Two Vibrant Hearts
Chapter Seventy
It was silent in the apartment. It was near eleven and Emma was sleeping in while I was working on something in the living room. Precision wasn’t my strong suit, and neither was softly swearing, so this job was nearly impossible to do with Emma sleeping only a few yards away from me.
“Fuck.” I squeaked as I stabbed myself with the needle yet again. I shook out my hand and sucked off the small prick of blood coming from my finger. I heard movement come from the other room and seconds later Emma appeared in the doorway. I gave her a guilty smile and she just stared lazily at me.
“What are you doing?” Emma asked, her voice low and full of sleepiness. I smiled a little before returning to my work, closing one eye to get more focused.
“Sewing up my favorite jeans.” I replied as I strung the sewing needle through the fabric. Emma scoffed a little and I glanced up at her.
“You mean the ones that you ripped months ago?” Emma mocked. I nodded and laughed a little.
“Yeah. I cleaned them after I came home that night but then I threw them into the back of the closet. I just found them this morning and decided to wear them today once I fix the knee up.” I explained as I got to the very end of the rip. I cut the thread and tied it before holding up my pants for Emma to see. “Taa-daa!”
“You should have just left them ripped.” Emma commented as she went back into the bedroom. I pouted and looked at my sewing. It wasn’t that bad, but you could tell that I had to sew up a rip. “So why are you wearing your favorite jeans today?”
“Well I was thinking maybe you and I can go out to this diner for lunch today.” I informed her. Emma walked out in her bra, holding a pile of clothes that she was going to wear today.
“What diner?” Emma questioned. I shrugged and stood up.
“I don’t remember the name, but it’s the diner that the guys took me to the morning after the concert.” I exclaimed. Emma nodded and went back into the bedroom and I followed her.
“Cool. But I need to shower.” Emma told me. I nodded and went to the closet to find a shirt.
“I do too, but you can go first.” I announced. Emma nodded again and headed towards the bathroom with her pile of clothes and her phone in hand. “Don’t take forever though; I want to have lunch there, not early dinner.”
“No promises,” Emma sang as she shut the door. I laughed and threw my jeans onto the bed before rummaging through my fifty shirts that I owned. I realized that I didn’t even wear half of the shirts I had anymore, so before I took Emma out to lunch I’d stop by the goodwill. I picked out a purple and black plaid shirt and laid it with my jeans before returning to my closet and pulling out shirts I didn’t want. About 80% of them were too small for me, and the other 20% I just thought were too young for me. Of course, I’m only 21, coming up close on 22, but a few of my shirts were ones that I had from when I was 18. After I cleaned out all of the shirts I didn’t want anymore, I went into the kitchen and pulled out a trash bag and went back into the bedroom. In the midst of shoving all the unwanted shirts into the bag, Emma came out with a brush in hand, giving me an odd look. “What are you doing?”
“We’re gonna stop by goodwill before lunch and drop off all the clothes that are too small for us or that we don’t want anymore.” I informed her. She nodded and went towards her dresser, no longer thinking of combing out her dripping hair. “Effing-A, Emma, why can’t you dry your hair like normal people?”
“Since when am I a normal people?” Emma retorted. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my clothes before storming into the bathroom. I quickly stripped down and jumped into the shower, squealing a little when the cool water hit my back. I stood under the water for what seemed like eternity, just letting the cool water run down my back.
I felt like such an asshole about what I did to Matt. I didn’t get a chance to talk to him and apologize for doing such a thing in front of him since Brian had me in a death grip for the rest of the night, thanking me repeatedly for being so generous. I couldn’t say that I regretted doing that with Brian, but I did regret making Matt watch. After all, I told him I’d try not to be so sexual with Brian anymore, and obviously I failed completely. I decided I wasn’t going to tell Matt about my gift to Brian, since that would fuck everything up more than it already was. I was still in a clusterfuck, and I wish I knew how to get myself out since I dug myself deep into it before I realized how bad the idea was. Damn it, Jimmy.
I pulled myself from my thoughts and began washing my hair, wanting to get to the diner before mid-afternoon. I quickly washed up my body and face before stumbling out of the shower sloppily. I hastily dried my body off before wrapping my hair in the towel. I pulled my clothes on quickly, grumbling quietly when my shirt stuck to my damp back. I took my hair out of the towel and brushed it out and smiled to myself before leaving the bathroom. I entered my bedroom to see Emma tying up a second bag of clothes.
“Wow, we really need to go shopping.” I announced as I looked at her agape dresser drawers. Both looked nearly empty, just like my closet. Emma took the liberty to throw in some of her old jeans, whereas I decided to keep all of mine. It was damn near impossible for me to find jeans that fit me correctly, so whether or not they were stained or ripped I was going to keep them. Emma chuckled and stared down at our bags.
