Danger Line

„What’s the matter? The press conference went just as planned,” Matt touched my shoulder as I raised one of the wonderful Camel cigarette’s to my lips. We were standing just outside the bus, already crossed the border of Wisconsin and waiting for our driver’s to refill the bus tanks. It was ridiculously cold outside and I wasn’t ashamed to admit my vagina was turning into a frozen vagina. There was one word to describe the choice of my outfit – stupid. I didn’t know where the hell I got all this fur, or why was I wearing a simple t-shirt and stockings under it when it was snowing outside, but one thing was for sure – I reminded of a russian streetwalker.

„Yeah... but I can’t believe Brian said nothing,” That ass... Why should I take all the blame? And I’m not talking about the leaked footage of us having sex in the toilet, I’m talking about me playing the villain in general. Why the hell did no one attack him with those kinds of questions? The only bullshit they asked him was how he’s feeling about being back to Warped, I mean that’s just... fucking braggarts!

„I thought you were cool with coming off as the bad guy. I thought we agreed on this...” So the Avenged could go on with the tour? Yeah... about that... I knew this all’s gonna backfire on me very fast, yeah, sure I could hum Bad Reputation under my breath like a true Joan Jett as I went through the sea of haters, but being hated and a female all in one and in industry of rock? I mean... fuck me!

„Yeah, sure, that was before I saw a gazillion articles about myself... I’m the next Miley fucking Cyrus, man...” I sighed, taking a drag, „How could I go from being a fucking teacher to... being a fucking pornstar?”

„Well, Meg, that’s a pretty easy road to walk,” Matt chuckled, receiving a glare from me, „Oh come on, chill out... What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

„Oh I don’t know, somebody will piss in a bottle and throw it at me?” I retorted, exhaling the smoke. That couldn’t be too pleasant. I shoved my free hand in the pocket of my coat, trying to avoid the freezing breeze as I raised a cigarette to my lips. „It’s just... argh, I’m so fucking mad at Gates right now!” I was angry. I was pissed. I was going out of my fucking mind! The titles of those articles still very boldly pressed into my mind – McQueen – the stripper in disguise or When rockstars turn into pornstars – and god forbid those bastards wrote something about Brian!

„Meg, you know he needs a clean slate,” Matt tried reasoning and I could see he was soon to turn into a snowman. He was close to shaking off what the good lord gave him.

„Yeah, and I think you need to get inside, before your dick freezes off,” I replied thoughtfully. „And somebody beats the crap out of me for chilling with you...”

„Don’t be like that,” He pleaded, pulling me in a hug. What the actual hell? It felt very weird being this close to Matt. I tiptoed just to take a quick drag over his shoulder, „No one can beat you up, you’re a fucking badass...”

„I’m fucking 5’3, Matt! What the fuck are you talking about?” I pushed him off me, considering if someone hadn’t mixed his medicine, „Anyone can beat me up, like, literally... even a child can beat the fuck out of me. Umm, like, hello? Have you seen me?” The person who’s barely tall enough to reach over your shoulders? „But anyhow, go inside and warm up your ass,” I kicked the remainders of the cigarette away.

„And what are you gonna do?” He questioned, starting to jump in place to heat himself up.

„Well... we have a show in... I don’t even know how many hours, but what I do know - we have a drawer full of Smirnoff’s, so that about sums up my plan for the evening.”

He eyed me suspiciously, before deciding to drop whatever had crossed his mind, „Should I tell something to Gates?”

„yeah... that he’s a fucking dick.” I rolled my eyes, pulling the collar further up my chin.

„So I take that you’re not back together...”

„Are you fucking kidding me, Sanders? I’m the heel of my own Achilles right now!”

„I don’t even know what that means...”

I sighed, „Look, you wanna watch the world go up in flames? If so - go ahead, set me up with Gates yet a-fucking-gain, if not – let me drown in my own misery, before someone puts me in a rehab.”

