The next day, although I hadn’t thrown up all day, I still feel dizzy and cold; I spend the first half of the morning convincing Brian and Michelle to continue with their plans for the day, instead of fussing over me and ruining their fun. For some reason, Gus seems to be on my side – he reassures them that I’ll be fine on my own, since it wouldn’t be the first time.

So, after programming my cell phone number into both of their phones, making me swear not to open the door to anyone except for them, and showing me how to set the house alarm, they finally left me alone to rest.

For the first couple of hours, I tried to get some sleep. But after a while, I got bored, and ended up on the couch, flicking through the channels. None of the channels were familiar to me though, so I soon got bored of that as well, and decided to go exploring.

Like I had found earlier, the vacation home was smaller than Gus’ and I’s home back in Washington, but it was still relatively large. On the top floor, there were three bedrooms, just as many bathrooms, each one connected to each bedroom, and a spare room, which Brian used as a place for writing and playing guitar. Downstairs, there was a kitchen and a living room, a smaller bathroom than the ones upstairs, and an office of some sort.

The office seemed to spark the most interest within me; I push open the large, windowed door and step inside. There’s a laptop on the dark wood desk, which looks like it hasn’t been touched in ages, and there are a couple of bookshelves pushed up against one side of the room. I immediately move towards the laptop, desperate for some sort of internet connection, as I hadn’t had much since we got up here.

It powers up almost instantly, since it’s plugged into the wall nearby. There’s only one user – “Haner”. I click on it, and am surprised when it doesn’t require a password to log in. The desktop background tugs at my heartstrings a little – it’s an older picture of Jimmy, Michelle and Brian. Michelle is lying on Jimmy’s leg, and Brian looks half-asleep, sprawled across her stomach.

I shake my head, and proceed to open Google Chrome, but another icon catches my eye. It’s a shortcut to a folder labeled “adoption papers”.

I bite my lip nervously. It wasn’t right of me to snoop through Brian and Michelle’s private files, but I couldn’t help it – curiosity was eating me alive. I click on it, waiting anxiously for it to load. The first file that I see catches me off guard – “autumnandgus_birthcertificates”.

Why on earth would they have copies of our birth certificates? The question on my mind made me uncomfortable, and I let the cursor hover over the file with uncertainty. However, the thought that the answers about my mother could very well be on this computer eventually makes me click it.

Waiting for it to load felt like forever, but eventually, the Word document the birth certificates have been printed on opens. I take my time reading over my basic information, like full name, place of birth…

I read Matt’s name over and over again, imprinting it in my mind. For some reason, it almost felt like I was hoping that he wasn’t really my father – that there was some sort of misunderstanding. This was probably because of how distant he was with me – how he had only known me for a couple short weeks, and had already managed to completely betray my trust. But seeing his name printed on this birth certificate only confirmed it further in my mind.

Realizing that the next piece of information would tell me who my mother is, I take a deep breath, fearing the worst. Was I really ready for this? Was I finally going to find out the truth?

I let my eyes scan over the name printed on the document, and I freeze up. I reread it again and again and again, until I’m sure it’s real; it’s not just there.

And suddenly, it made sense as to why Brian and Michelle had our “adoption papers” saved onto their computer.

~

The next few hours are spent in complete shock – everything was beginning to fall into place and just make sense. I just couldn’t believe how oblivious I was to any of it.

I want nothing more than to call someone and tell them that I figured it out – that I knew who our mother was. But I couldn’t – not until someone explained to me why it was such a big deal that I didn’t find out.

However, this feeling of betrayal eventually becomes too much; when I get to the point that I feel I am about to break down completely, I lock myself in my room and bury myself under the covers. Unable to stand keeping it to myself anymore, I dial Leda’s number, and cry to her for about an hour until I fall asleep again.

Sometime later, I am being awoken by someone gently brushing strands of hair out of my face. I open my eyes slightly to see Michelle hovering over me. Even though I still feel undeniably betrayed by everyone, I can’t find it within me to push her away. She brushes her thumb across my cheek, looking down at me with so much love; I can’t bring myself to be angry at her.

“How are you feeling sweetheart?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper. “You look like you’ve been crying earlier. Is everything alright?” Such a simple question almost made me burst into tears all over again. I want nothing more than to scream at her and ask her why she was keeping the truth from me still. “If you’re still sick tomorrow, we can leave a day earlier than planned…” There’s a flash of sadness in her eyes, and I immediately feel bad. I wish I hadn’t gotten sick in the first place, since I didn’t really get to see her much back in Huntington anyway.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” I manage to mumble. “I’m feeling much better now, actually.”

“You still feel a little warm…”

“I’m fine,” I insist, forcing a smile. She sighs slightly.

“Alright. Are you feeling well enough to come and eat with us? Brian and Gus are ordering a pizza…” I know that you should refrain from eating greasy or fatty food less than twenty-four hours after you’ve gotten sick, but the thought of pizza right now sounded really good.

