Two Vibrant Hearts

“Come on, Emma. The guys have probably already started drinking and I want to see them.” I called as I pulled on my Avenged hoodie. I realized at this point it was totally stupid to wear Avenged stuff while hanging out with the guys since they already knew how much I liked them but I just didn’t care. I heard Emma shuffling through her stuff for a sweatshirt and I pulled out two Pepsis while I waited for her.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t tell me that we were going to be sleeping over at Brian’s tonight.” Emma remarked as she came out in a BMTH sweatshirt carrying a small backpack full of clothes. I threw her the Pepsi and she just barely caught it, shooting a light glare at me when I laughed at her.
“You’ve been quite sassy lately, Emma. What’s up?” I mentioned as I locked the door behind us. Emma just shrugged and I looked at her curiously.
“I don’t know. I guess we just haven’t been around each other as much anymore that I forgot how annoying you can get.” Emma answered, her voice light in a way that I knew she wasn’t trying to be mean. I chuckled a little and put my arm around her shoulder.
“Trust me, I forgot how annoying you are, too.” I cooed as I pulled her close to me. She squirmed under my grasp and punched me in the side to make me let go. “I also forgot how much you hated being touched by everyone but Johnny.”
“No way dude, sometimes I just want to choke Johnny if he touches me when I’m in a bad mood.” Emma interjected. I laughed and unlocked my car, throwing my stuff in the back before getting in. Emma followed my actions and we plugged her iPod in as I sped off towards Brian’s house. It was quiet for a few minutes besides the music before Emma spoke again. “So you haven’t said anything about your trip to San Diego yet.”
“I know. I’ve been waiting until a group meeting since I’m sure the guys want to know about it too.” I informed her. She nodded and I smirked. “And I sure as hell want to know what shit Jimmy and Matt got into in Vegas.”
“Oh, that’s gonna be interesting to listen to.” Emma snickered. I laughed too, ignoring the slight burn at the small lie I had told. I did feel really bad about not telling my best friend what I was doing behind everyone’s back, but I knew how much Emma was against girls being okay with doing stuff with guys while they were in relationships. Especially since her ex-boyfriend tried to do that with her and it pissed her off.
I pulled into Brian’s parking lot a few minutes later, stopping for a second to just stare at Brian’s house. I scrunched my eyebrows in thought and Emma gave me a weird look.
“Fucking rock stars, man. Huge-ass houses for one person.” I huffed as I opened the door. I heard Emma laugh and get out behind me.
“I know dude. Especially Brian. Like at least the others have a chance at starting a family. But Gates? Nah, man, he’s going to be one-night-standing it for the rest of his life.” Emma added. I laughed and nodded.
“Cheers to that, home-slice.” I agreed. We laughed to ourselves as we opened the door and walked in. Jimmy, Zach and Brian all had their heads tipped back with a bottle to their lips, chugging a bottle of JD. Matt and Johnny were cheering them on, Matt to Zach and Johnny to Jimmy. I gave Emma a sly look at and snuck up behind Brian, who had his bottle to the sky. “Go Brian! C’mon Gates, drink it like a hungry baby drinks his mother’s milk!” I jumped back and watched as the bottle dropped from his mouth and back-washed Jack Daniel’s spewed from Brian’s mouth onto Matt and Zach. They both stopped drinking and I hunched over in laughter as Brian choked on his drink.
“Wh-what the f-fuck!?” Brian coughed, pounding on his chest as he tried to clear his lungs of the alcohol. “Y-you could have fucking ki-illed me!”
“That’s why you don’t face away from the door with your bottle to the sky.” I snickered as I played with his hair. He glared at me and I giggled innocently. Johnny scrunched his face as he wiped off some of the spittle from his arm.
“So where’s the food?” He asked. I gave him a weird look and he raised his eyebrows.
“I texted you and Emma to pick us up some T-Bell.” Johnny announced. I looked at Emma, who was standing a few feet away. She shrugged.
“I didn’t want to stop.” Emma said simply. I rolled my eyes and patted Brian on the back before checking my pocket for my wallet.
“Don’t worry guys, I got this.” I told them as I headed towards the door. “I’ll get our usuals and when I get back I want to hear about Jimmy and Matt’s adventures in Vegas.”
~
“So then this stripper came up to me while I was at the bar,” Jimmy spat, drunken laughter slurring every word. “And I mean she had huge jugs.” I shot him a look and he cleared his throat. “Sorry ma’am, forgot there were ladies here. Lemme rephrase. This exotic dancer with fairly large bosoms,” He paused to hold his hands out away from his chest to where the woman’s boobs probably were and mouthed huge boobs before continuing. “And she was all over me and while she was flirting she practically sat right onto Matt’s lap and he just had this look of pure horror and I just fucking burst into laughter and she thought I was laughing at her and left, but n-not w-without kicking him in the shin!”
