Brian’s POV

Now I knew exactly how Jimmy normally felt, I never thought I would actually say that at one point, but this morning… I just knew it.
I was pacing before my bunk, running up and down, I redressed for the second time by now and went back to the bathroom mirror to check my hair.

I knew Zack was eyeing me the entire time with a funny expression, but honestly I didn’t care, wouldn’t be the first and not the last time… so what the hell.

Since I didn’t get the chance to talk to Avery yesterday when she went back to the bus early, I planned on meeting her at the first opportunity during the break.
When we were making a pit stop and we grabbed some food I would just grab her and walk away, finally trying to get a talk with her.

I was thinking about the right words, again and again, I still wasn’t really sure what I should say, cause my thoughts were just so confused but I had to say something or we would get this weird behavior never out of our system.

I wanted her again, she wanted me, I just knew that.
And she had to like me, I mean we were good together that night, and it wouldn’t just be over because I might have overreacted a little bit and treated her like a normal one nightstand right?
At that time I thought she was a normal one night stand but she really wasn’t… as long as it took me to find out…

I wasn’t used to this, so how could she blame me…
If I wanted a relationship? Hell, how do I know if I never really wanted a girl to stay longer then for the night… but now… fuck I didn’t know…

I just wanted to spend some time with her, time with her alone and see where this would lead us…
I mean I couldn’t promise the happy ever after, but who could?

Probably Matt would?! That fucker wasn’t in our bus, so he must be in Maya’s, and either these two killed each other from anger or fucked each other to death… one of those it must be…
And I could see from the murderous glare in his eyes yesterday that he was far from being done with her and the way she had looked at him, it was the same…

I felt a little connected to Maya if I gotta be honest, I knew she also was planning to just have fun but Matt kinda turned her upside down, and didn’t Ave did the same with me? Well, not in the same time frame and Matt and Maya were both a little over the top with their behavior, but still… maybe she wasn’t as bad as I thought, when I could compare her to me, she must be pretty awesome… and she definitely was a handful or better two handful for Matt to handle, that fucker would curse and punch more walls if that really would continue…

The driver announced our next stop for breakfast and out of the back window I could see the roadie bus, fuck yeah, this was finally my chance.
I wouldn’t let anything come between us now, I would get her a coffee, grab her arm, lead her away from everyone and get a nice long talk with her, maybe we couldn’t settle it all but I could at least make a start… I just had to make sure Jason wasn’t around.

That guy could really ruin a good time, like yesterday, if he hadn’t been around the entire time and took her to some shitty ice cream date I would have made my move yesterday.
And not only that he made me feel left out, again and again, he made me want to take her on a shitty ice cream date, the way she had talked about her favorite ice… fucking hell she nearly moaned, and I had heard these little moan before… when we were in bed together… her and me… and I wanted that again…

As soon as the bus door opened, Jimmy jumped out and I was right behind him, the other bus wasn’t there yet, but must pull up every second, I would get her a coffee and bring it to her, then we could go somewhere more private and I could finally use the time…

“What’s going on with you today, Haner?” Jimmy asked and ordered himself a coffee and needed an eternity to order something to eat, that I was only a second away from shoving him out of my way when he finally finished his order.

I didn’t reply, cause I didn’t feel like starting a discussion with him now so I quickly order two coffee to go and paid and nearly ran outside, I looked down on the coffee when I heard voices before me. I looked up and froze in place.

There she was, the woman I wanted to talk to, wanted to see and convince that she should be spending more time with me… but she was kissing someone else… and it was not a peck on the lips it was a slow and sweet kiss, a kiss with meaning?

My mouth was hanging open and the breath caught in my throat, what the fuck? Why was she kissing him?
Why, was she smiling at him and why was he looking like.. oh hell no… they didn’t, she didn’t… did she? Did they?

I closed my mouth and was debating with myself if I should go there and still talking to her or ignore her from now on, but I still wasn’t sure what all this meant?!
What happened yesterday? I had to find out and I had to find out now!

