Avery's POV

I stormed back onto the bus, barely even noticing Jimmy and Jess on the couch making out. My brain was set on one thing and one thing only: getting out of here as fast as humanly possible. God I was so freaking mad, hurt, and betrayed that I couldn't even think straight. All I knew was that I couldn't stay here. Everything that had happened over the past few weeks was just way too much for me to handle right now and I couldn't stand see Brian’s face, knowing that he had betrayed me and most importantly didn't trust me. That thought alone hurt more than anything else.

How could Brian not trust me? I had been nothing but honest with him for the get-go. But him? It seemed like he had one lie after another throughout our whole relationship and yet I still trusted him and gave him the benefit of the doubt. I guess I just turned a blind eye to the lies because I loved him so damn much, but look where that got me? With the past lies and this whole Michelle situation, I had no idea what to believe anymore. And now more than ever, it was apparent that he never trusted me, even after I gave my whole heart to him. I was totally crushed by the thought. Why wasn’t that enough? Why wasn’t I enough?

I mean, how the hell were we ever supposed to make this work if he couldn't get over whatever his problem was with Jason? We didn't do anything! I didn't do anything! Absolutely nothing happened between us besides friendly interactions and I just didn't understand why Brian couldn't comprehend that. Hell, I never wanted anything to happen between Jason and I! The one time we did sleep together was a mistake and I was so fucking wasted that I thought he was Brian! And the kicker was that Brian and I weren’t even together at that point. So it wasn’t cheating or fooling around, not that I actually wanted it to happen if the first place. I would take it back if I could, just to save us this trouble for the hundredth time!

In all honesty, I never was actually interested in Jason for anything other than friendship, and being with Brian only solidified that for me. I couldn’t control the way Jason felt about me, which apparently was something completely different from what I thought. Hell, I couldn’t even control how I felt about Brian! But what I did know was that I only had eyes for him but apparently that didn't mean anything to him anymore.

My feet carried me to the back bedroom and I angrily pulled out my suitcase and started throwing all my things inside. I couldn't stop the tears from running down my face or the painful throbbing in my chest. The picture of him kissing that other woman just kept playing over and over in my mind. It was slowly tormenting me and breaking me piece by piece. God how could he fucking do that to me? After I just signed up to take college courses online to stay with him? I did all that for him and now I couldn’t change it. I know he said he didn’t kiss her, but that’s not at all what it looked like. He had his fucking hands on her hips for Christ sakes and it takes two to tango. So lets add that to the already growing list of lies! Not to mention that he freaking invited her here! Ugh!

I let out an angry groan as I took off my heels and dress and threw them in the bag too. “This fucking suck!” I hissed to myself, pulling on jeans and an old t-shirt. It didn’t even occur to me that it was one of Brian’s shirts because I had gotten so accustom to wearing them at night. They were comfortable and the smell of the shirt was only thing that kept me from losing it right now. The deep musk of the fabric was so familiar and calming but in my state of panic, anger, and hurt, I couldn’t place why or what it was.

As I zipped up my suitcase and looked around the room we shared, the ache painfully throbbed in my chest. I literally felt sick from it all. How could all this have gone so terribly wrong? Why did he call her? Why didn’t he trust me? Fuck, why did he let her kiss him? I had so many angry and unanswered questions that it wasn’t even funny. The thought of all those things together literally crushed me, making it difficult to breath through my sobs.

I loved him with all of my being and he threw it all away, just like that. And for what, good time with an old fling? My heart again squeezed painfully at the thought of being so disposable to him. And as much as I tried to tell myself I was overreacting and that he did love me, the more I realized I was wrong. The proof was right here in front of me, well lack of proof I should said because hell, he wasn’t even here to try and talk me out of leaving. If he really did care, he would be here trying to fix things. But he wasn’t. I guess the going back to college talk was to get rid of me after all. Well now Brian was finally getting what he wanted because I couldn’t stay here. It hurt too much to even think about Brian, let alone see his face.

