Untold Misfortunes

I felt like crumbling when I first saw my brother lying on the hospital bed. Jimmy had no color to his face, his chest barely rising and falling, the monotone beep of the machines he was hooked up to. I wanted to fall to my knees and cry. Why had I let my brother suffer for so long? Sure, he sent me off to Australia, for me to figure out my own issues, but why I had I never heard the struggle in his own voice when he spoke to me? Why had I been so selfish?
I walked over to his bed, sat in the empty chair and grabbed his hand. He didn't move. I had hoped he would wake up when I took his hand, but it didn't happen like it did in movies. I squeezed on to his hand, trying to hold back the tears I so desperately wanted to let out.
"Jimmy, they hate me," I started. "I left them, you and the only family, that ever cared about me; I left them. I didn't say goodbye, except to you, and I left. I left without looking back, for what? Because some guy beat me up? I could have gone to the authorities; instead I ran away. I am such a fool, big brother." I sighed softly, holding his hand as tightly as I could.
"Ah, you must be Ms. Sullivan; James' sister. Am I correct?" A voice said, walking into the room. I glanced the man over, making the assumption of him to be the doctor in charge of my brother. I gave a curt nod. "I'd like to go over why your brother is in a coma, if you have a moment?" Another nod.
"Your brother had serious head trauma recently, and from the bruising on his rib cage, we're assuming it to be a fight induced by alcohol. When he was brought here, his alcohol content level was very high and his friends had said he was at a bar, but they hadn't seen the fight break out. This coma could last a few days or months, all depending on James and how quickly his body heals,"
"His current state is stable, he has no highs and no levels. We assume he'll wake up soon, but we have no true idea of when that'll happen. However, we do require your signature for consent to treat him."
"Treat him?" I asked.
"Yes, basic medicines, x-rays, any precautions we may need to take. If and only if, he needs major medical attention would we require your input of what you would like to do. Other than that, it'd only be basic medical attention. If you agree, please sign here." The doctor handed me a clipboard with papers on it, that had dotted lines that needed to be signed. I signed them as need be and handed it back.
"Thank you, I'll be in touch if anything happens. Please continue your visit with him." With that said, the doctor left. I let out a low sigh and looked down at my brother.
"Wake up soon, Jimmy. I need you." I said, before standing up and placing a gentle kiss to his forehead and leaving the hospital.
Some time later, I had managed to end up on the beach that my brother, his friends and I grew up on. I sat in the sand, not caring about the sand inching its way up my shorts. I tucked my knees under my chin and wrapped my around them.
I had missed so much by leaving. I missed my brother's band growing and becoming successful. I missed all their birthdays and life events. I missed them. I missed being the annoying kid sister that followed them around.
I put my forehead against my knees and let the tears fall.
I couldn't handle the memories of being back.
I couldn't stand to remember my ex-boyfriend.
I couldn't stand to remember my brother's sad eyes as I walked away.
I couldn't stand remembering hearing my phone ring all night long.
I couldn't stand to remember all those missed calls, ignored text messages and deleted voicemails.
I couldn't stand to remember, not anymore.
"You're gonna catch a cold, love." His British accent rang out into the warm, evening California air.

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