Ben’s POV

God damn it! I had fucked up so bad and I had no idea how to fix it. What the hell was wrong with me anyway? Why couldn’t I just keep a level head when it came to shit like this? Though it wasn’t like I really had any other experience in a relationship. Maybe I just wasn’t built for them or programed the right way? But I couldn’t let Maya go. She meant too damn much to me and I had to fix. I had to make it right.

I ran my hands over my face and walked up to the bar with James and Cam. I needed something strong if I was going to survive this night. Hell, just thinking about Maya was making my dick rage in my pants and my heart race. I fucking wanted her back with so bad.

“Relax and just talk to her,” James said, clapping my shoulder after taking a sip of his drink. He had been looking a little bit worse for wear today. Had blondie finally decided to stop dangling him about? Or was he still waiting like a good body? If was him I would have talked her into it when she was wasted. She was always so gullible, especially with a little pot. But James always took the moral high ground, which is why he was still waiting. What the worst that will happen? She’ll leave again?” He pulled the glass of scotch to his lips with shrug.

“Don’t be a dick, Cassells,” I hissed, taking a double shot of Patron. The liquid burned all the way down but it helped to numb part of what I was feeling.

Just talk to her? Yeah, like it was that fucking easy to get though to her? I scoffed and threw back another shot. Why couldn’t Maya just fucking forget about Matt and tell him to take a hike. But no! They had to talk shit out and make everything all right between them! It was just fucking bullshit! She belonged with me, not him! After my third shot, I headed toward the back room with two pitchers of beer and a bottle of Jack.

“Just text her…tell her you want to meet,” James slurred a little while later, pushing my phone towards me. “Tell her you miss her and you’re sorry. That always fucking works.” Maybe he was right. I did need to fix this and since she wouldn’t answer my calls, maybe she would agree to meet me later so we could sort all this out.

Don’t let something like that ruin what we have, love. We need to talk, I don’t wanna lose you. Ben

I typed out and tossed my phone back on the table, hoping she would respond. Damn, she was the only thing I thought about anymore and if I lost her I didn’t know what I’d do. I had to get her back and make her see how good we were together. And thank fucking god my phone pinged a few minutes later with a message.

You are right., let’s meet tomorrow at your place around ten. Today I’m spending my day with Ave, we are working on our designs. Maya

I read the message over a few times with a smile on my face. Okay, so she was at least going to meet me so that we could fix this thing. And what time was it now? Shit, it was well after one and I had to be awake, sober, and presentable in a few hours so I really had to get out of here.

I quickly threw some bills on the table and hightailed it out the door. The cool evening air hit me and I pulled my jacket around me tighter. I would usually call a cab but I thought a nice walk home would really do me some good and help me clear my mind. Not to mention I needed to figure out what to tell Maya.

By the time I reached my house, I had a list of things I wanted tell her, starting with an apology for this morning. I was a little out of line, even though she really shouldn’t have been talking to her ex. There was just something about Sanders that always pissed me off and I couldn’t stand the way he looked at her or she him. In my opinion, that look was reserved for me. I just couldn’t wait for them to get the hell out of our country and go back home, especially since Maya had agreed to stay with me. Had she changed her mind?

I tossed and turned the entire night, trying to turn off my brain but every time I closed my eyes those beautiful brown eyes were haunting me. It was almost like she was punishing me for being a dick and her eyes were the reminder of what I had lost. But I couldn’t let go…I wouldn’t. Maya meant too much to me and I needed to prove that to here.

So by the time the sun came up I was wandering around the kitchen with a cigarette between my lips. I had to make this perfect and what better way to start out a meeting than with breakfast? And I pulled out all the stops on this one and made James’ secret stuffed French toast and I knew she was going to love it.

Just as I set the island table I heard the front door opened followed by the familiar sound of Maya’s footsteps. “Good morning,” I said with a smile as I ran my hands over my black shit. I hoped that I hadn’t gotten any shit on in the process.

“Hey,” she said with a weak tone, though her eyes were scanning the area. Maya took in a slow inhale and I could tell she was picking up the delicious aroma that was filling the area. “Is that coffee and French toast?”

“Yeah, I thought maybe you’d be hungry,” I said, offering her a cup and a seat but she just stood where she was. “I already ate,” Maya looked at me and my smile slowly faded off my chest, the awkward tension building in the room between us. Okay, Bruce it was time to man up and get this over with.

“Look, Maya…I’m sorry,” I sighed, dropping my hands in front of me. “I was a dick the other day and I had no right to go off on you…” I admitted, though I still didn’t like the idea of her hanging out with Shadows but now wasn’t the time for that discussion. “I was just worried about you and was really looking forward to spending the day with you…and when I woke up you weren’t anywhere to be found.”

