Life According To Amber Lynn Haner

*Amber's POV*

We came back from Denver a week and a half ago, and I've been a mess. My appetite was just starting to creep back in, and I'd kicked my vegetarian diet, but now I refuse to eat at all (unless Dad puts some item of food in front of me and tells me to eat it (even that procedure's like pulling teeth)). Instead, I sit alone in my room all day, staring blankly out the window. I haven't been this bad since Mom died.

It can't be any easier for Dad, either. Only six months back, he was reunited with the daughter he never got to see grow up, and now I'm a moping mess. I'm literally a walking zombie.

Dad's ex-wife Michelle called over, and I was finally introduced to her. She's literally one of the nicest people on the planet, and she's also Val's sister. She said she was finally glad to meet me, as she and Dad are still close and great friends, so she's heard a lot about me. She also said that even though she isn't my mom, and that she and Dad are divorced, she'd still be there for me as much as she could, as "it's not always easy not having another girl around the house", as she put it. I just love that woman.

Matt, Zacky, Johnny, and Arin have been gently trying to get me out of the house, so Dad obviously called in the big guns, as no matter how many times he tried, he couldn't get me past the front door. No matter what any of them say to me, I refuse to go out. I'd rather not, thanks a bunch.

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It was just another day (I don't even know what day of the week it is, that's how screwed up I feel), and after I dragged myself to the shower, forcing myself to scrub up even though I didn't feel like it. Once I was done, I threw on a pair of skinny jeans and a fluffy sweater and my black Uggs, dried my hair, half-heartedly put my makeup on and trudged downstairs, trying to keep myself together. That reminded me, I needed to take my meds. It's awful relying on medication to make you feel happy.

"Do you feel any better today?" Dad asked me, handing me a mug of tea while I got my meds from the top of the kitchen presses. No, mister, I don't feel at better today.

"No..I don't.." I replied weakly. I just honestly don't want to live any more.

"That's ok, just take your time, and you'll feel better when you're ready. It takes time to heal after something like that happens, believe me, I've been in your position."

"Uh-huh.."

"Do you want to do anything today, to try and distract yourself? It doesn't really matter what, just something to keep your mind off of things." God frickity-fracking bless his patience.

"Not really..sorry.."

"Don't be, it's fine. But how about this; we could just go into the town and just look around. We don't even have to buy anything, we can just look around. I determined to get you out of the house today."

"Oh..ok..I guess.."

"That's my girl. You take your time and finish up, and give me a shout when you're ready to go." He ruffled my fringe and went down into the basement where he keeps his guitars and stuff like that, while I finished up my mug of tea and went upstairs to brush my teeth.

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We got the bus into the town, and got a very disapproving look from this elderly couple, probably due to Dad's two tattoo sleeves, my piercings and red hair, and the fact that we were mostly dressed in black. I thought we looked great, just saying.

We did a round trip of the full town, going into every shop available, and I bought some CDs and jeans and sweaters. We got pretty hungry, so we ended up in Nando's, and I even ate my food, which says something. And Dad mustve really been feeling bad for me, because he bought me a Starbucks. Twice.

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A good chunk of the day was spent in the town, and I felt a bit better, I gotta admit. The rest of the evening, we watched movies camped out on the couch under a gazillion blankets, and it was the most fun I've had in a while. Dad kept his arm around me, just incase I felt like crying again. I've been like that on and off all day.

I think Dad was just relieved to see me smile for the first time in a while.

Notes

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've had a rough few days, but I promise it won't happen again. Sorry again!

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