„You’re really all about extremes, aren’t you...” His eyes narrowed on me. Oh stop giving me that look. Like you didn’t know I was going for this from the very beginning.

„You betcha.” I winked, before managing my way to our tour bus.

„He asked about you, you know...” He started, making me stop with one leg already inside the bus and look back at him. „He thought you’re finally getting back together...”

„Yeah, well, I have different problems flying through my mind now, besides I have commitment issues.”

„Since when?” He frowned.

„Since he knocked your merch girl up with a child!” I exclaimed, „Now goodbye, Sanders. I have some Smirnoff business to attend.” Maybe Gates was right, maybe I did become a bitch as soon as he opened up for me, but hell, this was as much his fault as it was mine. I can’t be all cuddly with the guy, when the paparazzi’s are running after me and claiming I’m the pornstar of heavy metal. This blows... God knew I cared for the guy, but I was very egoistical and right now, my top priority was to save my reputation... or right the contrary – ruin it. Ruin mine and save Brian’s. So I was doing something good... Imagine my surprise when I came to that conclusion. The stupid agreement... Why the fuck did I even decide to help the guys by doing this to myself? For those who’re not following right now, believe me, I’m not too, but the deal is – we all know the reputation of Synyster Gates and we all know the stories traveling around about his Casanovic nature so in order to take the steam off of him for a while and let him breathe a little, some moron came up with the plan of me becoming the fucking bitch. It was simple – Avenged Sevenfold came off as all business right now while Beautiful Wasteland gained a not so good reputation thanks to me.

„Close the fucking door!” I heard Bailey shout as I came up the steps. Oh hey, friend, nice seeing you too. What was going on with this cadet I really had no idea. I had spent very little time with her if almost none throughout the tour and I strongly suggested she was hooking up with one of the roadies, ‘cause this was the first I actually saw her off her phone in a week.

I walked up to our counters and pulled the drawer open as Luke walked in the bus and started the engine. „You’re up for a drink?” I sighed and shot her a side glance whilst taking two glasses.

„What kind of a question is that?” She frowned, pulling her short hair in a sort of a bun. A small smile appeared on my lips, as I took the ice and poured in the glass.

„So what are we drinking?”

„Make me something... sweet... no sour... hmm... I’m thinking whiskey sour.”

„I was thinking about vodka...”

„I don’t do vodka,” She stated simply as I stripped off the fur. „You know that.”

„Honestly? I don’t think I know anything about you lately,” I reached for the shaker and Monin’s Rancho syrup, before adding her beloved Jack Daniels in the metal piece, Rancho and cane syrup.

„And who’s fault is that?” She retorted, making herself comfortable in the pose of lotus. I decided not to answer that question.

„I was just talking to Matt,” I started casually, even tho without looking I knew she tensed up. I shook the ingredients, before pouring them in the glasses and carrying one to her.

„And what did that son of a bitch say?”

„About you? Nothing...” I shrugged, taking a mouthful. „I’m just wondering what’s going on between you two.”

„Between us? Nothing. He’s just a son of a bitch, that’s all...”

„That’s not cute anymore, Bails...” I sighed heavily, still not being able to put my finger on why nothing ever happened between them. Yeah, sure, I knew she was a bitch, but Matt’s head over heals in love with her. „Why can’t you just give him a chance?”

„Uhmm, hello, have you seen him? He’s a manwhore.” She exclaimed.

I frowned, looking at her, „Matt? The same cuddly teddy bear who’s picked your drunk ass from a bar too many times to remember and made sure you got home safe and sound? That Matt? Are we talking about the same person?”

„Yes, we’re talking about the same fucking guy. I don’t need someone to treat me like I’m the queen of the fucking England or something. Besides, don’t tell me you haven’t seen the chicks throwing themselves at him.”

„But he’s always turned them all down...” I tried reasoning with her, before a rather pissed looking Ian peeked his head around the corner.

