Brian’s POV

I was staring at my phone, again… but apparently that didn’t change anything.
It wouldn’t ring, I wouldn’t get a message… nothing… Silence, Emptiness…
And that’s what my brain felt like too.
Like someone had stolen everything from me, making me feel empty, and lonely.

I didn’t even register how the sound-check was going, I did my part, played my part, but not anything like the last times, like when Matt and I were fully concentrated, just to give the fans the best show we could…

Not that we were bad or anything, just the heart was at some other places, just as was my head… I had left it somewhere… or rather with someone.

A certain brunette now blonde, little lady…
Again she was giving me a whiplash with her changes, not only the times when she just didn’t reply, yesterday we spent this amazing night and then she was gone…
I wrote her a message and nothing.

What was she thinking? What happened?
I wouldn’t call her, I told myself… nope not calling her! She needs to come to me, after leaving me like that, I mean… what the hell had happened that she just… disappeared!

We had so many open things to talk about, she couldn’t just leave!
What if she wouldn’t wanna talk to me?
Did I say something to offend her? Had I been to rough and scared her away?

But I knew my Ave, she liked it.. Sometimes a little… wilder… so that couldn’t be it, right?
We both had been moaning and sweating and calling each other’s names in the outlast of our desire, so that couldn’t have hurt her, right?

“Gates? Hello? Earth to Gates!” Zack waved a hand in front of my eyes, making me finally look at him.
“Huh? What?” I asked and saw that the sound-check was long done, and everyone had already left.
“I said if you wanted to have a drink with me? Or are you too busy staring at the wall? Because if you keep doing that, with your frowning face, you should worry about the wrinkles you get.” Zack joked and I narrowed my eyes.

“Funny, Vee” I shoved him away and maybe I could get a drink with him, I mean… more staring on my phone wouldn’t help me either… And since I still didn’t know where she lived, or where she was right now… I had no other chance then to wait… wait for a sign… and I could still lay my phone beside me, so I wouldn’t miss the message or call from her.

“Perfect, let’s go.” Zack dragged me after him and we landed at the bar in our hotel.
We sat down in a quiet corner, because I really didn’t feel like someone noticing me.

“Where have you been before the sound-check?” I asked Zack after a while who stared at the beer bottle he had in his hand.
“Was running around town, having a snack…” He shrugged and I nodded not really caring for that anyway, just starting a conversation.
Since when had it been so awkward between us? Sometimes I felt like something was not going right.
“What’s wrong with you? Being all absent? Still thinking about the night, or what?” Zack finally set the bottle aside and came to stare at me.

“Fuck yeah…I mean… She just left and I have no idea why. I thought we could talk about everything, we could settle this… so she would be with us again. I had a good feeling, I mean she wouldn’t have come to my hotel room if she didn’t love me anymore, right? She wouldn’t have had sex with me if there was nothing, right?” I asked and Zack nodded, but his eyebrows were crunched down in a frown.
Why was he behaving so weird right now?

“She didn’t explain? Or called you? Maybe wrote you a message or something?” Zack asked finally meeting my eyes and by the look on his face I knew something was up, something he hadn’t told me about, does he know more? Had he talked to her and wasn’t telling me? AGAIN?

“Baker, I swear to god, if you know something, fucking spill it or I will beat the ever living shit out of you!” I narrowed my eyes on him and was about to grab his collar when he slipped away a little.

“Okay, fine.. Listen… I did talk to her…But you know how the situation is, it’s complicated, if she knew that I would fucking tell you this… she would never speak to me again, you got that?” He asked and I nodded.

“Yeah, tell me anyway. Fucking hell, Zack… I need to know what to do, was this only payback for her? Does she still love me? She must… I couldn’t.. I mean… Fuck!” I hit the table with my fist, making the bottles jump and nearly spill over while the bartender threw me a dirty look.

“Alright, listen… So she was confused as hell… But I could describe her the situation from your side. She was hurt by you, Brian. And I tried to convince her that it was a one-time mistake, she isn’t really sure on how to handle everything, of course she has still feelings for you, but with the other women, she thought you had given up… and that’s why she turned to James…” Zack said and I gritted my teeth only hearing his name was making my blood run hot through my veins.
She was freaking mine, and he should better keep his hands to himself, or his drummer time would soon be over.

“Did you tell her I would proof her that I do love her, that I would give everything to get her back? Please, tell me you did say something?!” I shook Zack’s arm and he batted my hands away, “What do you think I did, Brian?! God, calm the fuck down!”

