Sleep had turned foreign to me. I have had enough of it while on the plane back from San Francisco. Trying to get any sleep before six, which was when I had to wake up for school, was damn near impossible. After tossing and turning for another half-hour, I finally give up on the idea of sleep. Frustrated with myself, I throw the oversized duvet off my sticky, sweaty body. I could tell I was still running a fever from earlier, but I barely cared at this point and, knowing my shit luck, Zack probably wouldn’t care when he sent me off to school.

I turn on the light and begin getting dressed as quietly as I can. I throw on a pair of black pre-torn leggings and Zack’s hoodie, which I still hadn’t bothered returning, on right over my bra. After pulling on a pair of black high-top Converse, I grab my phone and, turning off the light, slip out of my room and silently make my way outside.

The air temperature outside is cool by Southern California standards. Or maybe I’m just cold. Either way, it’s refreshing; I take a deep breath in, the smell of the ocean, not ten minutes away, fills my nostrils. This was – dare I say – better than being high.

I couldn’t fucking believe it.

Trembling slightly, I begin to walk away from the house, in the direction of my newest drug. Excitement courses through my veins as soon as the waves crashing against the shore are within earshot; it makes me want to start running towards it, but even I have limits, and running was one of them.

I almost cry when I finally get to the beach. The whole scene in front of me just felt so surreal. Before I know it, I am standing in nothing but my underwear in front of the violent waves, just seconds before my body collides with the water.

The salt water gets into my fresh cuts, causing them to burn. I flinch violently, but before I can react any differently, I am sucked under water by the ocean’s powerful hand, and it won’t let me resurface. I can tell I’ve been under for too long, but it is too dark to tell which way I have to swim so I can breathe again. Water fills my lungs, causing them to burn as well, as I get tossed violently from side to side. So this was what it was like to die…

Suddenly, I feel strong hands grip my waist and soon, I’m being pulled out of the current. Air fills my lungs and I begin coughing violently; seawater spews from my mouth and all over my already soaking body.

My savior lays me on the beach on my back, caressing my face. It’s too dark to make out their face, so I immediately become tense under their touch, and it didn’t help that I was in such a vulnerable state; otherwise, I’d most certainly lash out at them.

“Jesus, Danny,” they growl softly. “You gave me a fucking heart attack…”

“W-Will…?” I gasp. “What… What are you doing here?”

“I was out and saw you walking towards the beach,” he replies casually. “When I saw you get trapped under the waves, I went in after you. Danny…?”

“Mm?”

“Did you do it on purpose?” I don’t reply. “Danny, did you try to kill yourself?” I finally shake my head, being completely honest. He sighs, clearly not believing me. “And your arms… They look like someone put them through a fucking shredder…” I feel him lift my arm to his lips and press them against the scars that adorn my arms. It’s a strange feeling, but it’s a good one.

“I…” I cough again, the water still not having completely left my lungs.

“Sh…” he says gently. “Are your clothes over there?” I nod and I feel him leave my side for a moment before returning with what little clothing I had worn down here. “Come on; I’ll help you get dressed.”

He helps me to my feet and I shakily put on each thing as he hands it to me. It’s not very comfortable, considering I’m still soaking wet beneath them, but I guess that’s my own fault. Once I’m fully clothed, he grabs me by the shoulders, and, in the dim moonlight, I am able to find his eyes, which lock instantly once I do.

“Are you okay?” he whispers. I nod. “Don’t lie to me, Danny…”

“I don’t know,” I admit. “I haven’t been okay for a long time.” He sighs softly.

“That’s why you do drugs, isn’t it?” I nod slowly. “You shouldn’t do that, Danny. It’ll just make things worse.”

“Really?” I argue. “Because I know for a fact that all they’ve done for me so far is make the pain more bearable.”

“It makes you do stupid things Danny. It makes you do things like try to kill yourself.”

“Well, maybe I want to die!” I exclaim. He doesn’t seem too surprised by my statement, and I have a feeling he’s probably heard similar things from fucked-up druggies like me.

