Avery’s POV

I sat in my business class, absentmindedly doodling in my notebook and only partially listening the professor’s lecture. You see I had already read and done all the work for these chapters weeks ago and I now I was just going through the motions to occupy my time. Hell, I was over a month ahead in the syllabus and if I kept up this pace I would finish the course requirements in three weeks. I was doing everything in my power to keep my mind occupied on anything except for that pair of brown eyes that haunted my thoughts and dreams.

I had been in the UK with Maya for about three weeks now and I had done everything in my power to forget about him, including picking up two extra classes at Oxford on top of my online course load from UCLA. Thank goodness they accepted my late registration or I would be completely lost, seeing how I had basically finished all my online course work in my first two weeks in the UK. I buried myself in the work to divert my thoughts from my broken heart and you’d be amazed how much work you get done when you cant sleep without waking up crying from your dreams. It seemed this business course and my graphic design class were the only things keeping me together at this point.

I still couldn’t wrap my head around what had happened between us. We had done everything in our power to make things work out long distance. We called and skyped with each other everyday, we sent frequent text messages and pictures, and had even planned out our next break at home together. God I loved that man and what did he do? He threw it all away for a night of fun and there was no denying his actions this time—the pictures and the article were very clear.

“Come on you piece of shit!” I hissed at my computer. I was beyond frustrated with this new graphic design program. Nothing was working and the stupid thing had erased my work at least three times now. “You know what screw it, I’m done!”

I finally gave up and fell backwards on my bed. I was tired of fighting with the stupid program and would try again in morning when my brain was functioning more effectively. At least I was ahead in the class so the assignment wasn’t due for a few more days.

It was well past midnight and I was trying to find something to distract myself with while I waited for Brian to call after the show. I had been waiting to hear from him all day and the anticipation was killing me. This long distance relationship thing really sucked and even though skype was helpful, it didn’t curb my desire to touch him or feel his lips against mine. I was trying to stay strong and pretend the distance didn’t bother me but sometimes that was easier said than done. But on the bright side we only had thirty-seven more days until they had a weekend off.

“Let’s see what the guys are up to,” I mumbled to myself, flopping over onto my stomach and typing ‘Synyster Gates news’ into the search engine. “Syn Gates Settling down?” I read aloud as I clicked on the newest article dated for today. Had someone leaked a new picture of the two of us? I hadn’t seen him in person in over month now so I didn’t really know how they could post an article.

However, it wasn’t me the article was talking about. When I opened the page, my heart stopped in my chest and I couldn’t breath. In that instant my heart shattered in a million pieces and I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. This couldn’t be true! Brian loved me and wouldn’t do this to me, but the proof was right in front of me.

There before my eyes were multiple pictures of Brian and some girl heatedly making out. And it was very clear that these kisses were intentional and not at all like the Michelle misunderstanding from a few months ago. His hands were on her face in one. In another his hands were tangled in her hair and his forehead was pressed to hers, looking deeply in here eyes.

“No…” I whimpered in shock, covering my mouth with my hand and shaking my head. That was a look Brian had reserved for me or so I thought. “It-It cant be true…” I cried with hot tears running down my cheeks. I quickly started to read the article but it only made things worse.

“Sources say that Gates has been seen spending evenings with this mystery girl in a more intimate locations after the parties and even at home in Huntington Beach, California. Sorry ladies, it looks like Synyster Gates is settling down once in for all!”

After reading those words and seeing those pictures, I could feel my heart breaking in a million pieces. I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t do anything. I was completely crushed and the tears instantly started to fall. The feeling could only be described as being shot directly in the heart, and Brian was the one who had done it. He ruined me.

I quickly took a deep breath and shook my head, pushing that memory away as the tears started to form in my eyes. It hurt enough to think about the fact that I still loved him, let alone reliving his betrayal and the daily struggle I went through trying to understand it. I knew I had to distract myself again or else I would completely lose it again in the middle of class. So I focused on the professor’s mouth and the way he pronounced each and ever word.