I stormed over to her and Avery’s eyes opened wide while Jason took a step closer to Avery, being so near to her that I felt this unknown green beast roaring to live, with the kiss it has woken but right now it was fully awake, wanting a piece of Jason for daring to touch her like that!

“I need to speak to you, now and alone!” I said to her and grabbed her arm while I shoved the two coffee cups into Jason’s hand and he looked at me with narrowed eyes.
“What the fuck, no!” Jason was about to shove them back to me but I already had Avery’s arm in a firm grip and guided her away from the group.

“Brian, you are starting to hurt me… let go.” She shook on my arm and I loosened my grip not realizing just how much strength I put into it.
When we were a good distance away from the other I turned around and looked at Avery, her blue eyes meeting mine and I opened my mouth and closed it again, how… and what should I say now?!

“What do you want Brian?” She asked her voice softer now. “What I want? What I freaking want?” I nearly yelled and she flinched a little taking a minimal step back but I noticed so I tried to calm down.
“You want to know what I want?” I asked trying not to sound to aggressive.

“Yes, I want to know that. Why are you yelling and looking like you want rip my head off or something” She asked and I really couldn’t understand, how she could not know that!
How could she not realize why I acted that way?
After our last kiss, after we talked at the party yesterday…

And yes I wanted to rip a head off, but not hers, my eyes turned towards Jason who was talking to Jimmy and a thought crossed my mind, Jimmy had been distracting me yesterday…
Jimmy and Jason were close, oh hell no, don’t freaking tell me that he had something to do with all this?!

“What I wanna know is why he is kissing you like that?! And where have you been yesterday? I told you I wanted to see you and had plans, why did you just leave?” I asked and felt a little desperate.

“Well, I didn’t know I had to be ready for you whenever you wanted… I had plans of my own and I enjoyed them… and I think it is none of your business who I kiss… or whatever I do in my private life. You, Mr. Synyster Gates were pretty clear that the thing between us was just a one night stand, so I don’t know what you want from me now…” She narrowed her eyes at me and the sweet and shy Avery I got to know where nowhere to be seen…

Shit, she was right.. I had no rights… but… what if I wanted to have them?! Did I?

“And what happened yesterday? So you drank with Jason.. and went back to the bus early.. or what is this?” I asked but I dreaded to hear her answer, would she even say it if something more happened, but there wouldn’t.. I mean.. she wasn’t the type… was she?!

“That’s part of its none of your business, or do you want to tell me something? Because I saw you yesterday enjoying yourself pretty good at the party without me, too..” She frowned, her forehead wrinkled as if she was trying to remember something but couldn’t grab it… I tried to remember what she meant when a thought crossed my mind.

“You mean that groupie?” I asked and frowned, she noticed that, huh? But did she also notice that I wasn’t interested in that woman, or did she think I left with her?
Was it about that?!

“Maybe” Avery said but it didn’t really sound convincing “I didn’t leave with her, I wasn’t interested in her if you want to know that.” I hoped she wanted to know that…
Avery didn’t meet my eyes and I put my hand on her chin, I somehow had to make her listen to me and clear whatever now happened… or what I wanted to happen.

“Avery, what I wanted to talk to you about yesterday-” I started and looked into her blue eyes, there were confusion in them and some other emotions that I couldn’t read right now.

“Hey beautiful, come on… I think that was enough time, we need to quickly grab some breakfast and then we continue our ride to the hotel.” Jason’s voice sounded behind me and I let my hand fall from Avery’s face, already feeling the lost of her warmth.

“We are not done, go get some breakfast and come back later” I snapped but Jason stepped forward, he laid his arm around Avery’s waist and pulled her to him, while kissing her temple with a huge smile.

“Yes, you are done, Gates. Because I promised my beauty a breakfast for two, and she will get that, with me… go find yourself someone else to annoy.” Jason said, his voice still sounding nice and friendly but I didn’t mistake the undertone and that was especially meant for me.
I would talk to Jimmy soon, that fucker had something to do with it, I was sure of that…

Maybe I could get a chance to talk with Avery in the hotel… maybe in my room and finally finish my talk and convince her to maybe give us another shot and to spend some more time together.

