♡LOLA'S POV♡

Every single one of my muscles froze at the heavenly sound of that familiar yet distant voice. All of the happy memories I had shared with this man flared up in my mind and a mixture of joy and fear rushed through me. What was he doing here?

I pulled up the covers of the bed up around me and twisted myself so I was sitting upright, suddenly conscious of how little I was wearing and of my bed ruffled hair. Brian didn't seem to mind my appearance; his tawny eyes didn't waver from my face as I shifted uncomfortably.

"I'll be off then," Zacky cleared his throat and slid off the bed. "Will you be ok, Lola?" He asked me knowingly, the concern in his voice apparant.

I gave him a weak smile and shooed him away. A wave of gratitude suddenly encompassed me for this kind man; he had taken in me when I was at my most damaged and hadn't had a bad word to say about it. Zacky had such a big heart.

"I'll be fine Zee," I told him reassuringly. And with that, he gave me one last supporting smile and left the room, gently closing the door behind him.

Brian and I awkwardly stared at different corners of the room in silence, neither of us knowing how to break it. The built up tension from the last two months surrounded us, creating a stilted and stuffy atmosphere. How could I possibly know what to say to him? 'Oh hi Brian, the last time I saw you was when your face was purple and your best friend had nearly killed you. And the time before that you nearly died of an overdose.' Not the best conversation starter ever.

Brian stepped forward with his hands stuffed deep in his pockets, the picture of humility and forgiveness. "I've missed you," he admitted quietly, his remorseful mumble finally breaching the silence.

"You shouldn't have taken drugs behind my back then, should you?" I snapped sharply, the cutting edge to my tone even causing me to be shocked. A flash of pain ran across Brian's face before he masked it and bit his lip in brief annoyance.

He ran a tattooed hand through his considerably longer hair; it reached past his ears and was curly at the tips. "I've already apologised for that," he said as his eyebrows furrowed into a frown. "What more do you want?"

Anger stormed through me at his flippant question. There was so much more I wanted from him that I'd had to give up when he slashed my trust by lying to me. I took a deep breath before answering him but I couldn't manage to keep all of my frustration contained.

"I risked so much by abandoning my life back in Scotland and leaving to come here and you still-"

"Oh please," he scoffed, cutting me off mid sentence. "You're life back in Scotland was a fucking mess."

My face flushed with fury and my hands gripped the bed covers as his cruel words erupted from his sharp mouth. "And how is my life now any better?" I screamed at him, tears of rage sprouting in my eyes and spilling rapidly down my face. "All I've seen here is you and your band fighting and you flaunting your disgusting drug use. I would take a million beatings from my pathetic Dad over one more day here!"

We both stared at each other, our chests heaving up and down and our faces an angry shade of red. His previously light eyes had darkened into a merciless shade of black and his fists were balled up tightly against his legs.

"Tell me you don't mean that?" He stuttered, his voice either cracking from anger or sadness, I couldn't read anything from his inky depthless eyes.

I shrugged and dropped my gaze, picking at the thread of the sheets and avoiding his burning stare. "This just hasn't turned out how I thought it would."

I continued tearing at the thread, watching it as it unravelled in my hands. I didn't look up as I felt the weight of Brian sink down on the edge of the bed.

"Talk to me. Please. Tell me how you thought it would turn out?" he asked, suddenly gentle and soft, coaxing an answer out of me.

"I just thought that you and me would do loads of stuff together and that we'd all be like one big family." I muttered lamely, aware of how immature and childlike I sounded.

Brian's hand reached out and cupped my chin, tilting my head up to meet his gaze. His eyes hadn't lightened from their sooty blackness but they now resembled liquid ebony pools rather than emotionless lumps of hard coal. A tear spilled down my cheek, trailing it's way down my saddened face before falling onto Brian's hand. His eyes flicked down to the splash of misery glistening on the 'A' of his 'MALBORO' tattoo and I again caught that quick flash of pain marring his face before it reverted back to its original mask.

"We did stuff," he stated simply. A hint of vulnerability shadowed his voice as if he was worried that he hadn't done enough to keep me happy when we were together.

I sighed and replied, "I know we did. We had good times together Bri. But in the end it all comes down to what you did to me."

His hand dropped from my face and fell defeatedly into his lap. I watched it intently, studying the lines of his tattoos closely as I waited for him to speak.

"I'm going through a lot at the moment," he told me blandly.

"That's not a good enough excuse right now Brian," I spat out, annoyed at his constant avoidance at talking about his problems. "You either tell me exactly what was going through your head that night you overdosed or I will get Zacky in here to kick you out and then El and I will catch the next flight out of here."

My threat hung heavy in the air and Brian seemed to recognise the seriousness of it as he sighed then met my eyes as he started to speak.

