The funeral is a small one, held at a small chapel just outside of Huntington. Leda was able to get out of the hospital for the ceremony. I didn’t go in until she showed up; she stayed by my side the whole time.

The week leading up to this somber occasion was painful, to say the least. I had to stay in the hospital for three days before hand. And even though I denied any form of therapy, I almost wish I hadn’t; everything hurt.

Matt and Michelle had been more than understanding, especially of my decision to stay with Brian and Michelle for the next four days. I felt most comfortable crying to her than to Matt, which meant she spent a lot of time at my bedside, comforting me; promising me everything was going to be okay.

And even though I knew she was right, right now, I wasn’t sure if I believed her entirely. It was like there was a giant, gaping hole in my heart, and I wasn’t sure if it would ever go away.

I let a sob echo throughout my entire body the second I step foot inside the building. Leda squeezes my hand, as if to tell me that I’m not alone.

It helped.

Only a few people showed up, which, according to Leda, was exactly how he would’ve liked it. Austin, Leda and I; Brian and Michelle; Matt and Val – even Gus; all eight of us gather in the small room. The casket sits at the front.

“Thank you all for coming.” My head snaps up. I hadn’t realized Leda had left my side, or that she was already speaking.

Noting my sudden discomfort, Gus reaches over and squeezes my hand gently. I squeeze back, grateful to have him there.

“I know a lot of you didn’t really know my brother, so I’ll tell you a little about him real quick.” Deep breath. “He was really smart. He was only sixteen, and he was going to be a senior in high school. And he had that stupid pick-up truck.” She laughs to herself. “He was always working on it when he could – which, granted, was not very often. He would say that truck was the ticket to his future. Whatever that meant.” I knew what it meant. “He was an arrogant asshole sometimes, but he was my brother – I loved him to death.

“And he took care of me, too. Whenever Anthony would… hurt me, he would drive me to Austin’s house, even if he didn’t have his license yet, so I was safe. He knew that we only had each other, and that meant we had to be there for one another. I’ll admit, I was pretty terrible at being there for him; I would do anything just to go back and tell him that I’m sorry I wasn’t…” Her voice breaks, but she takes another deep breath. “I know that I would often complain about him, but I never actually meant it,” she cries. “If it weren’t for him, I would probably be dead. He was the one who found me both times I tried to kill myself before, after all. Not only that, but he knew me better than almost anybody – he knew what I needed most. He… He always put me first. He never had to, but he did. And now, I’ll never be able to repay him for that…” She lets out a sob, and I bury my face in Gus’ shoulder. “It’s going to be so hard to go on without him. But I know that’s would he would’ve wanted – he would’ve wanted me to be safe, and live my life out like I should.

“And I’ll be damned if I don’t do just that. It’s the least I could do.”

“Wow – you took all these photos?” he asks me, as I lay take out some of the pictures Dillon had brought up for me. He had gone through my closet, pulling out all the best ones, so I could have them back.

He picks one up, holding it high above his head. It was funny seeing him like this – so carefree. Now that we both knew Leda was going to be okay, it felt nice to be able to just hang out like this.

The day after the three of them left, I decided to finally open the box Dillon had handed to me the day before he went into the hospital. But I didn’t want to do it alone, so I asked Hunter to come and help me – to come and see exactly what it was that I did, that I wanted to do someday.

The thing that made me feel free.

“These are really good, Autumn.” He studies it carefully, and I snicker at how ridiculous he looks.

“They’re not that great…” I mutter. He nudges my shoulder.

“Don’t say that; these are amazing. You really took all of these?” I nod, feeling my face heat up slightly. “I really like this one…” He holds up one of the Puget Sound up. It’s rather plain; just the blue water, and the land surrounding it.

I just shrug.

“And this one… Is this Matt?” He holds up the only one that hadn’t been in the box – the one I had brought down with me.

“Yeah. That’s the first one I ever took.”

“Wow.” He stares at it for a long time, and I giggle. “What?”

“You just look so… mesmerized.” He shrugs.

“When you said that art made you feel free… I guess I can really see why. Not that I didn’t see why before,” he adds quickly. I just roll my eyes and kiss his cheek. “This one is my favorite,” he declares before finally setting it down. “No other photo can persuade me otherwise.”