Ever since the night I found out Brian cheated on me I felt lost. He had become part of me and now that he had betrayed me I was crushed. My heart had completely shattered that night and no amount of ‘I’m sorry’ would ever fix it. I was completely devastated and even hearing or saying his name from that point on broke me for days on end. Hell even just seeing his picture on my phone reduced me to tears. Never in my life had anything hurt that badly, almost like his infidelity destroyed a piece of me and I was mourning a loss. A depressed introvert quickly replaced my once confident and bubbly personality and I didn’t have the will to do anything anymore. Synyster Gates had ruined me.

So I did the only thing I could do; I left Huntington Beach and dropped all contact with him. I didn’t answer his calls or texts and deleted his number from my phone. Only that wasn’t enough. Everything back home reminded me of our time together and I couldn’t live like that. So I hopped the next flight to the UK and joined Maya where I belonged. I couldn’t continue to put myself through hell knowing that I was so disposable to Brian. He made his choice to cheat so I made my choice to end our relationship before he broke me even further. And that’s when Maya and I disappeared off the Avenged Sevenfold radar.

Now I was left with the task of mending my broken heart and starting over when I knew I was still in love with that asshole. And something told me I always would be.

With a sigh I glanced down at my paper to examine my drawing and what I saw made my broken heart constrict painfully in my chest. I had unconsciously drawn the person and the thing I was desperately trying to forget. The perfect hair, the muscles, the facial structure, and that god damn pinned stripped guitar. I felt sick to my stomach and put my head in my hands. I had to get out of here and thank god at that exact moment the professor dismissed the class.

Without thinking twice, I grabbed all of my things and bolted towards the door, but not before disposing of the drawing. I didn’t need another reminder as to why I was so miserable. I tortured myself enough on my own.

I hastily made my way to the coffee shop only to find Maya smiling, which was a rare occurrence these days. She had been just as despondent as me over the past few weeks, only she was better at hiding it. And apparently Maya was better at moving on too because she insisted that we attend some party tonight.

“Come on, Ave, you love shopping,” Maya said as she dragged me into a department store and started to hold dresses and outfits up to me. “Let’s live a little. You know get back to our old selves!” Well, that was easier said then done when I felt empty inside. It was funny how one event could change everything that you used to love.

“Ohh! What about this one?” she gushed as I moved clothes along the wrack, not really looking. I just couldn’t bring myself to find something to amazing to wear when the only person that I wanted to impress didn’t care about me anymore. “Ave?”

Maya hands were suddenly on my face, forcing me to look into her eyes. “Please just try,” she begged and I looked back down at the floor. “Find something you like or else I’ll pick it for you.”

“Fine,” I sighed and followed her to the other side of the store. To my surprise my eyes caught a dress that I would have never been caught dead in before. It was bright red, extremely short, and had side and back cut outs. Somehow it felt right and maybe this could be a start of a new Avery. I mean, I had already turned blonde and why not spice up my attire to go with it? “What do you think of this?” I asked Maya, nervously chewing on my bottom lip.

“I fucking love it!” Maya’s eyes grew wide as she held it up in front of me. “Go try it on!” she insisted, pushing me toward the dressing room. She wasn’t far behind me with a handful of things for her to try on.

Once the dress was on, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I didn’t recognize this blonde beauty staring back at me but yet it somehow felt right. I wasn’t the same person I was three weeks ago and maybe Maya had a point. Perhaps it was time for me to stop moping around and get on with my life. Like she said, the guys had obviously moved on so why shouldn’t we?

“Ave? Are you ready?” Maya’s voice called, pulling me from my thoughts. Taking a deep breath, I unlocked the dressing room door and stepped out. I felt extremely vulnerable and exposed with all the changes and I hoped that Maya would approve. “Wow…little gnome you look…just wow,” she breathed shaking her head with a small smile. “That’s it.”

“Are you sure?” I practically whispered.

“Positive,” she insisted, pulled me into a hug but not before I got a glimpse of the dress she had on. To my surprise, it was white but she looked drop dead gorgeous in it. White wasn’t a color that she wore but it seemed to suit her, just as red did for me. “And I know exactly what to do with your hair and make up. You are going to be the one everyone as looking at tonight, little gnome. That much I know.”

