Reliving the Nightmare

♡LOLA'S POV♡

God help him. God help us all.

Brian, my beautiful Brian. Why would you do this to yourself?

I bit down on my fist hard, drawing blood as I stared in horror at the mangled scene in front of me. My screams had subsided into desperate moans of disbelief and I could feel bile rising at the back of my throat, swiftly followed by a sense of dread.

Brian was crouched over the sink in a defensive hunch, those brown, soulful eyes staring at me from the sunken depths of his sockets. His hair hung in limp strands with some sticking to his shiny forehead, slick with perspiration. His usually vibrant face was a deadly white, contrasting with the black circles lining his eyes. He looked dead.

Scattered around him were the remnants of what had caused this. White powder dusted the edge of the sink, looking deceptively like sherbert and needles lay innocently beside it. I gagged on my own horror at the situation he had got himself into. He had made this choice to do drugs. He had been doing it behind my back this whole time and I had been so blind. I should have known better; he was a famous guitarist from a metal band and that's just what people like this do. How could I have been so stupid?

Nausea bloomed in my stomach and I couldn't hold it any longer. I rushed deeper into the bathroom, clutching my stomach, and collapsed by the toilet, puking up into it. I threw up all the contents of my stomach and then continued to dry heave as if it were possible to dispel these feelings of betrayal as well.

After, I sat on the cold tiles of the floor and held my head in my hands. Nerves jangle through my body at the uncomfortable proximity of the drugs; I had never been this close to them before and it was making me extremely anxious. They were one if the things that my parents had warned me away from that I actually agreed with. They were pointless and dangerous and I had vowed that I would never get mixed up with anyone that used them. Drug users only dragged other people down with them.

A shifting from underneath the sink caused me to raise my head. I looked past Brian's legs and was shocked to see Zacky curled up in a fetal position on the floor, his hands running frantically through his hair. Wait, so they had been doing it together? This was getting worse and worse.

I lifted myself up from the ground and flushed the toilet numbly. I shuffled over to where Brian was hunched and slipped my hand round his damp waist.

"Brian? Brian, honey? Can you tell me what you've taken please?" I attempted to speak clearly and calmly but I couldn't help a tremor that coursed through my voice. I had no idea what to do here but a deep instinct inside of me told me that I needed to ensure that Brian and Zack hadn't overdosed or whatever other bad things that could happen with drugs.

He leaned further over the sink and shivered, just as a pitiful groan reverberated through his body. A helpless tear escaped from my eye and trailed down my cheek because I had no idea what to do. This looked like some kind of withdrawal or maybe he was coming down from his high, I wasn't sure.

"Brian, tell me what drugs you've taken," I strengthened my tone and tightened my grip on him. I lifted my head and prayed for some kind of help. Somebody tell me what to do.

Brian let out a mumble that dissolved into a groan.

"What was that? Speak up, Bri," I tensely told him.

"Cocaine and heroine," he muttered before sinking to his knees. I tried to lift him but he was too heavy for me so I let him lay on the floor.

"Both of them?" I cried, as I clasped my hands together and twisted them again and again. My breath came quick and fast as thoughts ran through my mind rapidly and I tried to calm myself but to no avail.

What was I meant to do? I had never taken drugs in my life and I wasn't sure if this was normal when someone had taken drugs. Maybe this was what happened every time. But surely not? Surely this terrifying reaction wasn't natural?

I wrapped my arms around my stomach, trying to physically hold in my rising panic. My face crumpled as I looked at Brian's unresponsive body lying next to Zacky. Two corpses lined up in their graves.

As if acting on autopilot, my legs kicked into action and moved out of the bathroom. I felt like I was disconnected form my body as I sprinted through mine and Brian's bedroom and down the stairs until I was finally in the garden. I stumbled across the grass to the only person that I thought could help us right now.

"Hey Lola, did you get my shirt?" Matt looked at my empty hands as I came to a shaky halt in front of him. His gaze flicked from them to my distraught face and his expression tightened.

"What's wrong?" He barked, his hands curling into fists.

