Danger Line

„Thanks for a great show, Boise!” Paul roared in his microphone after we had just finished Say Goodbye. One of my favorite songs on the album, but one of the least favorite to play with broken ribs. „As some of you may know, Rave broke two of her ribs while we were playing in Seattle, so this is really difficult for her,” As I walked to my every three song five minute break which in all reality was just my dad fixing the support belt we had made from scrap, Paul was ready to start his story telling. This was the second show we did since the attack and my oh-so fabulous fall, and after the first one I realized I couldn’t play without something that didn’t support my ribcage.

„Watcha say I tell you jokes, while Rave takes five?” Hell, Paul and stand up comedy? But the crowd went mad, so this should be fun. „So... I always wanted to be a rockstar when I was a child,” Paul started as I walked up to dad, so he could change the ice pack, „I got the excessive drinking right, but unfortunately forgot about the main things, like learning the instrument, so, knowing I lack talent, can’t do neither guitar, nor piano, not even the triangle... I became a singer.” I frowned, hearing the joke. Okay, that was kinda funny, but that wasn’t a joke, that was the truth about his life... „Yeah, that sucked, but that’s the truth... Yo, Bails, maybe you know a joke?”

Bailey and jokes? I bet she’s gonna flip him off. I narrowed my eyes on her to see one of the roadies fix her with a microphone, „yeah, sure, why not... I’m feeling generous today...” What? I smile widely, realizing this is the first time she’s done something else on stage besides kicking the absolute shit out of her drums. „Okay, so I saw this this morning while I was surfing through sickipedia, I swear you guys should check it out, of course if you’re eighteen... So a man walks in a library and asks for a book on suicide... The librarian says – fuck off, you won’t bring it back... I know, I know, it’s sick and twisted, but it cracks me up each time...”

Shit, that even cracked me up. With a wide smile I turned over to look at dad, who had bent over while fixing my support belt. He looked beat, with dark circles under his eyes and a very pale complexion, and truth be told Zee Hills was anything, but pale. „What’s up? You look beat...”

„Just a long day, and feeling tired since certain someone didn’t let me sleep through the night,” Dad shot me a dirty look. What? My smiled turned upside down. I was on my bus all night reading that stupid Cosmo just to knock myself to sleep. I had certain problems with sleeping when bus was in motion, so to numb my pain and lull myself to oblivion, I decided to do laugh on how stupid can people get. That and cosmo had some pretty dumb yet read-able horoscopes.

„What are you talking about?” I asked as I switched guns with Luke from the Les Paul to the Schecter Brian gave me for Christmas.

„Oh don’t play dumb, I know you and Gates were at it yesterday, but that’s none of my business...” Damn right it wasn’t, ‘cause that was disgusting. Well, I liked, actually loved sex, but it was disgusting in the way when dad spoke about it. But then again I hadn’t slept with Gates for weeks... Dad’s getting delusional. „Okay, you’re set...” Dad told, before sending me off to the stage with an exhausted smile on his face, before pulling me back in the very last second. What the hell? „Hold on... The strap... It’s ripping apart...”

„Huh?” I looked behind my back to see the newest of my guitar straps hanging on a single thread, and knowing the weight of this gun, it was only a matter of seconds before the guitar would hit the ground.

„Hold up, let’s switch it from your other gun...” Judging by the lame-ass jokes my band was cracking, I had all the time in the world. „Meg... Come here for a moment...” He called me from the big case where all the guitars were being held. Dad was inspecting my previous strap, it also was and I’m not afraid to use the word- sabotaged. „Do you have something sharp on you?”

„What? No...” I touched my outfit and besides leather and mere cotton, I had nothing.

„Okay, I’ll take one off Syn’s gun, just remember to place it back, ‘kay?”

„Yeah, sure...” I frowned as he pulled the strap over my head and switched the straps.

„Okay, you’re set...”

„Thanks...” With a frown I walked back on the stage and instantly went to the drum riser where Chris was taking a sip from his Jagerbull glass. „All of my guitar straps are tearing apart...” I yelled over the chants and laughter of the crowd behind us.

„What?” He puckered his eyebrows, the glass stopping midway to his mouth, „You just got them!”

„Yeah, exactly...”

„So seeing how Rave is back, maybe let’s go on with Heartless?” Paul was looking back at us from the riser in the center of the stage. Me and Chris shared a look, before Frank joined in with a puzzled expression to his face, ‘cause we had only one song left to play and it was supposed to be Sail.

„We’re not doing Sail?” I shouted over the crowd? Chris just shrugged. Since when did bands leave the show on a sad note? What the fuck was this? A funeral?

Okay fine. I walked to my on stage guitar pedal and set the tune to clear and acoustic. At least the most acoustic I could get from playing an electric, ‘cause god knew ain’t nobody’s got time for changing gear yet again.

I let my hand swing the pick over the strings, to see if the tuning was right for this song and to say it was lousy was an understatement, but hey, I’m going with whatever.

