Save Me

I'm done waiting for everything to get better.

I sigh to myself, the day Matt said that to me, I stopped talking to him. It didn't seem to effect him one bit, he still seemed just like normal, I knew I meant nothing to him. Maybe it was okay to just leave the world forever, it's not like anyone would miss me anyways.

Trudging over to my locker, I noticed a note was stuck in it. I furrowed my eyebrows, heading over to it. Ripping it off I look at the words, simply scribbled on. This was it, it's what I've been waiting to push me over the edge for one last time.

Dear Sarah,

I'm glad we don't talk anymore, I'm glad you got the message that I fucken hate you. I hated hearing you blab insistently about your own problems. It doesn't matter that were tied to each other basically, I hope you kill yourself, it'd make my life so much easier. I'm tired of seeing the nasty scars you leave on your skin and life. Don't take this wrong way, I never did enjoy your company.

Sincerely, Matt.

This couldn't be Matt, he couldn't say that to me. I knew sometimes he'd get annoyed of me, but this? Did he really change that he would actually have a cold enough side of him to write it on a note and put it on my locker. I purse my lips together, debating on what I should do.

The tears came over but I brushed them aside. I needed to get this day over with, I only had a few hours left. I grabbed my lunch before heading to the room. I honestly thought my last day alive should be with someone who cares, oh wait, that's no one.

My spot that I originally sat at was taken by the one and only Valary Dibenedetto. I shouldn't have to fight for a spot in my cousin's life, I should have one reserved for me, like what the fuck? I slam my food down on the table that I sat at, alone. All the guys were laughing and chuckling along at everything that was happening, not even noticing my absence.

Why didn't I just go with my parents? They wouldn't have let this happen, would they? I was so much in my oblivion I didn't notice Brian waving his hand in front of me. I smacked it away, hearing him chuckle. Why was he over here?

"What are you doing over here?" He questions, sliding in the chair next to me.

"As you can see," I mutter, gesturing over towards where he was previously sitting. "Someone already is occupying my seat."

He only bobs my head, not going away. I was rather annoyed by this, it's like my cousin and him switched brains and that's why my cousin fucking hates me now. If Brian changed so quickly maybe that's why Matt did. Who's knows with guys and their man periods.

"What are you doing tonight?" Brian asks curiously.

I snort loudly, why would he care what I was doing tonight, this was probably just some kind of joke he was seeing how long it could go.

"Not you." I reply bluntly.

I saw his facial expression turn in surprise. Out of all the comebacks he's heard from me, he didn't see that coming? I only smirk slightly and continue stabbing my victimized food with my fork. I knew this day was going to end everything but like a fairy tale, there was no good endings this time.

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Matt drove home, I walked. This happened ever since our fight. In all honesty it was calming to walk by myself. I'm lucky Brian didn't decide to walk with me. He asked if he could come over to hang out with me, I said sure knowing I'd be dead before he got here.

I sighed, grabbing rope from the garage and a few other things, along with notebook paper and pen. It was probably best if I jotted down just a few goodbyes, I didn't want the paper tear soaked.

It ended just as I hoped it wouldn't, the paper was now drying and done bleeding ink. I wiped my eyes, it was now or never. I took a shaky breath, was I really ready for this? Not really, but I don't care. I was too fatigued to even bother.

The noose that I previously tied was on the desk in the guest bedroom. The hook was secured in place, a chair waiting there. I was waiting, for Matt to leave for basketball practice. I assumed I probably wouldn't break my neck and I'd have to suffocate for a while. I didn't need anyone walking in and ruining it.

My final thoughts rushed through my head. How was Matt going to react? Was he just going to laugh and get over it? I wouldn't be surprised at this rate. Finally hearing the car pulling out of the drive way, my aunt and uncle had to go shopping, asking if I wanted to tag along. I politely declined and was finally home alone.

"I'll miss you Matt." I confess in a hoarse whisper.

I grabbed the noose, tying the top part around the hook on the ceiling, it already had been tested. I used a few cinder blocks to double check quickly. I placed it around my neck, I wanted to scream at the world one more time, but I didn't. A pesky tear fell from my eye and I wiped it away.

"Save me." I whisper.

My feet kicked away the chair feeling the rope tighten around my neck. My legs kick desperately but I'm in no attempt to stop my fate, I feel my vision go fuzzy. The last thing I remembered was someone yelling, everything else just went black.

Notes

:OOOO Did she die? Did Brian rush in?! Did Matt really write that note?!?!?!?!