“Where are you going?” Jess called after me as I got off the bus, dragging my suitcase toward the waiting taxi. Everything reminded me of him and I felt that if I didn’t leave I would surely shatter into a million pieces, if I hadn’t already. Brian broke my heart, just like my father said he would. I was so stupid not to listen to him.

“Little one? What’s wrong?” Jimmy’s hand landed on my shoulder and I just shook my head, his blue eyes looking down at me with concern. All I could do was burry my head in his chest as the tears came harder. Jimmy’s long arms encircling me in a protective hug and I knew he was confused and concerned, but I just couldn’t talk about this right now. I couldn’t form words to explain what happened because it all felt like a nightmare gone wrong. I didn’t want to leave but I knew it would be easier for everyone if I did.

“Come on, Ave, what happened?” Jess cooed in my ear hugging me too. “It’s okay, you can tell us. I’m sure we can help fix whatever it is, right Jimmy?”

“Yeah, I can go get Gates if you need me too,” Jimmy’s hand ran through my hair as he tried to comfort me, but his words had already set me into a new panic.

“N-No please don’t,” I sobbed. “I-I have to go…tell Maya I’ll-I’ll text her if you see her…” I quickly pulled away and dashed towards the cab. I had to get out of here. As I closed the door, I looked back at the confused faces of my friends, feeling a new-hurt rise in combination with my heartache. I wasn’t only losing Brian—I was also losing the makeshift family I had grown to love.

As I sat on the tarmac two hours later, I felt the panic rising inside me. I didn’t want to leave but I knew that I couldn’t stay when everything hurt so badly. And there wasn’t any sense in fixing what was broken since Brian had made his choice perfectly clear. If he wanted to fix this, he would have come after me but he didn’t. I guess our whole relationship was just a rouse and I was the one that got hurt in the end.

I shook my head I quickly pulled out my phone and sent Maya a text, letting her know where I was. I didn’t want her to worry about me in the morning when she surfaced from her time with Matt. I just hoped she didn’t get this right now and that she was busy with Matt. The last thing I wanted to do was ruin her night too.

Hey, M. I don’t want you to worry but I’m on my way back to HB. I couldn’t do this anymore. Love ya ~Ave

My emotions and thoughts were literally strangling me as I crumbled inside. I just wanted to shut it all off, go home, and forget any of this summer ever happened. I didn’t want to feel the full force of a broken heart raked through my body as the plane took off or that feeling of worthlessness that followed. . Never in my life had I felt so helpless and crushed at the same time. I hoped that by leaving I could just forget everything and move on, but that’s not at all what happened.

By the time the cab pulled to the curb in front of my house in Huntington Beach eight hours later, I felt even worse than before. The five-hour flight had given me a lot of time to think and as a result I broke down even more. And the worst part of all this was that I still loved him, even though his betrayal and distrust had totally crushed me. I loved him so much that it fucking hurt and deep down I knew that if he apologized I would forgive him, even though I didn’t want to. No, I couldn’t and I wouldn’t let him talk me out of this just so he could crush me again when a new opportunity came around. I wasn’t some toy for him to play with and I just hoped one day he realized exactly what he lost.

As I handed the drive some cash, I could feel my phone exploding with calls and texts in my pocket. It had been doing that ever since I had turned it back on when I landed. I just didn’t have the nerve to look at it yet because I knew that it would be the end of me. Maya would undoubtedly ask me a million questions. Zack would want to know where I am and what happened. Jason probably called me, though he was the last person I really wanted to talk to right now besides Brian. I even bet Jess and Jimmy called or messaged to. I felt awful leaving them all without saying goodbye but it was for the best. I would talk to them later and let them know that I was okay.

“Avery?” My dad surprise voice sounded from the kitchen as I walked in. I fixated my eyes on the floor because I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want him to know that he was right all along and that Brian had hurt me. “Avery, what are you doing home? I thought you were staying on the road?. ” He asked, coming towards me as I adjusted my hoodie and sunglasses so he couldn’t see my swollen and puffy eyes.