„I feel sick inside ‘cause I can’t believe this is happening...” Paul hit off soon after Chris had played the intro riff, with me and my arpeggios soon on his heels. Fucking finger picking, if I knew it would be this hard to play it on stage, I would’ve never put arpeggios in the fucking song in the fucking first place. I swear to god I was moments away from snapping the pick I was holding between my teeth in two. Oh great the solo part! Fucking awesome, realizing the guitar strap is too loose for my small built, and could somebody get those lights out of my face? I’d appreciate it. Like very fucking much!

____

After the show I was too pissed to even see the opening of Avenged Sevenfold tour, I just wanted to crawl in my bunk and never come out ever again. Not in a couple hours at least, ‘cause that was my best bet, knowing we had to do that thing with the fans in that other thing. And yes, I had no fucking clue of what we were supposed to do or where we were supposed to go. That’s how good of a team player I was. Actually, to think of it, I was the best of them all, I just went and did what they told me, no questions asked. I was awesome.

The thing that really bothered me were my guitar straps, I mean what the fuck, man? I just bought them before going on this fucked up tour! Oh and there was another thing, my Schecter was now string-less ‘cause... well I don’t know why. All of it’s strings were broken but one, the most useless of them all – the D string. I mean... this was just not my tour... Was there anything else that could get broken throughout this adventure?

Restringing the floyd rose tremolo? Like anyone has time for that shit! But apparently someone had to do it, and this someone turned out to be me. So right now, I’m very much fucking pissed sitting on the couch and restringing my gun. I figure this is gonna take some time, seeing how my restringing consisted of searching up video’s about cats. „Fuck, did it just say ‘hello’?” I burst in laughter, repeating the scene, „Holly shit, it did! Chris you have to see this, a cat who’s saying fucking ‘hello’!”

„Aren’t you supposed to be putting strings on that thing?” he knelt down as I turned my laptop against him.

„Nah... I’ll just call Schecter and ask for new guns.” I replied, before turning the video on wide screen mode, „Look, look, look!” I exclaimed a second before the cat meowed a hello. Out of the pure bliss, I even clapped my hands, throwing my head back in a tasty laughter, „Fucking priceless!”

„There’s something deadly wrong with you, Hills...” he gave me a strange look. Oh like he had never searched up video’s about cats... fucking liar.

„Oh just because you can’t tell excellent things apart from complete and utter bullshit, that makes me the wacko? If you think I’m showing you an even better video, you have another thing coming...” I pouted turning the laptop away from him.

„Another video about a cat, only this time it’s saying ‘hey, I’m McQueen, and I’m lazy as fuck’?”

„haha, very funny...” I said, sending him a death-glare, „And if you can’t tell, I’m fake laughing right now.”

„Stupid me... falling for that fake laughter. What an idiot, right?”

„You guys, Bryan Stars is here,” Luke shouted from outside the buss. Noooo... this was my free time. No, I don’t wanna...

„Fuck...” I exclaimed, „Another interview?”

„Don’t sweat it, this guy’s cool.” Chris stated with a smile, before a tall yet very blond and odd looking fellow walked in the buss. He was wearing a blue Laker’s shirt and I’d say a size too big light blue jeans. Or maybe it was just my taste that preferred a skinnier and skimpier looking clothing... I really did not know. I gave Chris a look ‘you were saying?’? Along with Bryan a slim scene type kid came over, holding a camera.

„Hey, I’m Bryan,” He held out his hand for me.

„yeah, it was kind of hard to miss...” I laughed, shaking his hand. „I’m Meg... or as everyone know me Raven.”

„So where do you want to do it?” Was it meant sexually, ‘cause sorry, but not my type dude.

„Here’s good,” Chris answered on my behalf, ‘cause I was all about chuckles and giggles. Bryan looked at me confused.

„Excuse her, she’s been watching videos about cats...” And rolling a Mary Jane! Don’t forget the Mary Jane!

„Oh yeah? You’ve seen the one where a cat say’s ‘meowllo’?” He asked me with an excited smile on his lips.

„She was showing it just now...”

„It’s great right?”

„See?” I pointed out to Bryan, which had a wonderful taste if I may add, „the one person who understands me. Dude, I like you already.” I looked at the skinny kid holding the camera towards me. „Wait are you already filming?” Bryan had a guilty look on his face, „Oh c’mon, dudes, I’m not ready, I’ve to put my Raven McQueen snobbishness on.” I made myself comfortable in the lotus pose and took a deep inhale and seconds later let it all out. „Okay, now I’m cool.” I stated, crossing my legs and throwing my arm over the back of the couch.

When we were about to get to the real deal, an irritated shout happened outside the bus, „Megan fucking Hills!” I opened my mouth to say something, but just closed it seconds later. Once Brian step his foot on the no-man’s-land as I liked to call it, ‘cause let’s be real, Frank and Chris were as much of a man as me and Bailey were sober, he was taken aback, seeing me and Chris in the middle of an interview.