He took his beer and downed the rest of it, while I waited for further explanations, my foot tapping on the ground, my fingers drumming on the table, is this guy trying to kill me?!

“ZACK!” I yelled finally, making again the bartender look at us warningly!
“Okay okay… yes, of course I told her. I tried to make her understand what you and Matt had been going through and that she should at least give you a chance to listen to her…” Zack said and I frowned, “So I should call her?” I asked and Zack shook his head.

“No, write her… I mean, write her a message and tell her what you really feel, ask her out, at least ask her to meet with you… something like that, she is torn and hurt… she needs a little time, but I bet she will give in, if you make the right moves, Haner” Zack clapped my shoulder and I nodded.

“Okay… right… right. I’ll think about that! Thanks man” I got up, drank the rest of my beer before running nearly out of the bar, leaving a sputtering Zack behind who was cursing that he had to pay for me again.

I closed myself into my hotel room and stared at my phone, “A message… a message” I began to type and then deleted it all.

I began to type again… and erased it another time.
Fuck, I had to find the right words… the words, which would bring her back to me, that would make her consider everything.

I sat down on my desk and took out a site of my notebook and a pencil from one of my bags, maybe write it down first or maybe it would help me to write it like a song… maybe that would work better.

So I started to write and when I was finally satisfied with the outcome, I typed into my phone:

My love,
I have a thought of you for every, star in the sky
But I'm scared, I'll never cross your mind.
Will our stars ever align?
Will two hearts, beat in time?
These words you should always remember,
To you, my heart I surrender.

I know much has happened and we still have a lot standing between us, and I can just hope that you will give me a chance to explain… so we can make this work again, because I can’t think about anything else, beside you, Ave…

Please, give me another chance to make this right, I promise to proof myself to you.
All I want is another chance to talk…

Yours Brian

I hit the send button before I could rethink any of it, now the ball is in her court, now she has to come to me and tell me what she thought, now I had to wait again…

But after everything Zacky said, she would at least give me a chance to explain, and when I could convince her that I would try everything in my might to make it right, I knew there was still a chance…
A chance of happiness for her and me, for us -together!

Maya’s POV

I didn’t know what to do or think, whenever I turned my phone back on, Matt had called me again.
I regretted giving him my phone number; I knew it was a dumb idea.

When I deleted another message from him I put the phone back in my bag and sighed, he was stubborn and that had been one of the reasons I loved him… I love him? Still? Did I?
I pushed the thought back, but knew it would be coming back soon again, he was always present in my thoughts if I wanted him too or not, that should probably tell me the answer to my earlier questions, right?

It smelled delicious and my stomach began to grumble, yesterday at the dinner, I couldn’t really bring myself to eat much and I knew Ben had noticed that, too.
He had tried everything in his power to make me feel better and I appreciated that and felt bad for him.

After dinner he decided we should see a movie, but instead of going with me to the cinema, he found an old drive in cinema, which I have never been to before.
And I enjoyed that, they showed an old movie I never seen before and both Ben and I had took place in his backseat of his car, cuddled up there and enjoyed the movie.

Ben had stroked my arm, placed kisses on my shoulder and neck and he made sure he had been on my mind the entire time, and he succeeded, all evening.
Just when we went to back and sleep had overcome me, he couldn’t help me with the distraction, and then Matt appeared in my mind, he and the blonde woman.

I had woken early and went to the bathroom, trying to get rid of these weird dreams and even more disturbing thoughts, when I climbed back into bed Ben had lazily opened his eyes “Whatcha doin, love? Can’t sleep?” He had rasped and I cuddled into him.

His arms had crushed me into his side, and he kissed my forehead “It’s not even day, sleep a little more… We can do something fun tomorrow, I promise” He had mumbled and I nodded into his chest, letting his warmth and closeness make me feel better right away, chasing away the thoughts and I sighed, falling back into a deep slumber.

And that’s how I had woken up, but instead of lying on Ben’s chest, I had been lying on his side of the bed on his pillow and no sign of Ben anywhere.
So when the smell of food had wavered into the room, I had quickly pulled one of my comfortable shirts and a short on and made my way downstairs, just in case he wasn’t alone.

“Goodmorning, love” Ben greeted me and I set a plate in front of me, my stomach grumbling loudly.
“Hi” I said a little uncertain, what was he doing, cooking for me? I had to admit, that was so damn cute, normally he was the one sleeping in, or rather we both were.

“Why are you wearing clothes? I like you better in one of my shirts… or without any at all” He smirked and I rolled my eyes “I thought you might have guests, so I rather put some clothes on”
“You are the only one I’m caring about, love. Now come on, have a seat…” He patted the chair next to him and I was about to sit down when my phone began to buzz with another incoming message.

