Life According To Amber Lynn Haner

*Amber's POV*

I sat up in the guest bedroom, flicking through my photos on my iPhone, and listening to Im The Secret by Jaime Preciado (the bass player in Pierce The Veil (my literal favourite band)). The photos were of my mom and I from a few months back, back when she was still with me.

Its been just over a week since she's passed, and thinking of her death got me thinking of my own. I swore to myself that I'd be gone soon after she passed, but I'm still here. I'd met my father, and even though we've had a shitty beginning, it still counts. Having thought everything through, I'd finally decided to just overdose on all of my depression meds, straightforward and it won't even hurt. I'll just make sure to do it when he's not around.

"You've been up here for hours, are you alright?" Brian asked, sitting down next to me on the floor. I wiped away the tears that managed to escape, and prayed that he didn't notice.

"Im fine." I muttered, staring at the floor.

"Are you hungry?"

"Nah, I'm good thanks, but if it puts you're mind at rest, I'll eat later on."

"Good, you like need to eat."

"Funny, my mom always said that.." Silence fell upon us, but it wasn't an awkward silence, it was fine.

"She was great, Amanda. Always knew how to make everyone smile." He said after a while, and I drew my knees up to my chest.

"She was, nobody ever had anything bad to say about her. And she was able to tolerate me, and that takes guts." I replied, and he laughed slightly.

"You're not a bad kid, you're just misunderstood. People just look at you and think you're sarcastic and mean, but I know you never mean it. You're hurting, I can see it. You just need to loosen up, because not everybody's bad." Now that's deep, I'm impressed.

"Who are you, Dr. Phil?!" I laughed a bit too, and I noticed him smile.

"I might be, you never know." We were silent again for a while, and I fiddled with my lip ring.

"Look, I know we didn't have the best beginning, and I know you're probably extremely fucking mad at me, but I just want to make amends. I don't want to spend the rest of your life fighting with you, that's the last thing I want. So will you give me another chance?" He seemed like, really sincere about it, and I'd feel bad for letting him down.

"I guess, I mean, I don't hold grudges often, mind. And besides, you're my dad so I guess I have to love you at some point!" I replied, staring at the ground.

"And I'll always love you, I can promise you that."

"Thank you, mom was the only person to say that to me."

"Well she was right, you deserve to be loved. Despite your extremely high sarcasm, you're a sweet kid. It just takes people time to see it."

"You think so?"

"I know so, Amber. I know that you are."

"Thanks..Dad.." I feel awfully guilty about ending my life now.

Notes

Aw, she called Brian "Dad" for the first time lol

I've got a bad flu, and it's seriously not nice, like I'm surprised I haven't fainted yet

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