“You guys have another two weeks before you’re supposed to be home. Is everything okay?” He sounded so concern and I could tell without even looking that he was already figuring out the answers.

“Everything’s fine,” I lied softly, dragging my suitcase behind me towards stairs. I just wanted to go burry myself in my bed and never come out. Maybe if I fell a sleep and woke up again it would all have been some kind of bad dream and the hurt would be gone. “I’m just tired.”

As I walked past, my dad grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug. “I don’t believe you.” He whispered in my ear, kissing my forehead.

“I was just home sick and needed a break from the road,” I tried again but he wasn’t buying that story either. Damn it, I didn’t want to talk about it and I definitely didn’t want him to talk to Brian. Why couldn’t he just drop it?

“Did Maya come home with you?” What was this twenty questions? I could hear my bed begging me to come upstairs from here. Did he understand that I was dying of a broken heart and I didn’t want to play this game?

I sighed and pulled away and was halfway up the stairs when I answered. “No…she stayed.” God this fucking suck and lying to my dad was making it worse. I quickly raced down the hallway to my room and shut the door, trying to avoid any further conversation. Not to mention that I didn’t want my dad to see the tears that started to fall again.

“He didn’t hurt you did he?” Dad’s voice sound from outside the door. I shoved my head into the pillow to muffle my cries, praying he didn’t barge in like he usually did. Maybe if I stayed quiet he would go away and thankfully he did.

“Can’t you help me as I’m starting to burn. To many doses and I’m starting to get an attraction. My confidence is leaving me on my own. No one can save me and you know I don’t want the attention,” my phone sang next to me just as I curled into the fetal position. God could no one leave me alone today? Only the ignoring thing didn’t work with this because it just kept ringing and ringing. Fucking hell, that could only be one person—Maya.

“Hello?” I sighed, trying to mask the fact that I was crying.

“Avery?! Thank fucking god,” Maya sighed in relief. “I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for hours. Where the hell are you?”

“I’m in my bed,” I said quietly, pulling my blanket over my head. “I sent you a text.”

“You cant just shoot me a text saying that you went back home to fucking California, Ave! We’ve been worried sick! What the hell happened and what do you mean you couldn’t do this anymore? What the hell did Gates do?” Maya’s tone was angry and from all the noise in the background, I could tell that they were all on the bus together. I could hear Jimmy and Johnny laughing and my stomach knotted with guilt. I missed them.

“I-I don’t really want to talk about it…” I muttered, sucking in a shaky breath. “I-It’s just over…” I chocked out a sob after the words left my mouth and Maya sighed.

“I will fucking rip his balls off, I swear to fucking god,” Maya growled and I wouldn’t put it past her. She was very protective of me and my feelings. “What did he do?”

“What didn’t he do?” I cried, angrily whipping away tears. How was it that she always got me to talk about the topic I was trying to avoid? “Invited those girls, lied to me, doesn’t trust me, and fucking kissed that bitch Michelle in front of me…” It hurt even more to say it all out loud. Part of me was hoping it was all some nightmare but saying it to Maya made it real. My breath caught in my throat with the realization and curled into a ball, willing the ache to go away. Who knew loving someone could be this painful?

“Are you fucking kidding me? Are you sure you saw it correctly? He didn’t push her away?” Maya asked and my head started to spin. “Shit. He’s going to get it,” she finally yelled when I didn’t answer. And from there she went on one of her rants. I just set the phone next to me on the bed as the sobs raked my body. It hurt so fucking bad to know that everything was over and that I still loved him.

“Ave? Ave are you there?” Maya’s voice called a few moments later and I picked the phone back up.

“Yeah…I’m here…”I sighed, trying to stop the tears again.

“Do you want me to come home with you?” Was she serious? I wasn’t going to fuck up her relationship too.