Ben rolled his eyes and I sighed “I’ll quickly check if it’s Ave” I told him and moved over to my bag, it wasn’t Ave but it wasn’t Matt either.
A picture of Jimmy and myself was shown on the display and I had to smile, god I missed him so bad.

I checked his message and the smile fell away from my lips:

Knife girl, waiting for you in the lobby at six! Your Knife Master

I couldn’t go to the concert tonight, not after what happened yesterday… there was no way I could go and risk running into Matt… I wasn’t ready to see him again… with that woman… It would probably break me completely.

If you think about cancelling I will call you non-stop and I mean it, non fucking stop!

Another message from Jimmy and I sighed, damn it… what should I do!?
If I talked to him, he normally understood me without much effort, but would he understand me now, too?

I had been in contact with Jimmy nearly every day, either via messages or calls, but it wasn’t the same as seeing him, and it had broken my heart when I told him to leave at the party, but I was afraid of someone else getting hurt. I had already done enough, with Ben’s slip and Matt’s black eye, what if Jimmy had gotten into it, too?!

I would think about a way to tell him what’s going on, and maybe I could see him tomorrow, on their last day… that would at least be something, right?!
Maybe he would give in to that deal?
Because I did wanted to see him, so bad! Needed someone to talk to… my best friend besides Ave…

“Maya?” Ben’s voice roused me from my thoughts and I pushed the phone back in my pocket.
“Sorry, that was Jimmy” I told him but Ben didn’t look happy to hear that either.
“What should we do today?” Ben asked and I dug into the food, god it was delicious.

“Did you make this?” I asked Ben looked at the plate and he chuckled “I did, why?”
“It’s freaking delicious… I didn’t know you could cook so good” Ben chuckled and pulled me in for a soft kiss, “That’s a secret, and it needs to stay between you and me, don’t tell the others, or I always gotta cook” He pecked my lips again and gave me a wink.

“If I stay in England and eat warm every morning I would get fucking fat” I said and Ben gave me a laugh, “I could think of good ways we could make you stay thin” He wiggled his eyebrows and I slapped his chest.

“You don’t have anything else on your mind, do you?” I laughed and he nodded then shook his head “I only have you in my head, love… Only you” He pulled my chair over to him and made me lean back into his body.

“What would you like to do today?” He asked and I rested his head on my shoulder.
He was trying so hard to make me feel good and make this all just about us that I felt so guilty when my thoughts wanted to stray… because he didn’t deserve that.

I should let today just be about us and nothing let come between it, if I wanted to keep this relationship with Ben going I had to be fully into it… and forget about everything else, but was that possible?

“How about we spend the night here? Or would you rather go dancing?” I asked not really sure, because I wasn’t feeling like partying right now, but maybe that’s what I needed?
Going out!?

Ben held his head to the side, looking at me and I finally met his eyes but he wouldn’t say anything until I had to smile “Dancing, it will be” I told him and he nodded “Very well, my woman wants to dance, then we will dance.”

I nodded and now I still had to figure out a way to tell Jimmy that I wouldn’t be coming, and I wanted to postpone our meeting for one day. I just hoped he was okay with it… but I couldn’t run into Matt right now, I just couldn’t!

I knew Matt wasn’t to blame and it had been my fault in the first place, but just when I had agreed to meet with him again, he was out with that woman and she treated him like they were having their fun together like just a couple of hours before, while Matt had been telling me I was the only one on his thoughts?

Just when I wanted to agree on getting all in the open and maybe even thinking about what we had again, allow myself to open up to what we had then that happened and ripped it all away again?
Why was everything so confusing and hard? Why couldn’t something just be easy?

Avery’s POV

After Zack had left I was still sitting in the bakery, staring at my coffee cup, while I tried to get rid of those stupid tears, which wanted to spill from my eyes.

Everything Brian had said was true? He still hurt me, and that wouldn’t change, but maybe… just maybe he could change? Maybe we could start over again?
Maybe it really was just a mistake, and everything could be different now, cause Maya and I wouldn’t be going to college anymore?

What would happen if we went back to Huntington and start over again? But what if he didn’t change?
What if he would break my heart again, and then… what would be left of me? Of my heart?
Could I risk it?
Was he worth risking that much? Were we worth it?

Deep down I knew, I wouldn’t love any other men the way I loved Brian. He was the one big love for me, but was he really taking it serious?
Or was I about to lose everything, when I just tried to come over it?

