"Peace of mind is less than never"
Chapter 10 - Discharge;
Zacky closed the heavy wooden, leaving the street behind. He heard the distinct car horn of Julie blare off into the early morning light. It was too quiet in the house, he suddenly felt incredibly alone. He kicked off his shoes and began to drag himself upstairs, ignoring the joyful barks of his faithful dogs.
Zacky reached his bedroom and immediately pulled himself under the covers, it wasn't until he was fully submerged in the bed that he noticed the blood encrusted on his jeans and t-shirt a stark reminder of the mornings events. He turned to face to rising sunlight peaking through the curtains and gently closed his eyes, he would only sleep for a few hours, a few wouldn't harm.
Morning soon transitioned through night and into the next afternoon. Zacky had way overslept and had just missed visiting hours. He woke up to find his phone was full of missed calls and voicemails from the hospital letting him know that Mr. Seward was in a stable condition and could be collected early tomorrow afternoon.
Zacky paced his house for hours at a time, trying to fill the day with meaningless activities and television programs. He couldn't concentrate on anything for long though and as the evening wore on he found himself sat staring at the clock, wait patiently for it to tick by. Eventually he fell asleep again on the sofa, partially excited to see his friend again, partially worried about what would happen.
Zacky burst through the hospital doors and charged towards Johnny's room. Even though he had way overslept, Zacky hoped that Johnny hadn't been discharged.
Johnny sat on the bed, crossed legged and staring out of the nearby window. He seemed slightly lost and frightened, almost like an abandoned child. He was wearing an over sized hoodie and a pair of black sweatpants and a muddy pair of white slip on shoes which Julie must have bought over earlier. The black cloth of the hoodie drowned his thinner frame. As soon as Zacky entered the room Johnny noticed and proceeded to tug the sleeves of his hoodie down over his arms.
"You don't need to, I'm the one who found you passed out on the floor". Zacky couldn't help but feel slightly angry about the whole situation. He felt that Johnny was being selfish, keeping such a secret from him, and now was the time to let him know.
"How could you keep this from me, from us? We're best friends for fucks sake, I could have helped you! I hated seeing you like that, you were dying in a pool of your own blood, it looked...it looked....pathetic!" The words spat from Zacky's mouth, he instantly regretted it.
Johnny wiped his face with his sleeves and sniffed, he was obviously upset, not just because of the situation but also at how he'd hurt his friends. Zacky wandered over and sat on the bed next to him, gently putting an arm around him and pulling him further into a hug.
"I'm sorry man. I guess that's not the way to approach this. Look, I've spoken to the nurses and they think its best that you get help, like professional help".
Johnny turned to face his friend for the first time in a few days.
"No. I'm not crazy Zack, I just understand that no-one could possibly love me anymore, especially not after this. I'm embarrassed".
"Of what? The fact that you attempted to kill yourself or that you didn't succeed". Zacky couldn't hold back any longer, he felt that by telling his friend the truth he would be able to help him.
"I've known where you've lived for a while now. It was only confirmed when you got that first taxi back, after the tour had finished, the company was one specifically for that down town area, no other cab firm would go anywhere near that pile of shit place, I rang the company and traced the ride. Your landlady also told me how you've had no money due to gambling debts, she's really nice by the way, I owe her gas money".
Johnny quickly looked at his friend. "Did Julie tell you about the debt then?"
"Yeah she did, she also mentioned that they'd threatened her a few times, her kids too. Boy Johnny you've got yourself into mess". Zacky studied his friend's reaction, he knew that he'd hit a nerve and that now Johnny's guard was completely down.
"How about I cut you a deal. After getting discharged today, you come stay with me for a few days? Just until you clear your head. It'll be fun! Just like old times, we'll play video games and drink beer. It'll help you take your mind off of everything and make you consider for sure whether or not you want to seek professional aid".
Johnny obviously thought about this or a while, it had to be a better option than going back to his own apartment.
"So long as I get to sleep in that biggest bed" he let a small smile slip from his lips.
"Of course, anything you want" Zacky kissed his friend on the forehead and headed out the door to get the discharge papers. He knew that now he was in for a long few days but if it helped Johnny to get better, then it didn't matter.