Maya sighed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you in the note that I was going to meet Jimmy and like I said…I didn’t plan for anything else or anyone else to show it…it just happened,” she said and I took a cautious step toward her. To my relief she didn’t pull away when I pulled her into my arms.

“I know,” I sighed. “And my biggest problem was that I thought I was losing you and I was the world’s biggest pratt…but the truth is Maya…I need you in my life. You make me feel like you’re the only one that matters to me and you cant deny that what we have is good. Its good for both of us,” I tried to explain, pulling her into my eyes. “So please forgive me for being a douche…I’m sorry….”

Maya sighed and slowly wrapped her arms around me before a smile appeared on her lips. “I promise I will make it up to you…” I cooed in her ear but she still looked uncertain. “I’ll get down on my fucking knees and beg if I have to, M. Please!” and I literally was begging now. Would that matter? “You mean so much to be babe and I don’t want to let you go…please.”

“Ben I—“ I carefully took Maya’s face into my hands and pressed a kiss to her lips, letting her feel exactly how much she meant to me.

“Maya, I care so much about you and cant deny that there is something between us,” I whispered, feeling goosebumps travel down her arms. “Please…stay with me…I need you…”

Before I could say anything else, Maya stood up on her tiptoes and pressed another kiss to my lips and slowly pulled away. “Okay…but you you’re going to have to make it up to me,” she smirked and I liked where this was headed. “But no more out rage and demanding where I am, okay? That only pisses me off and makes me want to kick you in the ball.”

“Message heard,” I nodded, moving my hands down her sides.

“And like I told you before, things are over and you are my now,” she said and those were words enough for me. I quickly slid my hand into the back of Maya’s hair and reeled her into me, showing her ever inch of my affection for her. There was no deny that I was into this girl pretty damn deep…and I couldn’t let go of her. Not now, not ever.

The next few weeks passed rather smoothly with Maya back at my side, but I couldn’t help but notice a smile divide between us. She was there and going through the motions of our relationship but it just felt like something was missing. So naturally, I distracted her at every given opportunity but whenever we were having a quiet moment, I could see her drifting. Something was off.

“So what do you want to do today, love?” I asked, rolling over on top of her in bed and looking down at her. “We’ve got some studio time booked. Do you want to come hang out with us?”

Maya’s grew distant for a moment before she shook her head. “Yeah…what sorry?” she muttered, blinking a few times. What was she thinking about? I wish she would just come clean and take to me sometimes, or better yet that I could read her mind.

“I said,” I mumbled between kisses on her neck. This would surely get her to focus. With each nibble and little kiss she let out a soft moan. “Do you want to come to the studio with me today?”

“Mmm…I don’t know, I told Ave I would meet up with her. We are still working on some design stuff you know,” she hummed, slowly pulling away from me after placing a kiss on my lips.

“Well why don’t you bring her along? I know James would like to see her too,” I offered but she just shook her head. What the hell? Was she not going to spend any time with me now? It seemed like every time I had something for us to do, she found some way to go hang out with blondie.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea…but I’ll tell you what. How about Ave and I make you guys dinner?” she asked and a smirk came over my face.

“I’d like it better if you just you made me dinner…” I purred in her ear, making her giggle lightly.

“I bet you would…” Maya laughed as she sat up and playfully pushed my shoulder. “But really I think it would be fun. Plus we have that party tomorrow night at Sam’s house.”

“Of course, the March Madness party,” I smirked, knowing that was always a party for the record books. “You’ll fucking love that! It’s like all the crazy shit stories that we tell all year come from that party,” I explained just as Maya’s phone started to ring. I sighed when she got up out of bed to get it. “Really, M?”

She held up a finger to me as she answered and her face instantly dropped. What the hell was wrong with blondie now? I could hear the sobs from here and I just rolled my eyes. Good fucking morning to you too!


Avery’s POV

“I know, Zacky please…just tell him I called again,” I sighed into the phone. It had been two weeks since the guys had left the UK and I still hadn’t heard from Brian. What the hell happened? I know I missed our meeting but come on, my phone died! Was that really reason not to talk to me, especially after that text begging for another chance? I explained it all in the text I sent him! Did he change his mind? I was just so confused in all of this and I really wanted to know what happened.

I heard Zacky sighed on the other end of the line through all the commotion on his end. They must have been in the airport or setting up the stage. Hell, I didn’t know where they were or what they were doing—everyone was beating around the bush with me. Had I done something wrong? “I’ll tell him but every time I bring you up, he changes the subject.”