“You’re telling me. I think my underwear drawer and my Avenged drawer are the only two drawers I didn’t touch.” Emma informed me. I lightly laughed before flipping my head down and tousling my hair. I wasn’t going to wait for it to dry, so I just shook it out a little before flipping my head back up. Emma walked to the closet and grabbed out two pairs of converse for me and her before sitting down on the bed. “Are you going to put make up on?”
“A little. Probably just eye shadow and mascara.” I replied. She nodded and I returned it before going back into the bathroom. I did as said and put on some dark brown eye shadow and my black water-resistant mascara before skipping over to the bed. I slid on my socks and shoes and tied them up before standing. Emma was grabbing her phone and I mimicked her, as well as grabbing my wallet. “I’m paying today.”
“I was going to make you pay anyway.” Emma shrugged. I stuck my tongue out at her and she retorted with a noise before going for the bags. “Grab one. We taking your car?”
“Nah, I wanna drive the Escalade.” I replied. Emma gave me a weird look for a second before rolling her eyes and turning towards the door. I grabbed her keys with my free hand and followed Emma out, not bothering to lock our apartment. I kept the bag of clothes close to my side, the bottom resting on my foot as I carried it down. I laughed to myself as I watched Emma struggle to keep hers from scratching against the ground. “Dude, you really need to work out.”
“Shut up.” Emma snapped. I giggled and she glared before continuing her trek down the final flight of stairs. I was mere seconds behind her, and when I hit the ground floor I pulled the bag of clothes up more tightly so my hand was holding it from the bottom. We walked to Emma’s car and threw the clothes in the back before getting into our seats. I started the car and quickly turned up the radio, for some reason not really in the mood to talk. Maybe because if I talked to Emma in the car, I’d run out of things to say at the diner and then the only thing I’d have to talk about is my secret relationship. And I would not be telling Emma about that any time soon.
I pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards the exit onto the interstate, but I stopped. I was having issues remembering how to get there. The best idea was to drive to Matt’s and go from there. Of course, that’s going to look odd, but that’s the only way I could truly retrace our steps. I took a right instead of a left towards Matt’s house, but Emma said nothing. She stayed quiet, which I found kind of odd. I decided not to question, though, and just continued on my trek. I got to Matt’s and quickly turned the car around before he or Gayle noticed that I was in front of his house. After I turned around the route came right back to me and I sped down the neighborhood street. I got onto the interstate and spaced out as I relived that day.
*
“We don’t serve drinks to minors, sorry.” She replied apathetically. I scowled and pulled out my ID and gave it to her. She blushed and quietly apologized before scurrying off. I growled and all the guys laughed at me.
“I am sick of this town already.” I grumbled. Zach and Brian, who were sitting on each side of me, rubbed my back and laughed.
“Well you do look only eighteen at best.” Johnny chuckled. I raised my eyebrows and smirked.
“I’m the same height as you. Should you really be talking?” I retorted. Johnny scowled and laughter erupted again. We all made small talk until our drinks came out, in which we then ordered our food. I stayed silent for most of the time, just staring in awe at all of them. I could not believe I was surrounded by 4/5 of Avenged Sevenfold; and I couldn’t believe that they all liked me. I was absentmindedly staring at Brian while I was thinking this, and he noticed.
“Do I have something on my face or am I just too sexy to ignore?” He asked, smirking. I pursed my lips, trying not to smile. I looked back at everyone and they were all staring at me, smiling.
“You all are too sexy to ignore.” I answered, blushing a little. “I’m seriously having troubles understanding that this is really happening. That I’m hanging out with A7X and they all think I’m cute. In my high school, all the guys did was poke me with a stick to see if I bit.” That caused all of them to laugh and Zach wrapped his arm around my neck. My breathing stopped and I stared at him. He smiled kindly and pulled me into a hug.
“I’ve only known you for a day and I feel like you’re my sister.” He whispered. I nodded in agreement and he smiled. He pulled away and smiled widely. “Give me your phone.” I handed him my phone and he added himself into my contacts. He handed it to Johnny, who did the same. As they passed the phone around, Zach stared at me. “So now, if you’re having any problems, you can always call one of us.” I smiled and nodded. Brian handed me back my phone and I looked at what they put themselves in as: Zacky, Johnny, Jimbo, and…
“Sex God? Really Bri?”
*
“Jessi?” Emma said, interrupting my thoughts. I shook away the memory and glanced over at her. She was staring at me with bored yet curious eyes.
“Huh?” I mumbled, switching my glances between the road and her.
“The turn for the goodwill is coming up.” Emma explained in a slow voice. She pointed off towards the distance and I squinted to see where she was pointing. My eyes widened back to normal as I locked eyes on a grey concrete building with the “Goodwill” sign on the side. I nodded and glanced at her.
