Denial

Matt and Izzie’s cabin was exactly the change of scenery Nessa needed. The surroundings were beautiful and quiet. The calm speaking right to her to ease her heart. But that was during the day, during the drive over here, during the first few hours she had been here, but now at night...

At night the calm was only making her think more about everything that had happened the past few days, or maybe even the past few weeks. How could she have allowed herself to get into all of this mess, this fast? She knew right from the start that it would go wrong, she knew she had been right to reject Johnny that first time, but she was stupid and let him in. Now look at where she was now.

She decided to grab herself a glass of wine and try to relax a little before she would go to bed and lie awake the whole night. Just as she was about the set herself down on the couch, a loud knock on the door startled her. Her first instinct was to fly, but then another knock sounded, accompanied by the voice of the man that had crowded her mind ever since she met him a few weeks ago.

“Nessa, I know you are in there. If you don’t want to see me, it’s fine. I just want to know you are okay. Please?” Nessa stood, staring at the door, her mind telling her she wouldn’t let him in. Her heart calling the mind a liar.

How did he know she was here? Must have been the picture, but how?! She started pacing up and down in front of the door. Biting her lip to not just answer the man. It was wrong what he did, her mind said, but I want what I want, was the heart’s reply. She moved closer to the door, her hand on the knob.

“I’m fine! Just go away!”

On the other side of the door Johnny’s heart skipped a beat when he heard her voice. Even though he knew she was there, he was happy she answered. He moved to the door and held his hand out to it “Will you please let me in? I think we need to talk”.
“No!” He could already hear the little nuances in her voice, and those little nuances told him that she wasn’t convinced… Not at all.

Johnny put his forehead against the door. What could he say to make her talk to him? What could he do? As if there was some divine intervention Johnny received a text

We believe you, the truth will always win. Go get the girl! X Mia.

He sighed deeply. It was very nice his friends believed him, but he only needed one person to believe him, and that one wasn’t caving. Johnny wasn’t the only one getting a text though.

Nessa, hun, please, please, please listen to Johnny when he gets there. Just hear him out, I wouldn’t ask if I was certain. Please. Just this last time, and then I promise to stay out of your life. I love you. Iz.

Johnny decided to try one more time. One more time before he would just sit down on the doorstep and wait for her to come out the next day.

“Nessa, this is all a misunderstanding, would you please let me in and let me talk to you? If you still want me to stay away from you afterwards I promise I will” his begs sounded foreign to his own ears, but he really needed her to understand how important this was to him. He leaned against the door, trying to hear whatever Nessa was doing inside of the cabin. He didn’t hear a thing.

When she opened the door anyway, against everything Johnny had expected, he almost fell inside. As soon as he got back on his feet again he looked at Nessa. A wave of feelings coming over him. God, he missed her.

“Will you listen to me? Please?”
Nessa shrugged and stepped aside to let Johnny in. Johnny walked over to the livingroom, but looked at Nessa hesitantly before he sat down. Nessa took a seat on the couch, so Johnny decided to take the recliner opposite from her, giving her all the space she needed. As long as she would listen.

For a moment silence covered them, until Johnny spoke up “I made such a big mess of all of this, Nessa” he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.
“You weren’t the only one” Nessa whispered back. Johnny studied her face and only just now realized she looked sad, even though still looked beautiful.
“Have you been crying?”
“Women are emotional beings” Nessa curtly replied with a slight challenging tilt of her head.

“I can’t stand the thought of you crying over me”
Nessa sat up, looking carefully at the man in front of her “You put that on yourself”
“I know, I shouldn’t have lied to you”
“Twice! You shouldn’t have lied to me twice!”
“What?” Johnny shot a surprised look.
“I was willing to step over the fact that you lied to me to be with me, but I can’t go past the fact that there was another woman in your arms, mere hours after we parted and you told me you were so so sorry. I can’t forgive you for that Johnny” she rushed everything out and took a deep breath to push back the tears that were surfacing again. “Maybe it’s better you go. Or wait, I will go. I will sleep at the hotel for a night, you stay here” Nessa rambled.