“Well do you know what his problem is? Did I do something wrong? I mean, I agreed to meet him…I-I just missed his time because my phone died,” I said with a frown, my heart feeling heavy. It was like he had gotten my hopes up and then crushed me again in an instant, only I didn’t know why.

Zacky sighed again and by his tone I could tell that he was pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I have no idea and honestly I really don’t want to get in the middle of it. I love you, Ave but I can’t force him to talk about what’s bothering him. You know how he is.” Great, another dead end…

“Well what am I supposed to do?” I whined, slumping down at my desk just as a text alert sounded. I swear to god if that was James asking me again about the party tomorrow night I was going to scream! I already told him that we could go together as friends so what more did he want? Did I mention I had been really irritable lately? “I mean, I’ve tried everything…calling, texting, and begging you, Jimmy, and Jess…I just don’t know what else to do,” I grumbled hitting my head on the desk.

“I don’t know what to tell you, sweetheart,” and there was that sympathetic tone that I couldn’t stand. God, I just wished he’d fucking man up and talk to me already! What the fuck?! “But hey, we’ll be home in California in three and a half more weeks if they don’t add any more dates,” he said, and from what I’d heard from my dad and the news, Avenged had extended their European tour an additional two weeks. “Will you be there?”

That was the question wasn’t it? Maya and I still hadn’t really decided on anything but I sure as hell wasn’t going to stay over here. I’d go back to Huntington Beach and start the business by myself if I had to, though I didn’t think it would get that far. I just had to get Maya to finally talk to me about it. She had been avoiding the topic though she wasn’t the only one that was avoiding certain things.

“Let’s see in three weeks? God I hope so…I’m so sick of the weather here its not even funny,” I sighed only to hear Zacky laugh.

“Now you sound like Shads and Gates. All they do is bitch about the weather,” he chuckled and my heart ached a little bit with the mention of Brian. Damn, why did I believe that he would change? “But if you hate it so much why are you still there.”

“Maya,” we both replied at the same time, Zacky obviously realizing the answer after he asked it. “And she wants to stay here for some reason or another…but I can’t. I’m going crazy here now that school is over. I just want to go home, start our business, and make some money,” I said, moving my hands as I spoke.

“Well, I think I can help you with one of those.” I raised my brow at Zacky’s words. How was he going to help me with any of that? He was stranded in Europe too! Man, I really needed to stop being so irritable. What was my deal lately? This wasn’t me!

“Oh, yeah? How’s that, Z?” I scoffed, spinning around the chair, only to feel a wave of nausea hit. God, that needed to stop too. I must be coming down with some kind of bug, that’s all I could think of.

Zack chuckled on the other end of the line before it got really quiet on his end. He must have moved into a more private location. What were they doing? “Well, what do you think about working for VU for a while as a designer? We need some fresh ideas and the stuff you and Maya created is sold out.”

“No way!” I gasped, sitting up straight again and feeling my heart race with excitement. “You’re kidding right now, right?”

“Why would I do that? Those designs you made were fucking brilliant, Ave. So what do you say? You could meet us back in Huntington Beach and you could get started. Hell, I’ve got a spot for Maya if she wants it too.” I couldn’t believe my ears or wipe the smile off my face. Maybe this was the kick-start Maya and I needed to start our own business! And maybe, just maybe, help Maya get her head back in the game and out of Ben’s ass. She had made up with the jackass but I knew it wouldn’t last. They just seemed too forced in my opinion.

“Of course! When are you due back?” I asked excited, looking up at my calendar on the wall and flipping it over to the end of April. However, as I went to turn the page my breath hitched in my throat when I saw what week of the month it was. No…It couldn’t be…

I quickly flipped the calendar back to March and looked at the big red circle around the week of the 15th, and counted four week forward. My jaw dropped as I gapped at the calendar. My period should have happened a week ago! Oh god…I was going to be sick…

“Ave? Are you still there?”

“I-I…I gotta go…I’ll call you back later,” I stammered before hanging up the phone and darting to the bathroom. No, this couldn’t be right! I had been taking my birth control right along and I hadn’t gone straight through my placebos and started a new pack without realizing it, had I? This had to be some kind of miscalculation on my part…there was no way that I was late, or worse pregnant.

I shakily opened the vanity drawer and pulled out my pack, my heart racing a mile a minute. “No…no…no…no…” I moaned, shaking my head as I looked down at the medicine. How could I have missed my period and not even realized it? I mean, okay there had been a lot going on between James, Brian, Maya, and the Asking guys over the past two weeks but did I really miss this?