“No, I’ll be okay, M. I promise. You stay with Matt and have a good time. Besides you’ll be home soon anyway,” I sniffed. “I’ll see you when you get home…have fun.”

“Ave…” I hated when she used that tone with me. It reminded me of my mother when she didn’t approve of one of my choices.

“I promise I’ll be fine, M. I’ll just have a few mental health days and start to get ready for school again…not that I need to because I signed up for those stupid online course…god I’m an idiot,” and boy did I feel like it. I couldn’t change it either because the date to register for on campus classes had passed.

“Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out, little gnome….you better turn around and walk the other way if you know what’s good for you, Gates,” Maya growled over the phone. No, no, no….please don’t do this now, at least wait until I’m not listening.

“Is that Ave? Please, just let me talk to her, I can explain,” the voice that haunted my memory said in the background. My breath hitched in my chest at the sound and I suddenly felt like was drowning. It was weird how he could make me feel all warm and fuzzy and completely crushed at the same time. The sensation was one of the most painful things I had ever experience in my life.

“It sounds like you’ve don’t enough already,” Maya hissed. “Now get out or you’ll be sorry!” And I knew just by her tone that she meant business. My heart began to race as I heard his voice again, the panic rising and making it hard to breath. No, Avery, you can’t fall for him again because it will only hurt worse the second time around. Just give up and move on, or at least that’s what I kept telling myself.

“Listen I’ve got to go…I’ll talk to you later,” I said, quickly hanging up just as Brian and Maya started yelling back and forth. I didn’t need to hear that on top of anything else.

Over the next two weeks, time moved as though the world had stopped spinning. I spent most of the never-ending days locked in my room, avoiding the world and my dad. I didn’t want to talk to him about this and I sure as hell didn’t want him to talk to Brian. It was between him and me and my dad didn’t need to stick his nose in it. Not that it really mattered because Brian had only called me once in the past two weeks. He left a voicemail but I couldn’t bring myself to listen to it because I was afraid it would break whatever part of me was left. It was evident through is actions that he had made his choice and I wasn’t part of it.

So why did I stay locked in my room? If I was being honest with myself, it was because deep down I knew I felt lost without Brian and my friends. And to add to my own personal form of torture, I couldn’t bring myself to do anything or see anyone because everything reminded me of Brian and the gang. I just stayed in bed, eating ice cream and watching sad movies. It was all that I felt comfortable doing.

And as much as I hated to admit it I missed him. I missed his smell, his touch, the sound of his voice, and the taste of his lips. And the worst part was that I kept having these amazing dreams with the two of us, only to wake up and realize that none of it was true. God I missed him and longed for his touch— his anything. But I knew that’s not what he wanted, so even if I could forgive him it wouldn’t make much difference.

Ever since I got home my mind had been replaying everything over and over in my head. I had gone over every possible scenario and reason for Brian’s actions that I could think of and that only left me more confused. Could I have been wrong about the whole Michelle situation? Could he have actually been telling the truth about the kiss? Was she the one playing the games? I didn’t know the answers to those questions but part of me was afraid to know the truth. Though the one thing that I couldn’t let go was that fact that Brian didn’t trust me. I could get past everything else except that because I couldn’t be with someone that was constantly second-guessing everything I did. It would make us both miserable.

“Avery!” my dad’s voice called as he pounded on my bedroom door for the hundredth time today. Didn’t he get the hint that I wanted to be left alone? I just wanted to sit here in my underwear, watch The Notebook, ball my eyes out, and devour this entire carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Couldn’t I nurse my broken heart in peace?

“What?” I groaned, getting up to answer the door with the tub of ice cream in hand, not even caring that I was wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of boy short undies. It wasn’t like my dad hadn’t seen me in them before and I was over caring about anything. It only got me in trouble.

When I opened my door, my spoon clattered to the floor when I saw two of my favorite people in the hallway with my dad. All I could do was gap at them as a smile started to spread over my face. They weren’t supposed to be back until tomorrow!