"I've had a problem with drugs since I was about 17. I got my first hit and that was me, pretty much hooked," the shame in his voice caused another tear to fall from my eye. "It's not like I take it every day but I do crave it every so often and then I've got to get a fix. When I first met you I thought you would be enough to get rid of the cravings for good. You were so pure and innocent that you almost seemed to ward off my cravings. But then they came back with a vengeance and it was all I could think about. That, that night I was feeling pretty cut up and Zack offered me some and before I knew it I was passed out cold in the bathroom."

He trailed off, leaving me to absorb his words. My heart was encased in a heavy and suffocating fear. His bluntness shed light on how bad his problem was and how much he needed professional help. As much as I wanted to be the one to support him through this and be his saviour, I knew that he needed more than me.

Brian's head hung down, his wavy hair hiding his face like a black curtain. His fingers nervously cracked his knuckles as he tried to hide the tremors that ran through them.

"Thank you for telling me that. Brian, that was brave of you," I tried to keep my voice soothing as if I was talking to a scared animal. "We're going to take what you just said there and tell it to someone who can give you proper help, ok?"

I expected him to protest avidly or at least put up a bit of a fight but he simply nodded his bowed head and covered his face with his hands. The sight of my beautiful Brian so defeated and meloncholy struck a chord with me and I reached across the bed and wrapped my arms round his taut body. He let out a choked gasp as if he had been starved of my touch for too long and fisted his hands in my pyjama top, gripping me to him tightly. I rubbed my palm in circles on his back calmingly as he breathed in the skin at the nape of my neck.

"I'll get help on one condition," he whispered against my neck, his voice so faint that I had to strain to hear it.

"Name it," I whispered back.

"You need to go to therapy at least once a week to help with these nightmares and you need to start eating; I can feel your ribs."

I leaned back and smiled, "That's two conditions."

He raised his eyebrows at my sass and then said, "I'm being serious Lola. I'll sort out my problems if you sort out yours. We can help each other through the process."

I rolled my eyes but agreed, "That sounds like a good plan."

He nuzzled my collarbone and softly breathed his cool breath on the sensitive skin there, "thank you."

---

We stayed cuddled on the bed for a while longer, not needing to speak to fill the silence but simply happy to be in each others arms. After about half an hour Brian carefully stood up and said he needed to speak to Zacky.

"You're coming back though right?" I asked quickly, betraying my fear that he would leave and not come back.

One side of his mouth quirked up in a small smile and he replied, "Of course, just relax until I come back."

I sank back into a pillow and watched him exit the room, a strange sense of peace washing over me. His familiar scent clung to me; the earthy scent of the forest mixed with the faint smell of cigarettes. It was like coming home.

I replayed our conversation in my head. I was ecstatic that Brian was going to seek help but at the same time I resented the knowledge that it was going to be a really long journey for both of us. He wouldn't find it easy to give up something that had been such a big part of his life for so long. And I wouldn't find it easy to stand by him through such a challenging time but I knew that we were both going to try our best because we had our relationship to fight for.

I got up from my bed and walked across the room to grab my hoody from the closet before zipping it over myself. I needed to go tell El that Brian and I were back on speaking terms before I bursted!

I opened the door and walked through the hall, looking into the living room to see if El was there. She wasn't there but Brian and Zacky were. At first I thought they were hugging but then I saw that Brian had his head bowed on Zacky's chest and was shaking violently. Zacky had his hands on Brian's back and was talking quietly in his eat, looking worried and strained. I inched closer without making any noise, trying to hear what they were saying.

"... knows you love her so you just need to be there for her throughout this," Zacky said soothingly. It seemed they were talking about mine and Brian's conversation so I was about to creep away.

"But it kills me to look at her and know that I haven't been there for the last couple of years," Brian sobbed, his voice tortured and broken.

Wait, Brian hadn't known me for years so who were they talking about and why was Brian so upset?

"You're here now so make the most of it," Zacky murmured.

"I know, I know," Brian heaved. "But how do I explain to Lola when I'm sneaking off? What do I say?"

I stepped into the living room and sharply said, "I don't know. What should you say to her?"

Brian leaped back from Zacky and looked at me, shocked. His eyes were bloodshot and rimmed red from crying. Fear twisted his features and he glanced desperately to Zacky for help.

It seemed Brian still wasn't being completely honest with me.

Notes

I'm really really sorry about the delay!! I've had writers block and just didn't know where to go next with it.

I hope you all like this chapter and please write a wee comment saying how you like how I've dealt with their conversation. I haven't written in a while so I might be a bit rusty!

What do you think Brian is still hiding from Lola? Who is this mysterious girl?

Thanks for reading guys!