Brian’s POV

After being at Johnny’s and meeting up with my best friends including Selena who still looked a little confused just as I felt, we headed over to some club.
The distraction was good for me, I wasn’t thinking about the fact that Sam had left me just like that.

My friends were asking me all different questions about some things in the past and I knew them all, could answer them I could even add different things and I saw the smiles on their faces making mine grow more and more. They seemed not really able to believe that I was back, that everything was back in place, the band back together, the friends one unit again…

When everyone was out on the dancefloor I took my beer and watched over the scene, it really felt like the old times… good old times.
And since I did remember the old times again, I did remember the old Brian.

My eyes scanned over the crowd, girls were looking at me waving discreetly to get my attention, some winking, some just throwing glances at me and I gave them a smile or a wave back, but that was it, I didn’t want anyone of them to come over.

I may be back to my old self, at least my memories were, but my heart was still broken and I wouldn’t let anyone in… not now and maybe not ever… who knew?
Maybe only time could tell!

“Brian?” Selena’s voice roused me from my thoughts and I turned around and saw her standing alone.
“Yeah?” I asked but I couldn’t meet her eyes, she reminded me of Sam and I didn’t like that, even though I wouldn’t tell her that to the face.
“Can I ask you something?” Selena asked while she put her phone away. Had she been talking to someone?
Sam?!

I shook my head, why did all my thoughts return to her, I should forget about her, she broke my heart. She threw away all what we had and I shouldn’t think about that, I wasn’t the type to beg for anything… even though that thought of going after her had crossed my mind a couple of times since yesterday.

“What do you want to know?” I finally replied to Selena’s question while I still let my eyes wander over the dancing crowd.
“What did Sam say to you?” She asked and my heart squeezed painfully in my chest, without saying anything I turned around, went to the table took a shot of tequila and another one to try and numb the disturbing feeling.
“I talked to her… and I-” Selena stood next to me again, her eyes were taking in my every move and I didn’t like that, it felt like she was trying to analyze me.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, okay? She didn’t say much, but what she said was enough. That topic is done, alright?” I finally snapped and regretted it right away, Selena was not to blame for anything and I shouldn’t treat her like that.
“Selena, I’m sorry, I just-” I sighed and didn’t really know what to say.
“I just wanted to tell you that I can’t believe she did that… I have the feeling something is wrong, but if you feel like that… maybe… you know what… forget it” She shook her head and without waiting for my reply she walked away.

I stood there while Selena walked into Matt’s open arms, he closed her in his embrace and I had to look away, shit, this felt too private and made my heart ache even more… would that subside sometime or would this pain be always there?!

“Syn? Syn Gates?” I heard a voice behind me and I put a small smile on my face before turning around.
“Hey” I replied and the woman before me looked stunning, she replied my smile and send me a wink.
“You want something to drink?” She asked me “I was just heading over to the bar” She added and I drowned the rest of my beer.
“I could use another one.” I added as soon as my bottle was empty and she chuckled when I joined her on the way to the bar, maybe something like this could help the aching feeling and would add to the distraction even more.

Sam’s POV

I went to bed early, and as soon as I lay in my big bed I regretted it right away, the bed where I had last slept together with Brian.
The pillow on his side still smelled like him and soon I had crawled completely on his side and chose to sleep there, while it still felt like he was here with me.

I woke to the ringing of my phone and groaned loudly, who would call me in the middle of the night?!
When I opened my eyes I saw it wasn’t in the middle of the night, the sun was already shining brightly through the windows and when I checked the clock beside my bed I could see it was already after 9.

“Fuck fuck fuck” I muttered under my breath when I scrambled out of the bed.
I grabbed my phone and picked up “Hello?” I asked a little out of breath and heard Ethan’s deep chuckle.
“You won’t show up today?” He asked and I closed my eyes.
“I forgot to set my alarm. I will be there in about 30, okay?” I asked and heard another chuckle frome Ethan “Alright, don’t worry. Coffee will be ready, your computer is already started, see you.”
Ethan hung up on me and I sighed, letting my head plop down on the bed.
“God damn, could anything go more wrong so early in the morning?” I talked to myself… great now I even talked to myself, I was getting weirder and weirder.

So shower wouldn’t do this morning, I didn’t have much time, so I quickly brushed my teeth and washed me as quick as I could, then redressed and grabbed my files and car keys and drove to work.
As promised Ethan had my pc started and a coffee was waiting for me.

Before I did anything else I grabbed the coffee and took a long drink from it, I really needed that.
Ethan stared at me from his place and I looked at him apologizing “Sorry… Hi” I finally greeted him and he laughed “Don’t worry, all good. But you don’t look too good, and I mean that in the most positive way if that’s even possible.” He said and I rolled my eyes.
“Thanks, I’m not feeling too good either” I admitted and Ethan got up from his chair and walked over to me.
“What happened? Are you okay?” He asked concerned and I didn’t really want to explain any of it to him so I settled with a nother lie to buy me some time.

Ethan didn’t look too convinced but was clever enough not to ask any further. We were working in a comfortable silence, sometimes doing some small talk until our lunch break arrived.
Work really distracted me and that was good, I still had to call Selena today, she wanted more explanation but I wasn’t too sure what to tell her.

I opened news sites on the internet, scanning the headlines and saw a picture that caught my eyes and I regretted it right away.
Brian in a club with a beautiful woman as his company!
I pushed my hand to my heart, as if I could stop the hurt like that, but it didn’t help and I wished I never saw this.

I should have known, I broke his heart and he had no reason to not have his fun, but I thought… just one day after… he wouldn’t… but… maybe that’s who he is… who he was… and that’s why everything was better the way it was right now.

Still curiosity won and I clicked on the image. I saw more pictures of Brian and the woman, they were laughing together, drinking… as the articles they even left together and I saw a tear that I haven’t even noticed running down my cheek drop down on my keyboard.

“Sam, you ready to leave for lunch?” Ethan asked from the doorway and I quickly shut down the side and wiped my tears away.
“Yes, sure. I am ready, lets go.” I said and grabbed my bag, not meeting Ethan’s eyes on the way out.

Notes

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