five; demons

I woke up completely alone in Matt’s bed, which was perfectly okay with me; I didn’t exactly want to see the face of the man I had made one too many mistakes with.

I quickly slipped out of his bed and back into my clothes from yesterday. I decided that I should go home and check on Brian, make sure he didn’t drink himself to death.

Once I got downstairs I noticed a piece of paper on the table, I quickly went over to it, and it was a note from Matt.

Axl,

Last night was great, I know you must have a hundred things running through your head, please don’t freak out, we’ll talk when I get home later.
-Matt

I instantly felt guilty for leaving but I knew what happened last night was a mistake and it was wrong, so wrong, I am married; to an amazing man, who is going through a hard time. I need to be there for him the best I can, even if it means staying out of his way.

I knew he would be upset that I left, especially after the way Brian has been acting.I felt so guilty
I was almost thinking of telling Brian what had happened, but I couldn’t do that to Matt, it would end his marriage; and I couldn’t do that to Val, not again.

“Hello?” I called out as I walked into my big empty house.

There was no answer and no sign of Brian anywhere; I walked around the house cautiously looking for him.

I was about to pour myself a drink and sit and wait when my phone started to go off, it was Matt.

I quickly hit the ignore button desperate to find Brian now.

I decided I would go check the studio, although I was a little scared to go down there, I wasn’t sure what I'd find, I slowly crept the door open it was pitch black and reeked of stale booze.

I quickly pulled out my phone to use as a flash light, my feet kicked some empty bottles around as I made my way across the room; I stopped in my tracks quickly as I realized Brian was laying on the couch completely passed out.

I raced over to him and checked his body for a pulse luckily there was one. I almost threw up when I saw the empty needle on the floor and the tie still in his hand.

This is why Brian had been acting so weird lately, he wasn’t drunk all the time he was high and not in a good way.

Brian had no idea I was even here right now, his body was sweaty and he reeked of sweat and alcohol, I didn’t know what to do now.

Do I call an ambulance? Do I rat out my husband? Maybe I should go tell Matt I thought, no I couldn’t, this was so awful even for synsyter gates.

I began to get nauseous I felt as If I might throw up or pass out I wasn’t quite sure, but I definitely have to get out of here.

I ran out of the room and straight outside, I began puking in the drive way, I couldn’t stop it felt like everything I had eaten in the last week was coming up.

Once I was pretty sure I was done, I jumped in my car and started driving; my mind was racing with thoughts.

What am I doing? I thought, I need to call an ambulance, get Brian help now. But he’s a rock star and everyone will know and Brian really didn’t need that right now.

This was my all fault; if I had just stayed at home instead of turning to Matt for companionship I might have noticed the drugs and things wouldn’t have gotten this bad.

I turned into Matt’s driveway and turned off my car, I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t even realize I was driving here.

I knew I didn’t want to be here but my body said something different, next thing I knew I was slowly getting out of my car, weeping like a big baby I dragged myself up to Matt’s doorstep and knocked.

Matt answered the door, “Jesus Christ, you look like shit what happened?” he said almost in a whisper.

I couldn’t even talk, I just began crying even harder, I’m sure Matt was getting quite sick of this, me always showing up crying not being able to talk, but I admire him for always letting me back in.

Matt pulled me into the house, something was different about Matt this time, he wasn’t as nurturing or caring as he usually was, he was almost on edge.

I followed slowly behind him as we entered the kitchen, there stood Val much to my surprise.

At first her face was stern when she seen me walk in, but then soften as soon as she seen my state of mind.

“Oh my god, Axl. What’s going on?” Val asked as she put her arms around me.

“I-i-I’m sorry to bother you guys I just didn’t know where else to go” was the first thing I blurted out.

“Don’t be silly, you know were always here for you no matter what” Val finished saying.

Oh god, I felt like I was going to throw up now, little did she know that I was still fucking her husband even after everything.

“What’s going on?” Matt asked again.

I shook my head, “I can’t tell you, it’s too horrible” I said through my tears.

“You can tell us anything” Val said, as she held my hand.

My mind started racing even more, yeah, how about I tell you how while you’ve been away I’ve been consoling in your husband and last night we had sex in your bed, yet again. I couldn’t tell Val anything, I couldn’t tell her about last night and I couldn’t tell her about Brian.

I started crying uncontrollably again, “its all my fault, this is all my fault, I don’t deserve to be here” I muttered out through my sobs.

I bet I seemed like a crazy person to them, but I knew what I was talking about.

“Hunny we want to help you, but you have to calm down and tell us what is going on” Val said in a calm voice.

No, I thought, I almost ruined their marriage once; maybe almost twice if word ever got out about last night, I didn’t need to burden them with Brian’s drug problem too. I needed to go home.

“I need to go home” I said almost in a straight tone.

I quickly got up and ran out of Matt and Val’s house; I hopped in my car and began driving home.

Matt’s Pov:

When Axl showed up here crying I have to admit I was a little more than scared, I thought it was definitely going to be about last night.

Val had shown up un expectantly tonight, asking questions about why people had been saying I had been hanging out with Axl.

I was completely un prepared, Axl’s weird eruption was a bit of a blessing in disguise.

