“You don't have to stay here all the time, go home to Cindy. She needs you.”

“You need me.” May rolled her eyes, turning her back on her brother. He wouldn't leave. It had been three weeks since she had woken up in the hospital, no recollection of her time gone, no understanding of what had happened before.

“Go home Harry. I don't need you here.” He sighed, but he was complying. With a kiss to her forehead he assured her he would be there the following morning, bright and early. She locked the door behind him, watching him drive off before heading upstairs.

Her room was cold; it was always cold. She didn't mind it though. Somewhere in her mind she could feel a warmth that would really sooth and it wasn't here. Her eyes scanned over the flowers everywhere. Her mom brought her a new batch every week. They ranged from daisy's to roses, daffadillies and possies.

There had been a time in her life when she had loved flowers, but it had seemed to go along with all her memories and what she couldn't grasp. All she could really know was her past, all the way up to the day she had dialed her brothers number, a glass of water pressed to her lips. Everything else was black, and not just those moments in which she had been in a coma but the moments after as well. She was having troubles remembering anything. It all slipped by so quickly, days into nights.

Flustered May sank down into her vanity stool. She didn't want to look into the mirror, didn't want to see the face she knew she wouldn't remember as her own. She'd never thought the day would come in which she would forget herself but it seemed to be approaching ever so quickly.

It was an odd feeling, the heart longing for something her mind couldn't remember.

“Smile beautiful...” It was a whisper in her ear she wouldn't of heard any other time. Her eyes shot up, catching her reflection in the mirror, widening. Behind her, tall, skinny, and smiling was a man she wasn't sure of. She swiveled in her chair quickly, her heart pounding, throwing its self into her throat.

He wasn't there.

She rose, racing to her bedroom door and tossing it open. Her eyes scanned down the hall before she closed it tightly, locking it and leaning back against the wood. Her eyes searched every corner, every space; but there was no one there.

All in your head...

May shook her head and stressed a shaky hand through her hair. She would have called Harry, but she didn't want to continue being so helpless.

She slowly returned to her seat at the vanity, eyes drifting quickly to her reflection. She looked so tired, so very defeated. It wasn't making sense, she couldn't pinpoint the emotion inside her; a longing she didn't know. But it was there, and it bothered her day and night. A longing she couldn't fix because she didn't know what she needed... wanted.

She felt the fingers sliding through her hair, feather soft as they combed back her locks. Her eyes snapped shut quickly, lips ajar as she shook.

“No please... don't cry...” His voice brushed over her ear again, sending chills down her spine as cold enveloped her. She opened her eyes quickly, catching him once again in the mirror. He was bent over with his arms around her, his fingers brushing slowly up and down her arms.

She glanced down at her skin to see nothing, no sign of him. She shifted her eyes from mirror to herself, watching as he smiled softly, brushing kisses on her neck. All she could feel was the air around her, soft, cold... she shivered.

She found herself rolling her neck back, eyes on his as the shiver enveloped her. Her air puffed out white, the room chilling quickly.

“I miss you so much...” Slowly he removed his hands, his body rising. Her shivers left her, her body warming up. She felt the tears in her eyes, dripping down her cheeks as she stared into her reflection, wanting him, whoever he was, to stay there forever. The cry emitted from her lips, helpless, so very helpless as he vanished.
xXx
“I... I'm not saying I don't believe you May, I'm just saying you need to go see Dr. Thomas before you just jump to this kind of thinking.” She was flustered. Her brother wouldn't believe her, couldn't see reason. The man had been popping up everyday now, always brushing his fingers over her softly, sometimes innocently sometimes not. Sometimes he spoke, sometimes he didn't, but he always made her feel like her chest was caving in around her.

He always vanished.

She felt so helpless. Her only refuge was sleeping anymore, and even then she was haunted with a faceless figure that wanted so desperately to remind her of something.

“Thanks, Harry you're just so great.” She turned her back on her brother, refusing to listen to him anymore. She plugged her ears with her head phones, darting between the people in the busy California street. She had to get away from him, away from the coffee shop they had been at, away from it all.

When she saw him in the crowd, standing tall, waving at her as people darted by she moved in his direction. The minute she was close enough he was gone again, appearing further away from her, laughing.

She glanced back, seeing Harry trying desperately to break through the people. He continued to call out her name as she turned her attention back at the phantom she had been imagining. It only took a second more to make a choice.

Her pursuit of who no one else could see lasted for an hour. He carried her down streets, past buildings and people she did not know of. Always too far away, always out of her grasp. As she rounded the last corner, feet skidding around to catch up she slammed right into a body she had not been expecting. They both scattered to the ground.

“I'm sorry, I didn't see you there...” May quickly climbed to her feet, extending a hand to the stranger. He smiled meekly, taking her assistance and climbing to his feet. He dusted whatever was on him off of jeans with tattoo covered hands. She watched him mesmerized as his metal snake bites shinned in the light, beaming into her eyes.

“In a hurry aren't you?” May's eyes darted from him to behind him, her neck craning to see if she could see the phantom she had been chasing. He wasn't there though, no where to be seen, her heart racing at the thought of losing the only grasp she had at her sanity.

“Yes. I'm looking for... someone.”

“Maybe I can help, did he run past here as well?”

“He?”

“Did she run past here then?”

