Video Star

So, I've been on tour for a week now. It was ok I guess, I wasn’t really doing anything other than my concerts at night and filming during the day every other day. I was also just opening up for more famous bands so it’s not even like it was my tour and they didn’t tell me that so that was actually really upsetting. I wasn’t mad or anything, I was really upset that I didn’t know and thought that it was just me, not me opening up for someone bigger. I was about to film right now though because I was getting an overwhelming amount of “why aren't you going overseas and you lied and said it was going to be your concert” so, I'm going to address it today. I sat at the little table I had and set up my camera then turned it on with my remote ‘Hey guys’ I said softly, not happily like I usually do ‘I've been getting an overwhelming amount of people asking me why I'm not going overseas and the answer is because I'm completely and utterly terrified of flying.

I will go out of my way to drive around the airport if I know that I have to pass it to go somewhere. The last time I flew was when I went to go look at my house and that was out of desperation because I needed to get out of the situation I was in immediately and had no other choice. On the way to look at the house I took sleeping pills so I wouldn’t have to suffer through the flight and on the way back I didn’t take any and the flight attendant had to sit next to me and hold my hand the entire seven and a half hours because I was freaking out so bad that I was scaring the other passengers’ I explained as I picked at the corner of my phone case ‘you guys have to realize that I'm not scared of flying just to be scared of flying, I was in a plane crash when I was 10 and I can't go through that again. I will tell you what happened though, I don’t remember much but I remember that my parents and I were on our way back home from a vacation somewhere, I don’t really remember where but anyway.

We were about an hour or so into the flight and it started storming so there was a mass amount of turbulence which is scary anyway so that’s what started scaring me and then from what I can remember a lightning bolt hit the right wing of the plane and we just dropped and I mean we dropped so fast the oxygen masks came down and everyone started panicking trying to put them on and I was just completely frozen in fear, I didn’t know what to do and my parents weren’t even in the same row as me, they had to sit like five or six rows back so I couldn’t see them and they couldn’t see me but the woman next to me was really nice and held my hand the whole time so that was nice of her but anyway, the pilots landed us in the middle of a forest and we went down so hard the back of the plane caved in on itself and the two flight attendants that were back there didn’t make it’ I explained more as I moved my hands around some

‘We were all rushed off the plane and the woman next to me actually carried me off and held me until I pointed out my parents to her, she gave me back and everyone was crying. We weren’t rescued until three or four hours later and I haven't been on a plane since, until I had to go look at my house and the only reason I didn’t drive there was because I needed to look at the house the next day and it would’ve taken me too long to drive from the east coast to the west coast, so, I will never get on a plane again and I'm sorry but I just can't do it’ I said then sighed a little and looked down at the time on my phone ‘and the other thing I've been getting a lot of is people saying that I lied to you guys and said that this tour was going to be only me. I don’t lie and I had absolutely no idea that I was going to be opening for people, I really thought this was just going to be me and I'm actually really hurt that they didn’t tell me that’ I said as my eyes filled with tears and I looked up at the camera

‘I didn’t know and I feel so bad that you guys think I lied to you but I didn’t know and all the comments I've been getting are just so hurtful and wrong and I don’t know how people can be so evil’ I sighed as I started crying ‘I'm so sorry, no one told me and I've only been out here a week and I'm already getting people hating me for whoever knows what reason. I don’t know what else to do, I'm sorry I lied, I really hope you can forgive me’ I whispered then turned off the camera, wiped my tears away and took a few minutes then uploaded, edited and uploaded again then turned off my computer, grabbed my bag and hurried off to sound check which lasted about an hour or so then I went into the back and started writing in my journal, which was all over the place by the way because I wrote down whatever lyrics came to mind and I wrote down my thoughts or what I was doing, things like that. ‘Hey’ I heard and I looked up and saw the lead singer for Falling in Reverse aka Ronnie Radke

‘Hey’ I said softly ‘you're Echo right?’ he asked as he sat on the bench next to me so I sat up, seeing as I was leaned over and writing in my journal on my knee, I put my pen in my book then closed it ‘yeah, you're Ronnie?’ I asked and he nodded then smiled, I smiled back and started picking at the corner of my book ‘you're opening for us’ ‘oh, I didn’t know that’ ‘mhm, I've watched you the last two shows and you're really good’ he said and I blushed a little ‘thanks’ ‘no problem, listen, the guys and I are gonna have some drinks after the show, do you wanna come?’ ‘Um, I don’t know if I should’ ‘aww why not?’ he asked and I cleared my throat a little and looked away ‘I have trust issues and it’s not that I don’t trust you but I don’t know you enough to trust you’ I said softly and he nodded in understanding ‘ok, how about you and I just hang out and have some drinks on your bus? Get to know each other a little better’ he suggested. I bit my lip but nodded a little anyway ‘ok’ ‘ok great, where are you parked?’