“What the hell was that all about?” Val asked looking at me.

“I really don’t know, she’s been having problems with Brian” I said.

“is that why you’ve been hanging out with her? You’re trying to help her with Brian?” Val asked, with a sense of sincerity in her voice.

I almost fucking jumped out of my skin when I heard her say that, this was the perfect excuse for me hanging out with Axl and Val came up with it.

“Y-yeah, I just didn’t want you to be angry, but Brian has been pretty awful to Axl lately and she needed a friend” I said, it wasn’t hard to say any of this because it was in fact the truth, although I may be leaving some parts out, it was still mostly truth.

Val looked at me and let out a sigh, “I guess I can’t be mad at my husband for being a caring friend, despite past events”

I gave Val a smile, a piece of my heart sank when she said that, she was too damn good for me, she fucking forgave me for having an affair and I did it again even after she had given birth to my child; maybe I shouldn’t be in a relationship.

“Matt, go get Zack and head over to Brians and make sure Axl is alright, I can see the wheels in your head turning” Val said as she took my hand.

“Are you sure?” I asked, I wanted to go more than anything, but I didn’t want Val to feel I was ditching her for Axl.

“I’m sure, River and I will still be here when you get home, were not leaving until tomorrow” Val said with a smile.

I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek “Thanks hun, I’ll be back as soon as I can” I said, as I
grabbed my keys and phone and headed over to Zack’s.

I pulled up to Zack’s house, as I was walking up to the door it suddenly occurred to me that I haven’t seen or heard from Zack in forever, and what exactly would I say to him.

“Hey, What’s up man?” Zack asked as he opened the door.

He totally caught me off guard, “Oh hey, how have you been?” I asked.

“You know about as good as any of us can be” he said with a small smile.

“How have you been?” He asked.

“I’ve been alright actually, but I’m here because of Axl”

“What about her?” Zack asked.

”Well she’s been having troubles with Brian..” I started to say.

“So you guys have been hanging out again then, does Val know?” Zack retorted.

Ugh, I thought of course he would want to do this right now.

“Yes, Val knows, Zack can we not do this right now, your sister showed up at my house today crying her eyes out, saying it was all her fault and that she doesn’t deserve to be here, I have no idea what she was talking about, but she left not too long ago, and I think we should go check on her”

“Well shit, let’s go” Zack said as he grabbed his coat and followed me to my car.

We drove to Brian’s house and luckily Axl’s car was here; we walked into the house it was dark and cold, it was like no one had lived here in years.

“jesus, no wonder Axl doesn’t to be here” I muttered to myself.

“Ill go upstairs you go down” I said to Zack he nodded and went downstairs.

I quickly jogged up the stairs and looked around in the bedrooms, as I turned into the hallway I noticed the bathroom light was on.

I quietly walked over to the bathroom,I slowly opened the door there was blood everywhere; Axl was sprawled out on the floor, she looked unconscious.

My heart began racing as I knelt down beside her, I check for a pulse luckily there was a small one, I quickly dialed 911 and held Axl’s hand.

“Stay with me hun” I whispered as tears began to fill my eyes.

“Jesus what the fuck is going on?” I heard Zack say as paramedics rushed in and up the stairs.

I couldn’t help but let tears fall down my face as they carried away Axl on a stretcher.

“Fuck, jesus Christ, don’t you fucking die on me Axl, you can’t do this to me” Zack cried out.
It honestly broke my heart to hear him like this, but he was right she couldn’t do this to him, to us, not after Jim.

“Jesus Fuck, this is because of that fucking drug addict downstairs isn’t it?” Zack ask almost screaming at me.

“What drug addict, what the fuck are you talking about man?” I questioned.

“Brian downstairs, he’s got a needle still in his fucking arm, hes passed out” Zack said through sniffled cries.

“That son of a bitch” I whispered, “get him in the car, we’ll drop him off at my house before heading to the hospital” I said.

Zack nodded and rapidly ran downstairs.

Fuck, I was freaking out right now – That’s why Brian had been so violent and strange lately, he was fucking addicted to drugs, I couldn’t believe this.

No wonder Axl said he seemed like a different person, god I felt so bad for her and with us sleeping together the other night I bet she was just such a mess.

I quickly pulled myself to together and ran the stairs and into my car where Zack and a very passed out Brian were.

Zacks POV:

As we entered Brians house and it was the most lifeless place I’ve seen in a while, I couldn’t believe my baby sister was living here.

Matt said to check downstairs I agreed and made my way quickly downstairs; I could smell the stale beer from outside the studio door.

I nearly gagged as I walked into the dark room, “Brian?” I quietly asked.

I got no reply, I vaguely could see a dark figure on the couch, I kicked some bottles that were sitting at my feet and scurried to turn on the light.

When I flicked the light on I seen brian sprawled out on the couch with a needle sticking out of his arm.

“Fuck” I whispered under my breath.

I was almost happy that I was the one to find Brian like this; if it was Matt he would have freaked out and called the cops or something.

I have to admit I was a bit shocked that this fucker would do this while my sister was around, but I use to have a heroin problem myself and I knew how it could make you forget.

Fuck I really wish I had been there for Axl more, at least Matt had been there.

Notes