Danger Line

„Thanks, but you didn’t have to do that,” My voice was barely louder than a whisper and I felt very uncomfortable with Brian taking care of my expenses. I mean I left the guy freeze to death just an hour ago, not feeling any guilt wash over me for what had I done, since he hasn’t been no better. So it was very hard to put the pieces together, knowing he dissed me, then he got in a fight with my best friend, later I watched him roll off a hill and simply left and now he’s paying for me. Was this how two normal people acted around each other?

„Don’t think about it,” he replied, before pulling up to a door what seemed to be his suite.

„I promise I’ll pay you back,” Once I actually get the money... Without a word he unlocked the door and slammed it shut in my face. Okay, that went rather well if I may say. I exhaled heavily as my eyes dropped to look over the key chain. 54... I looked back up at Brian’s door to see a 55 on it. Well, ain’t this his lucky day...

Once I walked in and flipped the light switch on, I nearly went on a crazy rampage, „850 for... this?” Maybe I was crazy, but thinking when I... or Brian for that matter payed close to a thousand bucks for a night in this hell hole, I would at least get something bigger than the bathroom back at Brian’s house. Just because the furniture was new and mostly leather, didn’t mean anyone had to pay that kind of number for this worthless space. And who the fuck even needed a fireplace? But okay, at least I saw a balcony meaning without a further a due, I’m going to take a smoke.

Once I slid the door open, a view came into my notice... The most beautiful thing I’d seen – I was looking over the people filled slopes, the white hills, the big pine trees... Yeah, imagine my surprise when I finally saw people. Okay, maybe it was worth paying for. And the balcony was huge... and connected to the suite to my right.

„I can’t believe I paid three grand just to get our rooms next to each other,” Brian’s voice came into my notice as I saw him leaning over the railing, blowing out a thick, gray cloud of smoke. Actually the hatred in his voice left me confounded, see, up until now I just thought this was a rage thing over me dumping him, but now seeing him so calm, almost indifferent and hearing the hatred did something to me. I suffered of this darkness, the numbing pain taking over me.

„I-I’m sorry...” I replied, completely paralyzed by his presence. This wasn’t like me, I didn’t freeze around no one, but, hell, I had to be cautious around him, since I didn’t know what he could do. I’ve never seen him that... that distant and I’m not afraid to say we never had been in a fight this big.

„Why the fuck are you apologizing?” He frowned, while shooting me a side glance, „It’s not like you had a choice.”

„No, I’m – I apologize for earlier,” I relaxed a bit once he turned his head back to gazing over the slopes, while flicking off the ash from his cigarette. Unconsciously I had been nibbling on the filter of my Camel cigarette, before I remembered why had I came out here. If before the only thing I felt towards Brian was sort of raging hate, then now it was far from that. I was honestly afraid. It was uneasy being around him, ‘cause earlier he spoke whatever the hell came across his mind, which mostly was just pure idiocy and now... Now he was barely saying anything.

„Have you called off the tour yet?” He questioned, taking a deep drag. How does he know about that?

„No,” I inhaled the smoke, whilst leaning back against the wall.

„Good,” He kicked away the remainders of the cigarette, before pushing him off the railing, „’Cause you’re not gonna do that.”

„Excuse me?” Nope, the rage returns. The long lost friend. All it took was him to open his mouth and start pushing me around.

„Look, whatever has been between you and me? Just forget it ever happened. I’ll have an interview in the nearest days, I’ll apologize to the fans, the press and we’ll forget about it.” What exactly was I supposed to forget? Me and him in general or him just dissing me in front of everyone?

„Aren’t you supposed to apologize to me?” My eyes narrowed on him, and either he looked like he wants to kill me or fuck me... I wasn’t quite sure, but the first one felt more tempting than the other. It seemed like he was measuring me with his eyes.

„... okay. I’m sorry.” I didn’t hear even the tiniest bit of remorse to those words, „Better?”

„You’re a fucking dick, Brian,” I threw the cigarette butt over the railings,

„What? I just apologized, why the hell are you instulting me?”

„’Cause you didn’t fucking mean it!”

„Of course I didn’t mean it, how could’ve I fucking meant it if I don’t even remember what I’m apologizing for!” And who’s fault was that?