“Can we talk later?” I asked Avery, ignoring the fact that Jason was running his hand over her arm, and smiling down on her.
“I-I.. sure.. I mean.. why not.” Avery stuttered a little and then Jason pulled her away from me and I sighed, fuck… this morning I was sure I would have this important talk with her, that I would convince her to let us try again… for something… and now… I was sure she was actually trying something with someone else…

FUCK! Was I too late? Was it worth to fight for it or should I finally forget about her?
Could I forget about her? What if I now wanted to fight even more?
And what was going on between her and Jason and what really happened last night?!

Damn, this was a freaking fucked up situation!

Maya’s POV

I sat on Matt’s lap during the rest of the bus ride and he was stroking my arm, he made me feel safe and kind of loved, I wasn’t really sure why, but that’s just how I felt.

When I woke up this morning in his arms and I was crying, at first I hadn’t realized that I was awake again, that he had been holding me… that he had been trying to soothe me…

That dream or rather nightmare, had freaked me out… I didn’t have nightmares in a long time, used to have them every now and then… but tonight all came back… and it was even worse than before!

I saw how everybody left me, not only the people that were supposed to love me like my parents, but I had been used to that, as sad as it sounds, my parents were gone, my brother was gone…
All the people who should love me because they were my family never stayed, so I found my family in other way more important people, in Avery for example… but this time also my friends left. They said I wasn’t worth the trouble… even my Ave, Jimmy… and damn Matt, he was there too… they were all going… all leaving me… broken and alone.

That had been too much for me, the tears were starting to run and they wouldn’t stop, the sobs escaping uncontrollably and then there were these strong arms, holding me, kissing the pain away, soothing and caring for me… that was too much to fight against, how could I not tell him that I would try… I had to try… but still in the back of my mind I knew that… I couldn’t give him all.

I would try to give him as much as I dared to, but not all… if I gave him all, there would be nothing left of me if he left me too. So I couldn’t risk that, as often as he would promise me that he wouldn’t leave and the he was there… I just couldn’t believe it.
I heard that way too often and was brought back to the harsh reality the same amount of times.

Still, I was honest with Matt, I wanted to try and I wanted this to work… I didn’t know how long it would last, but I would enjoy the time we had… I just had to make sure Matt knew that I might cause some trouble that he wasn’t used to… I just didn’t know how to always handle the situations and especially not with a boyfriend next to me…
Boyfriend, I nearly snorted out loud at the sound of that…

“What?” Matt’s lips were at my ear and I suppressed a shiver, he was making my stomach flutter.
“Nothing…” I grinned and he lifted an eyebrow at me.
“Come on… what is it? That face meant you were thinking about something funny.” He whispered and his arms stole around my waist, pulling me even firmer against his body, making me aware of his growing erection and my smile got only wider.

I couldn’t wait to reach the hotel and have my wicked way with him again.
“You feel what you do with me?” He growled into my ear and I chuckled “Well, if that isn’t a mic in your pants pocket I can feel it” I chuckled and he moaned when I let my hand slip between our bodies.

“We are nearly there, be prepared to grab the stuff you need so we can check in.” Matt Berry announced and I smiled “Perfect!”

I looked over at Avery and she had a weird expression her face, I couldn’t really read it and that made me worried. She looked so happy with Jason earlier but since the breakfast break we made, she looked confused.
I haven’t seen where she and Jason been during the break, had something happened?

Avery met my eyes and I mouthed ‘What’s up?’ She shook her head not wanting to tell me right now.
The bus stopped and I got up wanting to move over to Avery to hear from her what’s going on but Matt pulled me back on my hips and I flinched a little, shit… I might have a bruise there…

“What is it?” Matt looked at me concerned and I lifted the hem of my shirt and pushed my pants down a little and there it was a small bruise and it looked a lot like Matt’s hand had been there yesterday.

