"Hey, pretty blue-haired girl, look up at me," I looked up into the lisped-voiced man's crystal blue eyes.
"You gotta give your dad a break, I know he's stubborn, but he's really trying, Jules. He just doesn't know how to connect to you. I know you miss me and your mom and it still upsets you, but he lost us, too. You're not going through this alone and I'm not letting you slip back into no-talking depressed teen mode, do it for me?"
"Ji-Jimmy?" I was confused, he's been dead for five years.
"Yes, I know, Jimmy, you're dead and a ghost and shit, but yes it is me, just don't ask stupid questions like your dad did,"
"H-How are you here?" I pushed tears back as the tall man embraced me into one of his magical hugs.
"I'm always here, you just don't see me, it's about time for me to go. I like your band, you guys sound good, keep following that dream, baby Haner. I love you and remember what I have said," He said, kissing my forehead and fading into dust.
I fell to my knees, screaming his name and crying. My body was being shaken and lured out of it's euphoric state.
"Julia, come on, wake up, baby, it's just a dream."
"He left me, why did he leave?" I wiped my eyes as I sleepily sobbed.
"I don't know, Jules, it was just Jimmy's time."
The next morning I walked down to the kitchen table to talk to dad after last night's nightmare but my uncles stood in there with him, discussing the highlights of their last tour.
"JULES! YOU DID SO GOOD LAST NIGHT!" Zacky wrapped me in a big hug, followed by Matt, and then followed by Johnny and Arin. I smiled and shook out my limbs from the plague the dream of Jimmy left me.
I resisted the urge to harm myself, I don’t even know how Jimmy knew is the strange part. No one else in the family knew about what I did after Jimmy’s death. Hell, dad didn’t even know and I was practically dead.
-Flashback, 3 weeks after Jimmy’s death-
The rain splashed the windows, reminding me of the tears flowing down my face. Dad had become shut off, only talking to me when he needed words of reassurance. Michelle had been taking care of me and that wasn’t really fair to her, I was just her stepdaughter, yet she treated me like my mother did. Ouch, there was the kicker. Michelle headed out to get more groceries and to go see how the others were holding up. I stomped up to my room and went into Dad’s bathroom. I grabbed the pills from his medicine cabinet and quietly snuck to my room. I grabbed a razor and cut really deep into my flesh and popped the entire bottle of pills. Waiting for death that never came.
-end-

“Hey, you okay, kiddo?” Johnny looked worriedly at me, his lips forming in a line.
“mhm,” I mumbled and quietly went back to my room.
“What’s her deal,” I heard Matt ask.
“You know how we all had dreams about Jimmy after he died,” Dad asked, “She’s still having them,”
“It’s almost been five years, Brian. Maybe she needs to talk to someone…” Matt trailed off.
“No, that never worked with her. She’s been so preoccupied with everything that I think the grief is just now hitting.” It was true.
I picked up my guitar and put it in the case, reading the message from Nia.
Band practice at 2:00 today, hope you’re feeling better, Jules. - N
I decided to quickly get ready and leave with my guitar case. I grabbed my stuff as Miranda picked me up.
We quietly headed into the rehearsal room and began getting everything set up. Rena and Nia’s mother, Carrie, walked up to me.
“I know you think you’re some big star or whatever, but Rena will be taking the singing parts for Raw. Real. and Act the Part.” Her blonde hair flipped over her shoulder, much like her personality. I wasn’t in the mood to argue, so I accepted whatever she said.
“She’s probably on drugs, she looks like she is on something,” Carrie added.
I rolled my eyes and we began playing, Rena was off pitch the entire time.
“JULIA! You are off pitch!” Carrie screamed.
“No, she’s not, she’s right on, Rena’s off,” Samantha, our manager, stood up for me.
“Don’t stand up and act like her mother, you know that whore died years ago,”
Carrie and my mom hated each other during high school because she has had an endless crush on him for years. My mom was always kind and calm, so that’s what I had to do, resist the urge to unleash my dad’s temper. I knew I was good, I was the only reason Hollywood Records signed us, hell, it said that in the contract. Schecter had only picked me up, the other two had to buy their bass and their guitar. I always told them if they were being charitable because of my father, not to bother.
Rena, Nia, and I always had been cool, I never took out their mother’s behavior on them and they blocked her out and always apologized later. I started writing a song while they finalized the set list, we would be starting recording next week.
Too Many Faces

do you care about me?
Do you think I don't bleed?
Are you trying to hide behind a stupid lie
When the truth is in your eyes?
Do you think I don't see
What you're pushing on me?
In your mind you think it's only you against the world
Is it you against the world?
You say you'll never go that far
But you're not who you say you are
You've got too many, too many faces
Your time is up in too many places
You say you'll never push that hard
But you're not who you say you are
You've got your heart in too many places
You've got too many, too many faces
Have you lost yourself?
Always trying to sell
The person that you think you are
You stay alone
Cause real's just too hard
Always laying the blame
You're never one and the same
Could it be that you're afraid to look inside and find
You'll never get it right
So many sides to you
Nobody knows the truth
How you ever gonna keep it straight?
I know what you're all about
I've got you figured out
Do you wanna be a memory?

I had a feeling the studio would be absolute chaos and a total war of power. I decided to head home and get some sleep and recover from Carrie’s blows.

Notes

Hey guys, smart me deleted the entire story so, have the second chapter. Ugh.