After spending 3 hours discharging Johnny, with filling out form after form and the nurses performing copious amounts of tests on him to make sure his body functions were back to normal they were ready to leave. Zacky picked up a small shopping bag that at the bottom of the bed, it contained the bloodstained shorts that Johnny had arrived in a few days ago. He sighed and threw the bag in the nearest bin, it was time to help his friend start fresh and old reminders wouldn't help much.
Zacky gently pulled on Johnny's arm leading him out the room and towards the front of the hospital. They had to go at a steady pace so as to not open any wounds or damage Johnny's now fragile vital organs.
"What have you told the others?" Johnny asked as he carefully shuffled along, griping tightly to his friend's side.
"I hadn't told them anything, this is none of their business and even if it was, you have no trouble with them".
"I'll have to tell Matt though....in case he thinks that I don't want to be in the band anymore and that's why I'm acting different".
"Well that's entirely up to you, but try not to think about it too much, rest for a few days at least".
The pair arrived outside the building and towards a taxi that Zacky had booked. He gently opened the door and slid Johnny inside, placing a pillow he had bought from home behind his friends back. He then ran around to the other side of the car and climbed in himself.
The whole journey back the car was silent. Johnny spent the time enjoying the freedom away from the hospital, he found himself looking out of the window, constantly trying to regain some form of normality. Occasionally Zacky should glance back at his friend and found himself smiling, maybe everything would be alright in the end.
Eventually they reached then large house. Johnny hadn't been there in almost a year so had forgotten about the sheer size of it. As Zacky paid the driver he managed to get out of the car and prop himself up on a near by mailbox, waiting to be helped inside. Zacky carefully helped his friend up the stairs and towards the door, he was handling Johnny as delicately at his could, following the nurses orders.
"Can I just go straight to bed?" Johnny asked quietly, as if he needed permission. "I barely slept at the hospital, the man next door was screaming all night".
Zacky began to lead Johnny up the stairs. "Of course you can, the bed's made up with fresh sheets and is all ready for you. I'll make you a hot drink and you can sleep as long as you want and when you wake, I'll be right here and we can go get something to eat".
The pair reached the bedroom and Zacky almost had to lift his friend into the bed and under the covers. Once there he turned his back whilst Johnny gently pulled off his hoodie and snuggled down underneath the expensive quilt. It was warm and safe at Zacky's, no one bothered or questioned him, he could just relax and get better.
Zacky turned around and smiled softly as he noticed Johnny and almost instantly began to fall asleep. He turned to leave the room and he heard a voice.
"Thank you, for everything".
Zacky reached his bedroom and immediately pulled himself under the covers, it wasn't until he was fully submerged in the bed that he noticed the blood encrusted on his jeans and t-shirt a stark reminder of the mornings events. He turned to face to rising sunlight peaking through the curtains and gently closed his eyes, he would only sleep for a few hours, a few wouldn't harm.
Morning soon transitioned through night and into the next afternoon. Zacky had way overslept and had just missed visiting hours. He woke up to find his phone was full of missed calls and voicemails from the hospital letting him know that Mr. Seward was in a stable condition and could be collected early tomorrow afternoon.
Zacky paced his house for hours at a time, trying to fill the day with meaningless activities and television programs. He couldn't concentrate on anything for long though and as the evening wore on he found himself sat staring at the clock, wait patiently for it to tick by. Eventually he fell asleep again on the sofa, partially excited to see his friend again, partially worried about what would happen.
Zacky burst through the hospital doors and charged towards Johnny's room. Even though he had way overslept, Zacky hoped that Johnny hadn't been discharged.
Johnny sat on the bed, crossed legged and staring out of the nearby window. He seemed slightly lost and frightened, almost like an abandoned child. He was wearing an over sized hoodie and a pair of black sweatpants and a muddy pair of white slip on shoes which Julie must have bought over earlier. The black cloth of the hoodie drowned his thinner frame. As soon as Zacky entered the room Johnny noticed and proceeded to tug the sleeves of his hoodie down over his arms.
"You don't need to, I'm the one who found you passed out on the floor". Zacky couldn't help but feel slightly angry about the whole situation. He felt that Johnny was being selfish, keeping such a secret from him, and now was the time to let him know.
"How could you keep this from me, from us? We're best friends for fucks sake, I could have helped you! I hated seeing you like that, you were dying in a pool of your own blood, it looked...it looked....pathetic!" The words spat from Zacky's mouth, he instantly regretted it.
Johnny wiped his face with his sleeves and sniffed, he was obviously upset, not just because of the situation but also at how he'd hurt his friends. Zacky wandered over and sat on the bed next to him, gently putting an arm around him and pulling him further into a hug.
