*Carry On*

Brian's POV

I slouch down in my couch as Matt types furiously on his laptop. I see the steam coming out of his ears as he types, shaking his head. He must be thinking of every possible loophole that I could get out of. Its complete bullshit, writing a contract for a grown man. Okay, so Maybe Kaylyn and I overstepped the bounds of our professional relationship. But who fucking cares? We are both consenting adults.

I instantly feel the backlash of my words about suggesting a contract. No, I am not going to take back my words. I just wish Matt would fucking lighten up. Besides, that woman was all that I'm thinking about. Those beautiful eyes, sexy as fuck legs and tattoos, and damn her lips... I wish that I had a better opportunity to look her over.

"And no physical contact by any means. Participants must stay at least two feet apart," Matt says as he types.

"Is that really necessary?" I say, shooting a dark glance to the other side of the couch. As I take a sip of my beer, I see Jimmy laughing across the room. "So basically if I'm chocking to death, she can't save my life?"

Matt throws me a dirty look before returning to the contract. "Both parties are prohibited from any and all sexual acts, touching, or flirting. If these terms are broken, then both parties will be terminated."

Jimmy whistles a low pitch before shaking his head at me. I know he thinks this is bullshit. Sure I will play nice for now, but I can't make any promises that I will abide by all the rules. Jimmy stands and takes Pinkly towards the door and I see him glance up the stairs. He must be looking for Kaylyn. She was staying out of sight while Matt was around which was probably making things even worse. I feel bad for putting her in this situation....wait am I really sorry? I guess so...I haven't felt this feeling since my breakup...

"Are you done so I can sign this piece of shit?" I groan. I'm so sick of being treated like a child. Let me deal with my problems in my own way.

Matt looks up at me from the top of the laptop and let's out a sigh. "Brian, I'm trying really hard to be patient and let you work through whatever it is your going through." I snort but he continues. "But I--I mean we are losing are patience with you. You act out irrationally and shut all of us out except for Jimmy. And whatever you've said to him, he claims to be sworn to secrecy. Just come fucking out with it already!"
My fist tightens around my beer bottle as I look straight ahead at the TV. I'm not about to have a heart to heart. "I don't want to talk about it. I'm fine." I say, my jaw tense and locked. "Let's sign this stupid contract and be done."

Matt signs and looks down at his hands. "Look, I know break ups hurt, Haner, but they happen. It's no big deal..."

I feel my blood boil and I'm suddenly standing. "It's no big deal?!" I almost laugh as I interrupt him. "It's no big deal?! You've got a lot of fucking nerve, Sanders! So apparently my life is a big freaking joke with no meaning." I start pacing as I rage, my vision red. "So having the woman I gave my heart and soul to just up and fucking leave me sta--you know what, fuck you Matt!" I say before storming out of the room.

I clutch my beer as I walk back out to the patio. As I scream, I throw my now empty beer bottle. The smashing of glass on the pavement gives me some relief, but I can't stand here any longer. My blood is boiling and I need a release.

The next thing I know, I am running down the street, heading for the beach. I see the California sunset in the distance and the smell of the ocean brings me a certain sense of relief. As I reach the beach, I collapse into the sand on my knees. The weight of the world that I have been avoiding suddenly crashes down on me and I can't stand it.

"FUCK YOU!" I scream at the waves as they crash on the shore. My head spins with thoughts of Aubrey, flying to Vegas with Jimmy, and how she never showed up. I am the biggest idiot on the face of the earth.
I collapse on my side into the sand and just lay there. I lost Aubrey and now Im about to lose my band because I can't deal with my own problems. But what is the point of anything when you feel like you've lost everything that mattered?

I sigh as I pull myself back up, taking out my pack of Marlboros. I place the cigaret between my lips and light it as lyrics and a melody pop into my head. Slowly I take a drag before letting myself mutter the lyrics.

"Nothing is harder, than waking up alone.
Realize it's not okay.
It's the end of all you know.
Time keeps passing by but it seems I'm frozen still
scars are left behind, but some too deep to feel

And some say this can't be real
And I've lost my power to feel tonight
We're all just victims of a crime
When all's gone and can't be regained
We can't seem to shelter the pain inside
We're all just victims of a crime"

I sing the lyrics softly, feeling some of my pain subside. Damn this sucks.

As I finish letting out my thoughts, I hear footsteps behind me.

"Brian?"

Notes

Lyrics are from A7X Victim
Sorry it's a short chapter! I promise my next one will be longer!

So who has found Brian on the beach? Was Matt out of line or did Brian just not let him finish?