“I’m surprised I don’t have a bruise,” Matt mumbled quietly as he rubbed his shin. I tried to hide my surprise and admiration to how well Jimmy and Matt were playing their parts of being in Vegas. I’m sure these were all true stories, but like I would probably be doing except opposite, Jimmy was replacing random people with Matt. Everyone chuckled and I joined in before Emma looked at me.
“So how was San Diego?” Emma wondered. I smiled and everyone turned their attention to me, except for Brian, Johnny, and Jimmy, who could barely keep their eyes open as they continued to drink all of Brian’s booze. I began talking about the day I got there and what I was doing for the first few days, and while I was going through I couldn’t help but notice Emma staring at me with narrowed eyes. I ended up ignoring her and just telling the funniest stories I could think of, replacing Matt with a random person.
-
“And we were standing right in the middle of the aisle and like the store cops come out and begin attacking the guy right next to me, accusing him of stealing,” I mused as I took a sip of Baileys. By this point, the only two that weren’t shit-faced besides me and Emma were Zach and Matt. But even then they were on their way out. Jimmy, Johnny and Brian were no longer listening, just chugging their drinks in silence. Emma was still staring at me oddly as I told my stories and I was trying not to glance at Matt when I mentioned a story that involved him. I stole a look at Matt that moment though, who was sitting next to me but a few feet away, and he was smirking at the memory of the story. “Like they were just feeling the shit out of this guy trying to find what he stole. They finally pulled a chocolate bar from his ass but he demanded to see the tape of him stealing it because he knew he didn’t. That got the cops stumped because that small store didn’t have cameras and he chewed them out until they let him leave scot-free with the chocolate bar.”
“What a lucky bastard.” Zach snickered. I nodded and shot another quick look at Matt, who was smiling against his bottle as he took a large gulp of JD. “Did they ever find out who put the chocolate bar in his pants?”
“Oh, I know who did,” I cackled, biting my lip as I laughed at myself. Matt’s face fell and he gave me an incredulous look.
“Why didn’t you tell him?” Matt accused. I snorted and sent him an innocent smile.
“It was this random ten year old following him. Like the kid was ninja rolling and making such a scene that I’m surprised the cops didn’t see him,” I informed them as I laughed to myself. “The guy was looking at coffee and the little boy just walked past and slipped it in the back of his pants. I tried not to fall on the floor laughing.”
“Well, you’re a bitch.” Matt snapped, his eyes narrowed. I grinned and nodded.
“So? It was hilarious.” I retorted. I looked at Emma who was staring intensely at me. I shifted uncomfortably under her gaze and she met my eyes.
“Something is different about you… But I can’t for the life of me put my finger on it.” Emma mumbled. I chewed on my lip and shrugged.
“It happens.” I said trying to get off the topic. I honestly didn’t know what she saw was different in me, but I didn’t want to find out. For some reason I was extremely nervous about what she was seeing, just because I thought that maybe it would somehow reveal Matt and I. It was quiet for a minute after that and I watched Zach and Matt as they took another drink from their bottles. Johnny, Jimmy and Brian were all passed out, leaning up against each other for support. I smiled a little when I heard Emma snap her fingers.
“The necklace.” She announced. I looked down at my chest and saw the silver locket resting still against my pale skin. I looked up at her, trying to mask my fear. I had completely forgotten to take it off. “It looks familiar.”
“I bought it at a small shop in San Diego.” I told her, trying to steer her from what I already knew she was going to say to me. I was in deep shit and I knew it.
“Doesn’t that look just like the one Sam gave you when you guys were dating?” Fuck. I heard a choking noise and a spitting noise from the side of me and looked over. Zach had stopped drinking in shock with spittle running down his chin and Matt had completely choked on his alcohol. He gave me an angry look and my eyes softened. I looked back at Emma and gulped.
“I guess it does.” I mumbled as I held the locket between my two fingers. “It’s different, though. More expensive.”
“That’s not the point.” Emma argued. I sighed and she raised her eyebrows. “The point is that you bought a necklace that looks nearly identical to the one your ex-doucheface bought you.”
“Perhaps it does look like the locket Sam got me but that’s not why I bought it,” I claimed roughly. “I loved the design of this. And it’s freaking silver.”
“So you just happened to see it in the window and didn’t think that it looked like Sam’s locket and wanted to buy it?” Emma pressed. I glared at her and shook my head.
“We’ll talk about this later, Emma.” I growled, flicking my eyes in Matt and Zach’s direction so she knew I didn’t want to talk about Sam in from of them. She sat up stiffly and nodded once. I sighed exasperatedly and took a long drink of Baileys.