„Yes, honey?” I said in my sweetest voice. What was he hoping to find here storming in with that face? Or most importantly- what had I done yet again? Oh shit... My eyes slid over to my Schecter which had an attachment – Syn’s guitar strap.

„Oh, no, all’s cool... I’ll come back later.” He said before stepping back and disappearing from the sight.

„He could’ve stayed,” Bryan’s eyes still on the place where Haner had stood, a puzzled expression to his face.

„Oh don’t worry about him, he’s cool like that.” I waved him off.

Brian’s POV

The words of their last song were stuck in my head and I swear I wanted to bash someone’s head in just because I couldn’t get rid of it.

When I asked you what happened
You sat there and lied to me
An swore you were just hangin out
So why'd you look so scared baby every time the phone would ring?
And how do you explain the stains I found?

Everybody thought they knew me, you there – you’re the saint and I’m the phony? You know what, fuck you... What was going on with me? That was a damn good question I was looking the answer for myself.

I have no fucking clue why I had stormed in the Beautiful Wasteland bus like that, I was pissed and I needed to take it out on someone, so fucking thank god Meg wasn’t alone there, ‘cause I don’t know what I would’ve done if she’d been all by herself.

What the hell was I doing? I tilted my head against the bus as I blew out a thick cloud of smoke. Had I absolutely no self-control? Get your shit together, Haner... Fuck, I don’t even have the slightest clue where the fuck I was when Meg broke her ribs, or how did she even do it, I kinda snapped out of it only when I realized Matt’s fist was flying for my face.

What have I been taking this whole time? It would be an understatement to tell I’ve been blacking out from time to time, no, the truth was I remembered very little of each time when I popped a beer open.

„hey...” A cheerful voice addressed me as I slowly and unwillingly turned my head to look at Kathy’s smiling face... and that cleavage. Fuck. Breathe, Brian, just fucking breathe and turn away.

„Hi,” I took a drag, raising my eyes to look over the nightly sky.

„I brought you a beer...” Hesitantly I forced myself to look back at her and avoid seeing anything below her chin line. She was holding out a bottle of Bud Light.

„Nah... I think I’m good.” I narrowed my eyes on her just to see her shrug and take a big gulp herself. „So that show tonight... you got to see it?”

„Oh yeah, I asked Madison to look over my booth as I ran to see you guys. You were absolutely amazing!” She cheered. Gee, I had my own fucking psycho fangirl, how great was that? The answer – none, whatsoever. „So... let’s go and explore the bars tonight, watcha say?” Kathy nugged on my side and I couldn’t remember how many times before had I already heard that question and to be completely honest, I wasn’t up for our regular one night stand.

„Not tonight, Kathy,” I saw her face drop. Oh jeez, that’s why I never was sober around her. She was like a twelve year old with a body of a twenty year old. I couldn’t recall the last time when I had spent some time with Meg, who in fact was my girlfriend... this was messed up. „Look you’re sweet, cool and fucking gorgeous, but I need to spend some time with Meg too.”

„Oh yeah, I totally get it,” but she didn’t. She really didn’t. Fucking hell... I was too old for this shit. Groupies, drugs and liquor? I had already been dumped for that, so maybe it was time to settle down?

Yeah, fuck that ‘cause I wound up at some bar, fucking wasted. I had no idea how I got here, the last thing I remembered was agreeing to one drink just so there would be one girl less who’s pissed at me in this world.

If there would be any point of slapping myself, I’d do it, right after I’d slap that ass... Jesus fuck, this didn’t even feel like booze, I was just spinning through life, a wonderful feeling escorting me until everything came falling down, when I understood this is fucked up. All the great buzz vanished and there was left only me and the bitter moment where I was zipping up my pants with Kathy wiping off her mouth, a devilish smirk on her lips.

No, not fucking again...

I stumbled my way out of the toilet booth, trying to figure where the heck I was and how to get back to our tour bus. After moments of fighting the crowd just to get out of the bar, I felt a cool breeze hitting me in the face and I felt like throwing up.

As soon as I got out, I kept on going not even looking back. After minutes of going straight, somehow, out of pure miracle I wound up outside the Beautiful Wasteland tour bus at the exact same moment when Meg went for a smoke.

„Meg...” I whispered, suddenly feeling very tired. Her eyes raised up as she was lighting her cigarette, before she fixed them on me, with a big frown all over her face.

„Haner?” I felt her catching me, with a moan escaping her lips as I crashed in her, „What the hell? Are you fucking drunk?”

„I don’t know... I think I took something...”

„What, like drugs?”

„I feel like I need to sit for a moment...”

„The hell you are, c’mon, let’s get you inside...” I felt her wrap my hand around her neck as she helped me up on bus. This had to end... I couldn’t continue like this, since it felt like I was having a heart-attack and about throw up all my internal organs.

Notes