Lost, Broken and Shattered
Part Ten
“Wake up! Danny…! Wake the fuck up!”
My eyes fly open and I shoot straight up, meeting Zack’s worried eyes.
“Are you okay? You seemed to be having some sort of nightmare.” I close my eyes and nod, pushing my hair out of my face. He sighs and shakes his head. “Look, something came up with your sister; I need to get back to Huntington. I’m going to have the guys check in on you; can I trust you to stay out of trouble?” I nod again, and he sighs. “I’m counting on you…”
With that, he quickly gathers up his things before leaving; he throws me one last unsure look before shutting the door behind him.
I look around the room anxiously, still shaking violently from the memories that would forever haunt me. I felt dirty for everything I’ve done, but that didn’t change the way I felt when it happened.
But it was over now; he was gone. He broke his promise – he left me.
I choke back another sob. I was sick of crying over the past. There was a reason why I was always doing stupid shit; it was to block out all the memories and everything I felt with them. But because of what Brian said last night, they were back, and I had nothing to stop them; whatever Will given me before I left had finally worn off.
I get up slowly, flinching at how much my arms and legs burn. I gather up my clothes and lock myself in the bathroom, not willing to risk someone walking in on me again. I take off the toilet paper that is covering my scars before removing the rest of my pajamas. I then throw on my Bring Me The Horizon shirt and a pair of shorts, before putting on an oversized Avenged Sevenfold hoodie that I had accidently picked up; Zack must’ve forgotten it when he was heading out.
I wondered what had happened with Erin. Whatever it was, it must’ve been pretty damn serious – or it was just her begging for his attention again. Either way, it was clearly too important to take me along with him.
I slipped back into the hotel room, now unsure of what to do. Suddenly, there is a knock on my door. I slowly make my way over the door and look in the peeping hole to see Brian standing there, rocking back and forth on his heels nervously. He raises his fist to knock again, but without thinking, I open the door before he can.
He stands there, staring at me with his fist raised. He stares at me for a moment.
“Uh… can I talk to you for a moment?”
I want to yell at him; tell him to fuck off – and after everything he did last night, I should. But for some reason, I step aside, silently letting him in. He looks slightly surprised, and to be honest, so am I.
He sits down on Zack’s bed, looking at me expectantly. I frown and shift uncomfortably.
“Are you feeling alright?” he asks his tone soft and gentle. “You look a little pale.”
“Why do you care?” I mutter, though I’m too tired to put emotion into my words. He sighs sadly, immediately catching on.
“Look,” he says, “I’m sorry for what I said last night. It was way out of line. I shouldn’t have said it.”
“You shouldn’t lie,” I tell him, sitting down on my own bed. “You were right when you said those things. I don’t have anyone.” He breathes out slowly.
“That’s not true, Danny,” he whispers. I hug my knees to my chest and try to keep myself form crying. “Your dad loves you very much; you just make it really hard for him to show it.”
“He doesn’t love me,” I choke out. “He thinks I’m a fuck-up. They all do.” Hot tears begin streaming down my face and I begin to shake.
I’m not surprised when he doesn’t argue. But I am surprised when he moves over to my bed and wraps his arms tightly around me, holding me to his chest. And for some reason, I don’t fight back, even when he kisses the top of my head.
“You’re not a fuck-up,” he finally mutters after a few minutes. “You just need someone who loves you.” I let out a loud sob and his grip around me tightens.
I had someone…
~
“Danny!” Jimmy calls enthusiastically, running at me, down the hall at full speed. I look up just in time to see all 6’2” him all but crash into me. Luckily, he grabs my arm just in time to keep me from falling. “Danny! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”
Why? I can’t help but wonder. Jimmy always confused me. While everyone was busy acting as if I didn’t exist, he did the exact opposite; and honestly, I couldn’t tell if he was being genuine about it or not.
He grabs my chin and, gently, forces me to meet his eyes. “Have you been crying?” he exclaims, pulling me into a bone-crushing hug, making it impossible to return it, even if I actually wanted to. When he pulls away, he holds me at arm’s length, giving me a sort of half-smile. “Hey,” he says when my gaze drifts to the floor in front of me. “No crying, okay? Not a single tear belongs on that beautiful face of yours.” He taps my chin and I feel myself turn slightly pink.
He kisses the top of my head and ruffles my hair.
“Love you, Danny,” he calls over his shoulder as he skips away, and my breathing almost stops.
As far back as I can remember, Jimmy was the first one to ever say that to me…
~
By now, I am a blubbering mess; I’ve gotten snot and tears all over Brian’s shirt, but he doesn’t seem to care much. Every time I try to regain control of myself, each memory hits me harder than the last, and I lose control all over again.
He runs a hand through my hair and rubs my arm with his other hand. But eventually, he stops this, finally pushing me away and grabbing my shoulders.
“Daenerys,” he snaps, raising his voice over my sobs. “You need to knock it off. You’re going to make yourself sick.” His voice turns more caring at the end, which seems to have some sort of magical affect on me; I attempt to take a few slow, shaky breaths to calm myself down.
Soon, my breath has finally evened out. He smiles, holding my face in his hand. He dries my tears with his thumbs before placing a kiss on my forehead.
“You just need someone who loves you, Daenerys,” he whispers, not removing his lips. “And I’m right here. I’m right here…”
My eyes fly open and I shoot straight up, meeting Zack’s worried eyes.