*
“So spill,” Emma blurted as we sat down in Brian’s basement. Matt and Zach had just passed out after another hour of awkward silence and heavy drinking. Emma and I left bottles of water next to all of them before retreating to another room so we could talk. I didn’t want to talk though, because Emma had the whole situation all wrong.
“I already told you,” I snapped in irritation. “I was walking down a boardwalk in San Diego and saw the necklace and splurged. That’s it.”
“So it’s similarity to Sam’s locket has nothing to do with it?” Emma asked again. I shook my head.
“No.” I said bluntly. She gave me a look of disbelief and I groaned loudly. “Okay, so when I saw it maybe I noticed that it looked like my old locket. But this one is different and therefore has no relation to the other one.”
“That one looks identical.” Emma stated. I shook my head again.
“It’s not. This one is pure silver, has intricate carvings and it has a different saying on the back.” I explained. “In other words, it isn’t cheap.”
“I see what you’re trying to do here, Jessi.” Emma claimed. I raised my eyebrows at her.
“Is that so?” I scoffed. She nodded, her face suddenly calm.
“Yes. You’re in a bad state because Matt isn’t doing anything to be with you and Brian doesn’t fill your needs, so you’re running back to Sam.” Emma began. My eyebrows shot up.
“No, I’m really not.”
“Yes, you really are.” Emma corrected me. “Face it. Matt and Brian aren’t treating you the way you need to be treated. For that short period of time Sam treated you how you needed to be treated. So you’re running back to the thoughts of how Sam treated you and you bought the locket to feel like you still had that.”
“Interesting theory, but no.” I sighed. Emma stared blankly at me and I let out a deep breath. “Okay, fine. I do somewhat miss Sam-”
“See I knew it. Jessi let’s-”
“Wait, let me finish.” I interrupted her. She huffed but nodded. “Yes, I do somewhat miss Sam. But not him. I miss the loving feeling. That’s always something I’ll miss. Everyone experiences it.”
“Jessi you’ve always felt that way.” Emma inquired.
“You miss Ben too,” I snapped, getting irritated with her insinuations of missing Sam. Emma flinched a little and I narrowed my eyes. “You’ve always missed him. But do you miss him or do you miss the feeling you shared with him.”
“That’s different, though.” Emma argued. I shook my head.
“No it is not.”
“Yes it is. Because I have Johnny. You have no one.” Emma replied. My mouth dropped and she pursed her lips. “Okay, that sounded mean. But you know what I’m trying to say.”
“I do but that’s not the reason why I bought the necklace. Okay?” I said, trying to end the conversation. She nodded sullenly and I mimicked her. “Good.”
“So, speaking of boys, how have you and Brian been?” Emma asked, completely changing topic. I shrugged and rolled my eyes a little.
“Okay, I guess. I haven’t really seen him recently.” I told her. She gave me a look and I raised my eyebrows. “What?”
“Have you and him done anything?” Emma asked bluntly.
“Wha-what the fuck kind of question is that?” I said loudly, making a slightly disgusted face.
“The questions best friends ask.” Emma responded, grinning a little. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Her face dropped. “Seriously?” I shrugged and gave her a confused look. She let out a scoff. “Come on, Jessi! Are you really telling me you guys haven’t even experimented with hands?”
“Uh, no?” I stuttered. I didn’t know why this was so important, but I felt awkward talking about it. Especially since it wasn’t Brian that I had been involved with recently.
“Jessi, think about this.” Emma said. I looked at her and her face brightened up. “I’m dating a bassist and it feels like freaking heaven. Imagine Synyster Gates feeling you up from the inside.”
“Uh…” I didn’t know how to respond to that. I wasn’t going to lie and say I never thought about it, but now I felt like I didn’t want to under the circumstances. It was nothing against Brian because he had done nothing wrong. In fact, he had done everything right. I just didn’t think I’d feel comfortable doing that, even if I wasn’t with Matt. “I’ll… consider that. Now let’s go to bed, I’m tired.”
Emma nodded and we trudged up the stairs to the living room. It seemed that while we were down in the basement all of the boys had woken up long enough to chug their bottles and spread themselves out. Emma went over to where Jimmy and Johnny were laying and snuggled against Johnny and I just stood there. Obviously I probably shouldn’t pick Matt while Emma was awake because even though she knows I have feelings for him it’d still look back because he’s taken. I didn’t want to lay with Brian because now I felt awkward looking at him and I’m sure Matt would get a little upset, and Jimmy was laying too close to Emma and Johnny for me to squeeze in. I considered laying on the couch when Zach woke up and ushered me over to him. I laid down and let him embrace overtake me, quickly allowing me to fall asleep.

Notes