“Thanks.” I mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed. I could feel Emma’s curious staring burning into the side of my face, but she remained silent. Her silence was worrying me, since Emma nearly always had something to say, but I didn’t know whether to talk to her or not. Instead, I turned the music up a little more and got on the turn for the goodwill. I drove down the little path and examined the shop, wondering where to bring the bags of our clothes. I drove around back to see a woman in her mid-twenties standing in front of an open garage with piles of garbage bags. The car crept to a stop and I put it in park before jumping out. Rounding the front, I heaved out the bags and dragged them to the woman.
“Let me guess, closet cleaning?” The woman chuckled. I laughed lightly and nodded as I lifted one towards her. I groaned as my muscles began burning, unable to take the baffling weight of thin pieces of fabric.
“Yeah. Both me and my roommate. I guess it’s time to go on a shopping spree,” I commented, smiling at her kindly. She chuckled and nodded.
“I understand. I clean out my closet at least twice a year. At least the woman’s section never lacks clothes.” She mused, laughing to herself. I laughed along with her before waving. “Thank you for the donation.”
“No problem.” I replied happily as I turned and headed back to the car. I slid in smoothly and started up the car, flinching slightly at the quick blast of music. I turned it down a bit and began driving, nearly forgetting about Emma until she suddenly said,
“You know, people who jump at loud noises have a guilty conscience.” I nearly stopped the car. Why in the world would she say that? Does she know about Matt and I and is giving me the silent treatment about not telling her? I glanced quickly over in her direction, but half-expecting to see Emma looking at me accusingly, she was just staring out of her window with a bored expression on her face. I took a deep breath and released it through my nose. Emma was always a little fact machine, but usually her facts were about Avenged Sevenfold.
“Where’d you hear that?” I questioned, trying to act normal. I sped up a little, anxious to go the diner, and got into the correct lane. I tapped my fingers against the wheel, trying to keep myself in the real world. All I wanted to do was remember when I had Matt—or at least I was closer to having him than I do now.
“I remember that Sam told me that sophomore year.” Emma commented. I flinched a little, my heart aching slightly. Sam was the boyfriend that I wasted my high school years on. I knew him for exactly one day before he asked me out, and I was just too lonely to realize it was a stupid idea to say yes. Our first year together was rough, our second year had its high and low tides, our third year was perfect, but then junior year came along. It was pretty good for the first little bit, but then I began pushing people away on account of my parents divorcing and my moving away senior year. I didn’t mean to, but Sam hated it. He went on a rampage and ended up breaking up with me. I begged him not to, but his mind was made up. Moving helped me forget, but it’s hard to get over an almost-four-year relationship. Even now it still kind of hurts to think about Sam, especially because of all the bullshit I put up with to stay with him.
“He was always a ball of random facts,” I sighed, my voice wavering a little. “I still remember how he would stop me in the hallways and tell me random facts before he asked me out.”
“That asshole.” Emma breathed. I nodded, blinking away a few tears. “His loss. Now real rock stars have you as their girl.”
“Yeah.” I mumbled, pushing down my feelings. Thankfully, the exit for the diner came up and I got into the turning lane with relief. Emma went back to her silent stage, and I wanted to ask her about it, but I refrained. If Emma wanted to talk about it, she’d talk about it. I sent her a worried glance, but she was still just looking out the window with a blank stare. I let out a silent sigh before turning and driving towards the diner, which was in clear view now. I pulled into the parking lot moments later and threw the car into park. The car jolted a little, and Emma’s head snapped towards me. I smiled innocently and she glared at me a little before going emotionless and getting out of the car. Okay, now it was bothering me.
I hesitantly pushed myself out of the car and locked it before walking towards the door. Emma was waiting for me, her body language just as emotionless as her face. I opened the door and we walked in, immediately greeted by a very happy waitress. I walked over to the booth I sat in with the guys, my body facing towards the door. Emma slid in the other side and we both ordered our drinks.
“Okay, dude, you’re bothering me.” I said bluntly. Emma raised her eyebrows and I stared at her accusingly.
“What did I do?” Emma asked. I sighed exasperatedly, just wanting to have normal conversation with my friend. She has to tell me what’s wrong, because I’m her nosey and annoying best friend that she loves and hates at the same time.
“Nothing!” I nearly screamed. Her eyebrows shot all the way up and she gave me a look of disbelief.
“So you’re mad because I’m… doing nothing?” Emma repeated. I nodded furiously and she pursed her lips.
“It’s the way you’re doing nothing is bothering me.” I added. Emma’s eyes lit with confusion and I sighed. “You’re being extremely anti-social today, like more than usual.” Emma continued to stare with confusion and I let out a small breath. “Like you’re being ‘something is wrong’ quiet.”
“Nothing’s wrong, Jessi.” Emma announced. I raised an eyebrow and she shrugged. “I’m just not in a very talkative mood today.”
“So you’re not keeping anything from me?” I inquired, my voice raising a little. Just because I’m keeping something from her doesn’t mean she can keep something from me.