“Not when you’re there,” I half-heartedly laughed, leading the way to the check out after we changed. It wasn’t a real laugh, but it was the closest I had come in weeks. “That dress is stunning and you look amazing.”

“Well how about we are the two hottest girls there?” She offered, linking her arm through mine.

Just when I opened my mouth to agree, something caught my eye that stopped me in my tracks. My breath hitched in my throat and I instantly felt like I couldn’t breath and was going to be sick all at the same time.

“And up next we have Avenged Sevenfold who will be performing live tonight in Copenhagen, stay tuned.” I announcer said on the tv behind the register. Right there in front of me was the man I was trying to forget.

“Ave what is it?” Maya asked, noticing my panicked state. My heart was racing a mile a minute as I watched him sit at the interview table, talking quietly with Jimmy. To my surprise he had an unreadable expression on his face, which wasn’t normal for him in public. Usually he wore his Synyster Gates face to match his stage person, but that’s not who I was looking at now. That was Brian Haner—or at least the Brian I thought I knew back then.

“Oh, shit….” She hissed, following my gaze. She could see me slowly crumbling from the inside out and I had no idea what to do. I couldn’t look away, even though watching him on the tv was literally killing me all over again inside. “Here, give me your dress, you wait outside for me…”

“But what about—“

“No, just go. I’ve got this,” she insisted and pushed me toward the door, forcing my eyes away from the screen.

For the rest of the evening I tried to process that look on his face. What was going on with him for him to look so disconnected? Why did I even care? He had proven to me that I wasn’t the one for him and the wasn’t worrying about me, so why should I bother with him? It was because as much as I didn’t want to, I still cared. I still loved that bastard and I hated myself for it. How could I hate and love someone all at the same time?

By nine-thirty Maya and I were walking up the front steps of a huge mansion. I had no idea what kind of party she got us invited to but I was a little nervous. This definitely wasn’t the college party that I expected. “Maya are you sure this is the right place?” I asked, looking at her with a worried expression.

“That’s what the invitation says, love. Relax, you look freaking amazing and tonight is about you and I having fun. So let’s have a good time,” she was right. I always worried too much. “Here we are! Party time!” she sang before knocking on the door, only we didn’t expect who answered.

“Bloody fucking hell! Look what the cat dragged in! Maya fucking Brandon and is that Avery Jacobson? Fucking hell get your hot little arses in here!” Danny Worsnop screamed once he saw our face. He stumbled forward and pulled each of us into a hug. He held onto me for a bit longer than necessary and I had to clear my throat to get him to let go.

I gapped at Maya as the lead singer of Asking Alexandria pulled us into the house full of people. Did she know this was their party? Judging by the look on her face, she was just as surprised as I was. “Let me get you babes a drink,” Danny said, before disappearing and yelling something to his band mates across the room.

“Maya…” I hissed once he walked away. “What are we doing here? Why are we at an Asking Alexandria party?”

“Relax, Ave, I had no idea this was their party. And what’s the difference between this and a college party? Well, besides that they have good booze and we know some people.” But that was exactly the problem. I wanted to go to a party where I didn’t know anyone then nothing would remind me of my past. Or better yet, no one would ask me about it.

“Maya I just don’t know about this…” I sighed, feeling a wave of anxiety wash over me. I wasn’t ready for this grandeur. Hell, all I really wanted to do was crawl back into bed and pretend that I didn’t exist because I surely didn’t feel like I belonged her. I was a brokenhearted downer in a sea of excitement.

“When Danny said that you guys where here, I thought he was lying!” A familiar voice called behind us, causing Maya and I to both turn around and see Ben Bruce and James Casselles standing before us. “What are you guys doing here? Did you bring those Avenged asshats with you?” He laughed, only I felt like I was going to be sick again. This couldn’t be happening.

