Chapter Forty-One:

I didn’t have any problems falling asleep. All of the medicine the doctors have me on took care of that. I barely feel anything. Thankfully, I’ve been dreaming very little. The nightmares have been kept to a minimum. I spent my morning in and out of consciousness. I’m having more trouble than normal staying awake today. My eyelids feel so heavy.

-.-

“Angela,” someone whispered. Someone is holding my hand. I forced my eyes to slide open. It took me a minute to focus. I saw Matt staring at me. I smiled.

“You came.” I smiled. He nodded.

“Of course I did. I told you I would.” He leaned forward and kissed me. I pulled back, covering my mouth.

“I’ve got morning breath. I’m sorry.” I apologized.

“I don’t mind.” He smirked and captured my lips once more. “I come bearing gifts.” He told me. I smiled.

“Is it a pony?” I asked. He chuckled.

“No, but I’ll remember that for next time.” He promised. I giggled.

“Okay. What did you bring me?” I asked him. He looked nervous. He pulled his laptop out of his bag and turned it on. I watched as he booted it up and tinkered with a flash drive. He handed me a pair of headphones after plugging it into his computer.

“I-I just want you to listen. Don’t say anything until it’s finished. Okay?” He asked. I nodded.

“I think I can manage that.” I told him. He smiled.

“Good.” He put the headphones over my ears and hit play. Music filled my ears. So far, it’s not as heavy as their other stuff. It’s softer.

Matt held my hands and looked at me as the singing started. This is the song he was telling me about last night. It has to be. It’s something so personal, and he’s sharing it with me. I don’t feel good enough. I didn’t say anything, just focused on the lyrics, and the sweet, sexy sound of Matt’s voice.

Dear God, the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I’m not around, when I’m much too far away.
We all need that person, who can be true to you,
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I’d stayed.
‘Cause I’m lonely and I’m tired…
I’m missing you again,
Oh, no.
Once again.

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. He really wrote this about me?

There’s no one here while the city sleeps and all the shops are closed.
Can’t help but think of the times I’ve had with you,
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through,
Oh yeah.

His eyes bored into mine. The gaze we’re sharing is so intense. It’s unreal.

Dear God, the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I’m not around, when I’m much too far away.
We all need that person, who can be true to you,
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I’d stayed.
‘Cause I’m lonely and I’m tired…
I’m missing you again,
Oh, no.
Once again.

He leaned in and kissed me. This moment is perfect.

Well, some search never finding a way,
Before long they waste away.
I found you, something told me to stay.
I gave into selfish ways.
And how I miss someone to hold, when hope begins to fade.

I lost myself in him.

Miles away from those I love; purpose hard to find.

Dear God, the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I’m not around,
When I’m much too far away.
We all need the person that can be true to you.
I left her when I found her and now I wish I’d stayed,
‘Cause I’m lonely and I’m tired.
I’m missing you again.
Oh, no.
Once again.

I took off the headphones and mopped my face with my hand. Neither of us said anything for awhile. We sat in a comfortable silence, starring at each other.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Matt broke the silence. He climbed onto the bed with me. He placed himself carefully, so he didn’t sit on my legs.

“I’m… shocked.” I told him. He looks like he’s trying to read me. “You really wrote that about me?” I asked him. He nodded.

“I’m here. I’m all in. I don’t want anyone else. I can’t think about anyone else. I was telling you the truth. I’m going to step up and be here for you.” He cupped my cheek. I smiled. He always makes me feel like a girl. I don’t want to cry. I’m tired of crying and yet I can’t seem to control it.

“I believe you.” I breathed.

“I meant what I said in the song.” He tilted my chin up so I had to look at him. “I love you.” He said those three words that makes everything so much more concrete. He can’t take it back now. We’re really in this. I leaned into him and laid my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me. “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know where I stand.” He whispered.

“I… love you, too.” I whispered. He felt him smile next to me.

Notes

I know it's been awhile since the last chapter. Sorry about the delay. I've been really busy.


Music Credit: "Dear God" -- Avenged Sevenfold