Save Me

It had been around 3 weeks at Matt's for me now. In all honesty, it was going downhill for me.

It wasn't Matt, staying at his place was great but, school was at my throat. It hadn't eased down with the bullying except I've noticed something particularly odd. Sure Zack backed off from bothering me but it had seemed that Brian had changed completely. He wouldn't comment on posts about me on social media, nothing mean but he didn't defend. My cousin told me to not let it bother me, it was stupid in the first place.

I couldn't keep going on with this stupid shit that was happening, some of it had already pushed me past my breaking point. I have had enough of people's bullshit. I'd been locking myself in the guest bathroom every night, crying and cutting the whole time. Matt had seemed to care less about me at the time, he found new interest in a popular girl, Val. She wasn't fond of me but she got all the attention she wanted from Matt which ticked me off slightly.

It's another night, another restless night. I have grown tired of crying and hanging my wrist over the sink or hiding in the bathtub, not wanting the blood dripping all over the floor. I heard my phone vibrate, sighing I picked it up, expecting a message from Matt.

As usual it was him, asking where I was at. While it was basketball season for him, I stayed at home, he was probably on his way and I'd have to lie again, saying I was over at a friend's place. I responded with a quick "Carlie's place." and before I set my phone down it vibrated again.

I furrowed my eyebrows, he couldn't have messaged me back THAT fast. I check my notifications, someone messaged me on Messenger. I open up the app and who's name appeared almost made my heart stop. Why the fuck would Brian be messaging me? I'm busy trying to sulk in my own self pity and be a bitch about life.

"Is your cousin home?" - B

"Why don't you text him yourself?" - S

"Fine, God." - B

Sighing, I toss my phone to the side. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now, I was tired, mentally and physically. I place my forearms in the cooled water. The clear ocean turning a light red, my wrists and thighs burning. The cuts were deeper, bigger, not enough.

"Why am I still alive." I breathe out.

I lay my head on the side of the porcelain tub. Trying desperately to lose myself for awhile. The numbness of cutting was starting to fade away. It wasn't enough anymore, cutting wasn't permanent enough. It couldn't stop the pain long enough for my satisfaction.

I didn't realize I drifted off to sleep until I heard a loud knock on the locked door of the guest bathroom. I shot up, trying desperately to get out of the bathtub quickly. They tugged at the doorknob but it wouldn't budge, thank the lord for that.

"Sarah are you in there?" I hear from the other side.

I relaxed slightly, it wasn't Matt, but that didn't make it any better. I realized that there were no towels in the room, fuck. I heard Brian outside, pacing around the room, why was he here anyway? I finally decided, the arrogant bastard wouldn't look at my body, he's more interested in his own.

"Brian what are you doing here?" I question, stepping out of the bathroom.

"Sarah!" He hollers, turning away from me.

"Oh please, you wouldn't bother staring at me." I mutter, hurrying towards Matt's room.

"S-sarah." He stutters.

"What?" I ask turning towards him.

His eyes scanned across my arms, not bothering going lower. I could see a look in his eyes, was that sympathy? I didn't want it but why was he changing so much? He would have never looked at me like that, he would have laughed. I turn away from him, searching for a pair of clothes and bandages. Before I could start wrapping it up, he ripped it out of my hand.

"What the fuck man..." I mutter.

"You know Matt wouldn't like you doing this to yourself." He mutters, grabbing my arm, starting to bandage it up for me.

I give him an odd look, is he on drugs? Literally, what made him start giving a shred of a shit about me? It's interesting, he's completely focused on my arm, not even trying to glance at my nude body. I found it some what calming. I sigh and just let him do it for me, no harm there. I heard the front door open, thinking nothing of it until his booming voice nearly made me piss myself.

"Brian what the fuck?!" He nearly screams.

Brian jumps, spinning around face to face with my cousin. One word describing Matt's expression, pissed. I instantly ripped the clothes that I had laying out on the bed, covering my inappropriate regions. I stare wide eyed at my cousin, this could only end badly.

"What are trying to do with my damn cousin." He hisses.

"Look, Matt." Brian starts, backing up and putting his hands up in surrender. "It's not what you think."

"Bull shit." Matt growls.

"I'm serious!" Brian argues back.

"Then what was happening?" Matt questions.

I stare back and forth at both of them. I honestly felt bad for Brian, as surprising as it sounds, he was trying to help. Matt seemed to try calming down, which didn't work whatsoever, his muscles tensed up worse and I was ready to just snap at him.

"She was- was doing bad and I was helping her." Brian stammers out.

"What do you mean bad?" Matt asks, cocking an eyebrow.

"It's not his fault, okay?" I snap. "He surprisingly enough was trying to help because your ass is never here so I decided it was okay to hurt myself again!"

Matt's eyes ignite in a dark fire, he tells Brian to get out before locking the door and trudging back over to me. He ripped the clothes from my hands and I cover myself with my hands, what the fuck is wrong with him?! He grabs my forearm that Brian was about to start on and I hiss in pain, that bastard.

"If you ever fucking cut yourself again, I'll tell your damn parents." He hisses.

I felt tears burning at my eyes, from the pain of my wrist and his words.

"You make yourself seem like some attention whore!" He yells at me.

My stomach drops and my heart stops, did he really just say that?! Without thinking about it, I smacked him, just to feel the same pain happen back. My cousin never would have hit me, he's stopped caring about me I guess. I rip on a pair of bra and underwear before storming out of his room, holding onto the clothes I were going to wear. I ran past Brian, heading to the guest bedroom, closing the door and locking it. I heard Brian banging on the door but I didn't bother, I hated my cousin right now, how could he fucking betray me and say that to me? I lean against the door. Sobbing silently while falling to the ground.

I hate my life.

Notes

:O whats with Brian? Why would Matt say that to Sarah, his own blood?