“Oh no... he's a he. I don't think you could see him though.” She pursed her lips, giving him the slightest trace of a smile. He returned it, crossing his arms. She glanced at his tattoos, spotting the various bits of artwork throughout. He was decorated, in so many colors. It sparked an image in her mind, someone else's arms crossed, wrapped around her, just as colorful...

“Why is that?”

“Because he's in my mind only it seems. It's painfully annoying, and it hurts so much. I don't know his name, I don't know who he is, I just know he's important and I want to tear my eyes out so I don't have to be haunted by something I can't... I can't grasp him no matter how hard I try. I want to... but it hurts.” She let out a deep sigh, knowing she sounded insane in that moment. He wouldn't understand, and he wouldn't care. He'd push her off like everyone did the wackos that lived on the street's and rambled at the stars, the moon, and the aliens coming to steal their brains.

“I think you need a drink.” She looked up at him confused as he chuckled, swinging an arm over her shoulders and leading her down the street in the direction he had just been coming from. She didn't fight him, finding her defeat enough to supply this distraction. He directed her to the back of a red brick building, leading her through a propped open door.

She heard the voices of the others before she could see them. The stranger directed her into the room where her eyes fell on the faces of two other men, both of them lost in conversation and laughter. Her heart hammered away as she thought of this stupidity she had just walked into.

Strangers. All of them.

“Who's your friend Zack?” May glanced at the man, Zack, who had directed her in here as he removed his arm and smiled at his friends. He glanced to her for some assistance.

“My name is May.” It was soft and he repeated it as if he had already known it to the others.

“It's unlike you to bring in strangers off the road.”

“It's unlike me to allow strangers to cart me around.” May's eyes danced over all their faces before she started to survey the little room they were all crowded in. Three sofas adorned three walls, the other one having a table and a mini fridge pressed up against it. The walls were covered in photos, what looks like records in cases, and posters. She felt a flush run over her cheeks as she realized quickly the faces in the posters were in front of her.

Rock star strangers.

Zack left her side to open the mini fridge, pulling out a waterbottle and handing it to her. She looked down at the bottle and raised a brow at him.

“Got something stronger?” His grin was infectious as he nodded, returning to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of whiskey. He beckoned her to the couch where she slipped down next to one of the other two strangers. Zack poured out two shots and before he could touch them May downed them both, screwing up her face at the taste.

The liquid slipped down her throat, burned the lining of her esophagus before ending up in the pits of her belly where it spread out like wild fire, burning every inch of her insides.

“You ok there?” She felt the hand on her back, steadying her as she wobbled slightly. She had hadn't alcohol in a while.

“I'll be fine.” Her answer was a whisper as she dropped her head into her hands, the light circles on her back lethargic. As her eyes slammed shut her mind reeled over images she couldn't peace together. Arms, hands, so colorful, light.... she could feel him, smell him, taste him... she gasped, sitting up straight and trying to rise but she fell back at the head rush.

“Maybe we should call an ambulance...”

“No... No hospital. I'm so sick of hospitals.” The circles stopped on her back, the stranger on her right pulling his hand back to pour another shot. He downed the second one leaving one there. May stared at it for a second before reaching out and gulping it down. The rush returned, her mind firing off as the burning sensation over took her senses.

With each drink came another flash, another memory...

“So May, are you going to tell us why you don't want to go to the hospital?”

“Because this will all be forgotten in a few hours anyhow, and I'd like to walk out of her at least knowing I'm not going to be pricked and poked and asked how I arrived there when I won't remember it. I'd rather be blissfully unaware of all this...” She was shaking now, tears threatening to fall. She wanted to be blissfully unaware of it all.

She wanted the pain to stop. The restricting sensation in her chest that was over powering every ounce of her being. She wanted the images in her mind to clear up so she could make sense of them; so she could make sense of the emotions she felt but didn't know. She wanted her haunting phantom to take her away and help her forget it all... whip it away and say goodbye.

The tears fell down her cheeks as she frantically tried to whip the away. They sat there, staring at her as she broke down. Not a single one of them knew what to say, eyes trying to decided on if to stare or be polite and look away.

“About three weeks ago I woke up from a month long coma. I don't remember... anything. I can piece together the time before my unconscious state easily but what happened while I was out is not there. Even when I try to remember what has happened since I woke up I'm fuzzy. It's like everything I do is going to leave me in no time and it hurts me to know I can't remember what I did this morning. I'm not going to remember your faces in an hours time, you'll just be figments of my imagination.”

She wasn't sure why she was telling them all this. She could feel the tension building in the room as she regained control over her tears. All of their faces were lost in a sober expression as the whiskey bottle was passed around silently. She found a chuckle in the folds of thick sadness as they all drank.

She felt connected to them some how.

“There's this phantom in my mind that's always with me. I don't understand it, I don't... I don't remember him but he's there. I don't think he's from my past which only means he's from my unconscious state. But that's not possible. No one believes me, no one.” She clinched her fists in anger, dropping her head quickly and pressing them to her head. She gritted her teeth in frustration, wanting to scream and yell at herself for being so absurd.

“I mean why would anyone believe me? Some crazed tattooed guy haunts you day and night and you think you loved him, and you think you met him while you were dieing... who would believe you right?” The silence fell thickly around her. She reached out for the bottle of alcohol but it wasn't on the table anymore. When she looked to her right, hoping to grab it she met angry eyes.

“What do you want?” His snarl of a question startled her. She flinched, looking to her left to Zacky who had the same mirrored glare on his face. She felt hurt for only a second, reminding herself quickly that they were just strangers.