„Do you guys think you can shut the fuck up for like thirty minutes? Maybe an hour if you’re feeling generous? I’d kinda like to get a little bit of sleep,” Ian snapped. Whoa, who ate his special brownies? This was the first I saw him this mad over something. „this is fucking ridiculous!”

„Oh shot your piehole, Ian!” Bailey shouted back. „it’s not our fault you’ve been up all night fucking some groupie!”

„Guys, can you please, keep it down? I haven’t slept all night!” Frank whined from his bunk.

„What the hell are you whining about, fish-fingers?” Fish fingers? Seriously? „Shove your head back in your ass and go to sleep!”

„What did you call me?” And there appeared Frank’s messy head. He threw a pillow at Bailey.

„hey, watch it!” She exclaimed, before continuing in an angry hiss, „nearly spilled my drink...”

„Okay you guys, let’s just calm the ef down.” I stood up, gesturing with my hands for them to stop fighting. A pillow hit me. And that’s the thanks I get for trying to calm everyone’s shit. „I’ll remember that, Franco...” I pointed a finger at him.

„Whoa, there’s a party and I’m not invited?” Chris pouted, coming past Ian.

„Now they’ll never shut up... Great...” Ian mumbled, before disappearing back in the baby making area.

„You’re damn right, Ian! I’ll even blast my shitty Devil Driver just for your entertainment!” Bailey shouted back at him, before turning on the iPod. „I’ll show him to mess with Bailey fucking Harris...”

„Bails don’t, Madison is sleeping,” Chris plead, snatching my glass and taking a drink.

„...Who?” That didn’t stop her from turning the volume way up.

„So now you’re an item?” I looked at him, yanking the glass out of his sneaky fingers.

„I don’t know,” he sighed, „I mean the chick’s cool and all, but she’s fucking crazy,” he whispered, tapping his temple a couple of times. „She’s made a pinterest collage of our wedding... I mean, like... hells no. I don’t have time for that kind of commitment, I’m deeply involved with my other love already besides her.”

„And you claim she’s the wacko. You’re fucking in love with that game box!” I exclaimed as he poured himself a glass.

„Hey,” he warned, „don’t even go there, Hills...”

„What? You fucking brought it up in the first place!”

„Just- just drop it, okay?”

„Is there even a word for this shit? Like I know there’s for fucking dead people and kids, but is there for fucking a playstation console?” Bailey asked thoughtfully.

„Why the hell am I even friends with you?” He retorted, taking a seat on the couch.

„’Cause I’m awesome, doh...”

„I’m not sure that’s what they call being a bitch nowadays.”

„Hey, at least I don’t fuck an object.” Oh, now you’ve asked for it, Bails.

„As far as I know a dildo is a fucking object.” Chris smirked, hiding his mouth behind the glass. „And god knows you haven’t seen a real dick in a very long time.”

„She saw yours just this morning!” I exclaimed, pointing out to his hobby to walk around naked. Can’t say I was super stoked on it, but hey, whatever floats his boat.

„That’s not what I meant...”

„At least my fake dick is bigger than yours,” She snickered, emptying the glass.

„Okay, that’s it!” Ian appeared around the corner with a suitcase in his hand, „I can’t take this anymore. Luke, pull over!”

„Where are you going?” I frowned. We were in the middle of the snowy fucking nowhere!

„Away from all you fucked up people. I mean really? It’s bad as it is with Chris running around naked – I don’t need to hear about... nevermind.”

„So what, now you’re hitchhiking your way to our next venue?” I questioned.

„I’ll catch a ride with Sevenfolds.” He replied, as Luke stopped the bus.

„Well, good fucking luck you fucking backstabber! You may as well stay there for the rest of the tour!” Oh god, Bailey was mad. Not a good sign.

„Okay, I will!”

„Fine!”

„Fine!” And with that he slammed the door.

For a moment there was silence between us, before Bailey spoke up rather angrily, „he forgot his ant farm.”

Notes