I nod.

“Yeah, I’ll join you guys in a minute.” She smiles, clearly glad to hear it. As she gets up to leave, I call after her, “Can you ask Gus to come up here first?”

While I wait for my twin brother to come upstairs, I crawl out of bed and move over to the vanity. I study my reflection for a minute, trying to pick out similarities between Michelle and I. Surprisingly, I find that it’s much easier to find those, versus similarities between Matt and I. My nose, for one, was sculpted more like hers, and even though I had Matt’s eye-color, I certainly had her shape.

Just then, I hear Gus knock on my door, before stepping in and closing it behind me. He looks almost overjoyed that I was finally deciding to talk to him. Even though I was still furious with him, I needed answers that I know he had.

“What’s up?” he asks me, sitting down at the foot of my bed and looking at me expectantly. I fold my arms across my chest, trying to make it seem like I’m angry at him. He seems to get the hint, and the light in his eyes begin to fade considerably.

“I found our birth certificates,” I finally say, after a moment of tense silence. He inhales sharply.

“Where did you find them?” he asks.

“On Brian’s computer. At first I wondered why he would even have them in the first place, but then I found out about Michelle…”

“So do you see why we couldn’t tell you?” My mouth falls open slightly. I absolutely failed to see why it was such a big deal.

“No. No, I don’t,” I snap. He sighs, running both hands through his hair.

“Autumn,” he begins gently. “We just were afraid that you wouldn’t understand…”

“What do you take me for?” I yell. “A child? I’m just as old as you are – I’m just as mature as you are!” He scoffs at this.

“Really? Could’ve fooled me…”

“Excuse me?” I demand, offended by such an immature statement.

“You spend all day locked up in your room – and then you complain that Matt isn’t spending time with you. You don’t even try, Autumn; you blame everyone else for your loneliness, when you’re really the cause of the problem.”

“It’s not so easy for me, Gus,” I reply quietly. “You can make friends with almost anyone, but I can’t bring myself to even say ‘hi’ to most people…”

“Yeah, if it weren’t for me, you probably wouldn’t even have any friends.” My eyes snap up to look at him. It was such a… statement. I couldn’t believe he would say something like that.

Sure, if Gus hadn’t been around, I probably wouldn’t have the same friends as I do now. I would probably have had to grow up on my own, and figure out how to talk to people on my own. But he saw how easily I was able to make friends with Leda – so how could he say such a thing? Did he really doubt me that much?

Even worse – did he seriously doubt that I would be able to handle the truth? That Michelle was our mother? What’s so horrible about that?

“Yes I would,” I growl, growing defensive. He just rolls his eyes.

“Oh, please, Autumn. You hate almost everyone at school – face it, you’re like a lost puppy without me or one of the guys to shelter you.” I can feel myself begin to shake with rage.

“I am not.” He laughs at me.

“See why we think you’re so immature? You deny the truth when it’s standing right in front of you –!”

I clutch my right fist in pain; my eyes water. Through my tears, I see Gus clutching his cheek and staring at me in shock – his expression matched exactly how I felt right then. I can’t believe I just hit my brother like that…

“Get out…” I spit. “Get the fuck out…” He practically runs out of there.

Minutes later, I compose myself, and head downstairs. Right as I turn the corner that led into the kitchen, I practically run into Brian.

“Oh, good; I was just about to come talk to you.” He looks down on me, disappointment filling his eyes. I gulp.

“What is it?” I ask, each word shaking like mad.

“Did you hit your brother?” There was no point in denying it; he could probably tell from the look in my eyes – and the way I was still clutching my fist in pain. He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Autumn…” He shakes his head. “Hitting your brother isn’t going to solve anything – in fact it’s going to make it even worse.” Brian studies me for a minute. “Why did you do it?”

Tears begin spilling down my face. All my emotions seemed to be building up right now – from Dillon, to finding out about our father; to Matt and Gus betraying me; to finding out that Leda had tried to kill herself; to finding out about our mother; to everything Gus said. I shake violently, not only from sadness, but from anger. Brian clutches both of my shaking arms; I can hear him trying to speak to me, but eventually he gives up on that, and instead wraps me in his arms in an attempt to calm me down.

“What’s going on?” I hear Michelle walk towards us, concern filling her voice.

“I… I have no clue,” Brian mutters. “Something must have happened between her and Gus…” I feel Michelle’s arm on mine as she gently pulls me out of Brian’s embrace.

She bends down a little so I don’t have to look up at her; she brushes hair out of my face and tears off my cheeks.

“Autumn, can you talk to me, honey?” I consider this for a second – it was time to put my betrayal aside and try to explain myself to one of the people who might be the most understanding – and who might be able to do something about it.