“Shit, that was me right?” Matt looked shocked and I chuckled “It’s nothing, don’t worry.” I quickly pecked his lips and was about to move to Avery, but he pulled me back “That’s not nothing, you have to tell me if I am too rough… fuck… I didn’t mean that to happen…” Matt really looked mortified and I laid my hand on his cheek, making him look at me “Babe, I am completely fine and it’s not bad. I loved what you did to me yesterday and I sure wanna do it again, not whip that expression of your face… boyfriend.” I whispered the last word but Matt heard it and a smile stole over his face.

“God, I love to hear that from you…” He chuckled and pressed me to his body, this time his hand softly rested on my back. “Now, let’s quickly move out and get into our room” Matt growled but I stopped him.

“Actually I want to talk to Avery first… but I will come to your room afterwards, if that’s okay?” I asked and he sighed “Fine… but don’t let me wait too long… and maybe Avery knows if her father plans to show up in the hotel… that way we know how careful we need to be.”

“I will, now prepare the bed for me, I won’t be gone too long.” I pecked his lips again and was about to move away, when he pulled me in again and kissed me more hungrily and I was thinking a moment of just skipping the talk with Avery but I couldn’t do that…

I pulled away “We see us in a bit..” I grabbed my small bag and quickly followed Avery inside the hotel, she stood near Jason, his fingers laced with hers and I smiled, they were so cute, when I saw in the corner of my eye Brian moving also their way, shit I had to be faster, I nearly stormed over to her and grabbed her in a hug “Babe, I need to talk to you… give me a second?” I looked at Jason and he nodded with a smile “I’ll check in”

I grabbed Avery and quickly moved away from the group and sat Avery down in one of the small sitting arrangements near the bar area.

“So spill it… what’s going on, little gnome? I saw that look in your eyes and something is up!” I asked and Avery averted her eyes with a deep sigh.
“What?” I asked again and when she met my eyes again I saw confusion in them, maybe even more than before.

“I’ll tell you, if you tell me what’s going on with you and Matt” She smiled but I bet she knew already that Matt and I made up…
“Okay with me.” I nodded and Avery sighed loudly.

“I.. don’t even know how to say this… Jason.. and Brian. Everything is so confusing” Avery said slowly and I sat down beside her, pulling her into my side and she let her head rest on my shoulder “Tell me about it? You looked so happy with Jason? What happened now?” I asked and Avery looked at me

“Brian happened, I can’t seem to get that guy out of my head… I don’t know why… I mean he wanted to talk to me and got all pissed off when he saw me with Jason, but why? I mean… he acted completely weird the last days I just don’t know what to think of it… and Jason.. he is nothing but nice and he is hot and makes me laugh, he is everything I would want…”

“But you don’t really know what you want?” I asked and she nodded “And I know that no one can help me with that now, but I just… I think I need to think about everything again” Avery shook her head and I nodded “Babe, take your time and enjoy it…” I hugged her closer and she shook her head “What if we have to leave the day after tomorrow… then we don’t have much time…” She asked and I sighed.

“We are working on that, believe me… and I bet the guys will gather together right now as well, talking about their final battle plan, and believe me I will help them to make us stay…” I winked at her and she lifted an eyebrow.

“What does that mean? You and Matt talked it out?” She asked grinning and I nodded “I think you can call me the official unofficial girlfriend of M. Shadows” I said laughing and Avery grinned “I knew it and how does it feel? You scared?” She asked and I nodded.

“Scared is too less of a word for what I feel… but it’s good too, he makes me feel good, so I’ll try and so should you.”
Avery nodded and we both looked towards the now empty lobby, the guys had left or were really having their band meeting right now, who knew?

I pulled Avery up “Come on, let’s find us a nice place to sleep… I will go back to the big guy and you will have a nice evening with Jason? Don’t question everything too much, sweetie. If Jason makes you feel good enjoy that time, talk to him about it if you are unsure, you are the rational one of us two, I know you will manage everything.” Avery nodded but she didn’t look too convinced…

Notes

Soooo another update!!
What should Brian do now?

And will it be enough for Matt what Maya has to give him?!

How will they handle the new merch guy when he arrives tomorrow?!