“Nope.” Emma answered, popping her ‘p’. I let out a breath of relief and she smiled. The waitress returned with our drinks and we ordered our food, the hunger setting in after we got rid of the awkward tension. It took a few minutes for our food to come out, and in that time we stayed silent. I didn’t know what to talk about, and apparently neither did Emma. I was okay with it though, because our friendship was usually full of silence as we sat together. Our food came out and I smiled at my order, the same food I got when I came here last time. Emma noticed my mood brightening and swallowed her bite before wiping her mouth and looking at me. “So you never did tell me what happened at the concert and afterwards.”
“Seriously?” I asked, baffled. Emma nodded and pursed her lips.
“Seriously. Like all I heard was that you were saved from rape and then they took you home.” Emma added.
“Oh damn. I’m sorry.” I apologized. Emma put her hand up and I nodded. “Okay, so I was at the front of the concert, right on the bar. They were in the middle of Bat Country, and Matt looked down at me and smiled.” I grinned widely at the reminiscence, and Emma gaped. “I know. Like he smiled right at me. I had my hand reached out towards him and I could’ve sworn that he was reaching out for me when I was pulled away by a hand. It was like some late-thirties-mid-forties dude. He kissed me and then tried to rip open my shirt but Matt stopped the whole concert just to stop him.”
“I can see why you fell for him.” Emma acknowledged. I let out a bitter sweet sigh and nodded. “I mean besides the fact that he is a hot rock star.”
“Yeah.” I agreed. “But anyway, Jimmy pulled me on stage and took me to the back and told me to wait for them until the concert was over. Once they came back they brought me into the back room and began asking me questions. But I was so starstruck that I could barely answer them. Matt decided that we should go back to his house, which is why I called you to see if you were gone.” At that, Emma grimaced, which made me smirk. Her loss. “They took me back to Matt’s and I tripped over myself, hence why I ripped my favorite jeans and killed my knees. Matt found me and cleaned me up; we talked about how embarrassing my underwear choices were and then went to sleep.”
“So where does this diner come in?” Emma interrupted. I snickered to myself and smiled widely.
“I’m coming up to that. So anyway, in the morning the guys were all like ‘let’s play a prank on Matt’ so we got Matt to kiss Brian’s neck because he thought it was me, and we all bolted to get away from Matt. They took me here for lunch. It was bitterly hilarious because I ordered a beer and our waitress was like—” I cut myself off when my eyes wondered onto a couple across the diner. I had noticed them when I first came in, but I didn’t pay too much attention. But as I was talking, my eyes caught the man’s arm and the extremely familiar pattern lining up all the way to his shoulder. Emma tapped my hand but I didn’t look to her as I continued to stare at the sight in front of me.
“Jessi, what are you—” Emma also cut off and I tore my gaze for a split second to see that Emma had also noticed what I was so intrigued with. “Oh wow…” Just feet away from us were Matt and Gayle. But they weren’t just being normal, oh no, they were on a date. They were giggling and feeding each other fries and throwing pieces of lettuce at each other. I felt sick—no, I felt angry. My hands balled into fists and my eyes started getting blurry.
“That son of a bitch.” I spat, angry tears threatening to fall over my eyes. I saw Emma’s eyes widen as she stared at me in surprise.
“Why are you so pissed? I mean I know you like him and all but you aren’t even dating.” Emma questioned bluntly. If you could count on Emma for one thing, it’s not having tons of sympathy for you when a boy fucks you over.
“Yes I—” I stopped myself before I said. Even though I was technically dating Matt, it wasn’t officially. And Emma had no clue that I am even secretly dating Matt. Or was. I took a deep breath and looked at her with hard eyes. “I should be.” I let out a furious sigh before standing up. “Let’s go home.” Emma didn’t have to be told twice; she just shoved a few fries in her mouth and stood up. I slammed money on the table and began walking towards the door, forcing myself not to make a scene or be noticed as I got closer to their table, which was painfully right next to the door. But, nature wouldn’t let me off easy, and just as I had months ago, I tripped over my own feet and landed. Knee first. On the hard tile. Right in front of Matt and Gayle. “Son of a bitch!”
“Kid?” I heard from behind me. I ignored the asshole’s sound of surprise as I sat on my butt, crying out in agony as the pain shot through my knees. I inspected my knees and, like last time, my jeans and the skin of my knees were ripped right open. So much for fixing my pants. I blinked back tears and threw my harshest stare I have ever made at Matt. He was staring at me with my mouth open, his soft hazel eyes full of worry and guilt.
“Sanders, how is it that whenever I’m wearing my favorite jeans around you, I always end up ruining them?” I laughed, my voice harsh and full of anger. Matt stared at me dumbfounded as I gave him a ‘you dun fucked up’ look. He reached out to help me but I shoved his hand away and pushed myself off the floor, tears breaking the line as the pain reached up my body. I gently dusted myself off since my hands were scraped too, sent one more hate-filled glance at Matt before limping out the door, not bothering to check for Emma to follow me. Along with my broken skin came a broken heart, and I forced myself to hold in the tears as I sent Jimmy a text.