Thankfully at that moment Danny returned with our drinks and I downed my in three gulps. I needed something to numb the cruel pain that was rising in my chest. I was in for one hell of the night and if I had my way, I wouldn’t remember any of it in the morning and I could go back to my miserable life.

Matt’s POV

“That was exactly what I needed,” DJ moaned as I gently moved her off me and onto the mattress. She ran her fingers through her long blonde hair with satiated look on her face. “Same time tomorrow?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows at me as I sat up and pulled my pants back on.

I wish I could say that I felt the same way but if I was being honest, I knew that this little arrangement we had wasn’t working for me. I thought having someone else in my bed could distract me from my broken heart but I was quickly starting to realize it wasn’t having the desired affect. Actually the opposite was happening because every time I slept with DJ, I always pictured Maya. And even though DJ was a beautiful girl, she could never compare to her. Hell, the whole thing made me feel sick with guilt. Even though she had ended it three months ago, I still felt like I was cheating on her and I couldn’t live with that though anymore.

I don’t know what drunken escapade lead to this little arrangement with our new pyro and lights technician, DJ, but I knew it needed to stop. This little charade had been going on long enough and I felt absolutely disgusted with myself for letting it go on so long. This wasn’t me. This was someone else trying to find the easiest fix for the pain I was feeling. And it was all because I knew deep down that I was still deeply in love with a woman who claimed not to love me anymore. Nothing could replace her and I knew that now.

If only I could fucking find her and just talk to her I knew we could work all this out. Only when Brian and I flew back to California to make things right between the girls the were nowhere to be found.

“I’m sorry, Avery and Maya don’t live here anymore,” a redhead said, leaning in the doorway of the apartment that had definitely been theirs only a month ago. I knew this was where we moved them into because I memorized the chipped paint outside the door. There had to be some kind of mistake.

“Are you sure? Please, we really need to talk to them,” I urged, trying to get this girl to understand the situation. “It’s urgent!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what to tell you. They’re not here anymore and I don’t know where they went,” and with that she turned and shut the door in our face.

“Where the hell did they go?” Brian raged, running his hands over his face as I let out a groan.

I had no idea what was going on between those two but I did know that Ave had just abruptly stopped talking to him. Gates had been a complete mess for the past two weeks, waiting for any small opportunity to fly out here and figure out what was going on. I had never seen Gates so bitchy and on edge and I was really starting to worry about him. This wasn’t the Brian that I knew.

“I have no fucking idea…do you think something happened to them?” I asked, voicing the concern that Brian was obviously thinking. His eyes snapped up to me and I could see the look of panic in his eyes. He wasn’t handling this situation well at all and I felt for the guy.

Hell, I wasn’t handling the Maya situation any better. I had to see her and to fix whatever had happened between us. I sure as hell didn’t believe she didn’t love me anymore—that was a bold faced lie and we both knew it.

“What the fuck are we going to do?”

Gates groaned and ran his face over his hands again. “The only thing we fucking can do…go see Larry and see if he will tell us anything.”

“Fucking hell we don’t have time to track him down right now. We have to be on a flight to Germany in three hours,” I groaned, wishing we had more time to figure this out because I didn’t want to leave without setting everything straight. I needed Maya in my life and she needed me, that much was obvious, and nothing was going stop me from accomplishing that goal. “Call him up.”

Three rings into the call Larry finally answered but he didn’t have his usual cheery tone. Shit, something was definitely wrong here and I didn’t like the direction this was heading. “Make it quick, Haner I’ve got to be in a meeting in five.”

Gates looked at me with a raised brow and I knew he was feeling the same thing I was. This wasn’t going to end well. “Actually Larry it’s Matt and Brian,” I said, my hand rubbing up and down the back of my neck. “We were wondering if you had heard from the girls lately…”

“Yes, I actually just got off the phone with Avery, not that it’s either of your business anymore,” ouch, well that hurt. And why wasn’t it our business? What the hell was going on with those two?