“Autumn? What are you doing?” Gus hisses as I lay the photo down on top of his casket, before it could be lowered into the ground. I just shake my head.

As I turn around, I notice Matt has a bit of a shocked look on his face, that matches the one on Gus’; they looked so similar, it was almost scary. I can tell that he wants to ask me just what I thought I was doing, but there weren’t any words to describe it, and he knew better than to ask.

That photo didn’t belong to me. Not anymore, at least. It belonged to the one person who deserved it more than anyone.

Austin meets my eyes on the way back over to Leda. He nods, and I feel glad that at least he seemed to understand why I had to do that.

Twenty minutes later, everyone is getting ready to leave. “Are you sure you don’t want to come home yet, sweetheart?” Michelle asks me quietly. I nod, managing to send her a small smile.

“I can give her a ride back,” Austin promises her. “It’s not a big deal.” She looks a little unsure, and I know it’s not because she doesn’t trust him – it was because she wasn’t sure me sticking around his gravesite was good for my mental health.

But I wasn’t going to stand at his grave.

Once they’re gone, Leda grabs my hand, and the two of us walk over to Anthony’s grave, not ten rows away from his.

During the brawl, Hunter had managed to grab a nearby rock and slam it against Anthony’s skull. As he lay dying, Anthony had ended up shooting him. He had been buried just two days earlier; no one showed up.

We stand at the headstone for a minute. Unlike the surrounding graves, there’s nothing but his name printed on it, along with his birth and death date. Nothing else. I stare at it for a minute, feeling anger course through my veins.

Suddenly, Leda spits right on it. I can’t help but feel rather shocked at this, but also happy.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” she mutters, smiling to herself. I laugh slightly, before raising my middle finger at it. We stand like this for a moment. Though we both felt that everything that he did to us hadn’t been completely justified, Hunter taking his life was satisfying to both with us, and we both took pleasure in knowing that he would never hurt anyone again.

“Okay, I think that’s enough disrespecting the dead for the day,” Austin announces from behind us, causing us both to jump. I feel my face heat up slighlty and he gives me a reassuring smile. “Leda, if you don’t mind, I want to talk to Autumn alone for a minute.” She glances over at me briefly before nodding and running off towards the car.

"What did you want to talk about?" I ask quietly, as if I'm afraid someone's going to hear us. he chuckles lightly and i begin to feel myself relax a little more.

There was no reason to be paranoid anymore. Anthony was gone now, and I was safe with Austin.

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay," he begins, bending down slighlty so i don't have to look up as much. "I can't imagine how hard this all must be for you. and honestly, it's a mystery to me - and everyone else, I'm sure - how you haven't completely lost it yet." He gives me a nervous smile and I shrug.

"I'm not really too sure, either," I admit.

"You're a really strong girl, Autumn. It's a really admirable quality of yours. But it's also a dangerous one." I look at him curiously.

"What do you mean?" I ask calmly. He pauses to consider his words for a moment.

"Just... Don't let your strenght create a wall between you and the things and people in your life who are importang." I straighten myself slightly. I understand what he means - don't be so quick to push people away, after everything I had been through.

I had been through a lot this summer. It was enough to give anyone trust issues. I had a feeling that I would be struggling with that for a while. But I had Gus and the guys back home. Slowly but surely, I know I would recover completely.

And as for Hunter, I know I will always hurt from that. But, as cliche as it sounds, I know that he wouldn't want me to dwell on it. I know that he would have wanted me to move forward. He would've wanted me to continue to feel free, even without him. And who knows - maybe one day, Leda and I can drive across the country, in his stupid little pick-up truck, in his honor.

Yes, that sounded like a good idea.

What's in the past happened. It doesn't matter how much I wish some things could have been different - I simply can't change any of it. All I can do is learn to grow from what did happened.

All I need to do is learn how to be free.

My name is Autumn Barret-Sanders, and this has been the story of how I died.

...and how I was reborn.

Notes

A/N: So like I said earlier, this is the original ending to this story. I will write an alternate ending probably sometime after finals, so expect that around early/mid June.

I would just like to say THANK YOU to everyone who ever commented/recommended/subscribed to this story. It's one of the longest I've ever written, and even though I'm not too proud of how I chose to end it (for now), I am proud of it as a whole. So thank you guys for continuing to inspire me to continue to write this. I really had fun with it =)

~WOLFY~