Staying over tonight. Broken skin and broken heart. -K
“Fuck.” I squeaked as I stabbed myself with the needle yet again. I shook out my hand and sucked off the small prick of blood coming from my finger. I heard movement come from the other room and seconds later Emma appeared in the doorway. I gave her a guilty smile and she just stared lazily at me.
“What are you doing?” Emma asked, her voice low and full of sleepiness. I smiled a little before returning to my work, closing one eye to get more focused.
“Sewing up my favorite jeans.” I replied as I strung the sewing needle through the fabric. Emma scoffed a little and I glanced up at her.
“You mean the ones that you ripped months ago?” Emma mocked. I nodded and laughed a little.
“Yeah. I cleaned them after I came home that night but then I threw them into the back of the closet. I just found them this morning and decided to wear them today once I fix the knee up.” I explained as I got to the very end of the rip. I cut the thread and tied it before holding up my pants for Emma to see. “Taa-daa!”
“You should have just left them ripped.” Emma commented as she went back into the bedroom. I pouted and looked at my sewing. It wasn’t that bad, but you could tell that I had to sew up a rip. “So why are you wearing your favorite jeans today?”
“Well I was thinking maybe you and I can go out to this diner for lunch today.” I informed her. Emma walked out in her bra, holding a pile of clothes that she was going to wear today.
“What diner?” Emma questioned. I shrugged and stood up.
“I don’t remember the name, but it’s the diner that the guys took me to the morning after the concert.” I exclaimed. Emma nodded and went back into the bedroom and I followed her.
“Cool. But I need to shower.” Emma told me. I nodded and went to the closet to find a shirt.
“I do too, but you can go first.” I announced. Emma nodded again and headed towards the bathroom with her pile of clothes and her phone in hand. “Don’t take forever though; I want to have lunch there, not early dinner.”
“No promises,” Emma sang as she shut the door. I laughed and threw my jeans onto the bed before rummaging through my fifty shirts that I owned. I realized that I didn’t even wear half of the shirts I had anymore, so before I took Emma out to lunch I’d stop by the goodwill. I picked out a purple and black plaid shirt and laid it with my jeans before returning to my closet and pulling out shirts I didn’t want. About 80% of them were too small for me, and the other 20% I just thought were too young for me. Of course, I’m only 21, coming up close on 22, but a few of my shirts were ones that I had from when I was 18. After I cleaned out all of the shirts I didn’t want anymore, I went into the kitchen and pulled out a trash bag and went back into the bedroom. In the midst of shoving all the unwanted shirts into the bag, Emma came out with a brush in hand, giving me an odd look. “What are you doing?”
“We’re gonna stop by goodwill before lunch and drop off all the clothes that are too small for us or that we don’t want anymore.” I informed her. She nodded and went towards her dresser, no longer thinking of combing out her dripping hair. “Effing-A, Emma, why can’t you dry your hair like normal people?”
“Since when am I a normal people?” Emma retorted. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my clothes before storming into the bathroom. I quickly stripped down and jumped into the shower, squealing a little when the cool water hit my back. I stood under the water for what seemed like eternity, just letting the cool water run down my back.
I felt like such an asshole about what I did to Matt. I didn’t get a chance to talk to him and apologize for doing such a thing in front of him since Brian had me in a death grip for the rest of the night, thanking me repeatedly for being so generous. I couldn’t say that I regretted doing that with Brian, but I did regret making Matt watch. After all, I told him I’d try not to be so sexual with Brian anymore, and obviously I failed completely. I decided I wasn’t going to tell Matt about my gift to Brian, since that would fuck everything up more than it already was. I was still in a clusterfuck, and I wish I knew how to get myself out since I dug myself deep into it before I realized how bad the idea was. Damn it, Jimmy.
I pulled myself from my thoughts and began washing my hair, wanting to get to the diner before mid-afternoon. I quickly washed up my body and face before stumbling out of the shower sloppily. I hastily dried my body off before wrapping my hair in the towel. I pulled my clothes on quickly, grumbling quietly when my shirt stuck to my damp back. I took my hair out of the towel and brushed it out and smiled to myself before leaving the bathroom. I entered my bedroom to see Emma tying up a second bag of clothes.
“Wow, we really need to go shopping.” I announced as I looked at her agape dresser drawers. Both looked nearly empty, just like my closet. Emma took the liberty to throw in some of her old jeans, whereas I decided to keep all of mine. It was damn near impossible for me to find jeans that fit me correctly, so whether or not they were stained or ripped I was going to keep them. Emma chuckled and stared down at our bags.
“You’re telling me. I think my underwear drawer and my Avenged drawer are the only two drawers I didn’t touch.” Emma informed me. I lightly laughed before flipping my head down and tousling my hair. I wasn’t going to wait for it to dry, so I just shook it out a little before flipping my head back up. Emma walked to the closet and grabbed out two pairs of converse for me and her before sitting down on the bed. “Are you going to put make up on?”