“Surprise!” Maya and Zack said in unison as I launched forward and pulled them both into a hug. God I missed them!

“What are you doing here?” I gushed, seeing my dad smile and shake his head as he left. I knew he was glad to see a smile on my face for the first time in weeks. “You were supposed to get back tomorrow morning.”

“Well, we skipped the after party last night and booked it home as fast as we could,” Zack explained, looking me up and down. I knew I looked like a disaster with my hair in a disarray bun, Brian’s old stained t-shirt, and panties. I blushed and bit my lip, feeling self-conscious. I guess I did care after all.

Maya squeezed me tight and rocked me back and forth. “I’m so freaking glad to see you, little gnome. It’s not the same on the road without you,” she said, kissing my temple. “But when was the last time you showered? Damn, Ave,” Maya gaged and I blushed even harder. I wasn’t lying when I said the only thing I had been doing was lying around my room.

“Anyway,” Zack chuckled, looking into my bedroom with a smirk. I saw his eyes scanning my artwork and he nodded in approval. “We came by to pick you up for the photo shoot this afternoon.”

I blinked at Zack for a minute, trying to make sure I heard him correctly. Photo shoot? What photo shoot? “Excuse me?” I asked, earning an eye roll from Maya.

“You know, the one for Vengeance University that we promised to do?” Maya said once she pulled me and Zack into my room and shut the door. The last thing we needed was my dad to catch wind of that.

I bit my lip and shook my head. “I-I don’t know…I-I’m not sure I can—“

“Of course you can!” Zack interrupted. He took my hand and sat me down on his lap, smiling at me. “It will only be for an hour or two and you get to keep anything you try on at the warehouse. Plus you already agreed to it and the one thing I know about Avery Jacobson is that she doesn’t go back on her promises.”

Yeah, well that was before the one person that mattered the most went back on theirs. I didn’t want to go anywhere, especially when I knew that he could be anywhere. I couldn’t run into him in public because I had no idea how I would respond. I couldn’t take that chance.

“Come on, Ave,” Maya said, reading the expression on my face and giving me a pointed look. She wasn’t going to let me get out of it. “Your dad told me you’ve been held up in here since you got home and it’s time you put on some pants and got out to see the world. Not to mention that you’re looking a little pale. Some sun would do you good.” Damn it why was she always right?

“Please Ave….do it for me?” Zack practically begged, getting down on his knees in front of me and shaking his hands at me. He looked at me with those big green eyes and a pouting lip and I knew I couldn’t say no to him. Damn him too! “I can’t do this without you. Plus I’ll throw in free booze if you want.”

“Fine!” I sighed, falling back onto my bed. “But I’m not happy about it!” Though they didn’t hear that part because right after I agreed they both tackled me on the bed.

“Yay!” Maya kissed my cheek over and over again. “God I fucking missed this face! And after the shoot, you and I are going out! Wherever you’d like! Johnny’s you name it! We are going to get dressed up and get rid of that frown.”

“Maya can’t we just have a movie night?” I was begging now. What happened if we say Brian out tonight? I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing him with another girl.

“Nope, we are going to party and have a good time, and if you’re not going to pick, I will,” she continued and to my horror, Zack nodded in agreement. “And of course Zack can come along too…and Matt.” I didn’t miss the smile or dreamy expression on her face, which made me a little jealous. I missed that feeling too.

“But what if—“

“No ‘what ifs’ little gnome,” Maya continued, pulling me up and pushing me toward the shower. “Now get in the shower because we’ve got to go. The male models will be there soon!”

An hour later, I stood in the makeshift dressing room in Zacky’s house, looking at my reflection in the mirror. The makeup artist had fixed me up and styled my hair to perfection and I almost didn’t recognize the girl in the mirror. She looked like she had the world at her fingertips and you never would have knowing that felt awful on the inside. My eyes wandered away from my face to the short cut off shorts, high top VU converse, and belly exposing crop-top with one of my designs on it. I just wished I felt as good as I looked.