"Please help," I choked out as I grabbed his arm, pulling him towards the house. To his credit, he didn't question me but instead he sensed my urgency and broke into a run as we went back into the house. As we ran up the stairs, the roles reversed and it was him dragging me because I suddenly felt as if all my energy had drained out of me. I think I was going into shock.

I weakly pushed him in the direction of the bedroom and he calmly strode in and went into the bathroom. I followed as far as the door, but chose to remain outside, just peering in.

Upon seing Zacky and Brian sprawled on the tiles, he swore then glanced back at me, looking thunderous.

"I am so sorry you had to see them like this Lola," he sincerely told me before turning back round and focusing on them. He leaned down and positioned his hands underneath Brian's armpits, before dragging him out of the bathroom slowly. I moved out of the way so Matt could heave him onto the bed. I bit my lip as I watched my man be dropped harshly and I winced when I heard him cry out in pain.

"Lola, if you're ok to help could you please wet a cloth and wipe Brian's face please?" Matt's voice was dead and I could tell that he was containing his anger at his band members. When he lifted Zacky, he was much less careful and I exhaled shakily as Zacky was bumped and knocked against furniture as Matt dragged him before chucking him onto the bed beside Brian.

I swallowed heavily then grabbed a small hand towel to wet underneath the tap. I studiously ignored the drugs and needles, focusing only on wetting this towel. Just wet the towel. Wet the towel.

I went back into he bedroom with the wet towel then cautiously sat next to Brian and began wiping his pale face. He stirred at the contact but his eyes remained closed as I continued to carefully sponge him. I blinked and wasn't surprised when another tear escaped and ran down my cheek. It trailed a regretful path then slid off of my chin to land on Brian's forehead. I wiped it off then leaned my head against his, letting my tears run freely. This wasn't what I had signed up for. When I had agreed to come with Brian there had been no mention of drugs.

"Lola, can I grab that towel so I can do Zack?" Matt asked me softly. I held out my hand with the towel but kept my head pressed against Brian and I felt Matt take it from me.

I lifted my legs onto the bed and curled up against Brian like we did when we were going to sleep. I laid my hand on his chest and pressed my nose into the side of his ribs, inhaling deeply. The comforting scent of earth and my favourite 'Brian-y' smell that couldn't be described hit my nostrils and grounded me.

This was Brian. I had known him for barely two weeks and those two weeks had been the best time of my life. I had never laughed so hard, nor been as happy any other time in my life as I had with Brian. I loved him. I loved him with all my heart and I knew I always would. We were meant to be together forever and I would die if we were ever seperated.

But he had lied to me. Maybe not directly to my face but he had purposely hidden from me his drug use. And it hurt. It hurt that I had put my trust into him and he had thrown it aside for one high. I didn't want to be the type of girl that was walked on by a man then forgave them instantly. I had done that all my life with my Father but it stopped now.

It would kill me but Brian could no longer be a part of my life. He was on a downwards spiral and I would not join him on that steady descent. I love him with every fibre of my being but I also love myself. And if this was the kind of lifestyle he wanted to live then I needed out.

My body was wracked with sobs at my heartbreaking decision and I clung desperately to Brian's solid frame, pressing my body tight against his so I could imprint his shape on me for always. I shifted so I was looking at his perfect face. I stared at him, memorising every angle and line, searing him onto my brain. I clumsily dropped my lips onto his, my tears mixing with our mouths as I savoured the feeling of him beneath me. I let out one last heaving cry then let him go, springing off the bed.

"I love you Brian. Damn you," I whispered softly to him.

I wiped my tears away then turned to where Matt was sitting beside Zacky with an unreadable expression on his face, watching me intently.

"I'm going to need a place to stay," I said to him, my voice flat and void of any feeling. My insides had turned to stone and my heart was as warm as a block of ice.

"Say no more," Matt told me gently.

He stood up and came beside me, pulling me into him. We walked out together, leaving Brian and Zacky lying sleeping on the bed.

A piece of me still lay with Brian, but I didn't look back.

Notes

Um so... That happened...

Any thoughts? What does everyone think will happen next? Will Lola cave and go back to Brian or will she commit to her desicion to block him from her life altogether?

Thanks for continuing to read and comment!:):):)

L xxx