"I'm sorry man. I guess that's not the way to approach this. Look, I've spoken to the nurses and they think its best that you get help, like professional help".
Johnny turned to face his friend for the first time in a few days.
"No. I'm not crazy Zack, I just understand that no-one could possibly love me anymore, especially not after this. I'm embarrassed".
"Of what? The fact that you attempted to kill yourself or that you didn't succeed". Zacky couldn't hold back any longer, he felt that by telling his friend the truth he would be able to help him.
"I've known where you've lived for a while now. It was only confirmed when you got that first taxi back, after the tour had finished, the company was one specifically for that down town area, no other cab firm would go anywhere near that pile of shit place, I rang the company and traced the ride. Your landlady also told me how you've had no money due to gambling debts, she's really nice by the way, I owe her gas money".
Johnny quickly looked at his friend. "Did Julie tell you about the debt then?"
"Yeah she did, she also mentioned that they'd threatened her a few times, her kids too. Boy Johnny you've got yourself into mess". Zacky studied his friend's reaction, he knew that he'd hit a nerve and that now Johnny's guard was completely down.
"How about I cut you a deal. After getting discharged today, you come stay with me for a few days? Just until you clear your head. It'll be fun! Just like old times, we'll play video games and drink beer. It'll help you take your mind off of everything and make you consider for sure whether or not you want to seek professional aid".
Johnny obviously thought about this or a while, it had to be a better option than going back to his own apartment.
"So long as I get to sleep in that biggest bed" he let a small smile slip from his lips.
"Of course, anything you want" Zacky kissed his friend on the forehead and headed out the door to get the discharge papers. He knew that now he was in for a long few days but if it helped Johnny to get better, then it didn't matter.
After spending 3 hours discharging Johnny, with filling out form after form and the nurses performing copious amounts of tests on him to make sure his body functions were back to normal they were ready to leave. Zacky picked up a small shopping bag that at the bottom of the bed, it contained the bloodstained shorts that Johnny had arrived in a few days ago. He sighed and threw the bag in the nearest bin, it was time to help his friend start fresh and old reminders wouldn't help much.
Zacky gently pulled on Johnny's arm leading him out the room and towards the front of the hospital. They had to go at a steady pace so as to not open any wounds or damage Johnny's now fragile vital organs.
"What have you told the others?" Johnny asked as he carefully shuffled along, griping tightly to his friend's side.
"I hadn't told them anything, this is none of their business and even if it was, you have no trouble with them".
"I'll have to tell Matt though....in case he thinks that I don't want to be in the band anymore and that's why I'm acting different".
"Well that's entirely up to you, but try not to think about it too much, rest for a few days at least".
The pair arrived outside the building and towards a taxi that Zacky had booked. He gently opened the door and slid Johnny inside, placing a pillow he had bought from home behind his friends back. He then ran around to the other side of the car and climbed in himself.
The whole journey back the car was silent. Johnny spent the time enjoying the freedom away from the hospital, he found himself looking out of the window, constantly trying to regain some form of normality. Occasionally Zacky should glance back at his friend and found himself smiling, maybe everything would be alright in the end.
Eventually they reached then large house. Johnny hadn't been there in almost a year so had forgotten about the sheer size of it. As Zacky paid the driver he managed to get out of the car and prop himself up on a near by mailbox, waiting to be helped inside. Zacky carefully helped his friend up the stairs and towards the door, he was handling Johnny as delicately at his could, following the nurses orders.
"Can I just go straight to bed?" Johnny asked quietly, as if he needed permission. "I barely slept at the hospital, the man next door was screaming all night".
Zacky began to lead Johnny up the stairs. "Of course you can, the bed's made up with fresh sheets and is all ready for you. I'll make you a hot drink and you can sleep as long as you want and when you wake, I'll be right here and we can go get something to eat".
The pair reached the bedroom and Zacky almost had to lift his friend into the bed and under the covers. Once there he turned his back whilst Johnny gently pulled off his hoodie and snuggled down underneath the expensive quilt. It was warm and safe at Zacky's, no one bothered or questioned him, he could just relax and get better.
Zacky turned around and smiled softly as he noticed Johnny and almost instantly began to fall asleep. He turned to leave the room and he heard a voice.
"Thank you, for everything".
11/17/13