„I explained to you everything—„

„Right before you pushed me off the hill?”

„I... I didn’t push you,” I just... I mean, the opportunity knocks and you take it. That’s what happened back there. I sighed. „Look, can we just stop fighting for a moment?”

„And do what?” He snapped, „Make a campfire and sing kumbaya?”

Well, that was one way of keeping ourselves warm and away from each others throats. „Yeah, why not?”

„Why not? I’ll tell you fucking why not! You’re acting like a human being right now just because I look almost too pissed to handle myself! I know you, Hills... Once I’ll let my guard down and will offer a peace treaty, you’ll snap. You always do!”

„That’s so not true,”

„Oh it’s not?” His eyebrows raised as he offered me a seat on the white plastic chair, before brushing the snow off with his hand. „Let’s make an experiment,” He faked a smile, taking a seat across from the one he offered me. Okay, let’s. I sat down, raising yet another cigarette to my lips. „Tell me about your mother.”

„That’s,” I pointed a finger at him, while having a cigarette lingering from my lips. I took it in my fingers, before continuing, „None of your fucking business, Haner.” He had that look saying I was bitching again. I sighed, „Look, I don’t ask you about Kathy and your child, now do I?”

„I don’t have a fucking child, Meg,” He glared, gripping the arm rest until his knuckles became white. Well of course you don’t, it takes nine months to fart one out!

„Easy there, Haner, this was your idea,” I reminded holding up my hands in defense, before I finally managed to light my cigarette. „Let’s start simple, since I feel we kinda can’t stand each other, but anyhow... Are you going to hit the slopes?”

„I’m from California, Meg,” He said slowly as if reminding me that I was retarded, „I’m a surfer... I don’t do... snow.”

„There’s nothing to it, really,” I shrugged, remembering the days when me and dad went on our snowboarding trips to Telluride, Colorado. Man, those were the good days when I was still fit and could keep up with everyone on the slopes. I could imagine if I went on a snowboarding adventure right now, I’d most probably would feel my lunges falling out and heart stopping only by getting my feet in those boots. „It’s the same as surfing, easier even, ‘cause, man, I tried surfing... never again, I can tell ya’ that.”

„You can skii?” He asked, a bit of shock mirroring on his face.

„Skii? Fuck no. I know how to snowboard, skiing is for pussies.”

„Last time I checked you still had one,” Corners of his lips raised in a smile, as for me? I felt myself blush a bit, remembering the times when he used to throw me around the bed sheets.

„Last time I checked, we were talking about snowboarding,” I replied, taking a deep drag. „What happened to us, Brian? When did we go from this to wanting to pulverize each other’s asses? I strongly believe we should’ve never started dating in the—„

„Don’t say that,” He snapped, that dangerous spark in his eyes once again, before he sighed, „Look, dating you was the best thing that could probably happen to me, it just turned out we have very different and incompatible natures.”

„Yeah, you’re a cheating bastard,”

„And you’re a control freak.” We both laughed, knowing it to be the truth, „I won’t deny I’m a dick and I should’ve never done what I did, but I can’t change what I am.”

I closed my eyes, for a moment reliving the past. I remembered the day when he showed up for the masterclass, even then I considered him to be a dick and nothing had changed since then. Sure, there were things about him that I didn’t understand and that pissed me off a couple times too many, but that was just who he was and I had to come to terms with it. I smiled, „You’re my best friend, Haner, that’s what you are. And no, I’m not gonna stop calling you a dick, you’ll just have to live with it.”

I opened my eyes to see him standing in front of me, his hands deep in his pockets. What was that smile? Why was he looking at me like that? „I like when you call me a dick,” He stated simply, before pulling me up from the chair, forcing me to crash in his leather jacket. „Easy...” He chuckled lightly, having his hands on my hips. Ookay... That’s way too close. And just like that, he dropped his arms as if known exactly what I was thinking. But the truth was – I liked his hands on me, touching me, making me feel safe. „Okay, let’s get your stuff and then you could teach me the voodoo of snowboarding, sounds good?”

„Sounds good,” I sighed once he had walked inside. And yet we were back to what we were before, but fucking hell! This seemed even harder than hating the guy. Why did I always do this to myself?

Notes