Nodding, she pulls me into the living room. Gus is sitting on the couch, and he narrows his eyes when he sees me. He’s holding an icepack to his cheek, and when he removes it for a fraction of a second, I can see that it’s already slightly swollen.

“Gus, do you want to get some ice for your sister’s hand?” I can tell from the look on his face that no – no, he didn’t want to get ice for my hand.

But it isn’t a request, and Gus isn’t one to argue against authority. Reluctantly, he gets off the couch and makes his way towards the kitchen. Michelle has me sit down where he just was, and a few seconds later, he returns with a plastic bag full of ice, which he thrusts angrily into my lap.

“Thank you,” Michelle says for me. “Could you please leave us alone for a minute?” He nods politely at her before walking back towards the stairs – but not without sending me one last glare over his shoulder.

Once alone, Michelle sits down beside me, helping me to press the ice to my bruised skin, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. The silence relaxes me, but I know that it won’t last much longer.

As if reading my mind, Michelle speaks up, “So. First thing’s first – why did you hit your brother?” I sigh, flexing my hand slightly.

“He was calling me immature.”

“So you hit him,” she laughs, and I laugh a little too.

“Well, he was also saying how I was lost and helpless without him and… I don’t know. I guess my anger at him from the last couple of days sort of built up and I lost it.” She sighs, running a hand down my hair.

“I had a feeling something was up between you two,” she says. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” I nod.

“He was keeping secrets from me – secrets about our mother.” I notice her face pale slightly, but she nods at me to continue. “It really hurt because we’ve never kept secrets from each other before – especially something so big… Don’t I deserve to know who she is?”

“…Of course sweetheart.” I can tell by the look on her face that she’s dying to say something, but she was still trying to find the right words.

Luckily for her, I already found mine.

“So why didn’t you tell me?” Her eyes widen.

“Honey,” she exhales. “I’m so sorry… You have to understand that I tried to tell you, but either Matt wouldn’t let me, or it wasn’t a good time, or…” She begins to cry.

“Why wouldn’t Matt let you?” I ask.

“I don’t know,” she admits, wiping under her eyes with her finger. “He told Gus.”

“Why would he tell Gus, but not me?” She shakes her head.

“Probably because he knows him better…?” she suggests. “Either way it doesn’t matter anymore – you know the truth now.”

“No wonder Val was so upset…” I mutter, and she laughs.

“No,” she tells me. “No, not as much after the first couple of days. As soon as she found out that you and Gus were mine and that Matt was trying to keep you two from me…”

“That’s horrible…” I mutter, suddenly feeling angry at Matt. “Why would he do something like that?”

“Damned if I know. It’s not like I’ve done anything to him, other than sleep with him – fifteen years ago.”

“And Brian knew? I mean, he knew that you had us?” I ask, and she nods.

“Of course. He was one of the very few people outside of Matt’s and my immediate family who knew. I could never keep something like this from him.”

“So… Then he lied when he said he had no idea who our mother was that first day.” She shakes her head, frowning slightly.

“No, not necessarily. We both thought that you were mine, but we decided not to say anything until Matt told us himself. Brian came over and questioned him while you were at Leda’s house the next day.”

I take a deep breath, trying to process all this new information. For some reason, Matt had been lying to everyone – first Jim and Rhonda, then Michelle, then the rest of the band, then me. But why? What was so bad about the fact that she was our mother?

It didn’t make any sense.

“And none of the guys know?”

“As far as I know, no. I know Brian wants to tell them, though.”

“He should,” I agree.

“I don’t know. It could really mess things up – because not only did Matt lie to everyone, I technically lied to everyone. I never told them that the reason I didn’t go to high school with them freshman year was because I was pregnant with my sister’s boyfriend’s baby – babies.” I guess I could see what she meant – that was a huge secret, and to have kept it from them for over fifteen years…

“You’re right. Maybe he should wait – but he’ll tell them eventually, right? Like, at least before we leave?” She shrugs.

“I hope so,” she says quietly. “I hate living with this secret, and I know Brian does, too.” She smiles to herself. “Honestly, I owe him so much. He’s been so supportive through all of this…” She looks over at me and squeezes my uninjured hand gently. “And I’m glad you’re here now, too – god knows your brother is already on Matt’s side…”

“Do you have any idea what he might have said to Gus to make him think telling me anything was a bad idea?”

“Not a clue. Trust me when I say that if I knew, I would tell you.” I nod, believing every word she says. “You’re not mad that I didn’t tell you, are you?” I have to think for a moment.

“No,” I finally say. “I’m not.”

Notes

A/N: So a lot of you already pretty figured it out from the last chapter, but yes; Michelle is their mother - I know, I'm a genius (kidding)

I loved reading your comments for the last chapter honestly. It made me happy that everyone was able to figure it out - I didn't want to come right out and say it, but at the same time, I didn't want to be too vague. But yeah; now you all know the truth. Yay

Thanks guys =)

~WOLFY~