“A little. Probably just eye shadow and mascara.” I replied. She nodded and I returned it before going back into the bathroom. I did as said and put on some dark brown eye shadow and my black water-resistant mascara before skipping over to the bed. I slid on my socks and shoes and tied them up before standing. Emma was grabbing her phone and I mimicked her, as well as grabbing my wallet. “I’m paying today.”
“I was going to make you pay anyway.” Emma shrugged. I stuck my tongue out at her and she retorted with a noise before going for the bags. “Grab one. We taking your car?”
“Nah, I wanna drive the Escalade.” I replied. Emma gave me a weird look for a second before rolling her eyes and turning towards the door. I grabbed her keys with my free hand and followed Emma out, not bothering to lock our apartment. I kept the bag of clothes close to my side, the bottom resting on my foot as I carried it down. I laughed to myself as I watched Emma struggle to keep hers from scratching against the ground. “Dude, you really need to work out.”
“Shut up.” Emma snapped. I giggled and she glared before continuing her trek down the final flight of stairs. I was mere seconds behind her, and when I hit the ground floor I pulled the bag of clothes up more tightly so my hand was holding it from the bottom. We walked to Emma’s car and threw the clothes in the back before getting into our seats. I started the car and quickly turned up the radio, for some reason not really in the mood to talk. Maybe because if I talked to Emma in the car, I’d run out of things to say at the diner and then the only thing I’d have to talk about is my secret relationship. And I would not be telling Emma about that any time soon.
I pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards the exit onto the interstate, but I stopped. I was having issues remembering how to get there. The best idea was to drive to Matt’s and go from there. Of course, that’s going to look odd, but that’s the only way I could truly retrace our steps. I took a right instead of a left towards Matt’s house, but Emma said nothing. She stayed quiet, which I found kind of odd. I decided not to question, though, and just continued on my trek. I got to Matt’s and quickly turned the car around before he or Gayle noticed that I was in front of his house. After I turned around the route came right back to me and I sped down the neighborhood street. I got onto the interstate and spaced out as I relived that day.
*
“We don’t serve drinks to minors, sorry.” She replied apathetically. I scowled and pulled out my ID and gave it to her. She blushed and quietly apologized before scurrying off. I growled and all the guys laughed at me.
“I am sick of this town already.” I grumbled. Zach and Brian, who were sitting on each side of me, rubbed my back and laughed.
“Well you do look only eighteen at best.” Johnny chuckled. I raised my eyebrows and smirked.
“I’m the same height as you. Should you really be talking?” I retorted. Johnny scowled and laughter erupted again. We all made small talk until our drinks came out, in which we then ordered our food. I stayed silent for most of the time, just staring in awe at all of them. I could not believe I was surrounded by 4/5 of Avenged Sevenfold; and I couldn’t believe that they all liked me. I was absentmindedly staring at Brian while I was thinking this, and he noticed.
“Do I have something on my face or am I just too sexy to ignore?” He asked, smirking. I pursed my lips, trying not to smile. I looked back at everyone and they were all staring at me, smiling.
“You all are too sexy to ignore.” I answered, blushing a little. “I’m seriously having troubles understanding that this is really happening. That I’m hanging out with A7X and they all think I’m cute. In my high school, all the guys did was poke me with a stick to see if I bit.” That caused all of them to laugh and Zach wrapped his arm around my neck. My breathing stopped and I stared at him. He smiled kindly and pulled me into a hug.
“I’ve only known you for a day and I feel like you’re my sister.” He whispered. I nodded in agreement and he smiled. He pulled away and smiled widely. “Give me your phone.” I handed him my phone and he added himself into my contacts. He handed it to Johnny, who did the same. As they passed the phone around, Zach stared at me. “So now, if you’re having any problems, you can always call one of us.” I smiled and nodded. Brian handed me back my phone and I looked at what they put themselves in as: Zacky, Johnny, Jimbo, and…
“Sex God? Really Bri?”
*
“Jessi?” Emma said, interrupting my thoughts. I shook away the memory and glanced over at her. She was staring at me with bored yet curious eyes.
“Huh?” I mumbled, switching my glances between the road and her.
“The turn for the goodwill is coming up.” Emma explained in a slow voice. She pointed off towards the distance and I squinted to see where she was pointing. My eyes widened back to normal as I locked eyes on a grey concrete building with the “Goodwill” sign on the side. I nodded and glanced at her.
“Thanks.” I mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed. I could feel Emma’s curious staring burning into the side of my face, but she remained silent. Her silence was worrying me, since Emma nearly always had something to say, but I didn’t know whether to talk to her or not. Instead, I turned the music up a little more and got on the turn for the goodwill. I drove down the little path and examined the shop, wondering where to bring the bags of our clothes. I drove around back to see a woman in her mid-twenties standing in front of an open garage with piles of garbage bags. The car crept to a stop and I put it in park before jumping out. Rounding the front, I heaved out the bags and dragged them to the woman.
