Banned in a book

Selena’s POV

I was sitting in my car it was already late at night… I should have been home, but I don’t think I even had a home anymore.
Thoughts were running through my head and I just needed some time for myself.
My phone was constantly ringing.. ringing and ringing, and never stopping.
I had shut it off at some point, because I couldn’t stand it anymore.

I wasn’t just sitting somewhere, I was sitting in front of my parents house. I was sitting in my car, looking at the house but not getting outside of my car.
I was here since this afternoon, since I had dropped off Brian and Sam.
I planned on walking inside and telling my parents that there wouldn’t be a wedding… that we had to call it off.

I was sure of that even before I talked to Trevor and if I would have been honest with myself I should have done this earlier.
I was hoping for the perfect relationship chasing behind a dream… I had shut my eyes from reality.
I let Trevor fool me, I didn’t know to which extend but I knew he did…
And I shouldn’t have tried to ignore it just because I wanted a normal life… because my parents wanted to know I was in a secure relationship, in safe hands…
Safe hands… I snorted… Trevor never really touched me.
I couldn’t even remember when the last time was we went both to bed at the same time, when we have slept together… made love…
Did we ever really make love?

He did hug me, or kiss my temple, he touched my arm but that was it.. at least since a long time…
How could I not notice… how could I not want to notice?!
I was stupid… and maybe… I just didn’t want to be alone… I hated to be alone…
But with or without Trevor I had been alone, and I just realized it now.

I finally grabbed my phone and looked at all the missed calls and messages.
Who should I listen first to?

Sam, of course my Sam…

“Oh god, Selena… hun.. I’m so sorry, your voicemail is full of my messages now. Please call me back. I have to talk to you… It’s about Trevor… Brian was right.. I’m sorry… I should have known.. I am an awful friend… please come home to us, please…”
I smiled, she just wanted the best for me, I would never be mad at her… and that Brian was right, sure he was…

Trevor, next I would only hear the last message, not more… that would be enough anyway.

“HOW COULD YOU SENT THIS LUNATIC TO WORK AND LET HIM PUNCH ME IN THE FACE! YOU WILL BEAR THE CONSECQUENCES! I will freaking sue him, I will sue you!”
Trevor’s voice ended and I had to stifle a chuckle, someone punched him?!
Sounded a whole lot like Brian and Sam had been at his work and paid him a little visit.
I didn’t know why he would punch Trevor, but he must have had a good reason… and if not, I think he deserved it anyway…
After hearing Sam being so upset it must have been bad what he did behind my back and if I would really be honest I knew it already.

I clicked on the message before that, hearing Trevor’s voice again.

“You have to believe me, there was a misunderstanding, don’t believe a thing that guy is telling you babe. I only love you, only you. There is nobody else.. Please, Selly. You gotta believe me. I love you. Let’s talk, let’s meet right now and talk… please”

I shook my head, that said about everything and I thought hearing his voice and knowing he did betray me would make me cry, would make me a crying mess but right now… I just felt nothing.
Empty… but not sad.
I wish I could feel something, miss that I would never see him again, but honestly… I didn’t care.
When did I stop loving him?
I didn’t know…

I would call him tomorrow, confirm him he was an asshole and be done with him, with us…
The rest I would talk with Sam and Brian through I didn’t want to talk to Trevor about any details didn’t want to hear it all. I knew Brian and Sam could spare me all the dirty details and tell me what I really needed to know.
I sighed heavily and clicked on another message and a small smile came over my face.

“Selena, hey… It’s Matt… again.. I know you said you wanted to think about it… but I just… I couldnt give up that easily… It wouldnt be me to just give up. Anyway… I just… just think about it. Just a meeting, maybe I scared you with the last call. How about I invite you to dinner? We could go to a nice restaurant? How about the day after tomorrow?” There was pause and I heard a hiss and murmuring.
“Sorry… I… I have to pull that trick… but… you gave me your business card so there is your address on it, so if you won’t call me back I will just show up at your home, and you don’t want that, do you?!” I hear him chuckle lightly and I had to smile as well, he really didn’t give up that easily.

He sounded like he really had something important to talk about, I don’t know what and why but I wanted to meet him again, so I gave his number a call.

“Sanders?” A deep voice sounded and I smiled.
“Matt?” I ask and I heard only breathing, oh shit… it was in the middle of the night, I haven’t thought about that.
“Selena? It’s like..”
“I know.. fuck.. I’m sorry, let me just hang up and-” God I was stupid.
“No.. no no, don’t hang up… ” He quickly rushed out and I smiled.
“The day after tomorrow. I will send you a message with the address of the restaurant, that okay?”
“Perfect” He sighs and I smile.
“Okay, then…”
“Okay.”
“Are you alright?” He asks suddenly and I swallow thickly.
“Yes.. now I am.” With that I hang up.

Brian’s POV

I had a hard time falling asleep… I watched Sam the entire time, even though her back was turned to me.
I felt lonely… I didn’t like that she was trying to shut me out, but I couldn’t change it, at least not tonight.

Tomorrow was a different day, tomorrow I would make her realize I was here for her, she wasn’t alone, she didn’t have to suffer, not alone… I could ease her pain.
It wasn’t her fault…

Finally my eyes were getting heavy and I pulled the blanket over Sam and me, I buried my head in the pillow and my eyes were falling shut.

“Brian… she is slipping away… you better pay more attention to her…” A voice said and I looked around, but it was dark, so dark I couldn’t see my own hand before my eyes.
“Who is speaking? What do you mean? Who is slipping away?” I asked no one particular since I couldn’t see anyone.

I heard a female chuckle then a snap and the light was so bright that it was blinding me.
I held my hands over my eyes to damper the sudden brightness.
“Is it better now?” The voice asked and I tried to blink my eyes open against the light.
I saw a small figure in front of me, but she had no face.
“I still can’t see you.” I tell her and she laughs even louder and annoys me even more.
“Not funny?” She chuckles and I shake my head.
“Who are you?” I ask and she shakes her head again but continues to speak,
“Even if I would show myself to you, you wouldn’t recognize me. You wouldn’t know my name and you wouldn’t know my face… I was one of many and you didn’t care.” She said and I frown.
“What do you mean?” I ask and try to look at her more closely but still I couldn’t make out her features, nothing but blackness.

“I wanted to warn you. She is shutting you out… your only chance.. and you are ruining it.” She says and my heart beats faster.
“What chance? Sam? Are you talking about Sam?” I ask and she nods.
“What chance? And how am I ruining it?! And what do I have to do? What is this all about? Please give me some answers.” I would beg, I would crawl on my knees , I would do just about everything.
“Love is the key, Brian… It always was.. it always is. You are and you always were a lucky bastard. You were loved in so many different ways and didn’t even realize it, you were taking it for granted. I didn’t know that this would happen, but now that it is, I wished I had taken better care… now it’s too late, but you are ruining it maybe all by yourself… and I don’t have to worry anymore…” She begins to chuckle again and I ball my hands to fists. I couldn’t believe this, what is she talking about and who was she?!

Love is the key, the key to what?! And whose love?!
“The days are ticking by Brian… just a little more then two weeks… and the time is over… keep that in mind, your time is running out…” With that the voice was gone.

I take in a heavy breath and sit aprubty up in my bed, I was sweating and my heart was racing…
What the hell was that?!

Notes

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