“Ave, are you ready? Maya is just about done with her first round of shots,” Zack’s voice called as he poked his head in the door. When his eyes wandered over my body, his jaw dropped. “Wow, you look amazing…” he shook his head and forced his eyes away from me. “I want to introduce you to your male model for the day.” There was something about his smirk that caught me off guard. What was so funny about it? Was there something wrong with the guy?

“Are you sure you want me to do this?” I asked again, his arm draping around my shoulders as he led me toward the pool area.

“Did you see how fucking hot you look, Ave? Of course I want you to be one of the faces of my clothing line. Besides, you designed at least four of these shirts. I couldn’t let you get away with out any of the glory.” Well that was very kind of him but I still think I’d rather be hiding in my bed. “Alright so you partner is a little shy and isn’t the best with words, especially when he is frustrated and angry so just be patient with him,” Zack instructed.

What was he talking about? Was that a normal occurrence with modeling? Why would the guy be frustrated or angry? I had never heard of such a thing. “Okay…” I suddenly felt a little nervous about the whole thing but I knew Zack wouldn’t let me back out now.

“Just promise me you’ll hear him out and give him a chance. Can you do that, Ave?” Zack stopped me before the tall fence, looking me straight in the eye with a very serious look.

Now I was really confused. What was he talking about? “Ave, can you do that? No matter what?”

“Yeah, sure,” I sighed and Zacky opened the gate and lead me over to the pool area.

There standing on the other side of beautiful stonewall pool was a man that made my heart stop in my chest. I instantly froze in my spot, only able to stare and gap at him. The man was wearing a pair of denim shorts and a black t-shirt with one of my designs on it. He looked breathtakingly handsome as he threw his head back laughing at something Matt said to him. That action alone made it impossible for me to breath.

“Ave? Are you coming?” Zack’s voice interrupted my thoughts, or rather lack of thoughts.

“What is he doing here?” I hissed, feeling the panic rise as his eyes met mine. Fortunately he looked just a shocked to see me as I did him. I guess I wasn’t the only one being blind sighted here.

“Gates is your modeling partner today,” Zack explained as if it were no big deal at all. I could literally kill him right now but I honestly didn’t know if I could move from my current spot. All I could do was shake my head as my heart painfully raced in my chest.

“What?” I hissed, my eyes narrowing on Zack. Everything was starting to make sense now—this was obviously a set up and I didn’t want any part of it.

“My male model dropped out at the last minute and I talked Gates and Shads into filling in. You promised that you would give it a try, so get your ass over there and take some pictures,” Zack insisted, taking my arm and dragging me toward the photographer.

“I-I can’t do this…” I breathed, shaking my head and trying to pull away but by then it was too late. “Please Zack…” I begged but he just moved away and directed Brian to my side.

“Ave, I didn’t know you were going to be here,” Brian said and I swallowed thickly. How was it that I longed for his touch and feared it at the same time? Would I crumble all over again?

“Me either…” I muttered under my breath, crossing my arms in front my chest. Well, that was before the photographer told me drop my hand and get ready for the first couple of shots.

“Listen I just wanted you to know that—“ Please, I didn’t want to talk about this or hear his excuses.

“Alright, stand next to each other,” the photographer ordered. “Put your arm around her waist…” I took a sharp breath when Brian’s skin touched mine, sending a shock wave of goose bumps over my flesh. I had forgotten exactly how he affected me but I had to be strong. I couldn’t give in.

“Did you listen to my voicemail?” he whispered, trying to read my extremely confused expression.

“I-I…no I—“

“And turn a little but toward her,” they photographer interrupted. The moment those dark brown eyes met mine I got lost in them, my heart racing wildly in my chest. I couldn’t read the expression hiding in them but I could see the smile spreading over his face.

“And act like you’re in love…”

Notes

So Zack tricked both of them into working together? Will this end well for the couple? Comments please! ;)