening the door to a waiting Maya.

After I made sure Ave was fine and Maya would take care of her for a couple of hours I left her room and decided to make the arrangements right away, so someone would take care of moving Ave’s suitcase to my room.

When that was done, I quickly took a shower and got ready for the party, while I was thinking of that, I had to make sure Avery was perfectly fine at all times.
And we needed to make sure no one knew what was up, before we were sure what was really going on…

I walked back towards Ave’s and Maya’s room and knocked on the door waiting for them to open up.
When Maya opened up I smiled at her and told her the first thing that came to my mind “I will move Ave over to my room, I want to take care of her” I told her and Maya narrowed her eyes “You sure?” She asked and I nodded “More than that, don’t worry.”

“Fine, Ave is ready… I need a moment still… but come in… Matt will come over as well” Maya said and opened the door wider to let me in. I smiled a little, so Matt was acting his moves as well, good job bro.

Maya vanished into the bathroom and I walked up to see Ave standing between the bed and the windows, looking out, she was wearing a tight fitting black skinny jeans, hugging her body perfectly and a shirt with a cleavage that drew my eyes right away.

I swallowed thickly, realizing just what her body did to me “Damn… babe” I couldn’t keep my eyes away from her, when another thought crossed my mind.

I walked up to her, when she turned to me, I let my hands wander to her belly. “You should wear something else.. I mean… Isn’t this too tight, I don’t want… what if this is too…” I tried to put my hand between her belly and the hem of her jeans when Ave frowned “Brian… it’s okay… it’s not too tight.” She chuckled a little and I frowned down on her, “Sure…I mean… how about some sweat pants…” She laughed even louder “Brian please… Sweat pants, don’t be silly”

A knock on the door sounded and Maya opened up, showing Matt.
“You look fabulous, babe” Matt said and then moved over to us “And you too, Ave. Have to say it again, blonde suits you, oh and what’s so funny? I heard you laughing outside?!” Matt asked after greeting us and now I had to keep my quiet, no wanting to let anyone know what was really up between Ave and me, not until we were sure… if… if we were going to be parents.

“Brian was just being silly” Maya added, knowing just how bad of a liar Ave was and I was just too stunned to say anything. “We are ready, if you are?” Maya asked and I saw Matt laying his arm around her waist, but Maya pulled away, then Matt’s hands balled to fists but he soon regained his control again.

When we arrived at the party, that was a pure stress test for me, I never thought just how nerve wrecking one of our party’s could be.
And it was just the freaking beginning!

“Let’s start off with some shots! Because finally our lost family members are back!” Matt Berry announced handing each of us a drink, and Ave looked at me panicked from the side, oh shit.

I haven’t thought at all about how this party would be with her being not able to drink… and well party, so I took the drink from her and drank it myself, handing her quickly the empty glass back, hoping no one noticed, but soon Jason handed her another drink, and then Jimmy… and that was going on and on, and Ave just put the full bottle on this table, and then we went over to the next table, leaving a trail of full bottles and glasses.

When the others and me included had a slight buzz going and the talking and catching up was past us, I quickly grabbed Ave in a close hug, I didn’t want to share her with anyone, not her attention and not anything.
She was mine, and there might be the alcohol speaking, but there might be a little Ave or Brian inside of her, so I had to protect what’s mine right?

What if someone would bump into her? Or make her trip? What if Ave would fall? Oh my god, I had to get her out of here! This place was a fucking disaster!

“Ave, babe… we should leave… you need some rest” I said and realized, that was true, she had been up way too long already, she must be exhausted, didn’t pregnant women need to sleep much? Fuck, I had no idea!

“Gates! What do you think you are doing?!” MB called “You aint planning to leave already? You just been here for an hour or something… We have some more plans ahead of us! And I barely saw Ave drinking anything?! What’s up with that?” He questioned and my slow and concerned brain wasn’t really working, shit… this was not good.

“Ave had a real bad hangover, a couple of days ago, MB… Let her be, she swore off alcohol for a few days… She will come around again, you know how stubborn she can be” Maya cut in, while she was being swirled around by Jimmy.

That was actually the first time I saw her without Matt hanging over her, oh there he was, staring at the scene before him, not very pleased as it seemed.
While I was thinking about that, I felt Ave’s hand slip away from mine, and she was in Johnny’s arms dancing around, and I swallowed thickly, no no no, that’s not about to happen.

I pushed my way through the crowd and grabbed Ave right out of Johnny’s arms “What the fuck, Gates?!” Johnny demanded and I narrowed my eyes on him “I just got her back… I am not willing to share yet” I said and Johnny lifted his eyebrows but then let go, seeming to get the intense stare I was giving him, but he wasn’t the only that watched me, but I didn’t give a damn.

“Another round of shotssss!” Jason yelled and we all moved back to the table getting our shots and I was thinking how much longer do I and Ave really have to stay before I could get her out of her and tuck her safely in bed with me?!

“Ave, come on… Just one!” Jason demanded and I took the shot from him, “Thanks” I quickly drank it, so Ave didn’t have to reply and Jason looked at me confused “What the hell, Gates…”
“What? I’m thirsty… Hey babe, you wanna sit down maybe?” I asked concerned earning some more weird looks but right now, I couldn’t really care, it was more important for me to make sure Ave was feeling good as was the little thing growing inside of her.

“Brian, I’m feeling good. You don’t have to… have to be so overprotective, or everyone will know what’s up. It’ good… really” Ave patted my cheek lightly and I sighed, but…
“Ave, you saved a dance for me?” Zack stood beside us and I really hated my friends this evening, couldn’t they leave us alone for a couple of hours… fucking please!

Notes

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