“No. No! You got it all backwards” He stood and sat next to her on the couch, scared he wouldn’t be fast enough to stop her if he wasn’t closer to her. “I take all responsibility for the lie this morning, but whatever you saw this afternoon, it wasn’t what you thought”
Nessa huffed “That’s what they all say, please hold your excuses and let’s just end this… as if it even really started” the last part was barely audible, but Johnny heard.
He took Nessa’s hands in his own “You know it started, you have to give us that”

Again with the silence when Nessa didn’t respond.

Johnny knew it was now or never and started to tell the story about Bella and her interior designer qualities. How she was the wife of his painter friend, how they were married, how she was pregnant, but especially how she would be able to do the job he didn’t want to do without Nessa anymore.

Nessa’s eyes grew wider with every little bit of the story that Johnny revealed. She really wanted to believe him and the story sounded probable.

“It was her this afternoon?” she asked with a small voice
“Yes”
“And Izzie knows about this?”
“Yes. She wanted to murder me for hurting you, but I told her the truth, just like I told you”
Nessa stared at their joined hands. It was too good to be true, but the voice of her abuela was in her head. Telling her she needed to try.

“Nessa, maybe this will scare you off even more, but I have to tell you. When we met I wasn’t looking for another woman, I didn’t even want to meet another woman. I was hurt and the female side of humankind was all bad to me. But there you were, you immediately did something with me, something I couldn’t deny. I needed to know if you were worth getting my heart broken over. I found out you were. You are worth everything. I think I’d miss you if we hadn’t met. I fell in love with you, so fast, so deeply.”

Nessa looked up at him with surprised eyes, hope lingering. Johnny decided to try his luck.

“I missed you so much, did you miss me too?”
“More than you would ever know” Nessa replied softly and she looked up to the kind eyes of the man she fell in love with too. The voice of her conscience sounded a lot like her abuela and Nessa decided to be fully honest with Johnny.

“I’m so scared, Johnny, so scared to fall in love again. But I did. I feel exactly the same like you and I was on my way to tell you this afternoon. My abuela told me to take a leap of faith with you and then I found you with that woman. I really want to believe you, I really want to be able to give myself to you, but I’m not so good with trusting people, men in particular. I really want to though.”

“Please give me a chance, give us a chance. We’ll get there together, we’ll take it slow. ” Johnny begged. The couple found each other’s eyes, immediately getting lost. Johnny wiped the tears from Nessa’s face with his thumbs. Then he leaned forward, softly letting their lips touch.

Tears filled Nessa’s eyes again, she cried when their lips touched, she cried even more when Johnny pulled her closer. He was here, he was kissing her, healing her of all the pain that was caused by the men before.

Johnny gently pushed her back on the couch, following her, covering her with his body. When he finally stopped kissing her, both their breaths were shallow and erratic.
“Don’t cry please”
“I’m just so happy you are here”
“I’m here and not going anywhere, at least, not without you” a beautiful smile came over his face.
“Ugh, you are just too cute!” Nessa let out before she pulled him down again, and kissed him hard.

Johnny’s hands left her face and started wondering over her body. Nessa could only bathe in the attention that he gave her. She wanted him, she was so in love with him.
“Take me to bed” she breathed when their mouths parted.
The fire in his eyes and the bulge in his pants were undeniable “Are you sure?”
“Yes, let’s have some make up sex” she grinned
“No, make up lovemaking” he replied
“Cheesy!” she giggled as she took his hand to take him to the master bedroom.

As soon as they reached the bed, Nessa started to open the buttons on Johnny’s shirt. The second it fell open and showed his strong, powerful chest, she sighed “You are so beautiful”.
“Please don’t tell my friends, they have enough to pester me over” he chuckled “I’m handsome, and though, not beautiful”
Nessa removed the shirt fully, and let him take her shirt and pants while she replied “You are all that too, but you are also beautiful. I can’t believe you are here with me.”
She went straight for the jeans Johnny was still wearing and after some fumbling with button and zipper she was able to release his erection.

“Better not call that beautiful” Johnny grunted, watching all her movements closely. Nessa grabbed on to his cock, gripping it carefully, immediately starting to pump. She was slowly losing her mind when Johnny growled.
“Don’t be afraid of me saying it’s beautiful, this one is very though and hot”
“You are a tease!” he replied hoarsely.