“Let me guess, closet cleaning?” The woman chuckled. I laughed lightly and nodded as I lifted one towards her. I groaned as my muscles began burning, unable to take the baffling weight of thin pieces of fabric.
“Yeah. Both me and my roommate. I guess it’s time to go on a shopping spree,” I commented, smiling at her kindly. She chuckled and nodded.
“I understand. I clean out my closet at least twice a year. At least the woman’s section never lacks clothes.” She mused, laughing to herself. I laughed along with her before waving. “Thank you for the donation.”
“No problem.” I replied happily as I turned and headed back to the car. I slid in smoothly and started up the car, flinching slightly at the quick blast of music. I turned it down a bit and began driving, nearly forgetting about Emma until she suddenly said,
“You know, people who jump at loud noises have a guilty conscience.” I nearly stopped the car. Why in the world would she say that? Does she know about Matt and I and is giving me the silent treatment about not telling her? I glanced quickly over in her direction, but half-expecting to see Emma looking at me accusingly, she was just staring out of her window with a bored expression on her face. I took a deep breath and released it through my nose. Emma was always a little fact machine, but usually her facts were about Avenged Sevenfold.
“Where’d you hear that?” I questioned, trying to act normal. I sped up a little, anxious to go the diner, and got into the correct lane. I tapped my fingers against the wheel, trying to keep myself in the real world. All I wanted to do was remember when I had Matt—or at least I was closer to having him than I do now.
“I remember that Sam told me that sophomore year.” Emma commented. I flinched a little, my heart aching slightly. Sam was the boyfriend that I wasted my high school years on. I knew him for exactly one day before he asked me out, and I was just too lonely to realize it was a stupid idea to say yes. Our first year together was rough, our second year had its high and low tides, our third year was perfect, but then junior year came along. It was pretty good for the first little bit, but then I began pushing people away on account of my parents divorcing and my moving away senior year. I didn’t mean to, but Sam hated it. He went on a rampage and ended up breaking up with me. I begged him not to, but his mind was made up. Moving helped me forget, but it’s hard to get over an almost-four-year relationship. Even now it still kind of hurts to think about Sam, especially because of all the bullshit I put up with to stay with him.
“He was always a ball of random facts,” I sighed, my voice wavering a little. “I still remember how he would stop me in the hallways and tell me random facts before he asked me out.”
“That asshole.” Emma breathed. I nodded, blinking away a few tears. “His loss. Now real rock stars have you as their girl.”
“Yeah.” I mumbled, pushing down my feelings. Thankfully, the exit for the diner came up and I got into the turning lane with relief. Emma went back to her silent stage, and I wanted to ask her about it, but I refrained. If Emma wanted to talk about it, she’d talk about it. I sent her a worried glance, but she was still just looking out the window with a blank stare. I let out a silent sigh before turning and driving towards the diner, which was in clear view now. I pulled into the parking lot moments later and threw the car into park. The car jolted a little, and Emma’s head snapped towards me. I smiled innocently and she glared at me a little before going emotionless and getting out of the car. Okay, now it was bothering me.
I hesitantly pushed myself out of the car and locked it before walking towards the door. Emma was waiting for me, her body language just as emotionless as her face. I opened the door and we walked in, immediately greeted by a very happy waitress. I walked over to the booth I sat in with the guys, my body facing towards the door. Emma slid in the other side and we both ordered our drinks.
“Okay, dude, you’re bothering me.” I said bluntly. Emma raised her eyebrows and I stared at her accusingly.
“What did I do?” Emma asked. I sighed exasperatedly, just wanting to have normal conversation with my friend. She has to tell me what’s wrong, because I’m her nosey and annoying best friend that she loves and hates at the same time.
“Nothing!” I nearly screamed. Her eyebrows shot all the way up and she gave me a look of disbelief.
“So you’re mad because I’m… doing nothing?” Emma repeated. I nodded furiously and she pursed her lips.
“It’s the way you’re doing nothing is bothering me.” I added. Emma’s eyes lit with confusion and I sighed. “You’re being extremely anti-social today, like more than usual.” Emma continued to stare with confusion and I let out a small breath. “Like you’re being ‘something is wrong’ quiet.”
“Nothing’s wrong, Jessi.” Emma announced. I raised an eyebrow and she shrugged. “I’m just not in a very talkative mood today.”
“So you’re not keeping anything from me?” I inquired, my voice raising a little. Just because I’m keeping something from her doesn’t mean she can keep something from me.
“Nope.” Emma answered, popping her ‘p’. I let out a breath of relief and she smiled. The waitress returned with our drinks and we ordered our food, the hunger setting in after we got rid of the awkward tension. It took a few minutes for our food to come out, and in that time we stayed silent. I didn’t know what to talk about, and apparently neither did Emma. I was okay with it though, because our friendship was usually full of silence as we sat together. Our food came out and I smiled at my order, the same food I got when I came here last time. Emma noticed my mood brightening and swallowed her bite before wiping her mouth and looking at me. “So you never did tell me what happened at the concert and afterwards.”