I slowly collapsed down the floor, the proof sitting in my hands. This couldn’t be happening to me! Not now! “This wasn’t supposed to happen!” I cried, putting my head in my hands and letting the tears fall. I was only twenty-three. I wasn’t ready to start a family, let alone one by myself. But maybe it wasn’t what I thought it was…maybe I was just late?

Yeah, that was it! I was just late and I would prove it! Oh god, that means I’d actually have to buy one of those tests! I bit down on my bottom lip, feeling mortified at the idea but I knew it was the only way to get some peace.

Without thinking twice, I grabbed my wallet and my shoes and raced to the convenience store down the street, praying that I didn’t see anyone I knew. The last thing I needed was for someone to see me and tell the world, or worse my dad. Shit, what would he think if I was pregnant? And what about Maya? I mentally kicked myself about not telling her about my night with Brian but hopefully I wouldn’t have to worry about any of that. I would just get the test, take it, and move on with my life, or at least that’s what I was telling my self to keep it together in the store.

Ten minutes later I was back in my bathroom, pacing back and forth in front of the vanity and watching the clock on the wall. Damn this was the longest two minutes of my life but with any luck I would be in the clear. Then I would commit myself to celibacy because there was no way I was going through this again, not until I was ready.

As the clock on the wall struck 3:47, I took in a shaky breath and closed my eyes. “Please be negative, please be negative, please be negative,” I muttered to myself as I turned around only to see a big fat pink plus staring back at me.

I gasped for air as I sunk to the ground with the test in my hands, the oxygen just not finding it’s way into my lungs. No, this couldn’t be happening…not from one night in six months. I shook my head while I looked down at the stupid test, my eyes pooling with tears and struggling to breath. God, I was going to be sick! I quickly dived over to the toilet and emptied the contents of my stomach, feeling worse and worse by the second.

What was I going to do? I couldn’t have a baby! Hell, I could barely take care of myself on a good day so how the hell this going to work?! I flushed the toilet and crumbled into the fetal position on the floor, shaking as I sobbed. I couldn’t do this! And I really couldn’t do this alone… I needed someone…

With a shaky hand I reached out and grabbed my phone off the floor and called the one person I knew I could trust. “M-M-Maayyyaa?!” I sobbed into the phone when she picked up on the second ring. Her voice sounded slightly frustrated but it immediately changed when she heard my voice.

“Oh my god, Ave what’s going on? Are you okay?!” she sounded scared but she couldn’t anywhere near as terrified as I was right now. “Where are you?”

“I-I…” I couldn’t bring myself to say the words that I feared the most right now. Somehow I feared that if I said them aloud that it would make it true and I wasn’t ready to believe it yet. “I-I neeeed you!” I finally got out as I heard a car start.

“I’ll be there in five minutes, little gnome. Are you home?” Maya asked as an engine floored.

“Y-y-yeeess…”

“Okay, I’m nearly there, just hold on,” she promised before the phone line went dead. Within minutes I heard the front door open followed by Maya calling my name. Though it didn’t take long for her to find me crumpled on the floor in the bathroom. “Hey…shh…it’s okay, little gnome…talk to me,” she said pulling me into her arms and gently petting my hair. “What’s wrong? Is it you’re dad?”

“No…I-I…” I stammered, not able to get any coherent words out. So I didn’t the only thing I could, I reached behind me and handed Maya the test. “What is….” Her dark eyes got wide as she looked down at the stick in her hand. “Shhh…it’s okay,” she said pulling me back into her arms and shaking her head.

After a few minutes, I calmed down a little bit and whipped some of the tears from my eyes. “Ave…how is this even possible?” Maya finally asked, watching me carefully. “I mean…Did you sleep with James?” She looked so confused and I just groaned and hid my face in my hands. Oh, god here it was. “It’s okay if you did. I just wish you would have told me because—“

“I-I didn’t sleep with James,” I sighed, shaking my head as I took a ragged breath. She was going to kill me for keeping this from her but I just couldn’t find the right time or the right way to tell her. I just couldn’t talk about it because I didn’t know what was going on myself. I still didn’t…

“What?” Maya questioned, looking at me with a confused look. “Who the hell did you have sex with? Please don’t tell me you hooked up with Danny or something stupid like that!” she said and I just shook my head and put my hand over my eyes. “Well then who was it?”

“Brian…” I muttered, not being able to look her in the eye. I couldn’t face that look of shock and betrayal in her eyes on top of everything else right now.