Then there was still the guilt that was beginning to choke me, guilt towards James. Who had been nothing but wonderful to me… could I just push him back?
Should I tell him about what happened with Brian the night before? What would he do, if he knew the truth?

Would he curse me and go running, so I would not only lose a wonderful friend but also loose the only person beside Maya who understood me and wanted to be with me?
Damn, why did I do that? Why couldn’t I resist Brian… but then again… maybe that was exactly how it was, I just couldn’t resist him…

My phone suddenly buzzed and I saw James smiling face, he had put that picture in my phone, I was sleeping on his chest, and a hurt instantly bloomed in my chest… what to do?!

“Hey” I picked up and heard some rustling “Ave?” James voice sounded distant.
“Yeah..” I didn’t know what really to say to him, not when I wasn’t sure on what to do… on how to handle the whole situation.
“I’m in my car, I just wanted to know if you wanna hang out? And how was your meeting with your friend from school?” James asked and I frowned, another lie I told him, damn it.

“It was sad” Not a lie “She will leave and I won’t be seeing her for a while” A half lie, maybe.
“Damn, sorry, babe. How about I pick you up and we do something fun together? I received a message from Ben, they plan to go out tonight, should we join them?” James asked and I frowned.

I wasn’t into the mood of going out, but maybe going out would prevent me from spending a guilty night alone with James on my couch, it would just turn out bad and the guilt would begin to eat me alive even more.

“Yeah, why not… I think that’s a good idea, the others coming too?” I asked maybe the more people the better? I thought and waited for the reply.
“I’ll ask them… So should I pick you up?” He asked again and I shook my head vehemently.

“No, no… I will call you when I’m ready. I plan to see Maya before, maybe get ready with her, it’s like a ritual, is that okay?” I asked and heard some cracking noises, soon the line would be dead.
“Alright, sure. Let me know when you are ready, babe…” Then the line went dead and I sighed.

What had I gotten myself into?!
I got up and paid for the bill and then realized I didn’t even have a car, since James had insisted of bringing me here.
Shit, so I hired a cab to bring me back to my apartment and I went straight for my room and shut myself in.

I lay down on my bed and let all the talks and information seep into my brain and my emotions were swirling around, so many different directions they wanted to go, when my phone buzzed again and I saw an incoming text.

My heart stopped for a second when I saw another message from Brian and when I opened it up my heart suddenly sped up with the first words:

My love,
I have a thought of you for every, star in the sky
But I'm scared, I'll never cross your mind.
Will our stars ever align?
Will two hearts, beat in time?
These words you should always remember,
To you, my heart I surrender.

I know much has happened and we still have a lot standing between us, and I can just hope that you will give me a chance to explain… so we can make this work again, because I can’t think about anything else, beside you, Ave…

Please, give me another chance to make this right, I promise to proof myself to you.
All I want is another chance to talk…

Yours Brian

Oh my god, how am I supposed to reply to that?
More tears were spilling from my eyes, running down my cheeks, just when I thought I had calmed down a little he was sending something like that?

I read the words over and over again, not able to comprehend the full extend, but somehow I knew… I had to reply, and it had to be the right reply.
Just what should I write him?

I began to type but it wouldn’t come out right, so I set the phone aside, I had to think about it, when should we meet, as Zack told me they wouldn’t be here much longer?
Maybe tomorrow?

Should I ask Maya to help me out but would she understand? Then I had to tell her about the whole night with Brian and that James still didn’t know… oh my god James!

More guilt crashed me down and I decided to take a shower first, I had to clear my head again and if we really planned on going somewhere tonight, I should start to get ready, or everyone would be standing in our home and I hadn’t even begun…

When I towel dried myself I took the phone back into my hands, I had to reply before James would arrive here…
I knew this shouldn’t make a difference to me, he still hurt me, but somehow my brain shut down and my heart wanted to give him another chance, so what was I supposed to do?
I could at least meet with him to talk, we needed to talk that was sure even before the message but it just gave me the final push I guessed… since the guilt towards James, wasn’t going away with or without the meeting I began to type my reply to Brian and hoped he would answer quickly so we could find a common ground of a meeting tomorrow.

And why only at the thought of that, did my heart speed up again, at the thought of meeting with him and seeing him?
When it shouldn’t be this way?

But I couldn’t help it, it felt like he was the director of my heart, only the image of him and me that night, did things to me… I could never understand completely.

So, just one message away was a meeting with him…

Notes

Soooo close until they will meet again, right?!
What will happen?
Tell us ur thoughts!!