“Seriously?” I asked, baffled. Emma nodded and pursed her lips.
“Seriously. Like all I heard was that you were saved from rape and then they took you home.” Emma added.
“Oh damn. I’m sorry.” I apologized. Emma put her hand up and I nodded. “Okay, so I was at the front of the concert, right on the bar. They were in the middle of Bat Country, and Matt looked down at me and smiled.” I grinned widely at the reminiscence, and Emma gaped. “I know. Like he smiled right at me. I had my hand reached out towards him and I could’ve sworn that he was reaching out for me when I was pulled away by a hand. It was like some late-thirties-mid-forties dude. He kissed me and then tried to rip open my shirt but Matt stopped the whole concert just to stop him.”
“I can see why you fell for him.” Emma acknowledged. I let out a bitter sweet sigh and nodded. “I mean besides the fact that he is a hot rock star.”
“Yeah.” I agreed. “But anyway, Jimmy pulled me on stage and took me to the back and told me to wait for them until the concert was over. Once they came back they brought me into the back room and began asking me questions. But I was so starstruck that I could barely answer them. Matt decided that we should go back to his house, which is why I called you to see if you were gone.” At that, Emma grimaced, which made me smirk. Her loss. “They took me back to Matt’s and I tripped over myself, hence why I ripped my favorite jeans and killed my knees. Matt found me and cleaned me up; we talked about how embarrassing my underwear choices were and then went to sleep.”
“So where does this diner come in?” Emma interrupted. I snickered to myself and smiled widely.
“I’m coming up to that. So anyway, in the morning the guys were all like ‘let’s play a prank on Matt’ so we got Matt to kiss Brian’s neck because he thought it was me, and we all bolted to get away from Matt. They took me here for lunch. It was bitterly hilarious because I ordered a beer and our waitress was like—” I cut myself off when my eyes wondered onto a couple across the diner. I had noticed them when I first came in, but I didn’t pay too much attention. But as I was talking, my eyes caught the man’s arm and the extremely familiar pattern lining up all the way to his shoulder. Emma tapped my hand but I didn’t look to her as I continued to stare at the sight in front of me.
“Jessi, what are you—” Emma also cut off and I tore my gaze for a split second to see that Emma had also noticed what I was so intrigued with. “Oh wow…” Just feet away from us were Matt and Gayle. But they weren’t just being normal, oh no, they were on a date. They were giggling and feeding each other fries and throwing pieces of lettuce at each other. I felt sick—no, I felt angry. My hands balled into fists and my eyes started getting blurry.
“That son of a bitch.” I spat, angry tears threatening to fall over my eyes. I saw Emma’s eyes widen as she stared at me in surprise.
“Why are you so pissed? I mean I know you like him and all but you aren’t even dating.” Emma questioned bluntly. If you could count on Emma for one thing, it’s not having tons of sympathy for you when a boy fucks you over.
“Yes I—” I stopped myself before I said. Even though I was technically dating Matt, it wasn’t officially. And Emma had no clue that I am even secretly dating Matt. Or was. I took a deep breath and looked at her with hard eyes. “I should be.” I let out a furious sigh before standing up. “Let’s go home.” Emma didn’t have to be told twice; she just shoved a few fries in her mouth and stood up. I slammed money on the table and began walking towards the door, forcing myself not to make a scene or be noticed as I got closer to their table, which was painfully right next to the door. But, nature wouldn’t let me off easy, and just as I had months ago, I tripped over my own feet and landed. Knee first. On the hard tile. Right in front of Matt and Gayle. “Son of a bitch!”
“Kid?” I heard from behind me. I ignored the asshole’s sound of surprise as I sat on my butt, crying out in agony as the pain shot through my knees. I inspected my knees and, like last time, my jeans and the skin of my knees were ripped right open. So much for fixing my pants. I blinked back tears and threw my harshest stare I have ever made at Matt. He was staring at me with my mouth open, his soft hazel eyes full of worry and guilt.
“Sanders, how is it that whenever I’m wearing my favorite jeans around you, I always end up ruining them?” I laughed, my voice harsh and full of anger. Matt stared at me dumbfounded as I gave him a ‘you dun fucked up’ look. He reached out to help me but I shoved his hand away and pushed myself off the floor, tears breaking the line as the pain reached up my body. I gently dusted myself off since my hands were scraped too, sent one more hate-filled glance at Matt before limping out the door, not bothering to check for Emma to follow me. Along with my broken skin came a broken heart, and I forced myself to hold in the tears as I sent Jimmy a text.
Staying over tonight. Broken skin and broken heart. -K
Ohhhh, I love this!!!
12/13/16