‘Um, the north end of the parking lot I think, it has a red stripe on the side’ ‘ok, I’ll get cleaned up after the show then head over, is that ok?’ he asked and I nodded then looked up when my name was called to go on so I nodded then looked back at Ronnie ‘see you in a few hours’ I said and he smiled a little then I got up and left. I walked out on stage and did my thing for about an hour then finished up and headed backstage. I picked up my bag and started back to my bus but I stopped and signed something for people and took a few pictures then they let me go. When I got back I took a quick shower then changed into loose gray sweatpants and a black muscle tank without a bra or panties because I didn’t wanna waste clean clothes since I was informed we only got to wash our clothes once a month but anyways, I turned my laptop back on then grabbed a bottle of Smirnoff, opened it and sat down at the table. I logged into all my sites and checked them,

YouTube last and I had gotten over a thousand comments since I posted my video earlier. As I was reading them there was a knock on my door so I got up, walked down one step and opened it to see Ronnie, I smiled a little and let him in then walked over to the fridge and grabbed him what I was having and we both sat at the table ‘so, tell me about yourself’ he said and I rose an eyebrow as I looked over my laptop at him ‘I'm not very interesting’ ‘that’s ok’ he smiled, I sighed a little then looked back at my laptop and continued reading the comments as I talked ‘I've been on YouTube for four years now, that’s actually how I got signed so now I'm a YouTube partner and with Warner Brothers ‘cool, what's your name on YouTube?’ he asked as he pulled out his phone ‘EchoSide’ ‘sweet ok I subbed to you’ he said and I laughed a little and nodded ‘what are you doing?’ ‘Hm, oh sorry I'm reading the comments on my last video’ ‘oh ok’ he said sounding a little disappointed,

I smiled a bit then closed my laptop and moved it over ‘I'm 22, 5 foot, I'm from the east coast but now living on the west, I'm good friends with Avenged Sevenfold and this is my first album and tour’ I said and he nodded a little then told me about himself ‘how come you were on drugs?’ I asked and he shrugged a little ‘it was fun, and then it wasn’t’ ‘well, at least you're better now’ I smiled; he smiled back and nodded some. I pulled the ashtray I had on the table out in front of me then grabbed my smokes and lighter and lit up. I offered Ronnie one and he accepted ‘you're cute’ I said and he chuckled a little ‘thanks, so are you’ he said and I blushed a little ‘you have a boyfriend?’ he asked and I shook my head as I blew the smoke out ‘my ex was extremely abusive, and I don’t like talking about it but he was. Syn and I had kind of a thing going on but not really I guess’ ‘what did you and Syn do?’ ‘Just oral and not often so I don’t know what's going on. We both wanna be in a relationship with each other but we didn’t want to start anything while I'm on tour since I'm gonna be here for a year’ I explained and he nodded a little.

‘Totally understandable, but, why didn’t you wanna have sex?’ he asked and I just kinda looked at him and knew I could trust him ‘you can't tell anyone, Syn’s the only one that knows’ I said and he nodded then reached over and laced his fingers with mine, I smiled and tapped my smoke in the tray ‘my ex raped me and beat me every chance he got. I'm just scared to have sex right now I guess, I mean, I know Brian won’t hurt me but I'm just scared’ I whispered and he moved and sat next to me and hugged my shoulders tight. I rested my head on his chest and sniffled a little as he rubbed my arm ‘I'm sorry, no one deserves that’ he whispered, I just nodded a little then pulled back and looked up at him.

He smiled and kissed my forehead ‘don’t cry, you're too beautiful for that’ he said and I blushed but nodded some ‘please don’t tell anyone’ ‘I won’t, don’t worry. Now come on, have a drink’ ‘alright’ I laughed and he did to and we just talked and drank for a few hours then he headed back to his bus and I went back to reading all the comments on my video. People were saying that they understood why I didn’t wanna fly and they said they were sorry for making me cry. It was just too many comments to reply back to so I didn’t, I just shut my laptop then looked at my phone, it was already about one am so I just sighed and went to sleep.

Notes

Echo's Outfit - http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=135701170