I Wish I Could be the One

JOHNNY'S POV***
I scrambled down the hall way books in my hand phone in the other. I actually was trying to be a good student. I wasn't stupid just had a lack of motivation I guess you could say and a pretty big amount of distraction with the Kat thing and all.
It was aggravating because I've had other girlfriends but Kat was always in the back of my mind. She was honestly the greatest person I've ever met I mean aside from my brothers. But I loved everything about her even when she was being stubborn or teasing one of us. There was just something about her. The way she smiles and looks at the ground almost every time I compliment her or the way a tickle of red flushes into her cheeks when I call her babe. She's fucking adorable and perfect in every way. I just can't believe Brian would hook up with her like that. They are all my older brothers and It feels like they kicked me out of their club. And for that matter how did Kat fucking even allow that. I thought what we had together was real. I may be younger than her. But that didn't stop her from hooking up with me that one time. I smirk to myself.... Yea that was a good night until my fucktard Bros interrupted.... I thought I was going to take her virginity. But I guess there's still time. Unless she lost to Austin when they are still dating fuck I'm so nosy and jealous. But the thought of another guys hands on her gets me so pissed. Even if it's my bros. God damn it. Ugh
Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder and I instantly turn around
"Dude we need to talk"
"Talk about what Bri? I'm trying to go to class"
"Okay listen short shit I know we fought over Kat but you're my best friend okay and I love you so just Pleaseeee fucking forget about it so I can't tell this shit" Brian said rushed and almost out of breath
"Dude I can't just get over it you hooked up with her!! And you know how much I like her! " I said defensively
"Look short shit I get it you love her. You can have her okay? I love Kat but what I did was wrong it shouldn't have happened she deserves you not a piece of shit like me" Brian said sounding a bit disappointed
I waited for him to continue
"Uggggh okay honestly Johnny I thought I did like her but in reality I was just being selfish I missed Mina and Kat was there, and I knew she had a crush on me and I thought maybe it would work out but then j realized I was being a dick and not a good friend to you or her"
I give him a stern look as if I'm unconvinced when in reality I wasn't. But hey if he feels bad, I like Brian vulnerable, mostly because he doesn't call me short shit when he is.

"Johnny I'm sorry okay?" He said sincerely
"Alright alright you owe me okay?" I say semi hesitantly
"Okay okay" he said tussling through his hair and leaning against the lockers
"Okay...." I say waiting for him to tell me what was sooo important
"Okay cool!"
"Brian"
"Yea...?"
"What the fuck were you going to tell?!" I say annoyed
"Oh shit yea okay. Have you talked to Kat?"
"Ummm yea kinda....didn't exactly go well"
"What happened?" Brian said concerned
"Well I questioned her about you. I wanted answers you know I mean I say 'I love you' to her and then she hooks up with you and it's like what the fuck you know?"
"Right..."
"So then we kinda got into it and I was basically like I don't know how much more I can take with the roller coaster she has me on and yea... I kinda walked away from her...why?"
"YOU IDIOT" Brian yelled
"What the hell dude" I said super confused
"fuck!!! Have you talked to Matt?" He asked me
"No.. Why what the hell is going on?!" Now he's confusing me
"Okay listen you didn't hear it from me, but I think you should find out what's going on between Kat and Matt."
"What do you mean there's nothing going on between them. Last time I checked she didn't even like him that much"
"Johnny you're being fucking stupid."
"How Brian?! Why can't you just tell me what is going on?!"
"because I don't exactly know!!"
At this point in fed up I don't understand his urgency and what he's even trying to fuckin say so I'm kind over it I roll my eyes at him expressing my annoyance and start to walk away
"Johnny!" Brian says
"What?!!! Just fucking tell me or don't! I'm late for fucking class dickhead"
"Johnny it's not something I can just like say." He said seemingly confused
"Then why in the hell did you bring it up to me man?" I say shaking my head
"Because you need to fucking know!!!!" Brian yells at me trying to justify this entire conversation
"Know what?!? For fucks sake Bri-"
"THEY FUCKED!" Brian shouts

I feel my jaw drop
I feel my books slip out of my hand
I feel my phone come out of my hand
I feel like I've just been hit by a bus

"Oh okay I get it April fools right?" I hope.
But the look on Brians face tells me otherwise. I instantly feel like I got hit by that same bus again. How could Kat move on so quickly?! I feel my heart shatter at the thought that me telling her I didn't know how much I could take anymore had zero effect on her, but instead she rushed to matts arms. Who the fuck did he think he was.
I feel some tears start to fill my eyes and I look away from Brian so he doesn't give me shit.
"Oh fuck! Johnny it's okay man" he says pulling me into a friendly hug.
I gladly accept because I really don't know what to do.
"You actually mean it when you said you loved her didnt you?" Brian said
"Always" I manage to get out pulling away from Brian and staring off into what seems to be oblivion as he pats me on the shoulder
"Look I'm sorry about everything Johnny, and I know I've been a dick to you and Kat. But I'm going to help you get through this, even if it means that's punching Matt a couple times" Brian says with a smirk
Honestly I don't want to punch Matt I don't want to hurt him or Kat. I'm just at a loss for words. I don't know what to do or feel
"Brian what am I going to do? The past couple month have been all about Kat, and now she's screwing Matt? How do I even do anything? This is all my fault" I say sadly
"Dude no look she may not even be with him. Besides sooner or later she's going to realize Matt doesn't care about her like you do, I mean you've held her hair back she's been too drunk, you've tucked her into to bed, you were there at the hospital, you've always been there. Matt barely knows her, she's going to regret it soon enough.
I continue to stare at the ground.
"I hope so man"
"Come on short shit, let's go get drunk. It's five o'clock somewhere right? I'll text Zack and Jimmy to meet us "
I let out a small chuckle and we walk out of school together, I know I'm going to need a shit ton of alcohol to get my mind off Kat, Matt, and the mess I'm in, because I'm already missing her.

Notes