“Are you okay? You seemed to be having some sort of nightmare.” I close my eyes and nod, pushing my hair out of my face. He sighs and shakes his head. “Look, something came up with your sister; I need to get back to Huntington. I’m going to have the guys check in on you; can I trust you to stay out of trouble?” I nod again, and he sighs. “I’m counting on you…”
With that, he quickly gathers up his things before leaving; he throws me one last unsure look before shutting the door behind him.
I look around the room anxiously, still shaking violently from the memories that would forever haunt me. I felt dirty for everything I’ve done, but that didn’t change the way I felt when it happened.
But it was over now; he was gone. He broke his promise – he left me.
I choke back another sob. I was sick of crying over the past. There was a reason why I was always doing stupid shit; it was to block out all the memories and everything I felt with them. But because of what Brian said last night, they were back, and I had nothing to stop them; whatever Will given me before I left had finally worn off.
I get up slowly, flinching at how much my arms and legs burn. I gather up my clothes and lock myself in the bathroom, not willing to risk someone walking in on me again. I take off the toilet paper that is covering my scars before removing the rest of my pajamas. I then throw on my Bring Me The Horizon shirt and a pair of shorts, before putting on an oversized Avenged Sevenfold hoodie that I had accidently picked up; Zack must’ve forgotten it when he was heading out.
I wondered what had happened with Erin. Whatever it was, it must’ve been pretty damn serious – or it was just her begging for his attention again. Either way, it was clearly too important to take me along with him.
I slipped back into the hotel room, now unsure of what to do. Suddenly, there is a knock on my door. I slowly make my way over the door and look in the peeping hole to see Brian standing there, rocking back and forth on his heels nervously. He raises his fist to knock again, but without thinking, I open the door before he can.
He stands there, staring at me with his fist raised. He stares at me for a moment.
“Uh… can I talk to you for a moment?”
I want to yell at him; tell him to fuck off – and after everything he did last night, I should. But for some reason, I step aside, silently letting him in. He looks slightly surprised, and to be honest, so am I.
He sits down on Zack’s bed, looking at me expectantly. I frown and shift uncomfortably.
“Are you feeling alright?” he asks his tone soft and gentle. “You look a little pale.”
“Why do you care?” I mutter, though I’m too tired to put emotion into my words. He sighs sadly, immediately catching on.
“Look,” he says, “I’m sorry for what I said last night. It was way out of line. I shouldn’t have said it.”
“You shouldn’t lie,” I tell him, sitting down on my own bed. “You were right when you said those things. I don’t have anyone.” He breathes out slowly.
“That’s not true, Danny,” he whispers. I hug my knees to my chest and try to keep myself form crying. “Your dad loves you very much; you just make it really hard for him to show it.”
“He doesn’t love me,” I choke out. “He thinks I’m a fuck-up. They all do.” Hot tears begin streaming down my face and I begin to shake.
I’m not surprised when he doesn’t argue. But I am surprised when he moves over to my bed and wraps his arms tightly around me, holding me to his chest. And for some reason, I don’t fight back, even when he kisses the top of my head.
“You’re not a fuck-up,” he finally mutters after a few minutes. “You just need someone who loves you.” I let out a loud sob and his grip around me tightens.
I had someone…
~
“Danny!” Jimmy calls enthusiastically, running at me, down the hall at full speed. I look up just in time to see all 6’2” him all but crash into me. Luckily, he grabs my arm just in time to keep me from falling. “Danny! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”
Why? I can’t help but wonder. Jimmy always confused me. While everyone was busy acting as if I didn’t exist, he did the exact opposite; and honestly, I couldn’t tell if he was being genuine about it or not.
He grabs my chin and, gently, forces me to meet his eyes. “Have you been crying?” he exclaims, pulling me into a bone-crushing hug, making it impossible to return it, even if I actually wanted to. When he pulls away, he holds me at arm’s length, giving me a sort of half-smile. “Hey,” he says when my gaze drifts to the floor in front of me. “No crying, okay? Not a single tear belongs on that beautiful face of yours.” He taps my chin and I feel myself turn slightly pink.
He kisses the top of my head and ruffles my hair.
“Love you, Danny,” he calls over his shoulder as he skips away, and my breathing almost stops.
As far back as I can remember, Jimmy was the first one to ever say that to me…
~
By now, I am a blubbering mess; I’ve gotten snot and tears all over Brian’s shirt, but he doesn’t seem to care much. Every time I try to regain control of myself, each memory hits me harder than the last, and I lose control all over again.
He runs a hand through my hair and rubs my arm with his other hand. But eventually, he stops this, finally pushing me away and grabbing my shoulders.
“Daenerys,” he snaps, raising his voice over my sobs. “You need to knock it off. You’re going to make yourself sick.” His voice turns more caring at the end, which seems to have some sort of magical affect on me; I attempt to take a few slow, shaky breaths to calm myself down.
Soon, my breath has finally evened out. He smiles, holding my face in his hand. He dries my tears with his thumbs before placing a kiss on my forehead.
“You just need someone who loves you, Daenerys,” he whispers, not removing his lips. “And I’m right here. I’m right here…”
Notes
A/N: Okay so I hope this was okay. I really am happy with this chapter, and I would like to know what you guys thought...For those of you reading "Famous Last Words", if I do not get a chance to update it tomorrow, the next update will be on Friday.
Thank you =)
~WOLFY~
This has been an amazing story and can't wait for the sequel...
3/2/15