“You what?” she gasped, her tone dropping dramatically. “Ave what do you mean you slept with Brian? When? How?!”

“It was only one time,” I admitted, looking up at the ceiling and feeling like the worst friend on the face of the earth. I mean she told me about Matt and here I was keeping this information from her. She must be pissed… “It was at our graduation party,” I continued and her jaw dropped. Oh, just wait it gets worse. “And-and we had a huge argument and I told him to leave me alone,” I cried. “I stormed out the door and yelling somehow turned into a heated kiss and-and I woke up in his bed the next morning…but I swear it was only one time! This wasn’t supposed to happen! Not like this…I wanted to tell you!”

“Have you talk to him since?” I looked at Maya and nodded my head slowly as the tears rolled down my cheeks. She just looked up at the ceiling and sighed, obviously hating me for lying to her about that.

“We were texting…” I mumbled, dabbing at my eyes with toilet paper. “And-and we were supposed to meet up but I missed his text message when we were out with the Asking guys. Remember my phone died? Yeah…well now he wont even talk to me!” I cried again, the tears starting all over. “And now this…how-how am I supposed to do this, Maya? I-I can’t have a kid!”

Maya let out a long sigh as she pulled me back into her arms. “Shh…You don’t know for sure that you’re pregnant, Ave,” she assured me and I scoffed at her. “Well the test seems to think otherwise and it would explain why I’ve been feeling like shit lately!”

“Ave, listen to me,” Maya said, pulling my chin up so I’d look at her. Somewhere in her eyes I could see the hurt and confusion that she was trying to hide from me. I knew she was hurt that I lied to her and kept this secret from her but I knew she wasn’t going to leave me. We were all each other had. “Those tests are wrong all the time. I heard they frequently give false positives so let’s take a few more to be sure? Then we can figure out what to do. How does that sound?”

I nodded my head and collapsed back into her arms, not know what I would do without her. Maya really was more than my best friend—she was family and I owed so many things to her. “Don’t worry, we’ll get this all straightened out…” she promised.

After I calmed down again, Maya drove us back to the store to pick a few more pregnancy tests. I nervously chewed my bottom lip and tapped my foot the entire way home, not knowing what to do with myself. “Relax, little gnome…it’s going to be okay. I’ll be right there with you,” Maya kept telling me, and she was.

By the time the second round of tests were ready, we took each other’s hand and gave a tight reassuring squeeze. We each picked up a test to look at the results and to my relief, the test I was looking at read negative. “Oh, thank god!” I sighed only to see the look of bad news on Maya’s face. “What does it say?” I asked with a shaky voice.

“This one says positive…so that’s two yes’ and a know…” Maya said and I sunk back down on the toilet seat and put my head in my hands, pulling at my long blonde hair. This was the worst day of my life!

“Oh god…” I cried, looking back up at Maya and shaking my head. “What-what am I going to do?” I felt completely helpless and lost.

“Well,” Maya said with a small sigh as she sat next to me and put her arms around me. “We have to tell Brian…he deserves to know.”

I could only shake my head and scoff bitterly. “Yeah, like he’d actually answer the phone this time. It’s useless Maya…I’ve been trying to get ahold of him for the past two weeks and he just keeps ignoring me. I don’t know what happened.”

“Well, we’ll just have to try again,” she insisted and I sighed. The last thing I wanted to do was call him and explain all this over the phone. If he didn’t want to be with me now, he certainly didn’t want to be with me with a kid. That thought hurt a lot.

“Do I have to…I mean…” What did I mean? I couldn’t really get rid of it, could I? And could I really keep this from him with all our common friends.

“Call him,” Maya said pointedly as she handed me the phone. I bit my bottom lip as I shakily stood up and headed into my bedroom. And just like it had every time I had called previously it went to voicemail after a few rings.

“Damn it,” I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I was trying really hard to pull myself together right now.

“Hey this is Brian, I’m busy jamming with the guys or some other shit so leave a message and I’ll get back to you….please record message after the tone….BEEP—“

“Hey, Bri, it’s Ave again…I-I…” I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “I really need to talk to you and it’s kind of an emergency so please call me back when you get this. Thanks…” I hung up the phone and looked up to see Maya standing in the doorway with an unreadable expression on her face. “He’s not going to call me back you know…” I felt my heart sinking into my stomach with thought.

“Text him too…” she suggested and I nodded, doing just that.

“What happens if he doesn’t’ respond?” I whispered, not even really wanting to think about going through all this alone.

“Then we go and find him.”

Notes

So what is going on with Ben and Maya? And Ave's pregnant? What?