“You have so much to live for.”

“No I don’t!” I scream at him, pulling away. “The only person who’s ever loved me is gone!” The reality of those words hit me so hard, I fall to the ground. “He’s gone… He’s never coming back…” I sob, pulling at my hair.

The pain is even worse than when I was drowning not ten minutes earlier. Something about this weekend had clearly set off something deep down inside, and I wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball and disappear.

I can still feel Will’s gaze on me as I continue to sob uncontrollably. I resist the urge to jump up and jump right back into the ocean, forcing it to drown me this time. He kneels down in front of me, still silently watching me.

“I’m not gone, am I Danny?” he asks me softly. I immediately look up at him, shocked at his statement. He smiles softly at me. “I’m not gone. And I’m not leaving.” Once I realize what he’s trying to say, I begin to calm down.

“I… I don’t want you to make promises you can’t keep…” His expression darkens.

“You’re right,” he mutters. “What we do – what I do… It’s a dangerous business, Danny, and I can’t guarantee you that I won’t leave you. But right now… In this moment, I’m here. And I’m not leaving – not if I can help it.”

I inhale sharply at his words. Never had anyone been so honest – all anybody ever did anymore was lie right to my face. I haven’t trusted anybody in over three years, yet here I was, placing my trust completely in Will…

He leans forward, pressing his lips to mine. It’s so warm and electrifying; I feel a small burning sensation in my lower area, and I wrap my arms around his neck, never wanting to detach myself from him. I feel him smile into the kiss before wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting us both to our feet. He then pulls away from me, sliding his hand down my arm and grabbing my hand gently and pulling me away from the beach.

He leads me down the street, through a neighborhood that seems rather sketchy to me. But I’m too happy, in this moment, to care. He pulls me over to a rundown looking house, which I can only assume must be one of the drug cartel’s safe houses. He unlocks the door with one of the keys he keeps on a chain around his neck, and steps inside.

“Whose house is this?” I can’t help but ask once Will shuts the door behind us.

“Well, technically, it’s mine,” he replies. I don’t push the topic further as I continue to follow him upstairs and into what appears to be the master bedroom.

He finally lets go of my wrist and sits down on the edge of the bed. I slide my phone out of my pocket and set it on the bedside table before removing the sweatshirt, so I’m wearing nothing but my bra. Will’s eyes widen slightly, as if he hadn’t seen me shirtless an hour before already. He reaches out and places his hands on my waist, pulling me towards him. I sit on his lap and press my lips to his; as our lips move in sync, I feel his hand move up my back and begin clasping and unclasping my bra strap.

I can feel his member becoming hard beneath me, so I start fumbling with the zipper on his pants. He lies back and rolls us over so I’m on the bottom, making it easy for him to remove them. Soon, both of us are lying completely naked on the bed. He pauses for a moment, taking me in, his eyes hungry and lustful.

“Oh, god; you’re so beautiful, Danny,” he growls before entering.

What I feel next is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. Will wasn’t my first, but he certainly wasn’t my second or third, either. But he could pleasure me like no one else could… Except…

“S-Stop!” I gasp suddenly, pushing him off of me. He frowns, disappointed and confusion filling his eyes now.

“Is everything alright?” he asks as I begin to shake. “Am I hurting you?” He caresses my face and I slap him away. “Danny…?”

I sit up, massaging my temples gently. His face begins swimming around my mind all over again and I fight back the urge to cry.

“I-It’s nothing…” I tell him breathlessly. “I just… I just don’t know if I’m ready for this.” He wraps an arm around my mid-section, pulling me into his chest.

“It’s okay,” he mutters into my hair. “I’m not going to force you to do anything you’re not ready to do.” He kisses the top of my hair and I bury my face in his shoulder, calming down. “I love you, Danny.” I take a deep breath.

“I love you, too, Will…”

Notes

A/N: Can't write a "sex" scene to save a life. Oh well.

Hope you enjoyed.

~WOLFY~