“Do you know where they are?” Brian tried, speaking quickly. “Ave wont answer any of my calls and I—“

“Look, I don’t know what to tell you two. You both fucked up and I warned you not to hurt my girls,” he practically growled over the phone. “So in my opinion and theirs, you no longer have the right to information about them. They are safe and that’s all that you need to know. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting.” And with that, he hung up on us.

“Where the fuck are they?” Brian yelled, throwing his phone down in frustration. “This is so fucking stupid because I have no idea what happened! Why did she just fucking stop talking to me?”

“I don’t know…” I sighed, patting his back. I knew exactly how he felt because Maya had basically done the same thing to me. “But we need to find them to get them back.”

“Matt? Matt?” DJ’s voice called, her small hands on my shoulders. I shook my head and pushed away the memory. That was two months ago and I still hadn’t heard or seen head or tail from either of the girls.

“Sorry what was that?” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose as I stood up. I quickly moved to grab my shirt off the floor and pulled it over my head.

“I asked if you wanted to do the same thing tomorrow, same time, same place?...well we’ll be in a different hotel but you know what I mean,” she said, the musical laughter evident in her voice.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that, DJ,” I sighed, my back still to her. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings but it needed to be said.

“Oh?” Great she already sounded upset.

“Listen, you’re a really nice girl and your beautiful and smart but—“

“But you’re still stuck on that other girl?” DJ finished for me and I just gapped at her. How did she know about Maya? I didn’t think I had mentioned Maya once around DJ and not because I was being polite. It was because it hurt to talk about her. “Oh, don’t look so surprised. Your friends talk about her and some other girl all the time like they were celebrities in their own right,” she chuckled. “And I’ve seen you stare at that picture on your laptop for hours on end. She’s beautiful and really missed out on a great guy.”

“Thanks,” I said with a frown. “And I’m sorry…”

“Nothing to be sorry about, it was fun and that’s all I’m really looking for right now anyway. We’re on fucking tour and I am not a girl to be tied down.” Why did she fit into my group of roadies so perfectly? She had the same mentality as the lot. “Just let me know if you change your mind, okay?”

I nodded my head and made my way out of the room only to find Gates lying in the middle of the hallway drunk off his ass. “What the hell are you doing out here?” I half chuckled as he stared blankly at the ceiling.

“Don’t touch him!” Jimmy yelled, flying down the hallway out of nowhere. “I’m trying to hypnotize him so he’ll come back to the land of the living.” Okay, these two definitely had too much to drink tonight. I watched as he kneeled down in front of Gates and pulled out a watch. “You are getting very sleepy….close your eyes….and when you open them…you will be fully under my spell!”

“Get that shit out of my face,” Gates slurred, pushing the watch away and sitting up. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, undoubtedly dialing Avery’s disconnected number for the hundredth time. “Why does she never fucking answer…what the hell did I do anyway?”

“What is he yelling about?” Zack asked, poking his head out of one of the room.

“He’s still trying to figure out what happened with you know who,” I said, knowing better than to say his name. Though I was still wondering the same thing about Maya and I. I missed her like crazy every day and it didn’t get easier in time. In fact it got harder and each day the though of her leaving me hurt a little bit more. When would this dull throbbing pain in my chest go away?

Zack sighed and looked between us with a frown on his lips. “What the hell do you know Vengeance?” I asked, slowly standing back up and glaring at him. And by the way he refused to look Gates and I in the eye just now, I knew he was withholding information.

“You better fucking spit it out and now!” Gates was suddenly on his feet inches away from his face. Shit, if Zack didn’t say the right thing, Haner would surely punch him in the face.

“I heard there’s an article…” he started and Gates and I just gapped at each other.

“And article about?” I continued, my temper starting to rise now too. How long had he known about this.

“An article with some pretty explicit pictures of the two of you doing things you shouldn’t have been doing…” Zack muttered and that’s when I actually lost it.

“You better fucking show me, now.” I growled, pushing him back into his room. I wanted to know exactly what kind of shit had undoubtedly fucked us over.

Notes

I know it's not what you wanted but at least the guys are starting to figure out what happened! And yes, AA has made their appearance. ;) Stay tuned for more of the mystery unraveling! Comments please!