Untold Misfortunes

Ivy sat in her room for the greater part of the next few days. She was trying to come back to herself, to feel her old person come back to the front of her mind. She knew she was sick; sick in the head from the words Luka had put in her head. She knew what he said was a lie, but she couldn’t believe they were a lie. She felt worthless and like scum; like the words Luka spat at her.
It took her three days before she hesitantly went down to the living room, where she could hear the guys playing video games. She stood in the entryway for quite some time before one of them noticed her and took a minute before all the guys were staring at her and her staring back at them.
“I-I need help. I’d like therapy.” She murmured quietly, her eyes staring at her toes.
“Ivy,” Brian said softly. “Is that what you truly want?”
She quickly nodded her head, curling and uncurling her toes. “If I don’t, I’ll never get better. I have to. I have to get better.”
Brian looked towards Jimmy, who stared at Ivy with wide eyes. “Of course! I’ll call the place you went to last time and set an appointment up. Is that okay?” Jimmy asked.
Ivy nodded, a shadow of smile appearing on her face. “Yes. Thank you, brother.” She went to turn around to go back to her room.
“Hey, Ivy! Why don’t use stay and watch to see if any of us cheats?” Zacky asked and the woman turned back around, walking into the living room. She sat next to Jimmy, rather closely. She wasn’t sure of herself anymore, the guys could tell that, but they were proud of her for braving being with them.
Each of them, including Ivy, missed being around each other. They were a family and family wasn’t family without everyone. So it felt nice with everyone in the same room, playing video games and not arguing or worrying too much.
Ivy enjoyed herself in the time she spent with the boys that evening, she vowed to herself that she’d remember that night forever. She wouldn’t let her broken self push that memory aside and make her forget. No; she wanted to remember how her heart swelled with love for the men in that room. How she was able to briefly let go of her haunting thoughts and laugh and smile with her family.
The following day, Ivy and Jimmy woke up early. He had followed his promise and called the therapy office she had gone to last time. He set up the appointment for that morning, thankful there was cancellation.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this? I want to see you get better, but I don’t want you to rush it.” Jimmy said softly.
“I’m sure, Jimbo. I want to get better. I can’t let him beat me.” The much smaller woman said to her brother.
He smiled proudly down at her, “That is all I can ask for then, Ivy. I’ll take you to your appointment at ten. Why don’t I make you breakfast while you shower?”
Ivy nodded before heading up to her room. She undressed in her bathroom, facing the mirror. She convinced herself that she could look at the image staring back at her without being scared.
The woman staring back at her was thin, pale and scarred. Her once blemish free skin was home to the silver lines of scars, tracing all over her body. Her once toned body was now just home to a skeleton covered in skin. She had to look away before Luka’s words would start to echo in her head, she couldn’t allow that before going into see her therapist.
Jimmy drove his little sister to the office, helped her fill the paperwork out and sat there till her doctor called her name. She looked at him, unsure of herself, but he gave her a hopeful smile and ushered towards the door.
Once the door closed, Ivy broke into tears. She sat on the leather sofa, her therapist staring at her with empathy. It took the small woman awhile to calm down, but when she did, she looked towards the other woman in the room.
Ivy took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before saying, “It happened again. I almost wasn’t able to get myself away from the other person in my head. It felt so good to let her take control and I never knew if I was going to be able to stop it or not.”
Dr. Rass was an older woman, who cared deeply for Ivy. She had never seen a young woman so brave and strong. She deeply hoped that Ivy would turn out on top again, just like before.
“You are here, Ivy. That is the first step. You are here and we can help you. I’ll call in the prescription we got you last time, except maybe a little stronger. We’ll start the meditation today. You’re going to be okay; I promise.” Dr. Rass said in a comforting manner.
“Are you sure, Dr. Rass? I can’t end up being her again. I can’t, I don’t want her to be in control ever again. I hate it. She scared me.” Ivy whispered, looking down at her hands.
“Your other identity will not be the controller of you, Ivy. I won’t allow that to happen. With you back under my care, I’ll take care of you. I’ll help you in every single way I can. You know that.” Dr. Rass gave the other female a reassuring smile. “Let’s start the meditating, hm?”
Dr. Raa and Ivy both sat on the floor and together they closed their eyes, a soft, smooth lullaby in the background. They took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. They did this for at least ten minutes before Ivy’s mind could feel clearer and she could think for herself. She could feel her fears slipping away and the edge she had surrounding her dissolving. It felt good, like she was becoming herself again.
However, Ivy knew this would only last so long before the feelings came back again, but she’d have regular visits to see Dr. Rass. She had hope she’d be able to heal and be to her normal self again. She felt relieved that she had her thoughts back, that she had a grip on reality again.
When the session ended, Ivy felt renewed and she could smile again. She was proud of herself again and knowing that the medication she’d be needing to keep her other self hidden away would be stocked in just a few hours felt relieving. She was ready to start over again and put Luka behind her. She was ready to focus on her brother and family that was waiting for her back at home. She was ready, she felt it in her bones.
Jimmy was waiting in the care, watching his little sister walk out of the building with a smile on her face, made his heart soar. She was going to be coming back, sure this would last for a day or two before she would start to be reverting back inside herself again, but he knew Dr. Rass would be able to work that out of her with enough time.
When Ivy was settled in the car, he drove back to the house, knowing the guys would be anxious for Ivy to return. He was proud of his little sister, for being able to pull through the situation she had gone through. He had no doubt, that this would permanently damage her in some way and he’d come to terms with it when he had to. But at that moment, he was flying high that he had his happy little sister back and he wouldn’t trade that feeling for the world.
When the siblings arrived back at the house, the guys were waiting right by the front door. When the guys saw the smiling little Ivy they remembered, they accepted her into their waiting arms. Shouting praises that they had her in their arms and showering her with familiar love.

Notes