Within seconds they were both fully naked and Johnny crawled on top of Nessa again. Their bodies fully touching in their horizontal dance. Nessa couldn’t get enough of the feeling of Johnny on top of her. His weight felt amazing. His hard body so good against her soft curves. His hands and lips all over her skin.
Johnny softly nibbled her chin and neck. Continuing his way with kisses, bites and licks until he reached her breasts.
“This is beautiful” he breathed as he lifted her a little, bringing the nipple to his mouth, sucking, slightly pulling, but hard enough for her to feel the jolts of electricity going straight to her core. He moved to the other breast, giving it the same attention “And this one is beautiful too”.

After both nipples got equal and extended attention, he moved back to her mouth again. Pushing his to hers hard, his tongue demanding entrance, moving around with hers wildly. Within minutes Nessa was writhing underneath him. She wanted him inside of her, she needed him inside of her.

They rolled around on the bed, fighting for dominance. Both their breaths not more than heavy panting. Nessa put her leg around Johnny, teasing him at her entrance. Johnny moved forward slightly, only putting a part of the head in.

“Please, please, please, slow later, now quick. I need you so bad.”
Johnny turned them to their sides and put her leg over his hip. Without any further warning he pushed into her core and thrusted hard, pushing all the oxygen out of her lungs.
“YES!” she hissed.
“You better get used to this, Nessa, you better get used to me making love to you, whenever, wherever, however. I’m never leaving you ever again” he breathed in her hair as he began the steady pace of making love to her. He pushed himself to her more and more until there was no more space between them.

The hold Nessa’s hand got on his hips only made him go faster, deeper. Pounding into her was the best thing ever, every thrust going past her most sensitive point. The rhythm of his hips perfectly in sync with everything Nessa wanted to have. They both felt there was no going back anymore, he belonged to her and she belonged to him. This lovemaking was irreversible. This lovemaking was a volcano that was getting ready to erupt.

All their feelings came together as Johnny felt the orgasm starting in his balls. He grabbed onto Nessa’s breasts as he pushed himself to her harder and deeper as he spurted deep inside of her. The first feeling of Johnny’s hot load inside of her was enough to set Nessa off. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as her body shocked in orgasm. They rode out their orgasm together, holding each other close, enjoying the closeness.

Nessa stuck her body to Johnny’s putting her head on his chest. Johnny’s hand found it’s way to her hair and he gently caressed.
“You are mine now, right?” he let out with more bluff than he was feeling.
“Yes, no use in denying now” Nessa giggled as she let her finger wonder over his chest. She heard his heart pick up a beat of two.
“Izzie will be so damn obnoxious” Johnny sighed knowing damn well that Izzie had been right again.
“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter. I’m thankful anyway” Nessa put a kiss to Johnny’s chest.

Lost in their own thoughts they enjoyed each other’s company.
“I want to ask you something since we first met at the concert, it has been bugging me”
“Okay….” Nessa replied hesitantly.

Johnny moved them, so he could look at her face “That night of the concert, after you rushed out, Izzie told me you pretend to be an apple. I might be stupid, but I didn’t get it”
Nessa laughed freely, receiving a weird look from Johnny. Did she think he was stupid?
“Don’t look like that, it has nothing to do with you. When I first met Izzie there were some issues in my life and she told me I was just in denial. The denial thing became a running gag between us, and one time she send me a picture of a banana, that had written “I’m an apple” all over it. Izzie told me I was being a banana, pretending to be an apple. So now every time she thinks I’m being in denial she asks me if I’m being an apple. She asked me about you too”
“Are you? An apple?”
Nessa smiled widely before she pounced on him.

“Oh no. I’m definitely in love with you. I’m fully bananas now!”

Notes

That was it, the last chapter of this story! It took me a few years to finish, but I'm really thankful for everyone that stuck with me.

It seemed fitting though to finish it today, seeing it is the lovely real Nessa's birthday today! Happy birthday hun! I know this story took ages, but you finally got your story, I hope you liked it! <3